FARK.com: (4819526) Screw you, loafers, homeless people and wishing wells

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Screw you, loafers, homeless people and wishing wells (mainstreet.com)		172
		More: Interesting, appetizers, homeless, circulation, related articles

• • •

14062 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2009 at 12:44 PM | Favorite | share:

more» |

Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends!

shirt it!

Share this link:

URL:

http://fk.cm/go/4819526

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

172 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

ThatGuyGreg

2009-12-03 12:24:36 PM

I wonder how people will feel when all prices and after-tax totals are rounded up to the nearest nickel...

Pocket Ninja

2009-12-03 12:30:57 PM

Loafers and homeless people are just bandits, anyway, stealing time underneath a sycamore tree. What do they need with a wishing well? It would be like butterfly tears to them. A wishing well of crocodile cheers. And they're all hugging each other, monkey see, monkey do. Watching the riverboat gamblers with erotic images floating through their heads. They just wanna be midnight rambler, quickly, blood racing through their veins. They just wanna hear those sugar bells ring. Sure, if you want to, wish them love. Wish them a wishing well, wish them a chance to kiss or to tell. Wish them butterfly tears and crocodile cheers. Your appetite is probably more than I knew, anyway.

The Angry Hand of God

2009-12-03 12:48:14 PM

What am I going to stick in my ass now? rolls of dimes just fall right out and I am afraid that a roll of nickles just might be pushing the gay boundaries.

KidneyStone

2009-12-03 12:48:23 PM

If they retire the penny then what am I gonna switch to, ass nickles?

exparrot

2009-12-03 12:48:38 PM

Is this article about Terence Trent D'Arby?

HelloNeuman

2009-12-03 12:49:22 PM

I heard Tiger is changing his name to Cheetah.

Englebert Slaptyback

2009-12-03 12:49:23 PM

The End of Pennies?

This article has a distinct Oh-crap-I-have-a-deadline-and-need-something-fast feel.

stuhayes2010

2009-12-03 12:50:06 PM

Doesn't this story rear its head about once a decade?

dahmers love zombie

2009-12-03 12:51:44 PM

The Angry Hand of God: What am I going to stick in my ass now? rolls of dimes just fall right out and I am afraid that a roll of nickles just might be pushing the gay boundaries.

KidneyStone: If they retire the penny then what am I gonna switch to, ass nickles?

These are dangerously close to a simulpost of truly epic and creepy proportions.

lukelightning

2009-12-03 12:52:25 PM

I'm proud to know Jeff Gore, one of the founders of Citizens to Retire the Penny.

He's the closest thing to a celebrity I know, since he was on both 60 Minutes and the Colbert Report.

The Angry Hand of God

2009-12-03 12:53:08 PM

dahmers love zombie: The Angry Hand of God: What am I going to stick in my ass now? rolls of dimes just fall right out and I am afraid that a roll of nickles just might be pushing the gay boundaries.

KidneyStone: If they retire the penny then what am I gonna switch to, ass nickles?

These are dangerously close to a simulpost of truly epic and creepy proportions.

Oddly enough, we both enabled voting as well.

Kaiserman

2009-12-03 12:54:04 PM

Im not rounding up my three cents to give to some one else, even is they do smell like your collective asses.

Farkwaddle

2009-12-03 12:54:47 PM

WTF? How am I supposed to get exact change back when breaking a large bill for a small purchase? What else am I gonna use when we play PENNY poker? I fail to see how this is going to work in my favor.

/I'm the only one that matters
//make the stinkin things out of brass or something

wpmulligan

2009-12-03 12:56:00 PM

ThatGuyGreg: I wonder how people will feel when all prices and after-tax totals are rounded up to the nearest nickel...

The merchants who announce "we always round down" will feel pretty good about all the extra business.

sxacho

2009-12-03 12:57:02 PM

exparrot: Is this article about Terence Trent D'Arby?

Sananda Maitreya, please.

i44.photobucket.com

Kareeshus

2009-12-03 12:57:13 PM

The only real argument against scrapping pennies is that everything would be rounded up. Yes, yes, stores wouldn't necessarily have to round up, but we all know they would. And those few extra pennies every transaction would be noticeable to poor people.

Otherwise, pennies are useless no most folk.

I always wanted to glue a bunch of pennies together to make a beating stick or link them together to make a suit of chainmail.

sxacho

2009-12-03 12:58:47 PM

I guess it's time to start hoarding. Those pennies will be worth big money real soon. Mark my words.

lionfish

2009-12-03 12:58:55 PM

Farkwaddle: WTF? How am I supposed to get exact change back when breaking a large bill for a small purchase? What else am I gonna use when we play PENNY poker? I fail to see how this is going to work in my favor.

/I'm the only one that matters
//make the stinkin things out of brass or something

Brass is far more expensive than zinc, with a copper coating.
Rounding *down* seems to be the answer. People'd be ok with it.

/ass nickles just dont have the same ring to it either though.

schattenteufel

2009-12-03 12:59:32 PM

How much would you pay for THIS Penny?
tumsrum.files.wordpress.com

Englebert Slaptyback

2009-12-03 12:59:54 PM

The Angry Hand of God

dahmers love zombie: The Angry Hand of God: What am I going to stick in my ass now? rolls of dimes just fall right out and I am afraid that a roll of nickles just might be pushing the gay boundaries.

KidneyStone: If they retire the penny then what am I gonna switch to, ass nickles?

These are dangerously close to a simulpost of truly epic and creepy proportions.

Oddly enough, we both enabled voting as well.

And you both misspelled 'nickel'. Spooky!

lionfish

2009-12-03 01:00:28 PM

oh and for those that dont know

Ass Pennies (new window, NSFW Language)

EdVenture

2009-12-03 01:00:57 PM

schattenteufel: How much would you pay for THIS Penny?

I'd buy that for a dollar.

MC O'Brien

2009-12-03 01:01:10 PM

Maybe not eliminate the usage of pennies, but at least stop production for a few years to save some money. Doesn't everyone have a jar of pennies they could put back into circulation?

wpmulligan

2009-12-03 01:02:33 PM

EdVenture: schattenteufel: How much would you pay for THIS Penny?

I'd buy that for a dollar.

I bid 40 quatloos on the newcomer.

asleep71

2009-12-03 01:02:36 PM

ThatGuyGreg: I wonder how people will feel when all prices and after-tax totals are rounded up to the nearest nickel...

leaving satisfied

Prof_Moriarity

2009-12-03 01:02:52 PM

There are larger news cycles than just every year.
This one is on a 5-10 year cycle or so.

They're like beautiful comets, descending from, and returning to a celestial sphere of slow news.
Or, they've ran out of stuff in the "filler article" drawer, and have started to pull from the back again.

We should anticipate the return of "Should America The Beautiful become the new national anthem?" story. They seem to return within a few months of each other.

skwirlpower

2009-12-03 01:04:03 PM

I think it would make me even angrier when I bought gas.

EdVenture

2009-12-03 01:05:37 PM

Time to start making these
snltranscripts.jt.org

GoodyearPimp

2009-12-03 01:05:48 PM

ThatGuyGreg: I wonder how people will feel when all prices and after-tax totals are rounded up to the nearest nickel...

No reason to round anything but the final total. People might buy more at one time to save on rounding. This means less money spent on gas, less traffic. I'm not rich, but I fail to see how, even under the worst circumstances, eliminating the penny isn't a benefit. Most people aren't paying cash for things anyway.

astro716

2009-12-03 01:06:22 PM

Penneh!

Roger Wilco

2009-12-03 01:07:40 PM

Whatever, Subby. Not even homeless people will accept pennies.

Try it some time.

wpmulligan

2009-12-03 01:09:02 PM

It is time.

This space intentionaly left blank

2009-12-03 01:14:28 PM

ThatGuyGreg: I wonder how people will feel when all prices and after-tax totals are rounded up to the nearest nickel...

Fine by me... Everything ending in .00 or . X5 sounds like the most logical way to go.

olddinosaur

2009-12-03 01:15:33 PM

In Zimbabwe they eliminated coins completely, after the "Dollar" went to about 100 billion to $1 USA.

We will be there in time.

\\\ maybe too little time.

Chthonic Echoes

2009-12-03 01:16:05 PM

Roger Wilco: Whatever, Subby. Not even homeless people will accept pennies.

Try it some time.

For a while there was a guy at Copley station with a cup out. "I'm just asking for some small change, whatever you can spare: a five, a ten, a twenty . . ."

Thomas_Aquinas

2009-12-03 01:16:29 PM

Pocket Ninja: Pocket Ninja Stuff.

I love you.

Fano

2009-12-03 01:17:03 PM

See this penny? This was MY wish, MY dream. I'm taking it back. I'm taking 'em all back.

h2oincfs

2009-12-03 01:17:12 PM

Wasn't this the plot to Superman III?

HawgWild

2009-12-03 01:20:14 PM

Voting?

Fano

2009-12-03 01:20:24 PM

Lionel Richie, inconsolable.

oldandwiser

2009-12-03 01:20:55 PM

A nickel for your thoughts?

That Guy...From That Show!

2009-12-03 01:21:12 PM

They keep going on and on about the pennies.

It's just to distract us all in the United States that there's only $2,000 total in cash that exists for each person.

Yet almost every one you know is in debt for much more than that.

HawgWild

2009-12-03 01:21:41 PM

If we abolish the penny, what will I leave as a tip for crappy servers?

/voting enabled for this one, too
//why not

w_houle

2009-12-03 01:21:50 PM

A nickel just "ain't worth a dime" anymore.

wpmulligan

2009-12-03 01:22:52 PM

In 1793, when they were first minted, a penny could buy three gallons of corn whiskey, seven yards of shirt-grade cotton cloth, and one mule.

Today, a penny can buy the faint aroma of somebody else's ass.

booger42

2009-12-03 01:26:23 PM

Canadian MP Gerald Keddy, is that you?

/DRTFA
//Go Away, Gerry

TheOtherGuy

2009-12-03 01:28:41 PM

Anyone else take issue with the "3 billion" figure mentioned?

That's 10 for each man, woman, & child in America, give or take. Seems awful light...

Merky

2009-12-03 01:29:18 PM

So if they get rid of pennies then they are going to round everything up to the nearest nickel? That means that I could be losing up to 4 cents on transactions? Screw that. It doesn't sound like much but millions of transactions daily countrywide a couple of pennies at a time will add up. Who gets this money? The stores? Or does that government create a "no penny tax" and keep the money for their war coffers?

img2.pict.com

It's only a couple of pennies.

dofus

2009-12-03 01:31:19 PM

FTFA:
"We have been trying to eliminate the penny for quite some time -- it always comes back," Obama said. "I need to find out who is lobbying to keep the penny."

It's the zink mining companies. The mint is far and away their largest customer (or was) and these asshats are making a fortune.

Last stat I heard on the subject was every new penny gets used an average of 1.7 times before it winds up in some jar somewhere.

upright_apes_r_us

2009-12-03 01:32:43 PM

The people backing this want to nickel and dime everyone.

Displayed 50 of 172 comments