FARK.com: (4817530) Possibly the world's first win-win outcome from a bride's insatiable desire to have her dream wedding at any cost. "You want 200 white roses? Then go get the handicam..."

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Possibly the world's first win-win outcome from a bride's insatiable desire to have her dream wedding at any cost. "You want 200 white roses? Then go get the handicam..." (themercury.com.au)		152
		More: Spiffy, Cancun, marriage, Cheshire, X-rated, fairytale, full name

• • •

39380 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2009 at 12:07 AM | Favorite | share:

more» |

Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends!

shirt it!

Share this link:

URL:

http://fk.cm/go/4817530

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

152 Comments (+0 »)

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

iamgoz

2009-12-02 07:03:53 PM

Well what the heck? Good for them. My fiance and I have gone the other route. J.O.P. on Friday, party on Saturday, hop a plane to Hawaii on Sunday. Why go into debt for a legal cerimony when the money's better spent enjoying our first days as man and wife?

GAT_00

2009-12-02 07:12:09 PM

iamgoz: Why go into debt for a legal cerimony when the money's better spent enjoying our first days as man and wife?

My roommate is getting married before too long, and I told him to save money, just have the reception to be a giant cookoff with burgers, hot dogs and a couple kegs. I got everyone on my side, including the pastors (uncle of bride and father of groom), except the bride.

Joelogon

2009-12-02 07:32:15 PM

Oooh, baby...

img.thesun.co.uk

what_now

2009-12-02 09:14:31 PM

Um...I've watched a lot of Bridezilla (shut up, it's amusing)..

I wouldn't want to see ANY of those people naked.

bullwinkl

2009-12-02 09:15:10 PM

I was married once to a sweet little thing from Guinea-Bissau and we made a movie of our exploits in the sack. Well, I did anyway. She found out about it when she saw I was advertising a screening in the paper, and she came at me with a knife yelling and shiat, but I wrestled it away from her and started hitting her with a rolled-up newspaper which got me in even more trouble, because she sued me because she was a lawyer and all, and one of those uber-feminist types and she said that me hitting her with the rolled-up newspaper was symbolic of the plight of subjugated women around the globe, and she took all my money and moved in with Mark who's a farking podiatrist. A farkING PODIATRIST!! He's got nothing on me, because I work from home and I make $3000 for every 9 hours of work I put in using the "System" and I can help you make that kind of money too, but you have to buy my tapes and I sell shampoo and all that shiat too, but I'm not a good salesman for beauty products since the fire but I'm cool to rent for Halloween parties and stuff and I'm totally not a registered sex offender. The moral of the story is that if your feet hurt, go see Mark, and I'll give you $10 if you kick him in the nuts for me.

/Thus ends my day of stream-of-consciousness semi-related-to-the-thread stories.

thepostess

2009-12-02 09:21:00 PM

Is this where I say, "Cool story bro"?

bullwinkl

2009-12-02 10:05:48 PM

thepostess: Is this where I say, "Cool story bro"?

If you like, go right ahead. Today was a good day for me to vent pent-up bullshiat.

Theaetetus

2009-12-02 10:52:30 PM

Sounds haw- AHHHHH! Do not want!

Theaetetus

2009-12-02 10:53:07 PM

iamgoz: Why go into ~~debt~~ deabt for a legal cerimony

Sorry, pet peeve.

TommyymmoT

2009-12-02 10:59:22 PM

Joelogon: Oooh, baby...

Holy crap, are you serious?
I would pay to NOT see her naked.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener

2009-12-02 11:44:16 PM

From director Kevin Smith: Zack and Miri Resent My Eyeballs.

CravenMorehead

2009-12-03 12:08:45 AM

$2000 from three films? You're doing it wrong.

The All-Powerful Atheismo

2009-12-03 12:09:19 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: From director Kevin Smith: Zack and Miri Resent My Eyeballs.

Did they have trouble sending them the first time around?

The All-Powerful Atheismo

2009-12-03 12:10:02 AM

CravenMorehead: $2000 from three films? You're doing it ~~wrong~~.

Or they're just doing it.

Rickerkioz

2009-12-03 12:10:05 AM

power to 'em...fark the puritans. life's too short to be uptight

ace in your face

2009-12-03 12:10:43 AM

what_now: Um...I've watched a lot of Bridezilla (shut up, it's amusing)..

I wouldn't want to see ANY of those people naked.

That show really attracts fat dumb biatches. Almost every wedding on it is tacky as hell. Its like "my big redneck wedding" only they aren't TRYING to be trashy which makes it that much more real and hilarious.

I don't think any of them would look good naked. But the personalities don't help.

Juniper Jupiter

2009-12-03 12:13:11 AM

She's not wearing a WHITE dress, is she?

Whores shouldn't wear white...especially if they've already had children.

/Yes, I said it. She's a whore.
//I'm no better...but I've never been in porn, either.

Slartibartfaster

2009-12-03 12:13:17 AM

TommyymmoT: I would pay to NOT see her naked

There are two types of people in my perfect world
Invoicers
and Invoicees

My capitalist dream relies on people like you
and may your god bless you

// 200 bucks, Ill send you my DVD on how not to click on her link
/ Ill give you 50 bucks in return, because I know you will want to come back for my product
/ just fill in your credit card details and ignore the small print

Theaetetus

2009-12-03 12:15:53 AM

ace in your face: That show really attracts fat dumb biatches. Almost every wedding on it is tacky as hell. Its like "my big redneck wedding" only they aren't TRYING to be trashy which makes it that much more real and hilarious.

Back when my wife and I were planning our wedding, the Food Network had a week's worth of wedding shows. One involved a couple- read: Bridezilla- who wanted a Disney-style Cinderella wedding, complete with a pumpkin carriage, Disney furries walking around, and a Cinderella dress.
And, this being the Food Network, they discussed the food... They wanted it to be classy, so rather than having their 500 guests choose between the filet mignon and the lobster tail, they got everyone surf 'n turf.

I hate you people so much.

Jaakobi

2009-12-03 12:15:55 AM

hey, you can't argue with results.

Slartibartfaster

2009-12-03 12:16:13 AM

Juniper Jupiter: She's not wearing a WHITE dress, is she?

Whores shouldn't wear white...especially if they've already had children.

/Yes, I said it. She's a whore.
//I'm no better...but I've never been in porn, either.

So you're the more bark a fark kinda crowd ?

Yer only a whore if you charge prior.
After - yer a wench

// Not impartial to either

Hamilton_G_Fantomas

2009-12-03 12:16:57 AM

/Gah.

bhcompy

2009-12-03 12:18:07 AM

As soon as I read that headline I said it had to be porn, and voila, it was porn.

Loren

2009-12-03 12:18:12 AM

iamgoz: Well what the heck? Good for them. My fiance and I have gone the other route. J.O.P. on Friday, party on Saturday, hop a plane to Hawaii on Sunday. Why go into debt for a legal cerimony when the money's better spent enjoying our first days as man and wife?

JotP followed by lunch for us. No honeymoon (we couldn't really afford it then). The only relatives that could come were my parents anyway--visas would have been quite problematic for her relatives.

What's the point in going to some fancy location when what's most interesting is your partner anyway??

TheLopper

2009-12-03 12:18:49 AM

Whoever wins, we loose.

Slartibartfaster

2009-12-03 12:19:48 AM

Hamilton_G_Fantomas: /Gah.
He aint THAT bad

ok he has that neanderthal brow bridge thing...
receeding hairline....

and there is that whole "being british" thing

but really.... he aint THAT bad

// oh did you mean the crooked tooth alien wombat he sticks his dick into ? oh ok.... yea... GAH !!!

Juniper Jupiter

2009-12-03 12:20:49 AM

Slartibartfaster: Juniper Jupiter: She's not wearing a WHITE dress, is she?

Whores shouldn't wear white...especially if they've already had children.

/Yes, I said it. She's a whore.
//I'm no better...but I've never been in porn, either.

So you're the more bark a fark kinda crowd ?

Yer only a whore if you charge prior.
After - yer a wench

// Not impartial to either

Well, I AM an unpaid wench...at least that's what Hubby tells me! :D

/Married by JoP...in a blue dress.

valanienna

2009-12-03 12:21:09 AM

How many pornos to fix her teeth?

Harry_Seldon

2009-12-03 12:22:21 AM

I went to a wedding where the father of the bride got a $100,000 second mortgage to pay for the best wedding reception I ever attended. It was in the Grand Ballroom on the Queen Mary in Long Beach, CA. It was like stepping into another era.

Personally, I am completely in favor of other people going into heavy debt so I can attend a wonderful wedding reception.

Satan's Cheese Cancer

2009-12-03 12:22:34 AM

Loren: iamgoz: No honeymoon

Hell we skipped the wedding portion and went straight for honeymoon (Maui). Mom-in-law still angry at me for it

/doin it right
//only thing I've ever done right

ninjakirby

2009-12-03 12:22:58 AM

Speaking as a person who did the behind the scenes processing for an adult company, $2,000 for three videos is pretty farking good.

eraser8

2009-12-03 12:24:19 AM

So, they've done three films and earned $2000. They plan on doing four more to finance their dream wedding?

Either they're expecting these next films to do far, far better than the first three or they're planning on having the cheapest dream wedding in the history of the world.

No Catchy Nickname

2009-12-03 12:24:35 AM

As someone who recently paid vast sums of money in October on a wedding bash, I am really getting a kick out of these replies...

Actually, in Japan, the guests sort of pay for the wedding, so we pretty much broke even.
I wanted to do a giant barbecue, like Gat_00 mentioned, but the Missus said no:(

SirEattonHogg

2009-12-03 12:24:37 AM

Joelogon [TotalFark] Quote 2009-12-02 07:32:15 PM
Oooh, baby...

"I give you Britannia! Freshen your drink, guv'nor?"

Yikes. I'm not seeing them making much money off films. Looks is not their strong point. But, uh... good luck with that.

Slartibartfaster

2009-12-03 12:25:21 AM

Juniper Jupiter: Well, I AM an unpaid wench...at least that's what Hubby tells me! :D

/Married by JoP...in a blue dress

Tell him to up the rate, or you are open to fark bidding !!!

My wife wore a brown velvet gown, circa 14th century Celtic, married in the forest, back to back with the knot tied, SHE WAS STUNNING
and ... I was more than aware the white dress was not appropriate, BEFORE I started proving the point

but no really - unpaid ?!? he knows there is competition right ? (or at least those willing to pay more with really low res jpegs in the offering post)

Notabunny

2009-12-03 12:25:32 AM

Rickerkioz: power to 'em...fark the puritans. life's too short to be uptight

Correct.

I'll bet they're a fun couple to know. I'll bet that when we're all old and gray, those two will have the best stories to tell at the retirement home.

Fuller

2009-12-03 12:25:53 AM

The process of removing weeds from ones garden

darkscout

2009-12-03 12:28:09 AM

I'm at an Indian Wedding in India right now. (Day 2 of 3) so I'm getting a kick.

Not even on the show bridezillas have I seen such an overdone ceremony. Holy hell. The 3 mile procession with him on a white horse, with music playing and people walking with lamps on their head. Then the few hundred thousand flowers, catered food for 1200. Absolute insanity. The dress that was bedazzled to 40 lbs.

Night 1 the engagement party rocked. It was closer to the reception in the US. Big ceremony, then the little cousins got on stage and a Bollywood movie broke out. After a while it was just a techno rave. Finally the 6 white people got up on stage and wowed them with such moves as the worm, a robot, lawn mower and to top it off the Macarena. Every person in the crowd with a cell phone had it out doing photos and movies. After that the kids thought we were amazing.

And so far I've only escaped with a partially missing finger tip because a fan was missing a few guards and I wasn't paying attention trying to cool off and a mild electrical shock from just touching a lamp.

eraser8

2009-12-03 12:28:10 AM

SirEattonHogg: Yikes. I'm not seeing them making much money off films. Looks is not their strong point. But, uh... good luck with that.

Well, you don't have to be a really good looking guy to do well in porn. Just have a big dick that stays hard and you're set. The woman is what's important.

And this woman is...just...awful. I can't imagine spending money to see what's under her clothes.

Slartibartfaster

2009-12-03 12:28:18 AM

SirEattonHogg: I'm not seeing them making much money off films. Looks is not their strong point. But

google Milf, BBW, amateur, webcam, share my, etc... ah dude, screw it
REALLY ?!? you think porn requires good looks ?

When was the last time you paid for porn ? was is for naked supermodels ? cuz if it was, Id like to send you my paypal account, I can totally hook you up

gourmet_emu

2009-12-03 12:30:04 AM

yeah its hard to make money on something all of us can just go out and find for free anyways

capnmonkey

2009-12-03 12:32:35 AM

gourmet_emu: yeah its hard to make money on something all of us can just go out and find for free anyways

Dude, you're confused, you obviously think you're posting on your rich www.richhandsomeandsuccessful.com account, check again brother, this is www.fark.com

calbert

2009-12-03 12:32:41 AM

/gahhhhhh!

SRC-NJ

2009-12-03 12:32:58 AM

This is a sad story. The marital relationship should be kept private between the people involved. Even if these two don't respect the sacredness of it, we should have the decency to turn away. It's not about being puritanical, it's the opposite: sex is about love more than it's about pleasure, and porn completely robs it of that, making the participants' bodies into your plaything. It's sad.

There, I said it. Carry on.

de_Selby

2009-12-03 12:33:36 AM

iamgoz: Well what the heck? Good for them. My fiance and I have gone the other route. J.O.P. on Friday, party on Saturday, hop a plane to Hawaii on Sunday. Why go into debt for a legal cerimony when the money's better spent enjoying our first days as man and wife?

I understand your point, but traditionally, and by that I mean most of history, marriage has not been about the happiness of a couple.

And moreover, the wedding ceremony and feast has traditionally acted as a public statement of the couple's commitment to each other in front of society, whether that is just their families, or expanded beyond that.

fappomatic

2009-12-03 12:35:13 AM

Notabunny: Rickerkioz: power to 'em...fark the puritans. life's too short to be uptight

Correct.

I'll bet they're a fun couple to know. I'll bet that when we're all old and gray, those two will have the best ~~stories to tell~~ orgies at the retirement home.

FTFM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener

2009-12-03 12:38:31 AM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Did they have trouble sending them the first time around?

:-/

Very cornea.

uberdose

2009-12-03 12:38:59 AM

bullwinkl: I was married once to a sweet little thing from Guinea-Bissau and we made a movie of our exploits in the sack. Well, I did anyway. She found out about it when she saw I was advertising a screening in the paper, and she came at me with a knife yelling and shiat, but I wrestled it away from her and started hitting her with a rolled-up newspaper which got me in even more trouble, because she sued me because she was a lawyer and all, and one of those uber-feminist types and she said that me hitting her with the rolled-up newspaper was symbolic of the plight of subjugated women around the globe, and she took all my money and moved in with Mark who's a farking podiatrist. A farkING PODIATRIST!! He's got nothing on me, because I work from home and I make $3000 for every 9 hours of work I put in using the "System" and I can help you make that kind of money too, but you have to buy my tapes and I sell shampoo and all that shiat too, but I'm not a good salesman for beauty products since the fire but I'm cool to rent for Halloween parties and stuff and I'm totally not a registered sex offender. The moral of the story is that if your feet hurt, go see Mark, and I'll give you $10 if you kick him in the nuts for me.

/Thus ends my day of stream-of-consciousness semi-related-to-the-thread stories.

Is this from something? If not, you should be writing scripts. farking hilarious!

Slartibartfaster

2009-12-03 12:40:21 AM

capnmonkey: Dude, you're confused, you obviously think you're posting on your rich www.richhandsomeandsuccessful.com account, check again brother, this is www.fark.com

you have to be rich, handsome, and successful to find free porn nowdays ?

http://www.foobies.com (new window)

(new window)

You dont have to be handsome, pretty, or even gag free to make porn
You dont have to be rich to buy it
But if you can make money off it !?!? GOOD FOR YOU !!! (some people even make money by sitting back and letting other people post links to other sites that are not related just to sell banner advertizing, no really, it happens)

MadCat221

2009-12-03 12:41:08 AM