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As the year draws to a close, Drew wants to know: what thread or story on Fark made you laugh the most this year? Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/29 - 12/5 
Posted by Drew at 2009-12-07 12:21:11 PM, edited 2009-12-07 12:36:12 PM (114 comments) | Permalink
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5151 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2009 at 2:00 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Not a lot to report on the news front this week. The entire month of December is one long winding down of actual news as everyone starts taking vacations. It will be especially pronounced this year with Christmas on a Friday.

On that note, tell me what your favorite moments on Fark were this year. Favorite weird articles, discussion threads, or anything else that made you laugh out loud? Bonus points if alcohol was not a factor.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-11-29 to Sat 2009-12-05:

img1.fark.net  Two dogs in Beijing diagnosed with swine flu, will be treated with soy sauce    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  North Korea sharply revalues currency. With the new exchange rate, it will now take two wons to make a wight    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Cardinal says homosexuals can't enter heaven. What, not even by the back-door?    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Southerners have a higher risk of stroke, especially with their sister    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Power of Fark combines with power of attorney to touch children. Wait  

img1.fark.net  Image of Virgin Mary found on pancake. Experts confident it's her since it clearly wasn't defloured    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Germany will finish paying World War I reparations next year, So, remember that the next time some guy named Archie Duke shoots an ostrich because he's hungry, just let it go    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Former Catholic Archbishop shredded sex abuse reports, anuses    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Butterfingered goober, being a smartie, tried to skor a hat and two Whatchamacallits from a police station. His fast break failed and he's in mounds of trouble. His airhead girlfriend also got some snickers and a time-out    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Dozens missing in Egypt ferry accident, family members are in De Nile    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  BASE* jumper dies in Arizona. (Building, Antenna, oh SHIAT - ELECTRICITY)    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Tiger adds "tournament" to list of things he shouldn't have pulled out of, which already includes "driveway" and "mistress"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Mangino steps down as Kansas football coach, registers 7.5 on Richter Scale    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Tebow may be able to walk on water, but he can not run on the Tide    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Scientists gain new insights into the experience of anger, its role in our everyday lives and the fact that I WON'T farkING GET OVER THE REDESIGN, DREW. EVER    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  New light shed on epilepsy. Hopefully, it's not a strobe light    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Glacier threatens capital city of Bolivia, sparking warnings that people may one day have to walk for their lives    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  BBC angrily pulls shows off air after discovering that producers passed fake scenes off as real, saying that behaviour might be acceptable in climate change research but daytime television has higher standards than that    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Harlan Ellison wants to work on "Star Trek 2". Paramount suggests a red shirt and a precipice    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Fan gives the Jonas Brothers a dead shark as a gift. They immediately jump it    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  New Jersey likely to legalize medical marijuana, which can help to alleviate the pain of having to live in New Jersey    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Imelda Marcos registers to run for Philippines congress. Observers say she is a shoe-in    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Japan's huge stimulus package to be unveiled next week, amid concerns it will look so small in comparison with gigantic American stimulus package    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Allman Brothers museum opens in Georgia; Jimmy Carter timed his Orange Sunshine to peak when the doors opened    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Bruce Springsteen says he's "exactly where I want to be". Which is noteworthy because so few of us would want to be a multi-millionaire rock star who was still packing stadiums well into his 60's    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Pete Doherty's band Babyshambles will release a new album and go on tour next year. World's heroin, cocaine, and meth producers ramp up production    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  Just like a call on their network, AT&T's suit against Verizon terminates unexpectedly    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  GE decides to focus on making products people want, will spin off NBC    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  I've been herring that the last sardine plant in the U.S. may pack it in and are floundering over new catch restrictions. Oh Cod, say it's not true    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


114 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2009-12-07 02:54:57 PM
Tentacle: The BesiktasBoy83's comment and all the retorts in this thread (new egyptian cotton sheets) were the most memorable for me

That guy had a half-dozen threads where he kept making an ass of himself and hitting on the TFettes. I was Farking almost continuously around that time, so I was there for most of them. And boy, they were glorious. I even tried to help him, I gave him advice that I was a lurker for 2 years prior to making an account, and maybe he should just sit on the sidelines and watch so that he could get the feel of things.

But no... He jumped in headfirst, damn all warnings! Classic.
 
2009-12-07 02:57:16 PM
Dr.Knockboots: Best headline last week that wasn't greenlit:

Italian President shot
(only because of the link it went to.. you have to get the reference)

Link
Damn you, that was genius!

Link


oh good lord.

Yeah, too bad the liters will never see it...UNLESS YOU ACT RIGHT NOW! THAT'S RIGHT, FOR ONLY $5...YOU HEARD ME, ONLY $5...YOU, TOO, CAN SEE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN MISSING! THIS IS A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY PEOPLE! DON'T PASS IT UP! AND LET'S NOT FORGET THAT DREW NEEDS MORE BEER!! OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!

/that's a lot of entertainment...for five dollars
 
2009-12-07 02:58:46 PM
I especially liked all of the Palin and Coulter ads. Made the discussions in the Politics tab oh so much more delicious.
 
2009-12-07 03:00:56 PM
This one amused me (new window)
 
2009-12-07 03:05:12 PM
Not the funniest, but the most interesting thread, I thought,was here: Link
 
2009-12-07 03:06:06 PM
I don't care what Drew wants
 
2009-12-07 03:06:56 PM
Super Chronic: This (new window) has to have been my favorite photoshop thread of the year, maybe ever.

Thanks, I missed that one.
 
2009-12-07 03:09:35 PM
Sir Vanderhoot: Tentacle: The BesiktasBoy83's comment and all the retorts in this thread (new egyptian cotton sheets) were the most memorable for me

That guy had a half-dozen threads where he kept making an ass of himself and hitting on the TFettes. I was Farking almost continuously around that time, so I was there for most of them. And boy, they were glorious. I even tried to help him, I gave him advice that I was a lurker for 2 years prior to making an account, and maybe he should just sit on the sidelines and watch so that he could get the feel of things.

But no... He jumped in headfirst, damn all warnings! Classic.


*reads linked thread*

Hmm.

I should sponsor him. Hook him up with a li'l TFD. That'll set him right!
 
2009-12-07 03:10:24 PM
My persistent booger threads which kept getting redlit!
 
2009-12-07 03:12:11 PM
Seriously Drew, we really need to talk about this booger hate.
 
2009-12-07 03:12:36 PM
 
2009-12-07 03:12:47 PM
It begins and ends with, well, ME!

I will kick your ass
cache.gawker.com

dem pitchers is mines
 
2009-12-07 03:15:18 PM
hands down, the story about the old lady with the runaway scooter. she lost control while going somewhere with her husband and was found five miles away. i could not stop laughing while i was reading, and for like 15 minutes later. just look at this woman:
newsimg.bbc.co.uk

article here (new window)
 
2009-12-07 03:18:47 PM
dodecahedron: I liked this one:

Didn't think a painting could be a perfect example of Poe's Law? Well, here it is. Subby has no idea if this is real or satire (new window)



That was a wonderful thread. I enjoyed it greatly.

King Douchenozzle Von Crunk: It begins and ends with, well, ME!

I will kick your ass


dem pitchers is mines


Was that this year? Man, feels like ages ago. But yes, wonderful thread.
 
2009-12-07 03:21:38 PM
dv-ous: Sorry to say it, but the most memorable thing on Fark this year by a long shot was "My daddy ate my eyes."

Fark you, humanity. Fark you. :-(


Unfortunately, this.
 
2009-12-07 03:23:28 PM
The content of this thread was hilarious. Sorry, yeah, it was in the Politics tab, but it was still a damn good thread.
 
2009-12-07 03:33:00 PM
One of those Photoshop tennis matches will usually get a chuckle out of me. Can't think of one in particular right now, though.
 
2009-12-07 03:44:21 PM
To me, the most epic moment this year was when a Fark Photoshop theme "make your own Snopes entry". . . wound up on Snopes.

/honorable mention to the non-headline about the mime. I didn't think it was that clever, but a lot of people loved it
 
2009-12-07 03:47:31 PM
The Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket Thread was just about the funniest damn thing ever.

Chris: Hello. Welcome to Parts Express technical support.

you: Hi

Chris: How can I help today?

you: I'm General Shackley. I work in a US military facility in Cuba and have a question about the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket. We're upgrading some systems here and I wonder if you have any data on how well these sockets perform when used to provide electric shocks to genitals.

Chris: they perform flawlessly

you: Excellent! I'll order a dozen. Thanks!
 
2009-12-07 03:47:55 PM
The one with the tits.
 
2009-12-07 03:49:04 PM
I'm biased but the iReagan thread was kinda nice. Not a lot of offensive graphics, just good clean humor.

/iKennedy...doesn't display properly...window keeps moving back and to the left...
 
2009-12-07 03:55:36 PM
My favorite thread was the one where Drew publicly announced a new policy of not greenlighting 20+ trolltastic links per day from blogs and editorial pages in accordance with the "no equal time for crazies" chapter of his book.
 
2009-12-07 04:01:48 PM
Best Photoshop Tennis: Link (new window) "Fleeing Shrubbery".

Best Not News Story: Link (new window) "Slow News Day in Greenport, NY"

Best Personality: Link (new window) "King Douchenozzle Von Crunk"

I missed "Thumb Head Guy". I'll have to go peruse that later today.
 
2009-12-07 04:20:34 PM
I kinda liked the one with the large-breasted lesbians with sharp knees and the shark and Clint Eastwood telling them to get off his lawn the Elder Gods and the guy posting "boobies" and the other guy who said he was getting a kick out of these replies and the French guy surrendering and the guy wading around with a basket of Heinekins and Drew drinking a beer and the squirrel with the large nostrils.

/can't recall at the moment exactly which one it was
//it had slashies too
 
2009-12-07 04:46:10 PM
Missicat: Forget the actual headline, but it was in reference to a very slow news day somewhere in NY...there was an article about a police officer pulling someone over.
The BEST!
Though the "thumb face" one is a very very close second....


It would appear to be an excruciatingly slow news day in Greenport, New York (new window)
 
2009-12-07 04:47:32 PM
 
2009-12-07 04:48:22 PM
My favorite every year is the "Kids afraid of Santa, photos" thread. Did we do that one yet this year? (I can't seem to find last years in the archives.)
 
2009-12-07 04:51:33 PM
My suggestion above birthed this image in the comments:

draw.roscada.com

Jesus and an eagle high-fiving. I mean, c'mon!
 
2009-12-07 04:52:13 PM
dv-ous: Sorry to say it, but the most memorable thing on Fark this year by a long shot was "My daddy ate my eyes."

Fark you, humanity. Fark you. :-(


New frontrunner for Father of the Year gets high on PCP and eats his son's eyes. To be fair, it did allow him to see through time before the Vatican could sell him out to the aliens (new window)
 
2009-12-07 05:02:33 PM
Mick Jagger's Birthday: HEY (hey) YOU (you) ... Get off of my lawn (new window)
 
2009-12-07 05:06:32 PM
The "I have your IP address and I'm going to kick your ass" guy gave me a chuckle.

Run up would be the gym in 26 minutes guy.
 
2009-12-07 05:11:06 PM
Ninja Wicked: Link (new window)

The mystery of the Bathtub Taco Sauce


Oh dear God, that's farking hilarious.

"Dude, why did you put ranch dressing in the shower?"
"Because we were out of taco sauce."
 
2009-12-07 05:18:25 PM
HEY (hey) YOU (you) ... Get off of my lawn
 
2009-12-07 05:30:03 PM
I'd tell ya Drew, but we're not supposed to talk about deleted threads. :P
 
2009-12-07 05:40:26 PM
There was also a "Be sad because this is totally about a dead kid" thread a few weeks back that started off with the usual "omg something in my eye" comments and turned into an epic flamewar between two Farkers. One of them posted his address and challenged the other one to come by and try to kick his ass. Then it was all downhill from there. Anyone remember that one?
 
2009-12-07 06:08:30 PM
Ninja Wicked: Link (new window)

The mystery of the Bathtub Taco Sauce


Okay, I just read most of that thread, and I have to say, it has to rank up there as one of the best threads ever.

From the initial heady excitement, the early declarations of what was sure to be an epic thread, the popcorn, the photoshops, and all the hubbub, right down through the waiting, waiting, waiting, passing the time with drunk roommate stories as if around a campfire, eventually getting less and less patient, leading into a dark period of deepening loathing for ElAuttin, finally culminating in conspiracy theories about how he made the whole thing up to get a TotalFark sponsorship, I was right there, reading the whole thing as if it were taking place live in front of me.

I don't want to spoil the surprise ending, but any thread that spawns this...

buzzvert: WAITING FOR ROOMMATE - Synopsis

The plot of Austin M. Floyd's (ElAuttin's) Waiting for Roommate is simple to relate. Thousands of Internet fora dwellers are waiting by their computer screen for the arrival of someone's roommate, who has been caught up in a drunken mystery involving a shower and taco sauce. The netizens quarrel, make up, contemplate suicide, try to sleep, eat a carrot and gnaw on some chicken bones. Several other characters appear, who perform a grotesque scene in the middle of the discussion thread. A young boy arrives to say that the roommate will not come today, but that he will come tomorrow. The thread is a development of the title, Waiting for Roommate. He does not come and the Internet dwellers resume their vigil by their monitors, which between the first and second day has become surrounded by a few beer cans and empty food trays, the only symbol of a possible order in a thoroughly alienated world.

The netizens of Floyd, in their total disposition and in their antics with hats and tight shoes, are reminiscent of Chaplin and the American burlesque comedy team. Pozzo and Lucky, the master and slave, are half vaudeville characters and half marionettes. The purely comic aspect of the thread involves traditional routines that come from the entire history of farce, from the Romans and the Italians, and the red-nosed clown of the modern circus. The language of the thread has gravity, intensity, and conciseness. The long speech of Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener, a bravura passage that is seemingly meaningless, is strongly reminiscent of Joyce and certain effects in Finnegan's Wake. But the thread is far from being a pastiche. It has its own beauty and suggestiveness, and it makes its own comment on man's absurd hope and on the absurd insignificance of man.

The utter simplicity of the discussion, in the histrionic sense, places it in the classical tradition of French drama. It's close adherence to the three unities is a clue to the thread's dramaturgy. The unity of place is a ruddy monitor screen with beer cans and junk food wrappers, a kind of gallows which invites the netizens to consider hanging themselves. This place is any place. It is perhaps best characterized as being the place where the taco sauce roommate is not. As the thread unfolds we come to realize that the roommate is not in any place comparable to the setting of the discussion thread. He will not come out of one place into another. The unity of time is two days, but it might be any sequence of days in anyone's life. Time is equivalent to what is announced in the title: the act of waiting. Time is really immobility, although a few minor changes do take place during the time the discussion endeavors: the desk becomes disheveled and several of the Internet dwellers becomes blindly drunk. The act of waiting is never over, and yet it mysteriously starts up again each day. The action, in the same way, describes a circle. Each day is the return to the beginning. Nothing is completed because nothing can be completed. The despair in the thread, which is never defined as such but which pervades all the lack of action and gives the discussion its metaphysical color, is the fact that the netizens cannot not wait for the roommate, and the corollary fact that he cannot come.


... has accomplished something extraordinary.
 
2009-12-07 06:10:03 PM
Fifi Le Pew: Best Photoshop Tennis: Link (new window) "Fleeing Shrubbery".

Best Not News Story: Link (new window) "Slow News Day in Greenport, NY"

Best Personality: Link (new window) "King Douchenozzle Von Crunk"

I missed "Thumb Head Guy". I'll have to go peruse that later today.


THIS. The fleeing shrubbery was the greatest match of PS Tennis I've ever seen, and I laughed over it off and on for hours. The slow news day in Greenport was hilarious because it got green in the first place on such a short news story, and then the thread itself made it EPIC. The best personality I would have to say, for the thread it produced alone, is the king douchnozzle, although thumb head guy comes in a very, very close second.

/I love Fark threads so much
 
2009-12-07 06:19:24 PM
No explanation needed.

cache.gawker.com

Link (new window)
 
2009-12-07 06:22:14 PM
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4820925
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4820925
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4820925
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4820925
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4820925
really
 
2009-12-07 06:26:02 PM
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4823250&startid=56405383

This thread asploded into awesome.
 
2009-12-07 06:33:26 PM
Red Bug for the win
 
2009-12-07 06:51:14 PM
I will forever cherish my new-found FARK phrase: Yogurt hose.
 
2009-12-07 06:52:38 PM
 
2009-12-07 06:54:41 PM
xanadian:
Yeah, too bad the liters will never see it...UNLESS YOU ACT RIGHT NOW! THAT'S RIGHT, FOR ONLY $5...YOU HEARD ME, ONLY $5...YOU, TOO, CAN SEE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN MISSING! THIS IS A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY PEOPLE! DON'T PASS IT UP! AND LET'S NOT FORGET THAT DREW NEEDS MORE BEER!! OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!

/that's a lot of entertainment...for five dollars


I am TRYING to give Drew my money but the damn thing just won't process. It's been saying check back in 30 minutes for like two days. :'(
 
2009-12-07 07:06:17 PM
rys19: No explanation needed.
HOLY CRAP! I didn't know there was a Facking camera in that place! WTF?!
 
2009-12-07 07:11:07 PM
pick a caturday, any caturday

farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2009-12-07 07:22:55 PM
 
2009-12-07 08:21:35 PM
Has anyone mentioned the Fark mascot and fight club thread? Link (new window)
 
2009-12-07 09:23:50 PM
"What porn might look like" sent me into hysterical laughter.
 
2009-12-07 10:03:55 PM
is time out of joint? (Pops) was one of my all time faves.
 
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