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(CNN) Weird Dad brings home full-size Barbie for daughter's Christmas gift. Soon, she starts moving around on her own, causing car accidents, frightening contractors and inducing gallstones. Then it gets weird   (cnn.com) divider line 130
More: Weird, My Size Barbie, Joan of Arc, Mercedes-Benz, evil zombie, Salvation Army, Christmas Eve, U.N. Security Council, highlights  
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38521 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2009 at 9:04 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



130 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-02 06:33:19 PM
Far more mysteriously, her undergarments are often found in disarray with no logical explanation.
 
2009-12-02 06:36:47 PM
FTA: Mark Leyner is the author of eight books, including "Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini."

Ah, well that explains much.
 
2009-12-02 07:06:43 PM
Well, THAT'S not what I'd call "routine."
Why Christmas, and not Halloween?
This Barbie's upheaval
Just whispers of evil.
(And by the way, this is my Green.)

/subby
 
2009-12-02 07:08:25 PM
What a fantastically fake story.
 
2009-12-02 07:42:45 PM
this is the stupidest story I've ever heard. just throw the damn doll out.
 
2009-12-02 07:43:59 PM
Katie98_KT: this is the stupidest story I've ever heard. just throw the damn doll out.

I like this story....

and where have you been, young lady?
 
2009-12-02 07:44:43 PM
Magical ghost or prank prone child? As your standard Oprah viewer, I'm going to have to go with "Magical ghost child pulling pranks"
 
2009-12-02 08:30:38 PM
I think I directed this story in college...

No, really. The Other Woman by Casey Kelly. Great one act...
 
2009-12-02 09:08:26 PM
Yeah....I heard this one before...Talking Tina from the original Twilight Zone...scary as hell.

/Tell em Telly sent ya!
 
2009-12-02 09:09:52 PM
Is that what a three-foot My Size Barbie might look like?
 
2009-12-02 09:10:08 PM
I'll read anything from oprah.com!
 
2009-12-02 09:10:10 PM
"Dad brings home full-size Barbie"

...am I the only one who first thought dad brought home a Realdoll?
 
2009-12-02 09:10:12 PM
So *that's* what happened to Paris Hilton!
 
2009-12-02 09:10:22 PM
The headline was better than the article.

/Is there a name for that syndrome on FARK?
 
2009-12-02 09:10:25 PM
Bullshiat tag needed, but unavailable.
 
2009-12-02 09:10:36 PM
Katie98_KT: this is the stupidest story I've ever heard. just throw the damn doll out.

It's from Oprah.com. Did you expect anything better?
 
2009-12-02 09:11:42 PM
i46.tinypic.com
Insists he had nothing to do with it.

/and will eat your soul with fava beans
 
2009-12-02 09:15:13 PM
Shoot the doll in the head.
 
2009-12-02 09:15:15 PM
i2.ytimg.com

This is relevant to my interests...
 
2009-12-02 09:15:16 PM
simpsons.ugo.com
 
2009-12-02 09:15:24 PM
i621.photobucket.com

Approves of this shenanigans.

/Met him in person.
 
2009-12-02 09:15:42 PM
MaxxLarge: Well, THAT'S not what I'd call "routine."
Why Christmas, and not Halloween?
This Barbie's upheaval
Just whispers of evil.
(And by the way, this is my Green.)

/subby


Awesome. Kudos.
 
2009-12-02 09:15:47 PM
I just deflate mine when it starts acting up.
 
2009-12-02 09:16:53 PM
came for the Treehouse of Horrors reference, leaving happy.
 
2009-12-02 09:17:06 PM
three-foot My Size Barbie

Realdoll for midgets
 
2009-12-02 09:17:21 PM
The_Sponge: Approves of this shenanigans.

/Met him in person.


Do cameras really fark up in the room where he's kept? That's what I've heard, anyway. That he's hard to photograph and that they keep candy in his case to make sure he comes back if he wanders off.
 
2009-12-02 09:19:15 PM
Pam Anderson trifecta, by way of The Toy, in play?
 
2009-12-02 09:21:05 PM
"I want to PLAY!"
 
2009-12-02 09:21:08 PM
unrealitymag.com


You're welcome for the inevitable nightmares.
 
2009-12-02 09:22:03 PM
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-02 09:22:35 PM
i178.photobucket.com

Anyone remember this from Conan a few months ago?
 
2009-12-02 09:22:59 PM
jbrooks544: is this the doll?

/hot as barbie


You ever visit http://www.dollforum.com/?

That's some weird shiat right there, lemme tell you.
I thought furries had a strange fetish... What's weirder than people dressing up as stuffed animals? Grown men playing house with giant dolls, that's what.

TFA was lame, btw.
 
2009-12-02 09:24:11 PM
Ringshadow: The_Sponge: Approves of this shenanigans.

/Met him in person.

Do cameras really fark up in the room where he's kept? That's what I've heard, anyway. That he's hard to photograph and that they keep candy in his case to make sure he comes back if he wanders off.



My girlfriend's camera worked just fine. However, the myth surrounding Robert says that you need to ask his permission before you take his picture...otherwise, the pic won't turn out, or the entire roll of film could be farked as well.

We were there about a year ago, and it felt silly for two grown adults to ask a doll for permission before snapping a pic. But why tempt fate? Besides, in that exhibit, they have apology letters addressed to Robert...apparently, some people experienced a streak of bad luck when they got home.

Side note:

I highly recommend the Ghost Tour in Key West. They give you the full story of Robert the Doll. However, you won't see him on the tour....he's kept in a museum close to the airport.
 
2009-12-02 09:24:31 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

You don't say?
 
2009-12-02 09:25:07 PM
geniusiknowit: You ever visit http://www.dollforum.com/?

Oh man. That is some seriously creepy stuff.
 
2009-12-02 09:25:41 PM
jdog71: Anyone remember this from Conan a few months ago?


No.

/Still creeped out, though.
//I'd rather spend the night with the Tom Cruise wax figure.
///Whoops....that doesn't sound right.
 
2009-12-02 09:26:51 PM
Gaby exuberantly unwrapped the My Size Barbie, immediately and inexplicably christening the doll Jessica Lynn Cohen. Why that oddly specific appellation, with its country-western triple cadence, we'll never know.

Silly writer, there's no such thing as a Jewish country star.

/Not many Jewish dolls either.
 
2009-12-02 09:27:22 PM
Did someone say Real-life Barbies?

evasitoe.files.wordpress.com


3.bp.blogspot.com



/tried the mac barbie makeup-line
//yes, I did look like a doll that people told me I looked "plastic and fake like barbie"
///slashies are fun!
 
2009-12-02 09:28:12 PM
kaminariko: The headline was better than the article.

/Is there a name for that syndrome on FARK?


The name of that syndrome *is* Fark.
 
2009-12-02 09:28:32 PM
First line FTFA:

(OPRAH.com)

...aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, we're done.

/It's not news, it's CNN.com
 
2009-12-02 09:29:14 PM
My name is talking Tina, and I'm going to kill you.
 
2009-12-02 09:29:50 PM
Katie98_KT: this is the stupidest story I've ever heard. just throw the damn doll out.

THIS
 
2009-12-02 09:30:23 PM
The Article (Short Version): Overly superstitious and paranoid copy writer realizes he's got a deadline fast approaching and so ties a string of disparate and unconnected 'incidents' to a stupid farking piece of plastic he bought his spoiled snowflake a few years ago and she quickly discarded. You're welcome.

And I'm stunned nobody pointed out this gem: "We tried finding a new home for her. A friend -- a single guy without kids -- finally agreed to take her in."

Please tell me they at least made him wash her off first? WTF is wrong with THAT dude.
 
2009-12-02 09:30:35 PM
EdNortonsTwin: My name is talking Tina, and I'm going to kill you.

You're late to the party
 
2009-12-02 09:30:56 PM
cowsspinach:

/tried the mac barbie makeup-line
//yes, I did look like a doll that people told me I looked "plastic and fake like barbie"


The "Hello Kitty" line was cuter. :)
 
2009-12-02 09:31:52 PM
jbrooks544: is this the doll?



/hot as barbie


If that's the doll send her my way.
 
2009-12-02 09:31:57 PM
So you used the doll for pranks due to her appearing creepy, you developed a sense of unease due to the doll being used for pranks, and you now attribute bad scenarios to the doll due to developing a sense of unease due to using the creepy doll for pranks.
 
2009-12-02 09:32:12 PM
hmmm, this makes sense. I got my ex-boyfriend's daughter one of those Barbie heads for Christmas one year, the kind where you can do her hair and put on makeup, and when she opened it, she started screaming. I thought at the time it was because she thought I'd murdered and beheaded Barbie, but now I know she had reason to fear...
 
2009-12-02 09:32:54 PM
Needlessly Complicated:

The "Hello Kitty" line was cuter. :)

I agree with you on that!
 
2009-12-02 09:33:52 PM
Came for the evil Krusty doll refs. Leaving happy.

/You think your dirty socks can stop me?! Well, they are...making me...dizzy...ugh!
 
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