Not a lot to report on the news front this week. The entire month of December is one long winding down of actual news as everyone starts taking vacations. It will be especially pronounced this year with Christmas on a Friday.

On that note, tell me what your favorite moments on Fark were this year. Favorite weird articles, discussion threads, or anything else that made you laugh out loud? Bonus points if alcohol was not a factor.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-11-29 to Sat 2009-12-05:

  Two dogs in Beijing diagnosed with swine flu, will be treated with soy sauce    

  North Korea sharply revalues currency. With the new exchange rate, it will now take two wons to make a wight    

  Cardinal says homosexuals can't enter heaven. What, not even by the back-door?    

  Southerners have a higher risk of stroke, especially with their sister    

  Power of Fark combines with power of attorney to touch children. Wait  

  Image of Virgin Mary found on pancake. Experts confident it's her since it clearly wasn't defloured    

  Germany will finish paying World War I reparations next year, So, remember that the next time some guy named Archie Duke shoots an ostrich because he's hungry, just let it go    

  Former Catholic Archbishop shredded sex abuse reports, anuses    

  Butterfingered goober, being a smartie, tried to skor a hat and two Whatchamacallits from a police station. His fast break failed and he's in mounds of trouble. His airhead girlfriend also got some snickers and a time-out    

  Dozens missing in Egypt ferry accident, family members are in De Nile    

  BASE* jumper dies in Arizona. (Building, Antenna, oh SHIAT - ELECTRICITY)    


Sports:

  Tiger adds "tournament" to list of things he shouldn't have pulled out of, which already includes "driveway" and "mistress"    

  Mangino steps down as Kansas football coach, registers 7.5 on Richter Scale    

  Tebow may be able to walk on water, but he can not run on the Tide    


Geek:

  Scientists gain new insights into the experience of anger, its role in our everyday lives and the fact that I WON'T farkING GET OVER THE REDESIGN, DREW. EVER    

  New light shed on epilepsy. Hopefully, it's not a strobe light    

  Glacier threatens capital city of Bolivia, sparking warnings that people may one day have to walk for their lives    


Showbiz:

  BBC angrily pulls shows off air after discovering that producers passed fake scenes off as real, saying that behaviour might be acceptable in climate change research but daytime television has higher standards than that    

  Harlan Ellison wants to work on "Star Trek 2". Paramount suggests a red shirt and a precipice    

  Fan gives the Jonas Brothers a dead shark as a gift. They immediately jump it    


Politics:

  New Jersey likely to legalize medical marijuana, which can help to alleviate the pain of having to live in New Jersey    

  Imelda Marcos registers to run for Philippines congress. Observers say she is a shoe-in    

  Japan's huge stimulus package to be unveiled next week, amid concerns it will look so small in comparison with gigantic American stimulus package    


Music:

  Allman Brothers museum opens in Georgia; Jimmy Carter timed his Orange Sunshine to peak when the doors opened    

  Bruce Springsteen says he's "exactly where I want to be". Which is noteworthy because so few of us would want to be a multi-millionaire rock star who was still packing stadiums well into his 60's    

  Pete Doherty's band Babyshambles will release a new album and go on tour next year. World's heroin, cocaine, and meth producers ramp up production    


Business:

  Just like a call on their network, AT&T's suit against Verizon terminates unexpectedly    

  GE decides to focus on making products people want, will spin off NBC    

  I've been herring that the last sardine plant in the U.S. may pack it in and are floundering over new catch restrictions. Oh Cod, say it's not true    
· · ·