first...ha

That bears repeating...Gold E. Locks arrested for breaking into house

So... I take it this is some sort of educational outing for the Girl Scouts?

If so, this is totally awesome and full of win. Makes me kinda wish I joined Mock Trial back in highschool.

/I joined the Academic Decathlon instead =(

Bullet Ridden Stop Sign: and the verdict...?

Guilty, sentenced to 100 hours in Judge's Chambers.

Yeah, it's all fun and games with the mock trials, until the cops get overzealous and taser Grandma in the neck...

woot for mock trials, mine back in school was rumpelstiltskin vs the biatch he spun gold for. and we found him guilty. not sure of what though, we were in like 5th grade XD

I've always wondered about the porridge. I mean, how long was it sitting there for one to be too hot, one to be too cold, and the other to be just right? It doesn't add up. Was the "too hot" still too hot after the consumption of the "just right" porridge?

Oh, sure, Northeastern, you can have the Girl Scouts do something nifty like this, but you can't even allow the theater department to put on a show without double booking the space this fall?



/not bitter.
//much.

Bullet Ridden Stop Sign: and the verdict...?

Not guilty by reason of sharp knees.

There's a sequel to "Goldilocks and the 3 Bears". The three bears try to get revenge and find what they think is Goldilocks house. They vandalize the shiat out of it only to find out it's the Big Bad Wolf's house and everyone learns a lesson blah blah blah.

/has 6 nieces 1 nephew and 2 kids of my own
//in before "derrrr cool story bro derp derp derp"

i spanked the jury
but i didn't spank he deputy

Gold E. Locks was found guilty after the court discovered she was not a natural blond.

Any relation to Gol D. Rodger?

...I wonder if she keeps all of her porage in one piece...

numbone: That bears repeating...

In other news, the big wolf was FRAMED!

Little Bo Peep, Animal abuse
Snow White, Prostitution
Little Mermaid, Illegal Fishing
Sleeping Beauty, Possession of Illegal substance

Bullet Ridden Stop Sign: and the verdict...?

would hit. Fist, angry God, you know the rest.

They should give her the chair.

Northeastern canceled their football program for this?

/not amused

I think we found the perfect Judge!



Hot like father bear's porridge!

Thankfully, in New Jersey, bears do not have standing to sue.

/hot

The Big Bad Wolf met his match when he tangled with the Guinea Pigs.

Pope Michael of Discordia: Any relation to Gol D. Rodger?

...I wonder if she keeps all of her porage in one piece...



Also interested in the outcome.

headstone: So the French created all the homophones in England?

I luld.

Bullet Ridden Stop Sign: and the verdict...?

I'll be in my bed.

/it's just right

Pope Michael of Discordia: Any relation to Gol D. Rodger?

...I wonder if she keeps all of her porage in one piece...



What you did there, he sees it.

Safe T. Bear...
Safety Bear.

not amused

1. The door was left open, thus raising a possible defense of collateral negligence.
2. Burglary is a crime of specific intent; did Miss Locks have the intent to commit a felony when she entered the house?
3. What is the total value of the eaten porridge, sat-upon chairs, and slept-in beds, and does that total reach the value of a felony in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts?
4. If there was only a misdemeanor amount of damage, then Miss Locks should be released with time served plus community service.

Watch out, she's a crazy biatch.

Spaz-master: first...ha

serious question, how did you get past the filter?

So I was the only idiot who thought some other idiot named their kid Gold E. Locks, and blessed with that unfortunate moniker, said kid grew up to a life of burglary? Stranger names have happened.

TheLittleLemon: So I was the only idiot who thought some other idiot named their kid Gold E. Locks, and blessed with that unfortunate moniker, said kid grew up to a life of burglary? Stranger names have happened.

No, I was disappointed, too.

The baby bear said "Someone's been sleeping in my bed"
The mother bear said "Someone's been sleeping in my bed"
The father bear said "Goodnight"

I hear she's been sleeping in Tiger's bed.

Seth'n'Spectrum: Look at that squirrel's nuts!

I'm feeling a desire to lick the bowl...

5 years ago it would have been a mock Bush Impeachment.

/I'm glad everything is perfect now.