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(Eagle Tribune) Fail Class President, straight-A student who is "rather cocky in my intelligence, and ... definitely an intellectual elitist" reveals just how colossally stupid he is   (eagletribune.com) divider line 271
More: Fail, class president, Mr. Timberlane, Timberlane Class, online books, special needs, special education, Joshua Tubbs, Joshua Peter Tubbs  
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49273 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2009 at 6:15 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



271 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-05 02:26:43 PM
This has shenanigans written all over it.
 
2009-12-05 02:34:05 PM
What's his Fark username?
 
2009-12-05 02:43:04 PM
FTFA: available through an online search yesterday"

Man, my google-fu is lacking. All I can find are articles about the book using an online search today.
 
2009-12-05 02:56:32 PM
Plaistow Deputy police Chief Kathleen Jones said she was familiar with the incident, but it had not been referred to them and was not a criminal matter.

i'm confused - why would this be considered a criminal matter at all?
 
2009-12-05 03:08:42 PM
And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.
 
2009-12-05 03:43:27 PM
Meet Us at the Stick: FTFA: available through an online search yesterday"

Man, my google-fu is lacking. All I can find are articles about the book using an online search today.


My Google-fu is usually pretty good & I'm coming up empty, as well.
 
2009-12-05 03:50:00 PM
Weaver95: Plaistow Deputy police Chief Kathleen Jones said she was familiar with the incident, but it had not been referred to them and was not a criminal matter.

i'm confused - why would this be considered a criminal matter at all?


Because whenever a high school kid says something negative about teachers or students, there are always some sort of criminal charges filed. When it's done via the internet, helicopter parents & school officials go berserk.

Whether the charges stick or not is another thing.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2009-12-05 03:50:57 PM
Plaistow Deputy police Chief Kathleen Jones said she was familiar with the incident, but it had not been referred to them and was not a criminal matter.

What kind of meeping slackers do they employ in Plaistow? Down here in Massachusetts we don't put up with students saying things.
 
2009-12-05 03:53:59 PM
If it's fake, someone REALLY hates this guy.

If it's real, he is a moron with a death wish.
 
2009-12-05 04:13:00 PM
FTA: When he gets to Joshua Tubbs, he writes, "No explanation needed, I am just the best thing since canned bread."

*snort*
 
2009-12-05 04:27:33 PM
InspectorZero: And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.

The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

His safety's Harvard.
 
2009-12-05 04:35:20 PM
"I am rather cocky in my intelligence, and I am definitely an intellectual elitist so if the stupider children would like to leave, that would be fine by me,"

There are so many things hilariously wrong with that sentence. The fact that it is a single sentence being one of them.
 
2009-12-05 04:45:02 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: InspectorZero: And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.

The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

His safety's Harvard.


Sure, send him to Sorbonne. A semester there should slap his inflated sense of self-worth down to normal levels... or it'll turn him into a whining victim of anti-American prejudice
 
2009-12-05 04:48:30 PM
Chariset: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: InspectorZero: And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.

The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

His safety's Harvard.

Sure, send him to Sorbonne. A semester there should slap his inflated sense of self-worth down to normal levels... or it'll turn him into a whining victim of anti-American prejudice


Or he could study mathmatics, could have be a don. program a computer, choose the perfect time....
 
2009-12-05 05:05:19 PM
LOL, how is this different than trolling on fark? He basically trolled his school. Granted, he did it to the extreme, and we all know how well trolls work out in real life, meep, but for everyone to be out to crucify him, seriously, they need to get a life just as much as he does. Reading the comments on that article is like stabbing myself in the eye with an ice pick. STFU and get over yourselves, kids. It ain't the end of the world.
 
2009-12-05 06:18:11 PM
The douche is strong with this one...
 
2009-12-05 06:20:07 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: InspectorZero: And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.

The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

His safety's Harvard.


I'll bet he really likes aquariums too.

I'm on to you TMLO.
 
2009-12-05 06:20:57 PM
Well it depends, does he have issues with special needs because they cost 3-4 times the amount of normal students and produce nothing by never having a job? If he is attacking their personalities then he is wrong the most happy people I have met are special needs.
 
2009-12-05 06:21:26 PM
No, so not fail.
Did you read the line that said the school board hasn't pressed charges yet? That's amazing, perhaps there is still hope for the world yet.
 
2009-12-05 06:22:04 PM
Troggie42: LOL, how is this different than trolling on fark? He basically trolled his school. Granted, he did it to the extreme, and we all know how well trolls work out in real life, meep, but for everyone to be out to crucify him, seriously, they need to get a life just as much as he does. Reading the comments on that article is like stabbing myself in the eye with an ice pick. STFU and get over yourselves, kids. It ain't the end of the world.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't actually him but someone using his name as an alt.

See real life can be described in Fark terms.
 
2009-12-05 06:23:14 PM
baka-san: If it's fake, someone REALLY hates this guy.

If it's real, he is a moron with a death wish.



Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: InspectorZero: And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.

The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

His safety's Harvard.


I'm guessing it's the former.
 
2009-12-05 06:23:22 PM
I like his moxie.
 
2009-12-05 06:24:30 PM
Open letter from the Principal PDF (new window)

Can not find the "online book".
 
2009-12-05 06:24:32 PM
Troggie42: STFU and get over yourselves, kids. It ain't the end of the world.

You haven't had much experience with teenagers, have you?
 
2009-12-05 06:24:47 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

I know you're riffing on Rushmore, but it reminded me of one of the Sorbonne's famous alums:

"The public has made me the godfather of cannibalism, and I am happy about that. I will always look at the world through the eyes of a cannibal."
- Issei Sagawa

Such is the case of Issei Sagawa, the self proclaimed "Godfather of Cannibals". While studying at France's illustrious Sorbonne, Sagawa became enamored of a fellow student, a petite beauty named Renee Hartevelt. Sagawa invited Hartevelt up to his apartment to read some poetry, and over the course of the evening, Sagawa decided that his desire for Hartevelt went far beyond mere sexual attraction. As she sat on his bed, reading from the book of German poetry, Sagawa realized that what he truly desired was to eat her...
 
2009-12-05 06:26:17 PM
SoothinglyDeranged: "I am rather cocky in my intelligence, and I am definitely an intellectual elitist so if the stupider children would like to leave, that would be fine by me,"

There are so many things hilariously wrong with that sentence. The fact that it is a single sentence being one of them.


No kidding. I did some google-fu but couldn't find the book. If the above "sentence" is typical of Tubbs' writing, however, then this kid is calling down some serious fire on himself when he targets "the stupider children."
 
2009-12-05 06:26:52 PM
"The best thing since canned bread"?
 
2009-12-05 06:27:11 PM
Did he accuse his math teacher of dealing drugs?

/was funnier in the movie "Mean Girls"
 
2009-12-05 06:27:43 PM
reeks of fakeness.

someone didn't like richie mcsmartypants, wrote a "scathing" book under his name, and bagged on a lot of other people they didn't like in the process.

many birds, one stone.
 
2009-12-05 06:28:22 PM
"I am rather cocky in my intelligence, and I am definitely an intellectual elitist so if the stupider children would like to leave, that would be fine by me,"

Read that in your best Received Pronunciation* accent.

*that's "snooty British accent" to you Yanks
 
2009-12-05 06:28:48 PM
My read on this is that he wrote it for NaNoWriMo because he thought it was funny, and someone got hold of it and put it up online.

For a writing assessment my senior year, we had to nominate someone for TIME's Person of the Year. I nominated God in what I thought was a hilarious Onion-style piece, got it back with a 9.5 (near-PhD level) rating and comments about the depth of my faith.

High school kids don't take shiat seriously. Adults sometimes forget that.
 
2009-12-05 06:29:31 PM
My read on this is that he wrote it for NaNoWriMo because he thought it was funny, and someone got hold of it and put it up online.

For a writing assessment my senior year, we had to nominate someone for TIME's Person of the Year. I nominated God in what I thought was a hilarious Onion-style piece, got it back with a 9.5 (near-PhD level writing) rating and comments about the depth of my faith.

High school kids don't take shiat seriously. Adults sometimes forget that.
 
2009-12-05 06:29:45 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: InspectorZero: And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.

The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

His safety's Harvard.


There's always barber college.
 
2009-12-05 06:30:01 PM
inkblot: "I am rather cocky in my intelligence, and I am definitely an intellectual elitist so if the stupider children would like to leave, that would be fine by me,"

Read that in your best Received Pronunciation* accent.

*that's "snooty British accent" to you Yanks


bookpeopleblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-05 06:30:06 PM
Chariset: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: InspectorZero: And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.

The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

His safety's Harvard.

Sure, send him to Sorbonne. A semester there should slap his inflated sense of self-worth down to normal levels... or it'll turn him into a whining victim of anti-American prejudice


A DB like this is exactly why anti-American prejudice exists. Don't even give him a passport.
 
2009-12-05 06:30:07 PM
ARGH screw you latency.
 
2009-12-05 06:30:18 PM
Link (new window)

Essay found
 
2009-12-05 06:31:21 PM
Didn't this sort of happen in Mean Girls.

In the end of the movie, the lead Mean Girl wrote something about herself in book compromised of negative thoughts and information about people. Then she turned it in and attributed it to Lohans character.

People don't usually go full retard overnight, but maybe this kid just wanted to go out with a bang.
 
2009-12-05 06:31:23 PM
Well, most highschoolers harbor distaste for other students. That's why there are cliques...

But fark, man, writing a 70 page book ripping on people, get a self-esteem!
 
2009-12-05 06:32:24 PM
FTFB:Also, a good portion is made up exaggerations that make this novel more interesting to think of.

Exactly.
 
2009-12-05 06:32:34 PM
SoothinglyDeranged: "I am rather cocky in my intelligence, and I am definitely an intellectual elitist so if the stupider children would like to leave, that would be fine by me,"

There are so many things hilariously wrong with that sentence. The fact that it is a single sentence being one of them.


There is actually nothing wrong with that sentence. I'm not sure why you think there is, or why you think it needs to be two sentences. Apparently you've never heard of independent and dependent clauses. The only thing I would tack into the sentence would be a comma after "elitist."
 
2009-12-05 06:32:52 PM
dolphinburger: reeks of fakeness.

someone didn't like richie mcsmartypants, wrote a "scathing" book under his name, and bagged on a lot of other people they didn't like in the process.

many birds, one stone.



Came here to say this. Well put.
 
2009-12-05 06:34:26 PM
ignite ice: SoothinglyDeranged: "I am rather cocky in my intelligence, and I am definitely an intellectual elitist so if the stupider children would like to leave, that would be fine by me,"

There are so many things hilariously wrong with that sentence. The fact that it is a single sentence being one of them.

There is actually nothing wrong with that sentence. I'm not sure why you think there is, or why you think it needs to be two sentences. Apparently you've never heard of independent and dependent clauses. The only thing I would tack into the sentence would be a comma after "elitist."


Yes. And replace last comma with a period.
 
2009-12-05 06:35:55 PM
Its already been done.

profile.ak.facebook.com

/i'd hit it.
//all of em
///pre-cracked out lindsay
 
2009-12-05 06:37:05 PM
Weaver95: Chariset: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: InspectorZero: And yet I am sure Berkeley or Stanford or USC will still want this douche.

The top schools where he wants to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne.

His safety's Harvard.

Sure, send him to Sorbonne. A semester there should slap his inflated sense of self-worth down to normal levels... or it'll turn him into a whining victim of anti-American prejudice

Or he could study mathmatics, could have be a don. program a computer, choose the perfect time....


If you've got the inclination, he's got the crime.
 
2009-12-05 06:37:39 PM
So he had a slam book? Is he a 14 year old girl?
 
2009-12-05 06:38:51 PM
No way this kid was the one that wrote it. Hard to believe someone be stupid enough to post the stuff under their own name and say those things about themselves. Had to be someone else at the school, probably someone unpopular and perceives himself as being picked on and unliked by other students, and thought it'd be a great idea to pin it on someone else, hoping people would bite. Looks like that's be the case so far.
 
2009-12-05 06:38:54 PM
FTFE:
Gabby Zarba: Bwitch/ Trying to be stupid. 1. Cool. She has weird lips and has probably done strange things to them. She is very judgmental about people because they do not smoke as many drugs as her or gets as many guys as her. She loves to be as stupid as she does because that is how she connects with her group of equally stupid girls trying to be stupid.

Most if it is like this... I'm not really impressed

/weird lips
// has probably done strange things with them
/// having a seat over there
 
2009-12-05 06:39:35 PM
HAHA I know the principal well (wrestled with his 2 sons for years). He will demolish this kid
 
2009-12-05 06:39:37 PM
Annnnnnndd here's the book: http://docs.google.com/View?id=dtp7ktb_8c75fj9m3
 
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