KatjaMouse: hitlersbrain: Movin' on up!

I would so totally live in a cave it was like that.

Maybe you should take your next vacation in Budapest =)

The idea of spending that much money brings back memories of "brewsters millions".

/loved that movie

Trance750: Donald_McRonald: lexnaturalis: I budget my income down to the penny and I'm very frugal. Even I wouldn't have the first clue what to do with that kind of money.

First of all, you'd have to stop planning your meals around the dollar menus of various fast food outlets.

No. Unless you want to be the one to piss away all of your winnings, the first thing you need to do is contact a good tax lawyer.

i hear hookers and blow are the way to go, though. ho. no?

poisonedpawn78: The idea of spending that much money brings back memories of "brewsters millions".

/loved that movie

Haha, that movie is such a guilty pleasure. "None of the Above".

And John Candy with that huge gold necklace.

Better not introduce them to the concept of wuv, then.

Qwigs: 'If this all works out it will certainly make up for the life we have had until now - all we really had was each other - no women would look at us living in a cave,' Geza said.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

I was going to make a comment on that myself, way to beat me to it. I guess the smell wouldn't really get to them, since they both smell about the same.

Step 1 for winning the lottery:

Get a lawyer/accountant team to accept the winnings on behalf of your trust. Do not let your name get out in the open.

Step 2:

If it gets out that you won the lottery, move to a new location for a year, live pretty frugally, and pay cash for everything. Do not attempt to do things that will get your name/address/new phone listed somewhere. Most people suggest a vacation in Europe. I find that any place works fine, as long as you're pretty far from where you used to be, and not forwarding your mail. (P.O. Boxes, not just for scammers)

Step 3:

Buy a house. Buy one that fits your lifestyle, and work with that. Don't forget to budget for Maintenance, repair work, maid service (if you're into that), alarm systems, new power bills, tax bills that are huge, and all that.

Step 4:

Help whoever you wanted to help with the money. Work with the tax guys and have everything on good legal standing. IRS can be a pain about that sort of thing.


Step 5:

Ignore solicitors, investors, and really really old friends. They don't know or like you well enough to be worth your time. And if they did, they can go through the friends you do like.

Ironically they have a better chance of finding true love as they are now (living in a cave) than they will with all that money.

Sure.. they will have their pick of women now.. not a damn one of them would have even given them a FIRST look, certainly not a second look before they inherieted this money.

My advice to them is don't even delude themselves into thinking they are going to find "love" now.. just use any women, who throw themselves at you, for sex, just like they are using you for money and DON'T EVER get married.

ear Friend,

I wish to approach you with a request that would be of immense benefit to
both of us. I am an attorney based in Scotland United Kingdom. I want you
and I to make some fortune out of a situation that I am obviously left
with no other better option. The issue that I am presenting to you is a
case of my client that willed a fortune to his only daughter. It is
unfortunate that he and his daughter died on the London Bomb attacks on 7
July 2005. The wife died of heart attack on receiving the sad news a week
after. I am now faced with a problem of getting a trusted person who I
will make the beneficiary that I would pass the fortune to. And according
to the law such fortune is supposed to be bequeathed to the government if
there is not any relatives or next-of-kin of the decease that would
surface for claim of the fortune.

However, I personally dont belong to such school of thought that proposes
that such fortune be given to the government because this is cheating and
is possible that the top government officials for their own selfish
interest could divert the fortune. Because of this I am contacting you to
seek your acting as the beneficiary of the will. I am my client attorney
and I alone knew about his will. Upon indication of your interests, all I
will do is to amend the will by fitting in your name as the supposed
next-of-kin and back it up with a sworn affidavit, which automatically
became valid. This amendment should be between us and must not leak out to
anyone. It is absolutely confidential.

I have complete information of his bank account details with an
outstanding balance of $48,550,000.00USD ($48.550 Million USD). To make
you be sure of this, I can provide you with details of his bank to enable
you to log on to his account to confirm this balance. I know that you
would be apprehensive and feel that this is a big sum, but it does not
matter because this is a legacy being passed on to a next-of-kin and you
are the available next-of-kin.

As I am not very sure of getting your consent yet on the issue, I prefer
not to divulge my full identity so as not to risk being disbarred. Until I
am sure of your consent and full cooperation then I will not be afraid to
give you my full identity. In the meanwhile, I would prefer that we
maintain correspondence by email and fax. At this point I want to assure
you that your true consent, full cooperation and confidentiality are all
that are required to enable us to take full advantage of this golden
opportunity.

I shall make representation to the legal courts to facilitate the
amendment process within three working days. Since this is a transaction
of immense benefit to both of us, I would want that we shared all expenses
according to our agreed sharing ratio of the fortune. The sharing ratio
shall be 60% for me and 40% for you. This shall also be applicable to all
expenditures that would be incurred in the course of the transaction
because I wouldn?t want either of us to feel cheated. Please note that
this is a legal and risk free transaction that does not in anyway hamper
the monetary laws of your country. It is an inheritance fund.

If you are interested to work with me, please provide me with your name,
address, nationality, age, and date of birth, height, and phone and fax
numbers as required for the amendment of the WILL. On completion of this,
I will send you a copy of the amended WILL which you will fax to the bank
with a back up letter written by your good self requesting for the release
of the fund to you. I will also write to the bank as the legal
representative of my client before his demise, ordering for the transfer
of the fund to you, as the beneficiary of his will.

I will appreciate your urgent response in this regard. Thanks for your
anticipated cooperation.You can as well reach me on m­ud­oock­al­la­wcom

Yours faithfully,
Kirk Murdock.

Hmm - all I can say about this story that is "right" is the fact that the grandmother had a will (plus the fact that inheritance laws in Germany seems to be somewhat "lax", what with the mother not having a will, etc).

My wife is leaving today to go back to my hometown in CA to secure my deceased mother's old house (I have to stay here in PHX to take care of our dog, house, and go to work); my mother had no will. So, probate has to occur in CA, and we've been informed that it is likely going to take a long time (anywhere from 6 months to 2 years!) and cost quite a bit (less that what we'll get when all is said 'n done, more than I want to spend, though).

So, we found out earlier this week that her house had been broken into and (likely) trashed. We had moved her from CA to AZ last October 2008, she died in July; we took all of the paperwork and such that we could find, but we couldn't take everything (furniture and other material things) - we don't know what the damage is. We don't really care, but we don't want anything to really go wrong (ie, major vandalism, or someone setting up a meth lab and burning the place down, that kind of thing).

So, my wife is going out to secure the house (board up the doors they broke down - my parents were cheap; they installed metal gates and such over ALL the windows and doors, except two; those were the two that were busted into, of course), but our lawyer there for probate told us to not do ANYTHING to increase the value of the estate (we were going to clean it up, etc; prep it to be sold) - because if we can keep the value of what is there below $100K, then we can do a summary probate, which will only take 6 months and only cost a small fortune; if it is over $100K, then it will take 2 years and cost a bigger small fortune. GRR...

So - the moral of the story: Get a will. Get a trust. Buy long-term care insurance (you will need it for the nursing home, etc - trust me on this). Do this for your parents. Do this for yourself. It will save your loved ones a lot of grief, anguish, and time when you die.

Ajanu: 2 billion is hard to "piss away" it's significatly more than any lottery winner has recieved.

I think I would buy a lot of land up north, as that land is going to be worth a lot more soon enough. After that it's a world tour for a few years, then probably build my own analytical chemistry company. Oh and I would have my own race track in the back yard of my 2nd home. All of these things would make me money though, and I don't think a bad blow habit woud come close to eating into the profits. Since money can't cure AIDS, and I like it to not burn when I pee, I'll steer clear of the hookers.

I agree on most parts (except maybe I would start a company I'd be interested in, as opposed to chemistry), except I'd have a personal race track at my primary home. Also, my primary home would be so large it'd have it's own ghettos.

Or, if I were these guys, I'd buy a mountain with caves, pimp out the caves, and build my own personal Nurburgring around the mountain.

But yeah, I think cars would be my biggest "vice". Maybe even buy into an F1 or GP2 team or some such if I felt like really potentially "wasting" or losing a lot of money.

Step 1 for winning the lottery (or any LARGE sum of cash - 10s of millions plus):


Have a "kiss my ass goodbye party". Invite only your closest family/friends to. You tell each family that you are setting up a trust for each one of them of somewhere between 100,000 to a million (depending upon how much money you came into) payable to them over a 5-20 year span (again, depending upon the amount of money). You, in NO unclear terms, tell them that they are to NEVER ask you for another penny.. and if they do.. their particular trust gets cut off.

Step 2:

Invest the rest and just live off the interest.. which may mean no big mansion, fancy cars, etc... you may even remain living in the same house you have now and driving the same car. But what you get out of it is you can quit the rat-race and just do whatever it is you want to do without worrying about makign a profit or deadlines or any of the other soul-crushing experiences of a regular job.

Headline made me smile submitter

Sounds like just enough money to find a way off this shiatty planet. Just pack my ship with pool boys and blow.

If I had that kind of money I'd clone my favorite dead people.

BeowulfSmith: xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.

Normally, this is very true. However, I don't think they could possibly spend enough to blow it all before they die.

If they follow true form of poor-to-rich people, they'll spend millions on houses, cars, parties, women, etc.

However, I doubt they could even put a dent in the interest from $7 billion. It usually takes a mega-corp or a government to waste that much money.

Think about it, what could they possibly buy that would come close to being a noticeable portion of that inheritance? A sports team? A small town? A telecom company? None of that is very likely.

Investments. Their "friends" come to them with pleas for money to invest in schemes of theirs, which will invariably fail or get siphoned.

xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.

Short of buying an aircraft carrier, I doubt they would even know how to spend $7B in a year. I sure as hell have no clue.

My wife's German grandmother died and the government tracked her down to tell her we would have had to pay off all her debts unless we waived the rights to her "inheritance" (apartment full of crap). I am not getting a kick out of these responses.

ImJustaTroll: Step 1 for winning the lottery:

My steps after winning big in the lottery:

1. Take no more than 10% of the winnings and have fun. Go crazy. Buy crap I don't need for myself, friends, and family. Get it out of my system.

2. Get a reliable investment manager and accountant to handle the rest.

3. Get a monthly allowance from the investments.

After the initial "go crazy" period, any purchases I wish to make must come out of my monthly allowance.

Magorn: xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.

You could spend your life doing nothing but buying things as fast as possible, and you would still have trouble spending the interest on $7 Billion, let alone even scratch the principle

It will be the lawyers and "financial advisors " that leach onto them that will put them back in the cave.

BeowulfSmith: xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.

Normally, this is very true. However, I don't think they could possibly spend enough to blow it all before they die.

If they follow true form of poor-to-rich people, they'll spend millions on houses, cars, parties, women, etc.

However, I doubt they could even put a dent in the interest from $7 billion. It usually takes a mega-corp or a government to waste that much money.

Think about it, what could they possibly buy that would come close to being a noticeable portion of that inheritance? A sports team? A small town? A telecom company? None of that is very likely.

I think AOL is for sale. That would pretty much take care of the $.

FTA: Normally the only way people of modest means come into a sudden fortune in Europe is through the lottery. Earlier this month, a group of call centre workers and a married couple jointly won Britain's largest lottery prize of £91 million.

I don't understand, does the Australian press not think that people have rich relatives in Europe, or do Australians just magically get rich for no reason ?

The Dread Pirate Robertson: I wish them the bestest, but I just can't shake the thought of that guy in WV who won something like $300M and had his life absolutely destroyed.

Woops. Found it.

Fools, money, etc.

Here's a big tip to all you future millionaires - if everybody knows you are rich, don't keep large sums of cash in your car. there are things called banks, use them.

also - don't take lump sums from lottery winnings.

too bad I won't have a chance to take my own advice :(

I find it really funny that their first line of thinking is, "Hey now we can get some chicks."

JohnnyShotMe: I find it really funny that their first line of thinking is, "Hey now we can get some chicks."

That's usually my first line of thinking. But then I realize I'm not rich, hot, or even willing to get off my ass and go look for some.

Khaotix: The Dread Pirate Robertson: I wish them the bestest, but I just can't shake the thought of that guy in WV who won something like $300M and had his life absolutely destroyed.

Woops. Found it.

Fools, money, etc.

Here's a big tip to all you future millionaires - if everybody knows you are rich, don't keep large sums of cash in your car. there are things called banks, use them.

also - don't take lump sums from lottery winnings.

too bad I won't have a chance to take my own advice :(

Indeed. It seems like the best financial planners are people who would never win the lottery have unknown rich relatives.

''If this all works out it will certainly make up for the life we have had until now - all we really had was each other - no women would look at us living in a cave,'' Geza said.

I have a feeling the Prostitution business in Budapest is about to be inundated with cash.
This caveman wants a blow job.

BeowulfSmith: Think about it, what could they possibly buy that would come close to being a noticeable portion of that inheritance? A sports team? A small town? A telecom company? None of that is very likely.

If I received that much money, I would buy a large amount of flat desert or salt plain in Utah or Arizona, hire a surveying team and some road crews, and paint a 1:1 scale map of Belgium or Switzerland. Blue for the rivers, dashed lines for internal borders, a big 20-mile wide star for the capital, the whole thing. That would really give Google Earth something to think about.

Cockpuncher to the Stars: If I received that much money, I would buy a large amount of flat desert or salt plain in Utah or Arizona, hire a surveying team and some road crews, and paint a 1:1 scale map of Belgium or Switzerland. Blue for the rivers, dashed lines for internal borders, a big 20-mile wide star for the capital, the whole thing. That would really give Google Earth something to think about.

You are officially my hero. If I find out I'm a distant relative of Warren Buffett, I'll give you a call and we can get mapping.

jojostarbuck: 'If this all works out it will certainly make up for the life we have had until now - all we really had was each other - no women would look at us living in a cave,' Geza said.

I have a feeling the Prostitution business in Budapest is about to be inundated with cash.
This caveman wants a blow job.

I'm pretty sure if you have that kind of money you'll just Tiger Woods a cocktail waitress.

Ajanu: Since money can't cure AIDS



begs to differ

Isn't "billion" in the UK / Australia the same a "million" in the USA?

The brothers have been informed they are entitled to their long-lost grandmother's fortune, along with a sister who lives in America.

"They are entitled to [...]'s fortune, along with a sister...".

I'm not sure I understand this sentence - are they entitled to their grandmother's sister, or their own?

Trick is the brothers have to spend 700 million in 30 days or they get nothing

I couldn't spend 7 billion, even with a call to John Deere saying one of everything please and several of some things. Hell you need one tractor for every implement you have. that way you don't waste time hooking and unhooking implements. Then there are 4 farms right next to each other I would love to own, around 1000 acres total. Of course theres major revamping and I could farm the rest of my life and there would still be money left over.

Quartlow: I couldn't spend 7 billion, even with a call to John Deere saying one of everything please and several of some things. Hell you need one tractor for every implement you have. that way you don't waste time hooking and unhooking implements. Then there are 4 farms right next to each other I would love to own, around 1000 acres total. Of course theres major revamping and I could farm the rest of my life and there would still be money left over.

We could be friends.