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 (Some Guy) Happy National Ninja Day 92 More: Cool, ninjas, Kyoto
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4330 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2009 at 1:10 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:    more»

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Ninjas are lame pajama wearers. Pirates have wenches and treasure and grog. They even get parrots as their buddies. Pirates are a million times better than stupid ninjas.

Obligatory, but this thread would be useless without her -

So when is talk like a ninja day? Well? Let's hear it. C'mon. Cat got your tongue? Answer me. ANSWER ME!

There are 4 ninjas hidden in this post.

Pirates have the booty.

Ninja day? Did not see that one coming!

strangeguitar: There are 4 ninjas hidden in this post.

I'm not so good at hiding

Where's gorgor with his hot ninja girl links?

!

Heres a picture of me celebrating in my extravagant ninja suit-

.

Vikings are more awesome.

time for the annual parade

Got-damn ninjas. I know they been prowlin' around my chicken coop at night. I seen some ninja-scat over by the shed and my dog barks at shadows. Git on, already! Git! Stupid ninjas! It's this recession, everyone is too poor to hire assassins anymore, and now my farm is overrun with these stinkin' ninj - I said GIT! pesky varmints.

/obligatory
// I lol'd uncontrollably

ElFugawz: time for the annual parade

damn you

cabritosaurio: ElFugawz: time for the annual parade

damn you

I am a Pirate and I do not approve.

RIP

I guess Ninja Scroll would be high on the list of "must watch" on Ninja Day.

I hate that farking ninja poster. I can only find 2 of them

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County) OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop. This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man. My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low$12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash. To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants. Rock on. The Angry Hand of God: NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra -$12900 (Ronan / Lake County)

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me$5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

that is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

\ninja post\

\end ninja post\

/and I mean that with all the best for my ninja brothers and sisters

Meh. Ninjas do not impress me. They are ambushers. In a stand up fight, they would ALWAYS run away. Even their most well-known tool, the throwing star, was merely a device used to slow down anyone chasing them. They're the historical equivalent of the local sissy that throws a punch at the back of your head, then runs.

Pirates? Not much better. But still better. At least they had the grapes to attack people and take stuff. The whole dress-the-most-girly-lookin-guy-as-the-chick kills the deal, though.

Vikings, now, are where it's at. Grab a shoddy boat, sneak up a river at night, then sack an english town. Grab all the loot, burn the church, and take their women home with you. All the pluses in one nice package.

Pirates and Ninjas have absolutely nothing on Vikings.

I can't find this holiday on my calendar.

Mustaf Herod Upyur Poupr: Meh. Ninjas do not impress me. They are ambushers. In a stand up fight, they would ALWAYS run away. Even their most well-known tool, the throwing star, was merely a device used to slow down anyone chasing them. They're the historical equivalent of the local sissy that throws a punch at the back of your head, then runs.

Pirates? Not much better. But still better. At least they had the grapes to attack people and take stuff. The whole dress-the-most-girly-lookin-guy-as-the-chick kills the deal, though.

Vikings, now, are where it's at. Grab a shoddy boat, sneak up a river at night, then sack an english town. Grab all the loot, burn the church, and take their women home with you. All the pluses in one nice package.

Pirates and Ninjas have absolutely nothing on Vikings.

Scroll up to the wonderful Demotivator i posted.

Mustaf Herod Upyur Poupr [TotalFark] Quote 2009-12-05 01:39:01 PM
Meh. Ninjas do not impress me. They are ambushers. In a stand up fight, they would ALWAYS run away. Even their most well-known tool, the throwing star, was merely a device used to slow down anyone chasing them. They're the historical equivalent of the local sissy that throws a punch at the back of your head, then runs.

Pirates? Not much better. But still better. At least they had the grapes to attack people and take stuff. The whole dress-the-most-girly-lookin-guy-as-the-chick kills the deal, though.

Vikings, now, are where it's at. Grab a shoddy boat, sneak up a river at night, then sack an english town. Grab all the loot, burn the church, and take their women home with you. All the pluses in one nice package.

Pirates and Ninjas have absolutely nothing on Vikings.

who says it has to be a fair fight? its not like itx boxing when its a deathmatch, you use what tools and skills you have to kill the other and ninjas just happen to be more resourceful than pirates or vikings

How come knights never come up in these discussions? They had great big fark-all swords, wore 100s of pounds of metal farking armor. They rode awesome fark-all big horses, and put more farking armor on the horses. A ninja couldn't hack through that shiat. A pirate would get on his boat and run for it, and the reason the Vikings attacked at night? Couldn't risk running into a knight. I'm throwing the bad boys of dark ages Europe into the fray here.

Vikings are a type of pirate.

Lampmonster: How come knights never come up in these discussions? They had great big fark-all swords, wore 100s of pounds of metal farking armor. They rode awesome fark-all big horses, and put more farking armor on the horses. A ninja couldn't hack through that shiat. A pirate would get on his boat and run for it, and the reason the Vikings attacked at night? Couldn't risk running into a knight. I'm throwing the bad boys of dark ages Europe into the fray here.

They also shiat and pissed themselves rather than get out of their armor.

The Angry Hand of God: NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - \$12900 (Ronan / Lake County)

snip

That was a work of art!

A ++++

Would read it again!

Aeonite: Vikings are a type of pirate.

No, Vikings are manly, and have a religion, and kick ass.

Pirates are just social outcasts.

Lampmonster [TotalFark] Quote 2009-12-05 01:44:14 PM
How come knights never come up in these discussions? They had great big fark-all swords, wore 100s of pounds of metal farking armor. They rode awesome fark-all big horses, and put more farking armor on the horses. A ninja couldn't hack through that shiat. A pirate would get on his boat and run for it, and the reason the Vikings attacked at night? Couldn't risk running into a knight. I'm throwing the bad boys of dark ages Europe into the fray here.

who says they will use a blade? pirates vikings ninjas whoever can use a blunt spiked club and whack em in the head with little effort since they are in 100 pounds of armor and cant move quickly

Capo Del Bandito: Lampmonster: How come knights never come up in these discussions? They had great big fark-all swords, wore 100s of pounds of metal farking armor. They rode awesome fark-all big horses, and put more farking armor on the horses. A ninja couldn't hack through that shiat. A pirate would get on his boat and run for it, and the reason the Vikings attacked at night? Couldn't risk running into a knight. I'm throwing the bad boys of dark ages Europe into the fray here.

They also shiat and pissed themselves rather than get out of their armor.

A very manly solution to the problem I think. mraythor83: Lampmonster [TotalFark] Quote 2009-12-05 01:44:14 PM
How come knights never come up in these discussions? They had great big fark-all swords, wore 100s of pounds of metal farking armor. They rode awesome fark-all big horses, and put more farking armor on the horses. A ninja couldn't hack through that shiat. A pirate would get on his boat and run for it, and the reason the Vikings attacked at night? Couldn't risk running into a knight. I'm throwing the bad boys of dark ages Europe into the fray here.

who says they will use a blade? pirates vikings ninjas whoever can use a blunt spiked club and whack em in the head with little effort since they are in 100 pounds of armor and cant move quickly

They wouldn't get the chance. The knight would ride them down on his awesome armored horse.

Ninja Teachin Flix

/This Is Not A Game !!

Vikings:
* boats
* swords
* steal wenches
* drink a lot
* no manners

Who else does that describe let me see could it be PIRATES?

Vikings are a type of pirate.

Lampmonster: How come knights never come up in these discussions?

Because the knights are gone, while the ninjas remain.

/silent
//stealthy
///cloaked in darkness, shadow, and rapid spinning death

GhostWing: Lampmonster: How come knights never come up in these discussions?

Because the knights are gone, while the ninjas remain.

/silent
//stealthy
///cloaked in darkness, shadow, and rapid spinning death

Well then they've had hundreds of years and have never so much have conquered a country. Knights ruled most of the known world while they had there day and then they just evolved to keep up with the times. They now drive tanks and shiat.

All this talk about ninja, pirates, vikings, knights...when the real badasses haven't even been covered yet:

lepers

Yeah, you heard me. Lepers. NOONE is gonna fark with a leper! And they get money handed to them by total strangers! And even cooler - if they want a piece of ass, all they have to do is wait til one drops off behind them as they walk.

Yeah, muthafarkahs!!!

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