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(Gawker) Amusing Just in case you were wondering, Cosmo confirms that the Reverse Cowgirl is the safest sexual position if you're worried about catching swine flu   (gawker.com) divider line 588
More: Amusing, Reverse Cowgirl, sex partners, flu season, FAQ, CC BY-SA, subscriptions, swine flu  
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21553 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2009 at 11:19 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



588 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-03 08:23:47 AM
Why would it be any safer than doggy style? Getting into the reverse cowgirl would almost certainly mean some face-to-face contact to begin with, unless he just lays back on the bed and guides her in with verbal instructions. Doggy style prevents that step completely...she could assume the position while he's safely out of the room, then sound a bell or something, he comes in, bam. Perfectly safe, no swine flu transmission.
 
2009-12-03 08:25:56 AM
This is why I always jizz into my elbow.
 
2009-12-03 08:33:04 AM
I just do what the Director tell me to do.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2009-12-03 08:35:17 AM
Hands up now, how many Farkettes get their sex advice from Cosmo?
 
2009-12-03 08:48:54 AM
Pocket Ninja: Getting into the reverse cowgirl would almost certainly mean some face-to-face contact to begin with, unless he just lays back on the bed and guides her in with verbal instructions.

If you need verbal instructions to guide someone in, it's likely that your micropenis doesn't protrude far enough to let them do it by feel.
 
2009-12-03 08:55:48 AM
Theaetetus: If you need verbal instructions to guide someone in, it's likely that your micropenis doesn't protrude far enough to let them do it by feel.

There's always that possibility, but I still maintain that it's far more efficient for the man to enter the room and walk forward than the woman to back into the room and move in reverse.
 
2009-12-03 09:01:00 AM
Pocket Ninja: Theaetetus: If you need verbal instructions to guide someone in, it's likely that your micropenis doesn't protrude far enough to let them do it by feel.

There's always that possibility, but I still maintain that it's far more efficient for the man to enter the room and walk forward than the woman to back into the room and move in reverse.


This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?
 
2009-12-03 09:05:49 AM
Was this confirmed by a double-blindfold study?
 
2009-12-03 09:09:05 AM
um . . .like with AIDS, pregnancy, and sin, the only real way to avoid all of this is abstinence.
 
2009-12-03 09:09:37 AM
Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

It's just something they fall into.
 
2009-12-03 09:21:29 AM
What's the matter, boy? I bet you squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig. Let's squeal. Squeal now.
 
2009-12-03 09:21:29 AM
Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their disciples lead them in and they just do the rest?
 
2009-12-03 09:34:00 AM
I guess a 69 is still safe, then.
 
2009-12-03 09:37:54 AM
I still can't figure out why some sites insist on creating pages called

"http://gawker.com/5417693/reverse-cowgirl-is-the-most-swine-flu-resistant-sex- p osition"

rather than "http://gawker.com/5417693/111afoi" or something like it. I'd love to be able to click on that link from work.
 
2009-12-03 09:39:46 AM
Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their guide dogs put them into position
 
2009-12-03 09:59:49 AM
I Said: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their guide dogs put them into position


That's a whole new twist on "doing it doggie-style"...
 
2009-12-03 10:18:04 AM
secretagentwang: I still can't figure out why some sites insist on creating pages called

"http://gawker.com/5417693/reverse-cowgirl-is-the-most-swine-flu-resistant-sex- p osition"

rather than "http://gawker.com/5417693/111afoi" or something like it. I'd love to be able to click on that link from work.


SEO - if the URL matches a search query, it's ranked higher - and Google counts dashes (and lots of other punctuation) as spaces.
 
2009-12-03 10:19:47 AM
I'm willing to bet using a "glory hole" is even safer...
 
2009-12-03 10:25:08 AM
xanadian: That's a whole new twist on "doing it doggie-style"...

nicely done.
 
2009-12-03 10:29:01 AM
Of course, if you don't trust the pussy...why are you farking the pussy?

/RIP Sam
 
2009-12-03 10:29:54 AM
Is the Reverse Cowgirl anything like the Bucking Cowboy?

/I like the Reverse Cowgirl myself.
//About the only C&W I'll dance to.
 
2009-12-03 11:21:24 AM
www.seinfeldonline.com

Thanks Cosmo!
 
2009-12-03 11:21:33 AM
ZAZ: Hands up now, how many Farkettes get their sex advice from Cosmo?

I believe this was the same publication that advised giving men an Indian burn on their dick as a way to "spice things up" several months back.
 
2009-12-03 11:24:53 AM
ne2d: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their disciples lead them in and they just do the rest?


You must have such a supple wrist.
 
2009-12-03 11:24:54 AM
Ugh. Go F yourself, cosmo.

Also, I was under the impression that you shed virus from all mucus membranes... seems like sex is the dumbest thing you can do if you don't want to spread the flu
 
2009-12-03 11:25:07 AM
www.cs.mcgill.ca
 
2009-12-03 11:25:44 AM
xanadian: I Said: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their guide dogs put them into position

That's a whole new twist on "doing it doggie-style"...


But the can't both watch X-Files!
 
2009-12-03 11:27:18 AM
DslainteC: This is why I always jizz into my elbow.

lol
wat?
 
2009-12-03 11:27:49 AM
Cagey B: ZAZ: Hands up now, how many Farkettes get their sex advice from Cosmo?

I believe this was the same publication that advised giving men an Indian burn on their dick as a way to "spice things up" several months back.


I glanced through a cosmo while standing in line at the supermarket recently. What bullshiat.
 
2009-12-03 11:29:01 AM
ThatGuyGreg: SEO - if the URL matches a search query, it's ranked higher - and Google counts dashes (and lots of other punctuation) as spaces.

It's also just nicer for a user to have clear URLs if you're looking through a history. Before Firefox introduced the "title in the URL history" thing, I hated sites that used numbers since it was impossible to remember the URLs of individual articles with text matching.
 
2009-12-03 11:29:47 AM
Cosmo is the bible of vapid skanks.
 
2009-12-03 11:29:48 AM
UNC_Samurai: ne2d: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their disciples lead them in and they just do the rest?

You must have such a supple wrist.


Thanks, Uncle Ernie!
 
2009-12-03 11:29:50 AM
Is rimming still ok?
 
2009-12-03 11:29:52 AM
xanadian: What's the matter, boy? I bet you squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig. Let's squeal. Squeal now.

I must admit, he does have a purty mouth.
 
2009-12-03 11:30:29 AM
Cagey B: ZAZ: Hands up now, how many Farkettes get their sex advice from Cosmo?

I believe this was the same publication that advised giving men an Indian burn on their dick as a way to "spice things up" several months back.


7 Sex Tips from Cosmo That Will Put You in the Hospital
 
2009-12-03 11:30:40 AM
Rats, I was hoping for "Retrograde Wheelbarrow"
 
2009-12-03 11:30:45 AM
Subby: Just in case you were wondering, Cosmo confirms that the Reverse Cowgirl is the safest sexual position if you're worried about catching swine flu.

If you're worried about breaking your penis in half though...

/not worried
 
2009-12-03 11:30:49 AM
airsupport: UNC_Samurai: ne2d: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their disciples lead them in and they just do the rest?

You must have such a supple wrist.

Thanks, Uncle Ernie!


How do you think he does it?

I don't know
 
2009-12-03 11:31:04 AM
So it's.. okay to go ATM?
 
2009-12-03 11:31:14 AM
Girl on top is the standard around my house, I'd say it's cowgirl-reverse cowgirl about 60%-40% of the time. She gets off quicker that way, I don't have to do much work, and the view is spectacular both ways (though I'd say, I prefer reverse when your girl has a gorgeous ass... mmm mmm mmm). Also you can suckle the nips when she's up cowgirl, and that's always a plus.

/Good round of doggy style last night for variety though
 
2009-12-03 11:31:42 AM
But I thought they said sex and kissing actually boosted the immune system?
 
2009-12-03 11:32:03 AM
I think I have swine flu, I feel like I want to eat corn from a bucket.
 
2009-12-03 11:32:39 AM
dogfood: Is rimming still ok?

Of course, there are no germs there.

/your wife told me this
 
2009-12-03 11:33:17 AM
ne2d: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their disciples lead them in and they just do the rest?


thatwoman.files.wordpress.com

/Doesn't see what you did there.
 
2009-12-03 11:33:29 AM
angry_scientist: airsupport: UNC_Samurai: ne2d: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their disciples lead them in and they just do the rest?

You must have such a supple wrist.

Thanks, Uncle Ernie!

How do you think he does it?

I don't know


What makes him so good?
 
2009-12-03 11:33:35 AM
Now what would be even more hilarious is if swine flu turned into a STD.

Also, as a woman, I'm going to have to agree with this review found in the article:

"This was obviously written by a man since it assumes absolutely no foreplay other than possibly a pre-coital bumping of fists and a light upper-arm squeeze before jumping right into the reverse cowgirl."
 
2009-12-03 11:33:40 AM
Pxtl: Cagey B: ZAZ: Hands up now, how many Farkettes get their sex advice from Cosmo?

I believe this was the same publication that advised giving men an Indian burn on their dick as a way to "spice things up" several months back.

7 Sex Tips from Cosmo That Will Put You in the Hospital


And then afterwards she'll use it as a joystick to make it feel better.

/giggity
 
2009-12-03 11:34:15 AM
angry_scientist: airsupport: UNC_Samurai: ne2d: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their disciples lead them in and they just do the rest?

You must have such a supple wrist.

Thanks, Uncle Ernie!

How do you think he does it?

I don't know


What makes him so good?
 
2009-12-03 11:34:27 AM
Some of these articles are written by interns, still in high school, who are virgins. This is a fact.
 
2009-12-03 11:34:51 AM
old_toole: angry_scientist: airsupport: UNC_Samurai: ne2d: Theaetetus: This raises an interesting question... how do deaf and blind people have sex?

Their disciples lead them in and they just do the rest?

You must have such a supple wrist.

Thanks, Uncle Ernie!

How do you think he does it?

I don't know

What makes him so good?


Plays by sense of smell REALLY fits here.
 
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