Nothing for me today, thanks.

"I bet she wears underwear with d*** holes"

Should have opted for the face-lift, not the shop-lift...

I blame Bush & this crappy economy

So she just kept walking in and out of the store, carrying bags of stuff each time she left? And how many times did she do this before someone stopped her?

wtf???

">
What Kiera Knightley might look like

Baaaaaad subby...Rosie O'Donnell actually looks better.

/off to poke eyes with lit road flares

I'm not convinced. Please show us more of what Keira Knightley might look like.

I've been caught stealin'. Once. When I was five.

yeah sioux falls we finally made fark for soemthing other than cronic masturbators!

Do not say anything bad about Iowa, I know where you live. All of you.

GOB:
What Kiera Knightley might look like


What Rosie O'Donnell might look like.

Sass-O-Rev: So she just kept walking in and out of the store, carrying bags of stuff each time she left? And how many times did she do this before someone stopped her?

wtf???

exactly what i was thinking.

GOB: ">
What Kiera Knightley might look like

It's not a shop, but that lifted something...

sxacho: I've been caught stealin'. Once. When I was five.

Thank you.

My favorite retail theft story occured in a store with pretty buff security. They had a security tape of this lady concealing a 12" TV. When security got her at the entrance they couldn't find it, so they had her walk up the stairs to the security office.

They noted she walked very slowly up the stairs wearing some sort of mumu.

After climbing the stairs they found the TV between her thighs.

I'd hit it like Tiger Woods.

eastiowa: Do not say anything bad about Iowa, I know where you live. All of you.

Idiots Out Wandering Around...

/ducks and covers....

HA HA HA That headline was HILARIOUS

/on opposite day
//shrimp

Sass-O-Rev: So she just kept walking in and out of the store, carrying bags of stuff each time she left? And how many times did she do this before someone stopped her?

wtf???

My question exactly when I RTFA. Somebody's gettin' canned over this.

akya:

After climbing the stairs they found the TV between her thighs.

And what kind of reception did that get her?

418 items? If she stole a bong and a roach clip as well she'd be stealing 420 items.

HumbleGenius: akya:

After climbing the stairs they found the TV between her thighs.

And what kind of reception did that get her?

Not good. They were able to prosecute her after going through the proper channels.

Came for Keira pictures. Left fairly satisfied.

What she THOUGHT knightley looked like~~

akya: HumbleGenius: akya:

After climbing the stairs they found the TV between her thighs.

And what kind of reception did that get her?

Not good. They were able to prosecute her after going through the proper channels.

I'm sure they'll screen their customers more carefully in the future.

OLD FARTK: What she THOUGHT knightley looked like~~

At least her knees aren't sharp.

ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark] Quote 2009-12-04 03:39:44 PM
"I could steal a 16-pound turkey wearing nothing but Daisy Dukes and a tube-top."

You could freeze you ovaries doing that.

My cucumber. It's bigger.

cryinoutloud: Goldeneye007: Sass-O-Rev: So she just kept walking in and out of the store, carrying bags of stuff each time she left? And how many times did she do this before someone stopped her?
wtf???

exactly what i was thinking.

Sometimes sheer brazenness can shut people up for quite a while.



(That's Winona Ryder.)

My brother told me that the secret to getting away with taking something that obviously doesn't belong to you is to just look like you're supposed to be taking it. I'm not quite sure what that means, but I get the feeling this lady does. She just got greedy.

Keira reminds me of one of those armless Greek beauty statues. Except ya know, with the arms and stuff.

Is that what they call a classic beauty?

EdNortonsTwin: Keira reminds me of one of those armless Greek beauty statues. Except ya know, with the arms and stuff.

Is that what they call a classic beauty?

Not on Fark.

/I would drown every single one of you for 5 minutes of sexy time with Ms. Knightley.

What Rosie O'Donnell might also look like.

only in America the "greatest coontry on earth"

here in america, if you shoplift, you are a criminal.


if wall street bankers steal Billions, no one says much.


in america, crime is legal if you do it right.

and that is why america, in the long haul, probably won't make it.

I'm sure it's just temporary kleptomania.

Right?

I would just like to say that I would completely wreck Keira Knightley if I were given the chance (which seems unlikely at this point).

SERIOUSLY? THIS headline gets approved? Wow. It really IS 17 yr old fat guys living in their mom's basement.

HumbleGenius: akya: HumbleGenius: akya:

After climbing the stairs they found the TV between her thighs.

And what kind of reception did that get her?

Not good. They were able to prosecute her after going through the proper channels.

I'm sure they'll screen their customers more carefully in the future.

Still, they'll catch a bunch of static.

"A black man'll drop-kick Keira Knightley to get to Rosie O'Donnell" -Chris Rock

studebaker hoch



I'd hit it!