If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Kansas City) Amusing Woman scares away home invader by invoking the spirit of Fred Sanford   (kansascity.com) divider line 46
More: Amusing  
•       •       •

10176 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2009 at 4:19 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-12-09 02:28:19 AM
I'm commin' to join ya, Elizibeth!
 
2009-12-09 02:39:28 AM
Ain't nothin' in this world uglier than a 90-year-old white woman.
 
2009-12-09 03:11:55 AM
Bathia_Mapes: Ain't nothin' in this world uglier than a 90-year-old white woman.

i45.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-09 03:35:32 AM
chemical_angel: Bathia_Mapes: Ain't nothin' in this world uglier than a 90-year-old white woman.

Good morning, Esther.
 
2009-12-09 04:22:33 AM
chemical_angel: Bathia_Mapes: Ain't nothin' in this world uglier than a 90-year-old white woman.

Jebus. Thread over, already.
 
2009-12-09 04:22:53 AM
+1 for the lady that did that.
 
2009-12-09 04:29:18 AM
Approves of the fake heart attack:

i711.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-09 04:30:47 AM
She shoulda given him five across his lip!!
/Big Dummy!!
 
2009-12-09 04:32:14 AM
Oh, this is the biggest one I ever had. You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you honey!
i17.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-09 04:34:37 AM
Barakku: I'm commin' to join ya, Elizibeth!

A "Cool story, Bro" moment, but I actually had a patient in the ER utter these words dramatically during his MI. I kinda felt bad laughing at a man having a heart attack.
 
2009-12-09 04:36:05 AM
That's pretty funny.

Almost almost as funny as the lady that fakes having AIDS in order to avoid a rape.
 
2009-12-09 04:40:31 AM
So she claimed to be having a heart attack even though she was physically fine. That's not proper. Shame on her.

Now the thief will be thinking all senior citizens are hypochondriacs.
 
2009-12-09 04:57:21 AM
I thought Sanford was hiking on the Appalachian trail with the Argentinian firecracker
 
2009-12-09 05:28:15 AM
Great, now I want champipple.
 
2009-12-09 05:28:47 AM
Where the hell was Lamont?
 
2009-12-09 05:32:16 AM
Dr.Zom: Where the hell was Lamont?

Drivin' the truck..you big dummy.
 
2009-12-09 05:39:51 AM
Great, now I'll have the Sanford and Son theme song running through my head all day.
 
2009-12-09 05:42:24 AM
She told him his face was so ugly, she could press it in some dough and make gorilla cookies?
 
2009-12-09 05:44:39 AM
Hilary T. N. Seuss: Great, now I'll have the Sanford and Son theme song running through my head all day.

Maybe this will help: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WqazleR3FE
 
2009-12-09 05:45:58 AM
Anyone referenced "Big dummy" yet?


/got nada
 
2009-12-09 06:12:34 AM
Hilary T. N. Seuss: Great, now I'll have the Sanford and Son theme song running through my head all day.

It's my ringtone.
 
2009-12-09 06:34:12 AM
Sitting_Duk: Hilary T. N. Seuss: Great, now I'll have the Sanford and Son theme song running through my head all day.

It's my ringtone.


Mine too. Still think it's the funkiest tv these song ever.
 
2009-12-09 06:57:18 AM
tatum: Sitting_Duk: Hilary T. N. Seuss: Great, now I'll have the Sanford and Son theme song running through my head all day.

It's my ringtone.

Mine too. Still think it's the funkiest tv these song ever.


Written by Herbie Hancock, it's just awesome. (pops)
 
2009-12-09 07:22:44 AM
FTA: The woman did not require medical attention, according to police reports Officers Smitty Smith and Hoppy Hopkins.

Fixed that for them
 
2009-12-09 07:41:32 AM
Pope Michael of Discordia: That's pretty funny.

Almost almost as funny as the lady that fakes having AIDS in order to avoid a rape.


(Technique void in Africa)
 
2009-12-09 07:42:11 AM
Fred: Sangria? What's that mean?
Julio: Blood.
Fred: spitake!

/never gets old.
 
2009-12-09 07:45:47 AM
kokomo61: Written by Herbie Hancock, it's just awesome. (pops)

Quincy Jones

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanford_and_Son_Theme_%28The_Streetbeater%29
 
2009-12-09 07:53:14 AM
Ya think he may be coming back now that he knows she faked it?
 
2009-12-09 08:16:47 AM
farkingismybusiness, you beat me to it!!!

That's right, show the thief that he's goin' up the river of homicide charges instead.

Good For Her :)
 
2009-12-09 08:20:53 AM
At least it prevented her washtub bass and bowl of menudo from being stolen.
 
2009-12-09 08:33:10 AM
hellsgoldenangel: Barakku: I'm commin' to join ya, Elizibeth!

A "Cool story, Bro" moment, but I actually had a patient in the ER utter these words dramatically during his MI. I kinda felt bad laughing at a man having a heart attack.


You gotta love customers who do their part to lighten the mood. Their way of saying "thanks for lingering here in this dreadful place just for my benefit."
 
2009-12-09 08:44:23 AM
Elmo Jones: Fred: Sangria? What's that mean?
Julio: Blood.
Fred: spitake!

/never gets old.


"Buenos dias, senor!"
"Well beans and disease to you, too!"
 
2009-12-09 08:57:15 AM
CS,B moment:

Someone broke into one of our friends neighbor's house who was a 70+ year old woman and started to sexualy assult her when she started to yell "Give it too me big boy, I have not had a good farking in a long while".

It prompted him to run out of the house as quick as he could.


/follow up: They caught the lil farker and he's now in jail :)
 
2009-12-09 09:07:35 AM
Electriclectic: Elmo Jones: Fred: Sangria? What's that mean?
Julio: Blood.
Fred: spitake!

/never gets old.

"Buenos dias, senor!"
"Well beans and disease to you, too!"


This is Julio, Rollo, and..... Telephone Polo. (new window)
 
2009-12-09 09:13:16 AM
I was hoping the woman started yelling, "you big dummy" and swinging at the guy's head. But, faking a heart attack is pretty good anyway.
 
2009-12-09 09:23:01 AM
I'll bet the intruder felt like a fish-eyed fool after reading this in the paper.
 
2009-12-09 09:51:02 AM
I came for the Larry David reference, and now I have to clean this up.
 
2009-12-09 09:56:35 AM
tennessee.hillbilly: Anyone referenced "Big dummy" yet?


Wow, a child actor who turned out ok. (new window)
 
2009-12-09 10:03:13 AM
www.wearyourbeer.com

/hotattack
 
2009-12-09 10:19:48 AM
Otto's_Jacket: Bathia_Mapes: Ain't nothin' in this world uglier than a 90-year-old white woman.

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?
Fred Sanford: I'm calling you ugly, I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

/fish-eyed fool!
 
2009-12-09 10:53:59 AM
StarBob: /hotattack

I have that shirt.
 
2009-12-09 12:58:45 PM
SBinRR: Electriclectic: Elmo Jones: Fred: Sangria? What's that mean?
Julio: Blood.
Fred: spitake!

/never gets old.

"Buenos dias, senor!"
"Well beans and disease to you, too!"

This is Julio, Rollo, and..... Telephone Polo. (new window)


/just spit water all over keyboard
//still loling
 
2009-12-09 03:39:52 PM
What are the chances of this lady getting some very unwelcome guests here soon?
 
2009-12-09 10:06:35 PM
I heard a story once about ten years ago where someone broke into the house with a gun and threatened the owner. The owner started yelling, which caught the attention of his cousin upstairs.

The cousin assessed the situation from around a corner.
Then immediately started cheering something like:

"YEEEEE-HAW! Praise the Lord! I gots me a real, live BURGLAR to shoot! Yeah, baby, it's time for some LEGAL TARGET PRACTICE!!"

Then the cousin started laughing like a crazed, redneck maniac.

The gunman freaked out, let go of the owner and ran away.

The interesting part? The cousin didn't even have a gun.

Turns out he had been to acting school, however.
He figured that becoming a maniac-killer redneck character would do some good. :)

/Don't know if the story is true or not, wish I had some kind of article to back it up
 
2009-12-10 10:25:28 PM
True story bro:

On October 11, 1991, during a break from rehearsals for The Royal Family, Red Foxx suffered a fatal heart attack on the set. Reportedly, co-star Della Reese and the rest of the cast and crew thought he was doing his classic "Elizabeth, I'm coming to join you!" fake heart attack routine he made famous on Sanford and Son, even going as far as collapsing to the floor, although that was not part of the usual schtick. However, this heart attack was real, and Foxx never regained consciousness. He was 68 years old.
 
2009-12-11 08:10:19 PM
backseatdriver: kokomo61: Written by Herbie Hancock, it's just awesome. (pops)

Quincy Jones

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanford_and_Son_Theme_%28The_Streetbeater%29


backseatdriver: Quincy

Oops, you're right....Herbie wrote the theme from Fat Albert.

/Still a cool tune.

I'll just go listen to some Rockford Files
(Mike Post).
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »