Back in August, late one warm and humid evening, the wife and I were sitting outside having a couple beers and enjoying the night air. Then we heard a crash. It was followed by screaming and yelling for about 15 minutes. We watched as lights came flickering on throughout the neighborhood, as people came to their windows to see what was happening. The guy up the street comes storming out of his place lights a cigarette, and starts plodding down the road. The door slams shut behind him and he yells something back at it. As he continues to walk, he looks around at all the neighbors, now standing in their open doorways watching the commotion. He yells, "Right! Like none of you have every had a fight in your marriage? Go find something to do."

Anyone paying attention to this, including the news outlets, should take that advice.

that sounds more like happy gilmore, but whatever.

A black Asian playing hockey? Haa!!

/note: sarcasm, considering there are/were some pretty good players from each ethnicity
//cracker cracker cracker

HAY GUISE DID YOU KNOW TIGER CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WE NEED TEN THOUSAND THREADS ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT IN HUMAN HISTORY HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Subby fails Jordanology 101

First, he needs to quit golf, but then a year later come back. Then he needs to quit again, try to play hockey, and after that fails play golf again with a different sponsor, then quit again, then come back and play golf with a different sponsor.

FTFY to actually parallel Jordan's career path.

You could add: then retire to play basketball, which would add a wryly ironic touch.

DRTFA, but should we expect to see Tiger in a White Sox minor league uniform soon?

Yay, fark.com, the Tiger Woods channel.

What can Tiger learn from Jordan?

How NOT to do a Hall of Fame speech?

Linux_Yes: What can Tiger learn from Jordan?


that only in america could you run around with a ball, get paid millions, and have the country's kids look up to you as some kind of a hero, as if you really accomplished something worthwhile.

without jordan and tiger, where would the U.S. be??

I am sure that his charitable work has had nothing to do with that perception either, http://www.tigerwoodsfoundation.org/

He donates all of his tour winnings to charity and lives off of his endorsements. That works out around $10M/yr, sometimes less sometimes more. Show me another athlete that does this.

Leave to the Chicago media to c0ckshine on Jordan for all of his douchenuggetry.

/should link to MJ23's HOF speech

Person Of Interest: How NOT to do a Hall of Fame speech?

How bad was that? I cringed.

Jordan would never play hockey, the uniforms are by Reebok.

He wouldn't even wear a promotional Blackhawks jersey unless someone stitched the Nike logo on it even though Nike left the hockey business after selling Bauer.

Also, announcement of 2nd comeback by Tiger must occur at the same time as a major terrorist attack

No, Tiger needs to take notes from Letterman. Go on TV and make jokes about the indiscretions. All will be forgotten and forgiven in months.

bukketmaster: HAY GUISE DID YOU KNOW TIGER CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WE NEED TEN THOUSAND THREADS ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT IN HUMAN HISTORY HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Don't come in here with that slander. everyone knows Anna Nicole Smith was our greatest National Treasure.

Yes, because beating someone up or killing them is sooooo much better than supposedly cheating on them.

Ruffian: No, Tiger needs to take notes from Letterman. Go on TV and make jokes about the indiscretions. All will be forgotten and forgiven in months.

Certainly by males or anyone in the habit of excusing anything done by a sports star they like.

/Probably won't take months, either.

illusi0n: He donates all of his tour winnings to charity and lives off of his endorsements. That works out around $10M/yr, sometimes less sometimes more. Show me another athlete that does this.

Donates about 7%? A bunch of them.

the biggest redneck here: illusi0n: He donates all of his tour winnings to charity and lives off of his endorsements. That works out around $10M/yr, sometimes less sometimes more. Show me another athlete that does this.

Donates about 7%? A bunch of them.

You do understand the difference between winnings and endorsements, right? He donates 100% of his winnings and keeps most of his endorsements. I didn't say 7% either, I said approximately $10M/yr.

AppleOptionEsc: bukketmaster: HAY GUISE DID YOU KNOW TIGER CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WE NEED TEN THOUSAND THREADS ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT IN HUMAN HISTORY HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Don't come in here with that slander. everyone knows Anna Nicole Smith was our greatest National Treasure.

You're right. I've totally lost perspective.

AppleOptionEsc: Don't come in here with that slander. everyone knows Anna Nicole Smith was our greatest National Treasure.

That would make Skyscraper our greatest film ever.

Kornchex: illusi0n: the biggest redneck here: illusi0n: He donates all of his tour winnings to charity and lives off of his endorsements. That works out around $10M/yr, sometimes less sometimes more. Show me another athlete that does this.

Donates about 7%? A bunch of them.

You do understand the difference between winnings and endorsements, right? He donates 100% of his winnings and keeps most of his endorsements. I didn't say 7% either, I said approximately $10M/yr.

Tiger Woods made $117 million in 2008. Without doing the math, that's probably around... 7%? Wow, nice deduction for him.

It's great that he does it but it's all a tax write off so quit canonizing him.


He has donated in excess of $90M to charity over his career. But your right, he shouldn't get any respect for it.

illusi0n: the biggest redneck here: illusi0n: He donates all of his tour winnings to charity and lives off of his endorsements. That works out around $10M/yr, sometimes less sometimes more. Show me another athlete that does this.

Donates about 7%? A bunch of them.

You do understand the difference between winnings and endorsements, right? He donates 100% of his winnings and keeps most of his endorsements. I didn't say 7% either, I said approximately $10M/yr.

Are you stupid?

illusi0n: But your right

Nevermind.

the biggest redneck here: illusi0n: the biggest redneck here: illusi0n: He donates all of his tour winnings to charity and lives off of his endorsements. That works out around $10M/yr, sometimes less sometimes more. Show me another athlete that does this.

Donates about 7%? A bunch of them.

You do understand the difference between winnings and endorsements, right? He donates 100% of his winnings and keeps most of his endorsements. I didn't say 7% either, I said approximately $10M/yr.

Are you stupid?

illusi0n: But your right

Nevermind.

No, but apparently you don't think that a person dedicating a large chunk of their personal time in money to develop a charitable foundation with a mission of improving the lives of millions of children is worthy of commendation

AppleOptionEsc: bukketmaster: HAY GUISE DID YOU KNOW TIGER CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WE NEED TEN THOUSAND THREADS ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT IN HUMAN HISTORY HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Don't come in here with that slander. everyone knows Anna Nicole Smith was our greatest National Treasure.

with an unremarkable anus

Ruffian: No, Tiger needs to take notes from Letterman. Go on TV and make jokes about the indiscretions. All will be forgotten and forgiven in months.

Have you ever heard Tiger Woods make a joke, or show any personality whatsoever?

(looking at cue cards) My.wife.and.I.have.so.much.in.common...We.both.like.to.swing.Hold.for.applause.

Golf is not a sport!! That is like calling poker a sport!!

Never buy shiat because some celebrity endorses it!!

Maybe Tiger can follow Mike and get one of those big weird earrings that gay guys wear?

Kornchex: illusi0n: the biggest redneck here: illusi0n: the biggest redneck here: illusi0n: He donates all of his tour winnings to charity and lives off of his endorsements. That works out around $10M/yr, sometimes less sometimes more. Show me another athlete that does this.

Donates about 7%? A bunch of them.

You do understand the difference between winnings and endorsements, right? He donates 100% of his winnings and keeps most of his endorsements. I didn't say 7% either, I said approximately $10M/yr.

Are you stupid?

illusi0n: But your right

Nevermind.

No, but apparently you don't think that a person dedicating a large chunk of their personal time in money to develop a charitable foundation with a mission of improving the lives of millions of children is worthy of commendation

It is a TAX WRITE OFF. You do understand what that is, right? In other words, it directly benefits him. Do you think all of those foundations are run solely by Tiger? They have staff. The salary of that staff is a TAX WRITE OFF. When you make well in to the 9 figures, you need several TAX WRITE OFFS.


Yes. There is no personal involvement beyond the bare basics and no good intentions involved, I got ya.

Sage wisdom.

Michael Jordan is a jerkoff. He was way worse than Tiger, but it was well hidden. Just a complete jackass.

//For shizzle.

What's the difference between golf and an escalade?

- Tiger can at least drive a golf ball more than 300 yards

Why did Tiger hit both a fire hydrant and a tree?

- He couldn't figure out if he wanted to hit an iron or a wood

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common?

- Both have Norweigians trying to hit them with clubs

Norwegians

FTFM

Can we (as humanity) forget about Tiger Woods? Who cares? he's EVERYWHERE. enough

Linux_Yes: What can Tiger learn from Jordan?


that only in america could you run around with a ball, get paid millions, and have the country's kids look up to you as some kind of a hero, as if you really accomplished something worthwhile.

without jordan and tiger, where would the U.S. be??

Is that a joke? Only in America? The World Cup is about to start and it would like to have a word with you.