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As the year draws to a close, Drew wants to know: what thread or story on Fark made you laugh the most this year? Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/29 - 12/5 
Posted by Drew at 2009-12-07 12:21:11 PM, edited 2009-12-07 12:36:12 PM (15 comments) | Permalink
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5151 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2009 at 2:00 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Not a lot to report on the news front this week. The entire month of December is one long winding down of actual news as everyone starts taking vacations. It will be especially pronounced this year with Christmas on a Friday.

On that note, tell me what your favorite moments on Fark were this year. Favorite weird articles, discussion threads, or anything else that made you laugh out loud? Bonus points if alcohol was not a factor.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-11-29 to Sat 2009-12-05:  Two dogs in Beijing diagnosed with swine flu, will be treated with soy sauce  North Korea sharply revalues currency. With the new exchange rate, it will now take two wons to make a wight  Cardinal says homosexuals can't enter heaven. What, not even by the back-door?  Southerners have a higher risk of stroke, especially with their sister  Power of Fark combines with power of attorney to touch children. Wait  Image of Virgin Mary found on pancake. Experts confident it's her since it clearly wasn't defloured  Germany will finish paying World War I reparations next year, So, remember that the next time some guy named Archie Duke shoots an ostrich because he's hungry, just let it go  Former Catholic Archbishop shredded sex abuse reports, anuses  Butterfingered goober, being a smartie, tried to skor a hat and two Whatchamacallits from a police station. His fast break failed and he's in mounds of trouble. His airhead girlfriend also got some snickers and a time-out  Dozens missing in Egypt ferry accident, family members are in De Nile  BASE* jumper dies in Arizona. (Building, Antenna, oh SHIAT - ELECTRICITY)

Sports:  Tiger adds "tournament" to list of things he shouldn't have pulled out of, which already includes "driveway" and "mistress"  Mangino steps down as Kansas football coach, registers 7.5 on Richter Scale  Tebow may be able to walk on water, but he can not run on the Tide

Geek:  Scientists gain new insights into the experience of anger, its role in our everyday lives and the fact that I WON'T farkING GET OVER THE REDESIGN, DREW. EVER  New light shed on epilepsy. Hopefully, it's not a strobe light  Glacier threatens capital city of Bolivia, sparking warnings that people may one day have to walk for their lives

Showbiz:  BBC angrily pulls shows off air after discovering that producers passed fake scenes off as real, saying that behaviour might be acceptable in climate change research but daytime television has higher standards than that  Harlan Ellison wants to work on "Star Trek 2". Paramount suggests a red shirt and a precipice  Fan gives the Jonas Brothers a dead shark as a gift. They immediately jump it

Politics:  New Jersey likely to legalize medical marijuana, which can help to alleviate the pain of having to live in New Jersey  Imelda Marcos registers to run for Philippines congress. Observers say she is a shoe-in  Japan's huge stimulus package to be unveiled next week, amid concerns it will look so small in comparison with gigantic American stimulus package

Music:  Allman Brothers museum opens in Georgia; Jimmy Carter timed his Orange Sunshine to peak when the doors opened  Bruce Springsteen says he's "exactly where I want to be". Which is noteworthy because so few of us would want to be a multi-millionaire rock star who was still packing stadiums well into his 60's  Pete Doherty's band Babyshambles will release a new album and go on tour next year. World's heroin, cocaine, and meth producers ramp up production

Business:  Just like a call on their network, AT&T's suit against Verizon terminates unexpectedly  GE decides to focus on making products people want, will spin off NBC  I've been herring that the last sardine plant in the U.S. may pack it in and are floundering over new catch restrictions. Oh Cod, say it's not true
· · ·
(view entire blog)

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2009-12-07 12:40:53 PM  
6 votes:
There were a lot of good threads this year, but the one that made me laugh the hardest was Sorry Tom, I got my thumb in the picture. No wait. That's your face
2009-12-07 02:11:11 PM  
4 votes:
The BesiktasBoy83's comment and all the retorts in this thread (new egyptian cotton sheets) were the most memorable for me
2009-12-07 03:47:31 PM  
3 votes:
The Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket Thread was just about the funniest damn thing ever.

Chris: Hello. Welcome to Parts Express technical support.

you: Hi

Chris: How can I help today?

you: I'm General Shackley. I work in a US military facility in Cuba and have a question about the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket. We're upgrading some systems here and I wonder if you have any data on how well these sockets perform when used to provide electric shocks to genitals.

Chris: they perform flawlessly

you: Excellent! I'll order a dozen. Thanks!
2009-12-07 02:35:57 PM  
3 votes:
I'm going to have to go with this one (new window), Phil.

Here's a hint:

/great beat
//you can dance to it
2009-12-07 02:22:22 PM  
3 votes:

What about the truly epic thread about the mentally ill guy who made threats against the Whitehouse and then locked himself in his red Volkswagen?

Who can forget the nailbiting tension as we watched Failbot 1's tragic encounter with a curb? The wit and wisdom of Chopper Dave? The endless speculation about turn signals, whehter they'd send in another robot to rescue the first robot, and how one man can apparantly take an entire cannister of teargass to the face and still not get out of his car?

Truly, a great day to be a Farker.
2009-12-07 03:47:55 PM  
2 votes:
The one with the tits.
2009-12-07 02:42:09 PM  
2 votes:
That one about the thing, and stuff.
2009-12-07 02:16:40 PM  
2 votes:
This one involves Bawney Fwank

Link (new window)
2009-12-07 01:51:03 PM  
2 votes:
It'd have to be exit 69, Bob.
2009-12-07 12:41:37 PM  
2 votes:
2009-12-07 12:35:57 PM  
2 votes:
Italian president shot and killed.
2009-12-07 06:22:14 PM  
1 votes:
2009-12-07 03:12:47 PM  
1 votes:
It begins and ends with, well, ME!

I will kick your ass

dem pitchers is mines
2009-12-07 02:02:19 PM  
1 votes:
Germans bomb Pearl Harbor.

/too soon?
2009-12-07 01:23:21 PM  
1 votes:
Any TSG mugshot thread
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