FARK.com: (4823001) Britain's military pulls the plug on a UFO reporting hotline because it thinks the money would be better spent in Afghanistan. "There is no defense value in investigating UFO reports."

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		Britain's military pulls the plug on a UFO reporting hotline because it thinks the money would be better spent in Afghanistan. "There is no defense value in investigating UFO reports." (hosted.ap.org)		80
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aden_nak

2009-12-04 11:34:01 AM

Unavailable For Comment

oldebayer

2009-12-04 11:35:34 AM

Several hundred movies and tv shows, and thousands of books would indicate otherwise.

Shostie

2009-12-04 11:35:36 AM

oldfarthenry

2009-12-04 11:39:52 AM

They actually believe finding UFOs is LESS plausible than stabilizing Afghanistan?

No YOU'RE a Towel

2009-12-04 11:43:47 AM

That's just what THEY want, you FOOLS!

Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Adjective Bird Whiskey

2009-12-04 11:45:43 AM

Now they strike.

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich

2009-12-04 11:52:44 AM

oldfarthenry: They actually believe finding UFOs is LESS plausible than stabilizing Afghanistan?

Lets see, a country in which the central government controls 20%, the Taliban control 15%, and the balance is left to warlords. The central government has a long history of corruption, and Karzai himself has had several cabinet members flee after been accused of corruption, has stolen an election himself, has several more cabinet members under investigation currently, and hires people pretty much solely based on nepotism. Karzai works with an army that is almost entirely illiterate and untrained, and is filled with deep ethnic divides.

Weigh this against the possibility that in one of the billions of planets in one of the billions of galaxies, someone develops the technology to drop by and say "hello."

I know which side I'm on.

Bauer

2009-12-04 11:55:54 AM

all this means is...they haven't a clue what to do about 'them'.

-how can you kill what you can't catch?

personally...i cannot wait until all of the collective heads asplode when it becomes common knowledge that we are the new kids on the block.

they have always been here, probably trying to guide us.

what a joke we are.
self deluded children...with guns.

-lots of guns.

no 'world peace'..or 'universal healthcare', however.

people could watch "the day the earth stood still", a million times, and still be retarded.

personally...i found the remake to be pretty lame...but the message remains.

"you do not shiat where you live".

we still don't get it.

maybe after the next world war, we might.

at the rate "the stupid" is growing...i forsee a great conflict happening in our very near future.

sometimes...you can't change stupid.

Rickerkioz

2009-12-04 01:20:05 PM

If they were coming I doubt there'd be much we could do in defense of Planet Earth....

Prawns being the obvious exception of course.

Diogenes

2009-12-04 01:43:35 PM

They'll change their tune when their cows start having their skin turned inside out.

Sybarite

2009-12-04 02:19:10 PM

That shifting of .00017% of the annual occupation budget to Afghanistan could really make the difference.

serpent_sky

2009-12-04 02:35:03 PM

And now there are some severely bummed people who lost their jobs answering phones and taking calls from freaked out, paranoid, terrified people who were in the presence of a streetlight.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

2009-12-04 02:36:34 PM

But how will we know where the streetlights are?

JustinCase

2009-12-04 03:02:21 PM

oldfarthenry: They actually believe finding UFOs is LESS plausible than stabilizing Afghanistan?

brilliant.

Crosshair

2009-12-04 03:07:32 PM

I have a 6' delta kite and a mile or so of string. Slap a few glow-sticks and/or colored lights, fly it after dark, and read newspaper reports the next day.

bullwinkl

2009-12-04 03:26:59 PM

For a short time I belonged to a UFO investigation group and we used to go hang out at this place called "Lucky Point". The other guys in the group called it that because they always saw these black triangles and crap in the air there. I never saw them...besides, I knew it was luckier for every dude there that wasn't looking for UFOs because the place was a parker's paradise. I quit that group, but I went back there later with a girlfriend that wanted to see some UFOs. We were in the back seat of my Olds making out all hot and heavy and I had forgotten to set the parking brake so we slowly started to roll backwards down the slope back to the main road and once we realized it, we panicked and she jumped out one door and I jumped out the other and the car kept going and picking up speed and it started to turn and it ran right into the bottom of a power pole and a transformer at the top of it blew and there were sparks and shiat. I swear to god, in the quiet out in that field in the middle of the night you could hear the sound of a dozen UFO investigators jizzing in their jeans as they saw their first unexplained lights in the sky. I miss that car. That girl went lesbian shortly after that because after me no other man was enough for her.

zootsuit

2009-12-04 04:48:14 PM

It's getting expensive lining the British troops' helmets with tinfoil anyway.

Snarky Acronym

2009-12-04 04:48:29 PM

But what if there are UFO's in Afghanistan?
WHAT IF!!

utardsRock

2009-12-04 04:48:37 PM

I thought plugs were supposed to stay in and that it was the beads you pulled...

/am I wrong?

Curt Blizzah

2009-12-04 04:50:56 PM

What a massive conspiracy!! I knew the gov't had something to hide.

Bossk'sSegway

2009-12-04 04:52:13 PM

utardsRock: I thought plugs were supposed to stay in and that it was the beads you pulled...

/am I wrong?

Where is gorgor when you need him?

AnubisMan

2009-12-04 04:52:43 PM

I belong to this UFO research group and we used to have this fat retard follow us around for a while who complained he could never see shiat. I heard he ended up wrecking his POS car while making out with some lesbian, so I guess that takes care of that.

Ashtrey

2009-12-04 04:53:52 PM

"There is no defense value in investigating UFO reports."

I gotta think either aliens that come to Earth are no threat, or so advanced we have no hope. So either way if a UFO shows up, some dude will call 911 and we'll know, or we'lll all die horribly.

Or some dude will click rapidly and we'll all die horribly.

Boners McNasty

2009-12-04 04:53:54 PM

That's what they all say until the farking chryssalids start showing up.

HumbleGenius

2009-12-04 04:53:59 PM

The Afghanis just want us to be leaving.

utardsRock

2009-12-04 04:55:17 PM

Bossk'sSegway: utardsRock: I thought plugs were supposed to stay in and that it was the beads you pulled...

/am I wrong?

Where is gorgor when you need him?

GORGOR, my personal savior, can you help us find such a delightful image?

TheNyquilKid

2009-12-04 04:55:40 PM

Good call Britain, finding out about unidentified objects in your air space has no defense value at all.

darghon

2009-12-04 04:58:34 PM

You know, every time we talk about how "fragile" our planet is, we are just inviting aliens to attack us.

/paraphrase

KarmicDisaster

2009-12-04 04:58:59 PM

Now we make our move, foolish Earthmen.

Maggie_Luna

2009-12-04 05:00:08 PM

They'll regret this when that UFO turns out to be some probe from *shakes boggle* Turkmenistan! Then we'll see who has the last laugh! Of course by then it'll be too late and the won't really realize that those probes supposedly from Turkmenistan were actually from *shakes boggle* Azerbaijan!

Huskadoodle

2009-12-04 05:01:38 PM

TheNyquilKid: Good call Britain, finding out about unidentified objects in your air space has no defense value at all.

I think you are confusing monitoring air space and monitoring a UFO hot line.

moothemagiccow

2009-12-04 05:02:26 PM

Im LOLing at the fact that this existed at all

Non-evil Monkey

2009-12-04 05:05:33 PM

Ashtrey: "There is no defense value in investigating UFO reports."

I gotta think either aliens that come to Earth are no threat, or so advanced we have no hope. So either way if a UFO shows up, some dude will call 911 and we'll know, or we'lll all die horribly.

Or some dude will click rapidly and we'll all die horribly.

That is the thing about a hostile alien invasion, the only chance we'd have is either another alien race (or faction of the attacking race) shows up in our defense. They might not be 100% altruistic, but their actions will still greatly benefit us.

As for UFO sightings, I think a small percentage can be referred to as "unknown phenomena", that doesn't mean aliens per say, just something science hasn't been able to describe as of yet. The rest are the result of either man-made aircraft or odd (but well known) atmospheric events.

w00ty

2009-12-04 05:06:23 PM

i guess checking voicemail is too expensive?

theredsea1

2009-12-04 05:07:48 PM

Ha ha! Get out of Afghanistan? Ha ha ha! Yeah, when the oil stops flowing through there on a US taxpayer purchased and built oil pipeline.

Ha ha ha! You people actually believe the goal is to win?

(We came to the Taliban to offer them a low percentage on the oil pipeline and they said "no" and then we said we would bomb them if they refused.)

Ha ha ha.

Leave Afghanistan? How's the Iraq pullout coming?

US Presidents... f-ing liars!

Solty Dog

2009-12-04 05:07:58 PM

So the two prats they put out of work answering the phone will now be going to war?

I feel safer already.

Perducci

2009-12-04 05:08:51 PM

Can't we just agree that both programs are a waste of money?

At least the UFO hotline was cheap. What's that money going to do in Afghanistan? But one more box of bullets each month?

If they aren't going to simply reduce overall spending by making the cuts to the hotline, there must be a few hundred "defense"-related alternatives that could actually use the money and make a difference with it.

doodledo

2009-12-04 05:12:16 PM

bullwinkl: For a short time I belonged to a UFO investigation group and we used to go hang out at this place called "Lucky Point". The other guys in the group called it that because they always saw these black triangles and crap in the air there. I never saw them...besides, I knew it was luckier for every dude there that wasn't looking for UFOs because the place was a parker's paradise. I quit that group, but I went back there later with a girlfriend that wanted to see some UFOs. We were in the back seat of my Olds making out all hot and heavy and I had forgotten to set the parking brake so we slowly started to roll backwards down the slope back to the main road and once we realized it, we panicked and she jumped out one door and I jumped out the other and the car kept going and picking up speed and it started to turn and it ran right into the bottom of a power pole and a transformer at the top of it blew and there were sparks and shiat. I swear to god, in the quiet out in that field in the middle of the night you could hear the sound of a dozen UFO investigators jizzing in their jeans as they saw their first unexplained lights in the sky. I miss that car. That girl went lesbian shortly after that because after me no other man was enough for her.

Came for this.
*slow clap*

Somaticasual

2009-12-04 05:15:26 PM

bullwinkl: That girl went lesbian shortly after that because after me no other man was enough for her.

And the award for most self-indulgent rationalization ever goes to.. bullwinkl come on down!

//kidding, good story

Mein Fuhrer I Can Walk

2009-12-04 05:17:29 PM

/oblig.

dragonchild

2009-12-04 05:21:50 PM

I understand sociology and the human mind well enough to know that world peace is an impossibility, so I take what I would consider a pragmatic approach to geopolitical issues. I'm also a fiscal conservative, so I don't think a government should directly fund something like a UFO hotline (SETI, on the other hand. . .).

All that said, on an academic level, I really have a hard time agreeing that spending resources for members of the same species to blow each other up for absurdly inane reasons is a better idea.

That most people embrace the idea that war is a viable solution to anything just goes to show how petty, irrational and primitive humans are. As Bill Watterson said best, the surest sign intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

chopit

2009-12-04 05:23:27 PM

Maggie_Luna

2009-12-04 05:25:18 PM

dragonchild: I understand sociology and the human mind well enough to know that world peace is an impossibility, so I take what I would consider a pragmatic approach to geopolitical issues. I'm also a fiscal conservative, so I don't think a government should directly fund something like a UFO hotline (SETI, on the other hand. . .).

All that said, on an academic level, I really have a hard time agreeing that spending resources for members of the same species to blow each other up for absurdly inane reasons is a better idea.

That most people embrace the idea that war is a viable solution to anything just goes to show how petty, irrational and primitive humans are. As Bill Watterson said best, the surest sign intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Well, someone's holier than thou now ain't he?

If aliens ever come I hope they're war mongerers just to shut up people like you, we'd all die yes, but at least people like you would shut up. I could die in terror (assuming I"m not just eviscerated just like that) comfortably knowing that.

Loki-L

2009-12-04 05:25:40 PM

Commander Ed Straker is not ammused.

maxheck

2009-12-04 05:27:37 PM

TheNyquilKid:

Good call Britain, finding out about unidentified objects in your air space has no defense value at all.

My first thought was that a few hundred thousand WWII-era "civilian spotters" might disagree.

/ Of course, they didn't have RADAR back in the day.

proteon

2009-12-04 05:28:37 PM

Thus denying the public validation that something seems to be on the verge of happening. You have no idea what I'm talking about I'm sure.

mimg.ugo.com

NANCY'S MEAT PUPPET

2009-12-04 05:30:08 PM

AnubisMan: I belong to this UFO research group and we used to have this fat retard follow us around for a while who complained he could never see shiat. I heard he ended up wrecking his POS car while making out with some lesbian, so I guess that takes care of that.

So full of win. +1

GLove88mph

2009-12-04 05:30:21 PM

*lathers tentacles*

all according to plan.

sadistic-savior

2009-12-04 05:31:06 PM

The tag is wrong. It should be

tinyarena

2009-12-04 05:35:11 PM

chopit: bullwinkl: For a short time I belonged to a UFO investigation group and we used to go hang out at this place called "Lucky Point". The other guys in the group called it that because they always saw these black triangles and crap in the air there. I never saw them...besides, I knew it was luckier for every dude there that wasn't looking for UFOs because the place was a parker's paradise. I quit that group, but I went back there later with a girlfriend that wanted to see some UFOs. We were in the back seat of my Olds making out all hot and heavy and I had forgotten to set the parking brake so we slowly started to roll backwards down the slope back to the main road and once we realized it, we panicked and she jumped out one door and I jumped out the other and the car kept going and picking up speed and it started to turn and it ran right into the bottom of a power pole and a transformer at the top of it blew and there were sparks and shiat. I swear to god, in the quiet out in that field in the middle of the night you could hear the sound of a dozen UFO investigators jizzing in their jeans as they saw their first unexplained lights in the sky. I miss that car. That girl went lesbian shortly after that because after me no other man was enough for her.

AnubisMan: I belong to this UFO research group and we used to have this fat retard follow us around for a while who complained he could never see shiat. I heard he ended up wrecking his POS car while making out with some lesbian, so I guess that takes care of that.

This reminds me of a UFO group I knew. They were all repressed homosexuals but couldn't come out of the closet. They'd just hang out at night, all huddled together, "looking for UFOs." Right, sure. Finally, one of them got lucky with a lesbian member, so they cut the break lines on his car for revenge. I wonder what ever happened to them.

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