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(Smh.com.au) Interesting We're just simple cavemen, and this $7 billion inheritance frightens and confuses us   (smh.com.au) divider line 89
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26999 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2009 at 10:33 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2009-12-03 09:16:52 AM
Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.
 
2009-12-03 09:43:57 AM
nigerian princes are now german grandmothers?

we're on to them now
 
2009-12-03 09:45:06 AM
That's a shiatload of car insurance.
 
2009-12-03 10:15:48 AM
"When I see my image on the security camera at the country club, I wonder, are they stealing my soul? I get so upset, I hop out of my Range Rover, and run across the fairway to the clubhouse, where I get Carlos to make me one of those martinis he's so famous for, to soothe my primitive caveman brain."
 
2009-12-03 10:37:22 AM
scrapetv.com
Just let me be myself!
 
2009-12-03 10:38:24 AM
....and the movie rights were just bought. It will be called "Encino Man II: $7b boogaloo"
 
2009-12-03 10:38:25 AM
They were heard to exclaim to their fellow homeless buddies as they were whisked away by a limousine: "So long, suckers!"
 
2009-12-03 10:39:30 AM
xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.


Normally, this is very true. However, I don't think they could possibly spend enough to blow it all before they die.

If they follow true form of poor-to-rich people, they'll spend millions on houses, cars, parties, women, etc.

However, I doubt they could even put a dent in the interest from $7 billion. It usually takes a mega-corp or a government to waste that much money.

Think about it, what could they possibly buy that would come close to being a noticeable portion of that inheritance? A sports team? A small town? A telecom company? None of that is very likely.
 
2009-12-03 10:41:08 AM
Yeah, whatever. I got an email from a Nigerian prince that said the same thing. I sent him the $1000 he asked for, now I just need to wait for the wealth to come rolling in!
 
2009-12-03 10:42:20 AM
What's their sister's name?
 
2009-12-03 10:43:10 AM
"The grandmother's name has been kept secret to prevent fraudsters trying to cash in on the inheritance."

How many widowed billionaires with no living children and a sister in America could possibly have died in Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany in the past few years?
 
2009-12-03 10:43:33 AM
xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.


You could spend your life doing nothing but buying things as fast as possible, and you would still have trouble spending the interest on $7 Billion, let alone even scratch the principle
 
2009-12-03 10:45:04 AM
Assuming the $7b gets split equally among all 3 and earns 3.5% annually (so no stocks, just t-bills, CD's etc)

I calculate the interest alone, per individual is *drumroll* $1.5 million.... per week.... each.

/its good to be the king.
 
2009-12-03 10:46:03 AM
That is an incredible story! I, for one, wish them well.
How do I contact them? Surely they would spring for a lifetime TF membership for me...

drop in the bucket
 
2009-12-03 10:48:51 AM
Fizpez: Assuming the $7b gets split equally among all 3 and earns 3.5% annually (so no stocks, just t-bills, CD's etc)

I calculate the interest alone, per individual is *drumroll* $1.5 million.... per week.... each.

/its good to be the king.


Holy hell...That's just an unimaginable change of fortunes. I don't have any rich relatives, so I'm safe from such crazy life-upsetting events! Thank goodness!
 
2009-12-03 10:49:14 AM
This won't end well...
 
2009-12-03 10:49:18 AM
xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.


Them in 2011:

nobenjaminbutton.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-03 10:50:57 AM
hitlersbrain: xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.

Them in 2011:


Thank you!
one of my very favorite movies...

"and all I need is this ashtray"
 
2009-12-03 10:51:03 AM
hitlersbrain: xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.

Them in 2011:


I'd be absolutely stunned if they somehow managed to spend MORE than 1 million a week EVERY week, which wouldn't even be more than the interest.
 
2009-12-03 10:51:36 AM
$7 billion. Just the interest alone for 1 year would keep you buried in a mountain of hookers and blow for 5 lifetimes.
 
2009-12-03 10:52:07 AM
They act like living in a cave isn't that awesome.
 
2009-12-03 10:55:27 AM
xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.


Actually there is much truth in that. I have heard of people winning millions in a lottery, only to piss it all away within a timeframe of just a few years, and wind up owing even more than they actually won.

When was the last time you saw an educated person blow his entire paycheck on booze and lottery tickets (Ted Kennedy, aside)
 
2009-12-03 10:55:33 AM
Fizpez: Assuming the $7b gets split equally among all 3 and earns 3.5% annually (so no stocks, just t-bills, CD's etc)

I calculate the interest alone, per individual is *drumroll* $1.5 million.... per week.... each.

/its good to be the king.


I budget my income down to the penny and I'm very frugal. Even I wouldn't have the first clue what to do with that kind of money.
 
2009-12-03 10:56:23 AM
farm3.static.flickr.com

Diversify your portfolio with those billions
 
2009-12-03 10:57:02 AM
"But with money, maybe we can find a partner and finally have a normal life."

Son, you know nothing about women (or people in general) do you? With that kind of cash you'll have no trouble attracting a new "partner".
 
2009-12-03 10:58:08 AM
I would totally waste it on hookers (retaining systems for rocket launches) and blow (efficient launch fueling systems).
Wasting time (perfecting FTL communications) and playing video games (based on the live feed from the r/c moonbuggies).

Yep, I'm sure that's what I'd do. Odd are, though, they'll just go pick up a old Opel (corporation).
 
2009-12-03 10:58:48 AM
Dead for Tax Reasons: nigerian princes are now german grandmothers?

we're on to them now


came to point this out
 
2009-12-03 10:59:11 AM
www.skaryguyvideo.com
 
2009-12-03 10:59:28 AM
I can't find a picture and I'm not sure the quote is right but lets see who gets this "Try the big red bugs, they're delicious!"

obscure?
 
2009-12-03 11:00:05 AM
I wish them the bestest, but I just can't shake the thought of that guy in WV who won something like $300M and had his life absolutely destroyed.

Woops. Found it.
 
2009-12-03 11:00:34 AM
I bet that is going to be the most luxurious cave in the world once they hire some interior decorators. Osama will have nothing on them.
 
2009-12-03 11:01:23 AM
Good for them, the part about their grandmother being difficult and their parents who abondoned them kind makes this a sad story with a nice ending. I'm curious if their parents waited until they were 18 to tell them to get the fark out or if they dumped them as children and ran.
 
2009-12-03 11:02:17 AM
BeowulfSmith: xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.

Normally, this is very true. However, I don't think they could possibly spend enough to blow it all before they die.

If they follow true form of poor-to-rich people, they'll spend millions on houses, cars, parties, women, etc.

However, I doubt they could even put a dent in the interest from $7 billion. It usually takes a mega-corp or a government to waste that much money.

Think about it, what could they possibly buy that would come close to being a noticeable portion of that inheritance? A sports team? A small town? A telecom company? None of that is very likely.



What they don't spend will be taken from them if they don't kill themselves with it first.
 
2009-12-03 11:02:44 AM
"no women would look at us living in a cave,'' Geza said.

God bless you, fellas. I hope you get more ass than all the 007's put together. More than that, I hope you find someone that's going to love you and make you happy. Good for you.
 
2009-12-03 11:07:39 AM
lexnaturalis: Fizpez: Assuming the $7b gets split equally among all 3 and earns 3.5% annually (so no stocks, just t-bills, CD's etc)

I calculate the interest alone, per individual is *drumroll* $1.5 million.... per week.... each.

/its good to be the king.

I budget my income down to the penny and I'm very frugal. Even I wouldn't have the first clue what to do with that kind of money.


I would.
 
2009-12-03 11:09:06 AM
imgur.com
 
2009-12-03 11:09:30 AM
lexnaturalis: I budget my income down to the penny and I'm very frugal. Even I wouldn't have the first clue what to do with that kind of money.

First of all, you'd have to stop planning your meals around the dollar menus of various fast food outlets.
 
2009-12-03 11:10:49 AM
Donald_McRonald: lexnaturalis: I budget my income down to the penny and I'm very frugal. Even I wouldn't have the first clue what to do with that kind of money.

First of all, you'd have to stop planning your meals around the dollar menus of various fast food outlets.


No. Unless you want to be the one to piss away all of your winnings, the first thing you need to do is contact a good tax lawyer.
 
2009-12-03 11:11:11 AM
BeowulfSmith: If they follow true form of poor-to-rich people, they'll spend millions on houses, cars, parties, women, etc. However, I doubt they could even put a dent in the interest from $7 billion. It usually takes a mega-corp or a government to waste that much money.

They'll still wind up poor. People like to focus on the hookers n' blow, as that's a really good way to piss away millions.

However, a fortune of ANY size can be lost to an entire demograph of scum. Con men with sham investments, friends and relatives hooking up with lawyers, greedy local governments with a phone book's worth of obscure tax laws, etc. Not to mention, they'll be surrounded by opportunists of all kinds for the rest of their lives.

Next thing you know, the money's all tied up in court, and everyone except you has the knives out, carving up the pie that was supposed to be for you. Tragic, really.

The media publishing their names and photos will wind up being the worst thing to happen to them. The swarm is already moving.
 
2009-12-03 11:11:45 AM
Donald_McRonald: lexnaturalis: I budget my income down to the penny and I'm very frugal. Even I wouldn't have the first clue what to do with that kind of money.

First of all, you'd have to stop planning your meals around the dollar menus of various fast food outlets.


Dollar menus! Dollar menus! Pure luxury I plan all my meals around what I can buy at Big Lots or Food Savers, Food Savers sort of like Aldi's only cheaper. Let me tell you I can feed myself for less then $35 a week and on a good week I splurge for meat.
 
2009-12-03 11:12:23 AM
Is the sister hot?
 
2009-12-03 11:12:41 AM
Meh,

There are parts of my family that are loaded. But by the time the family members that made the money die off, my only hope is the boomers (aka my parent's generation) soon follow. Lest I inherit gold plated dentures, teak bedpans, over-leveraged mansions and underwater bentleys.
 
2009-12-03 11:14:15 AM
lexnaturalis: I budget my income down to the penny and I'm very frugal. Even I wouldn't have the first clue what to do with that kind of money.

There was a "what would you do with a billion" thread on Fark a while ago.

My idea was to buy up all those abandoned properties in Detroit, have them re-zoned, and turn Detroit back into forest. I think it'd be hilarious to have the center of a hollowed-out city filled with a forest growing like a green cancer until you can see the death of Detroit from space. Plus, it'll make the tree-huggers happy.
 
2009-12-03 11:25:28 AM
Movin' on up!

dontai.com
 
2009-12-03 11:25:52 AM
I would probably blow the money on underage transexual midget thai hookers and blow.
 
2009-12-03 11:28:20 AM
hitlersbrain: Movin' on up!

I would so totally live in a cave it was like that.
 
2009-12-03 11:30:34 AM
dragonchild: There was a "what would you do with a billion" thread on Fark a while ago.

My idea was to buy up all those abandoned properties in Detroit, have them re-zoned, and turn Detroit back into forest.


FTFRecessionPricing
 
2009-12-03 11:31:29 AM
2 billion is hard to "piss away" it's significatly more than any lottery winner has recieved.

I think I would buy a lot of land up north, as that land is going to be worth a lot more soon enough. After that it's a world tour for a few years, then probably build my own analytical chemistry company. Oh and I would have my own race track in the back yard of my 2nd home. All of these things would make me money though, and I don't think a bad blow habit woud come close to eating into the profits. Since money can't cure AIDS, and I like it to not burn when I pee, I'll steer clear of the hookers.
 
2009-12-03 11:32:12 AM
BeowulfSmith: xanadian: Mark my words. They'll have spent all that cash on hookers and blow (and probably fast cars and other trappings of luxury) by 2011.

Poor people don't know how to handle money. That's part of the reason why they're poor.

Normally, this is very true. However, I don't think they could possibly spend enough to blow it all before they die.

If they follow true form of poor-to-rich people, they'll spend millions on houses, cars, parties, women, etc.

However, I doubt they could even put a dent in the interest from $7 billion. It usually takes a mega-corp or a government to waste that much money.

Think about it, what could they possibly buy that would come close to being a noticeable portion of that inheritance? A sports team? A small town? A telecom company? None of that is very likely.


They seem intent on getting married now. Maybe a foolish shotgun wedding with no prenups, followed by a divorce in which they lose half?

Other than that, I don't think they'll be able to scratch 7 billion.
 
2009-12-03 11:32:52 AM
KatjaMouse: hitlersbrain: Movin' on up!

I would so totally live in a cave it was like that.


Maybe you should take your next vacation in Budapest =)
 
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