'I couldn't afford to waste £50 so I dried out the hamper and scrubbed off the mud, then unpacked the contents and repacked everything, replacing the damaged item. I was very unhappy giving it to my mum.'

She was probably with the shiat you farkin brought her anway. Get a real job you looser

So just put it all do. I'm just about a home growth out. You finally got home and it's ready, so I'm going over there but figure out. Yeah hang out there for the New York and I guess to head over there around. Twelveish yet and give me a while because finally finished returning to stop yet stated that I got pulled into the capital of the thank you, Lou Bain I expected. Talk to Jerry. The never do this is like file that's everywhere. Like a little pat and see if you can get a minute. That's pretty have the it 2 3 M take that she through there in the house at the, for, crudely all the chance. That's all filed out the my god so I could with. I have to buy crucified, so I could leave but any case, and I'm on my way to pick up, so if if that's acceptable to but we are gonna get sort, probably at least so before that. I'll talk to you as well.

bob_ross

Is that Uncommon Valor?

FlippityFlap: So just put it all do. I'm just about a home growth out. You finally got home and it's ready, so I'm going over there but figure out. Yeah hang out there for the New York and I guess to head over there around. Twelveish yet and give me a while because finally finished returning to stop yet stated that I got pulled into the capital of the thank you, Lou Bain I expected. Talk to Jerry. The never do this is like file that's everywhere. Like a little pat and see if you can get a minute. That's pretty have the it 2 3 M take that she through there in the house at the, for, crudely all the chance. That's all filed out the my god so I could with. I have to buy crucified, so I could leave but any case, and I'm on my way to pick up, so if if that's acceptable to but we are gonna get sort, probably at least so before that. I'll talk to you as well.

I could not have said that any better

FlippityFlap: So just put it all do. I'm just about a home growth out. You finally got home and it's ready, so I'm going over there but figure out. Yeah hang out there for the New York and I guess to head over there around. Twelveish yet and give me a while because finally finished returning to stop yet stated that I got pulled into the capital of the thank you, Lou Bain I expected. Talk to Jerry. The never do this is like file that's everywhere. Like a little pat and see if you can get a minute. That's pretty have the it 2 3 M take that she through there in the house at the, for, crudely all the chance. That's all filed out the my god so I could with. I have to buy crucified, so I could leave but any case, and I'm on my way to pick up, so if if that's acceptable to but we are gonna get sort, probably at least so before that. I'll talk to you as well.

The wharrgarbl is strong in this one

Tell me about it. I had two text books I ordered this fall destroyed because Cliff Clavin dumped them in front of the house in the rain and couldn't be bothered to put 'em between the doors two feet away. Then it's my responsibility to go through the hassle of insurance and replacement. The mail carrier isn't culpable at all (so the Post Office said).

At least UPS puts a plastic bag over stuff if the weather is bad.

bob_ross: Handicapped: Is that Uncommon Valor?

Ace Ventura

I can't find a picture of him getting murdered by Larry Holmes. That guy could sure take a punch.

I Recently ordered some laptop memory for myself and a new laptop for my mother (completely separate transactions with completely separate companies).

Both companies double-shipped. I ended up with two brand new laptops and twice the RAM I ordered, but I was only billed once by each company.

\providence, says I

It wasn't the postal service. It was a private delivery company.

flaming99: FlippityFlap: So just put it all do. I'm just about a home growth out. You finally got home and it's ready, so I'm going over there but figure out. Yeah hang out there for the New York and I guess to head over there around. Twelveish yet and give me a while because finally finished returning to stop yet stated that I got pulled into the capital of the thank you, Lou Bain I expected. Talk to Jerry. The never do this is like file that's everywhere. Like a little pat and see if you can get a minute. That's pretty have the it 2 3 M take that she through there in the house at the, for, crudely all the chance. That's all filed out the my god so I could with. I have to buy crucified, so I could leave but any case, and I'm on my way to pick up, so if if that's acceptable to but we are gonna get sort, probably at least so before that. I'll talk to you as well.

The wharrgarbl is strong in this one

Wharrgarbl normally is composed of comprehensive sentences that make no sense in context. These are just random words and parts of phrases strung together. It's pure Garbl.

Also, while Amazon.com orders may sometimes be mis-delivered by UPS, Amazon ALWAYS replaces them no-questions-asked. I have had it happen twice in 4 years and they overnighted the replacement order both times with very little hassle. On both occasions I received the first shipment at a later date as well.

I can't have been the only one who read the article's use of "hamper" as "hamster."

/was incredibly confused
//screw decaf

FlippityFlap 2009-12-05 06:54:20 AM

So just put it all do. I'm just about a home growth out. You finally got home and it's ready, so I'm going over there but figure out. Yeah hang out there for the New York and I guess to head over there around. Twelveish yet and give me a while because finally finished returning to stop yet stated that I got pulled into the capital of the thank you, Lou Bain I expected. Talk to Jerry. The never do this is like file that's everywhere. Like a little pat and see if you can get a minute. That's pretty have the it 2 3 M take that she through there in the house at the, for, crudely all the chance. That's all filed out the my god so I could with. I have to buy crucified, so I could leave but any case, and I'm on my way to pick up, so if if that's acceptable to but we are gonna get sort, probably at least so before that. I'll talk to you as well.

I truly wish I had said this.

Don't wake me; I plan on sleeping.

Back in the dark ages, before the internet, I worked for a company that built and shipped computers to businesses. This was back in the day when a HUGE hard drive was 20 megabytes, and weighed 50 pounds. UPS would constantly find new and amazing ways to smash $10,000+ micro computers. By the time I started working for them, they had finally given up on cardboard and foam, and had people to build custom wooden crates for each shipment.

/old, off lawn, etc.
//geeks don't get old, we just get incontinent... wait

Remember, Subby, on that side of the pond they post their packages at the mail office, while here we mail our packages at the post office. We both park in the driveway and drive on the parkway, however.

slugbug120: Tell me about it. I had two text books I ordered this fall destroyed because Cliff Clavin dumped them in front of the house in the rain and couldn't be bothered to put 'em between the doors two feet away. Then it's my responsibility to go through the hassle of insurance and replacement. The mail carrier isn't culpable at all (so the Post Office said).

At least UPS puts a plastic bag over stuff if the weather is bad.

Really? Funny, my UPS driver doesn't do that... and yet my USPS guy is great... Maybe it's the person?

/Lesson for the day: Either get a PO Box, a better mailbox, or post a sign stating where to put it.
//Fed-ex is much worse.

People_are_Idiots: slugbug120: Tell me about it. I had two text books I ordered this fall destroyed because Cliff Clavin dumped them in front of the house in the rain and couldn't be bothered to put 'em between the doors two feet away. Then it's my responsibility to go through the hassle of insurance and replacement. The mail carrier isn't culpable at all (so the Post Office said).

At least UPS puts a plastic bag over stuff if the weather is bad.

Really? Funny, my UPS driver doesn't do that... and yet my USPS guy is great... Maybe it's the person?

/Lesson for the day: Either get a PO Box, a better mailbox, or post a sign stating where to put it.
//Fed-ex is much worse.

With the way mail service is here, my sign telling the carrier "where to put it" probably wouldn't help.

flaming99: I Recently ordered some laptop memory for myself and a new laptop for my mother (completely separate transactions with completely separate companies).

Both companies double-shipped. I ended up with two brand new laptops and twice the RAM I ordered, but I was only billed once by each company.

\providence, says I

oh yeah? top this! I ordered one weather proof cover for a wood pile and instead I got SIX!! Who's cooler now?!


/But SRSLY: Actually ended up using about 4 of them because I bought 3 more metal log racks

That's why God made insurance.

People_are_Idiots: Really? Funny, my UPS driver doesn't do that... and yet my USPS guy is great... Maybe it's the person?

Your hysterically appropriate login name aside, absolutely this.

It's only around December when UPS/FEDEX staff up for the holiday rush do I have the (not so bad) problem of mis-reported delivery days to improve their quotas (says it was delivered on Friday, but the box doesn't show up until Saturday) or the much worse Says it was delivered and no box there. I live at the tail end of a dead end, 400 feet from the street. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY walks by my house (not even for halloween! :( ) Nobody stole it. If you dropped off the box, it's there. If it's not there, YOU GOT THE WRONG HOUSE.

consciousNOT: That's why God made insurance.

and Credit Card companies with a vise-grip so strong it even makes companies like Intuit stand up and take notice.


/I think it was form 8283 for non-cash charitable donations

Is anyone else annoyed that the Daily Mail couldn't be bothered to actually purchase their stock art? I bet they're gonna get a fun email later.

/It's an annoying part of my job to make sure that we actually own our images and can use them for specific projects

AgnosticAngles:
She was probably with the shiat you farkin brought her anway. Get a real job you looserfark you, moran - and it's "LOSER", you thick cretin. Look it up in a dictionary - your photograph will be there.

Aaaaagh! HTML fail.

I'm the moran.

It's a write-off for them. (new window)

Actually your holiday shopping is simple. Buy lots of stuff that ships through UPS and send it Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire. Don't know anybody there? Google some random residents, I'm sure they'd love to get gifts from you. Land's End is good, they pack their trucks nicely. Not that I have a vested interest or anything.

This postal worker has seen a lot of stuff packed in farked up ways. An antique teacup in a pop tart box with a few paper towels and no insurance is one that comes to mind. Writing "fragil" on a package does not give the container any special powers (no, it did not come from someone with a Spanish name or from a place where that language is used by the majority of inhabitants). Pack the thing in a sturdy container. Bubble wrap is good. Duct tape is not recommended for sealing packages. If the item is valuable, please consider insurance. FedEx is a major contractor for the USPS. They are not kind to packages. Packing is not difficult. And put clear tape over the address. If the address is not readable don't expect the item to be delivered. I use the USPS for shipping things. They also get to their destination without any problems.

My mail carrier is great and he'll take any packages around to the back door where they're less obvious. He also gave me two almost new tires last winter. Put them on for me, too.

So the Daily Fail has got a script that phones home when you mark text.

cryinoutloud: My mail carrier is great and he'll take any packages around to the back door where they're less obvious. He also gave me two almost new tires last winter. Put them on for me, too.

He's trying to nail you

It's a war out there~~

This is what'll happens when we socialize the postal service people!!!!!

/stupid, blind obamatons

A few months ago I ordered some big stuff online. UPS tried a quick knock on the door and bail. I got to the door just as he was trying to stick a note on there saying he would be back tomorrow. Turns out he didn't even brink the package with him so he had to go back to the truck to get it. Best part is I live on the third floor and it was July in Texas. Serves him right.

I don't know what's wrong with the UK, but I've never received even a very slightly damaged package from UPS, USPS, or FedEx. Maybe I'm just lucky.

Kwisatzhaderach: He's trying to nail you

*Shakes tiny fist*

Beat me to it!

bob_ross 2009-12-05 07:01:12 AM Handicapped: Is that Uncommon Valor? Ace Ventura
============================================

Opening scene of the movie. Jim Carrey kicks the box repeatedly down the hallway before giving it to the guy.

+1 to Handicapped for the reference :)

Hrm. Bob_ross was the one with the reference.

Remove +1 from handicapped, +1 instead to bob_ross.

/Confused myself with how I quoted you :(

Daily Mail = 50% credibility rate.

You guys do know that the DM is noted for paying people to basically be models and get quoted in stories, and then attributing fake names to them, and hanging their photo on fictional tales of failed services and nanny state nightmares, don't you?

Yes, I realize the UPS guy and the postal workers are supposed to wait patiently for you to shut down the porn, wipe off the lube, put away the tissues, and lumber to the slowly to the door, and that they're expected to do that for every one of the thousand or so houses they deliver to that day.

Ordering something expensive or otherwise shouldn't be sitting on your doorstep while you're at work? Have it delivered to you at work. FedEx and UPS drivers take a lot better care of packages on their business routes and they get delivered earlier in the day.

Also pay close attention to the tracking website. If it says "exception" anywhere in the delivery process, expect it to be in pieces with a lot of extra tape when you get it.

I will say, I love Canada Post. I live in an apartment building and they will wait in the lobby long enough for me to put my pants on, hike the 5 floors down, and pick up the package. Public mail works.

schief2: spuds002: A few months ago I ordered some big stuff online. UPS tried a quick knock on the door and bail. I got to the door just as he was trying to stick a note on there saying he would be back tomorrow. Turns out he didn't even brink the package with him so he had to go back to the truck to get it.

Replace "UPS" with "USPS" and say hello to my world. I work odd hours and am generally home during the day with the car in the driveway. Yet AT LEAST 70% of the time when I have a parcel that needs to be signed for, the mailman just shoves a "sorry we missed you!" note in with the rest of the mail w/o even bothering to knock. Which means a 20-minute trip each way to the local sorting facility to pick it up from the counter, which gets old fast.

Like you, one time I caught him while he was still scuttling up the other side of the street delivering mail. He said the package was still back in the truck two blocks away, basically admitting he'd never even tried to deliver it in the first place. Asswipe.

Do what I do. I talked to my carrier and he gave me a stack of those signature slips. I track all my packages so I know when they will be delivered pretty accurately. I have one of those slips pre-signed and stuck on my front door on the days I expect a delivery. I might leave more than one if I'm expecting multiple deliveries throughout the day. I have never had to go to the post office to pick up a package for months now. Every once in a while he'll give me another stack of those slips to make sure I'm supplied.

ZombieBear: I will say, I love Canada Post. I live in an apartment building and they will wait in the lobby long enough for me to put my pants on, hike the 5 floors down, and pick up the package. Public mail works.

I would guess that's less of a public/private thing - as people have said, USPS has its share of asshats - and more of a Canada/you have a nice mailman thing.