FARK.com: (4819659) If there was any doubt as to which list William C. Caldwell III of Georgia is on, it was eliminated when he dressed as an elf and told a mall Santa that he was carrying dynamite. With pic of what an elf probably doesn't look like

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		If there was any doubt as to which list William C. Caldwell III of Georgia is on, it was eliminated when he dressed as an elf and told a mall Santa that he was carrying dynamite. With pic of what an elf probably doesn't look like (news.yahoo.com)		91
		More: Dumbass, William C. Caldwell, Santa, Georgia, needs

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91 Comments (+0 »)

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xanadian

2009-12-03 12:34:52 PM

Um...the NSA terrorist watch list?

Megain

2009-12-03 12:36:20 PM

photo caption: This undated photo provided by the Clayton County Sheriff's Office shows William C. Caldwell III.

they must not like you very much

PainInTheASP

2009-12-03 12:56:26 PM

Yes my friends, that is the look of someone who is beginning to realize that they didn't think their cunning plan all the way through.

The Angry Hand of God

2009-12-03 12:58:54 PM

Meth is a hell of a drug.

asleep71

2009-12-03 12:59:35 PM

a story so nice they told it twice

Treygreen13

2009-12-03 12:59:46 PM

Dammit, that guy is giving Treys a bad name.

Mr.Hawk

2009-12-03 01:00:46 PM

It's IN there

Another Government Employee

2009-12-03 01:03:10 PM

Will Ferrell did it better.

(Clayton County needs its own FARK tag)

AbbeySomeone

2009-12-03 01:03:12 PM

Why would a 45 year old man want his picture taken with Santa?

meunke

2009-12-03 01:04:40 PM

AbbeySomeone: Why would a 45 year old man want his picture taken with Santa?

Because, as a previous poster said, meth is a helluva drug?

moops

2009-12-03 01:04:41 PM

PLEASE DO NOT TAUNT THE DYNAMITE ELF

www.sfgate.com

friedlinx

2009-12-03 01:06:42 PM

AbbeySomeone: Why would a 45 year old man want his picture taken with Santa?

The Angry Hand of God
Meth is a hell of a drug. Enough Said.

fatal_exception

2009-12-03 01:07:51 PM

He waited his turn in line. That's awesome.

I'm picturing the assorted parents also waiting in line, looking at this guy and apparently not one of them had the nerve to question him before his turn.

friedlinx

2009-12-03 01:08:14 PM

meunke you beat me to it.

LeroyBourne

2009-12-03 01:08:54 PM

jeepers creepers look at those peepers!

AbbeySomeone

2009-12-03 01:09:59 PM

friedlinx: AbbeySomeone: Why would a 45 year old man want his picture taken with Santa?

The Angry Hand of God
Meth is a hell of a drug. Enough Said.

Too simple. I like the idea of twisted sexual fantasies or childhood trauma.

macadamnut

2009-12-03 01:11:06 PM

He'll make the Georgia Registry of Sexual Offenders for the dressing up and because a lap may have been involved.

Jument

2009-12-03 01:11:24 PM

I disagree with subby. I think that dude looks exactly like an elf. He looks small and the weirdly bulging eyes kinda make it work.

Mr.Hawk

2009-12-03 01:11:26 PM

What an elf probably doesn't look like

i478.photobucket.com

booger42

2009-12-03 01:17:49 PM

I was thinking Sexual Offdner list, but he's gonna get added to the No fly list now.

Delphis

2009-12-03 01:18:29 PM

They don't look like these either, but we can hope:

www.3wishes.com

/hot .. like chocolate

friedlinx

2009-12-03 01:18:32 PM

AbbeySomeone: friedlinx: AbbeySomeone: Why would a 45 year old man want his picture taken with Santa?

The Angry Hand of God
Meth is a hell of a drug. Enough Said.

Too simple. I like the idea of twisted sexual fantasies or childhood trauma.

William C. Caldwell I and William C. Caldwell II wanted for questioning.

rFarke

2009-12-03 01:21:32 PM

Approves

kindms

2009-12-03 01:22:22 PM

improvius: Candy cane goes where?

awesome!

dr.zaeus

2009-12-03 01:24:10 PM

...and to think, it hasn't even been five years yet. (new window)

bucket_pup

2009-12-03 01:25:27 PM

OMG - As someone that lived in Morrow, GA for 27+ years and saw Southlake mall being built, I am getting a kick out of this replies......

/// Lived at the "Goldmine" arcade during my wasted days of youth
//// Southlake mall is a shAthole now.
// Get the hell of my lawn.

Buttbone McGillicutty

2009-12-03 01:26:00 PM

Wasn't he married to Drew Barrymore?

Fluid

2009-12-03 01:28:42 PM

Hobbit, most likely.

MBooda

2009-12-03 01:31:35 PM

Dynamite? Why not the usual chainsaw and boom stick?
www.mindpollution.org

edgesrealm

2009-12-03 01:34:49 PM

Too early to call this guy our new Tribbett?

//Will be watching this guy's police blotter very closely.

Harry Freakstorm

2009-12-03 01:35:36 PM

Christmas 2009. The year I hoped I would finally get my detonators from Santa. I spent all November dropping hints to the old man and mom but they just didn't get it.

Crazy Elf: Mom, if I got some detonators, I betcha I could blow up that abortion clinic down the street!

Crazy Elf's Mom: Oh dearie. Just leave that to the drunken church rabble. It's their fight. Now, how would you like Santa to bring you a nice .410 shotgun for Christmas. If you got those detonators, you'd just blow your eyes out.

Crazy Elf: He brought me a .410 last year and the police took it away from me.

I even tried to work my teacher by writing the bestest essay about how detonators are the best gift and I would be so careful with them. But try as I might, I couldn't sway the liberal old hag.

Teacher: Crazy Elf, your essay was full of extreme right wing ants and your detailed plan to blow up the international banking consortium is horribly flawed. I'm giving you a C+. Also, you'll blow your eyes out.

In desperation, I went to see Santa. I knew that if I showed him the dynamite I had made from various chemicals and gun powder, he would see that I was sincere and desperately needed those detonators. I waited in line behind some goofy kid who kept talking about asking Santa for Pinnacle Chip based computer. Stupid Dexter. Finally! I made it to the Jolly Old Saint's lap. But I froze! Santa was impatient. "What do you want? Aren't you a little old to be here, kid?" Hands grabbed me and started to direct me to the slide. It was now or never! I blurted it out just as quickly as I could:

Crazy Elf: I have dynamite in my bag! I need detonators to return the United States to the Jesus centric nation is should forever be!

Santa: Mall Security! By the way kid, You'll only blow your eyes out (pushes crazy elf down the slide).

Shakespeare's Monkey

2009-12-03 01:35:51 PM

Standard issue Elf

www.3wishes.com

High maintenance Elf

/giggity

The Incredible Sexual Egg

2009-12-03 01:44:16 PM

Begun, the Christmas Wars have

Eyebleach

2009-12-03 01:44:33 PM

That's a serious case of crazy eyes.

gunther_bumpass

2009-12-03 01:45:01 PM

Andy Dick, you're falling apart.

glenlivid

2009-12-03 01:51:05 PM

fatal_exception: He waited his turn in line. That's awesome.

I'm picturing the assorted parents also waiting in line, looking at this guy and apparently not one of them had the nerve to question him before his turn.

He waited in line because he didn't actually have dynamite. Taking cuts in front of a bunch of kids "hopped up on Christmas" without weapons will get you a mob beating.

Even crazy, drug-addled weirdos wearing elf suits know that.

CTaylor80

2009-12-03 01:51:43 PM

That guy is "penis goes where?" incarnate.

Moroning

2009-12-03 01:53:40 PM

Them eyes have Graves Disease written all over them!

Aardvark Inc.

2009-12-03 01:58:20 PM

Concerns raised about elf & safety?

Moodybastard

2009-12-03 02:01:22 PM

Came for JJ

leaving happy

Rubberband Girl

2009-12-03 02:03:05 PM

He looks like Smegal right after he stole the Ring.

/Precious...

CaesarSneezy

2009-12-03 02:05:59 PM

What a weird plan. How did he think this was going to turn out?

Savage Bacon

2009-12-03 02:08:19 PM

I bet David Sedaris would've devoted at least 5 pages to this guy in his Santaland Diaries.

"Today a crazy man disguised as an elf created quite a scene when he revealed he was carrying dynamite. While the standard reaction was shock and panic, I could only look on, a quite hope growing in my heart. "Set it off, I silently pleaded. Take us all away from this farce. This velour suit is starting to itch, anyway."

walrusonion

2009-12-03 02:10:34 PM

apparently Marv's love of meth caused the end of the wet bandits.

/that's spelled W-E-T

Farkin'round

2009-12-03 02:10:54 PM

bucket_pup: OMG - As someone that lived in Morrow, GA for 27+ years and saw Southlake mall being built, I am getting a kick out of this replies......

/// Lived at the "Goldmine" arcade during my wasted days of youth
//// Southlake mall is a shAthole now.
// Get the hell of my lawn.

I agree with you. That place used to be the main drag to shop or just hang out. It has definitely become "The 'Hood. It's the same with Macon Mall.

Sir Charles

2009-12-03 02:10:57 PM

CaesarSneezy: What a weird plan. How did he think this was going to turn out?

i think his plan was

#1 - Meth
#2 - ???
#3 - Profit

/no battle plan survives first contact with meth

Blasphemous Knave

2009-12-03 02:15:17 PM

That is one of the scariest mugshots I've ever seen. His eyes are deader than a stripper's. Or Kristen Stewart's.

moops

2009-12-03 02:17:07 PM

Shakespeare's Monkey: High maintenance Elf

/giggity

i113.photobucket.com

Mr.Hawk

2009-12-03 02:18:24 PM

Harry Freakstorm: Christmas 2009. The year I hoped I would finally get my detonators from Santa. I spent all November dropping hints to the old man and mom but they just didn't get it.

Crazy Elf: Mom, if I got some detonators, I betcha I could blow up that abortion clinic down the street!

Crazy Elf's Mom: Oh dearie. Just leave that to the drunken church rabble. It's their fight. Now, how would you like Santa to bring you a nice .410 shotgun for Christmas. If you got those detonators, you'd just blow your eyes out.

Crazy Elf: He brought me a .410 last year and the police took it away from me.

I even tried to work my teacher by writing the bestest essay about how detonators are the best gift and I would be so careful with them. But try as I might, I couldn't sway the liberal old hag.

Teacher: Crazy Elf, your essay was full of extreme right wing ants and your detailed plan to blow up the international banking consortium is horribly flawed. I'm giving you a C+. Also, you'll blow your eyes out.

In desperation, I went to see Santa. I knew that if I showed him the dynamite I had made from various chemicals and gun powder, he would see that I was sincere and desperately needed those detonators. I waited in line behind some goofy kid who kept talking about asking Santa for Pinnacle Chip based computer. Stupid Dexter. Finally! I made it to the Jolly Old Saint's lap. But I froze! Santa was impatient. "What do you want? Aren't you a little old to be here, kid?" Hands grabbed me and started to direct me to the slide. It was now or never! I blurted it out just as quickly as I could:

Crazy Elf: I have dynamite in my bag! I need detonators to return the United States to the Jesus centric nation is should forever be!

Santa: Mall Security! By the way kid, You'll only blow your eyes out (pushes crazy elf down the slide).

There is a reason all of your posts are bright green.

Bravo!

Tommy Moo

2009-12-03 02:20:05 PM