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(Houston Chronicle) Asinine You're caught with a protected Black Bear's head in your front lawn and its paws rotting in your car. Do you c) start calling yourself Chief Broken Eagle and claim that you are making a sacred choker with the teeth?   (chron.com) divider line 48
More: Asinine, Menard County Attorney Ben Neel, Chief Broken Eagle, Alan Teague, Central Texas, restitution, Houston Chronicle, possessions, rifles  
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4052 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2009 at 6:36 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-12-02 06:37:16 PM
More like Cheif Dumbass! It's fake indians like this that give real indians a bad name.
 
2009-12-02 06:37:22 PM
That'd fetch a fine price in China. You could trade for 2, maybe 3 babies even.
 
2009-12-02 06:39:08 PM
WTS [Sacred Choker] x1 PST
 
2009-12-02 06:40:23 PM
d) bask in the awesomeness and pure animal insticts of dancing around in it's head.
 
2009-12-02 06:40:53 PM
katghoti: More like Cheif Dumbass! It's fake indians like this that give real indians a bad name.

thescroogereport.files.wordpress.com

Right on brother!
 
2009-12-02 06:41:17 PM
EvilBillGates: WTS [Sacred Choker] x1 PST

You're not going to get much, it's only a green.

/Recovering WoW addict
//3 years sober.
 
2009-12-02 06:42:02 PM
Should have blamed it on his brother, Crazy Talk.
 
2009-12-02 06:42:27 PM
i180.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-02 06:42:51 PM
"I'm the low man on the totem pole"

/*facepalm*
 
2009-12-02 06:43:16 PM
FTFA: "They're coming, they're coming," Garner said. "They're swimming the Red River, they're swimming the Sabine."

I believe Colbert has been warning us for quite some time.
 
2009-12-02 06:43:23 PM
Chief Widened Anus.
 
2009-12-02 06:43:55 PM
Claws, not teeth. Maybe fangs.
 
2009-12-02 06:45:45 PM
Why Is "Black Bear" Capitalized In That Headline. Did They Kill A Chief Or Something?
 
2009-12-02 06:46:19 PM
sand_in_my_vagoo: EvilBillGates: WTS [Sacred Choker] x1 PST

You're not going to get much, it's only a green.

/Recovering WoW addict
//3 years sober.


Hah, I've been clean for a while, but WoW did just offer a free week... Wish I knew how to add purple text.
 
2009-12-02 06:47:01 PM
How about D.) Drop your pants and start farking it's lifeless carcass on the front lawn of a daycare ?
 
2009-12-02 06:49:09 PM
fappomatic: How about D.) Drop your pants and start farking it's lifeless carcass on the front lawn of a daycare ?

You're only supposed to do that with dogs, silly!
 
2009-12-02 06:49:13 PM
"I'm the low man on the totem pole."

I would think the bear is lower on the totem pole than he is.
 
2009-12-02 06:49:18 PM
So they were actually stupid enough to feel a random black bear was a threat? They got some real woodsmen there in Texas...
 
2009-12-02 06:49:38 PM
Bears? Now you've put the whole station at risk!
 
2009-12-02 06:50:08 PM
Way to go, Two Dogs Farking.
 
2009-12-02 06:51:15 PM
"rotting bear's head on a red ant mound"

There's an image for a david lynch film..
 
2009-12-02 06:51:27 PM
He said he planned to pull the bear's teeth from its skull and add them to a choker, enabling the bear to imbue him with an accumulated vigor.

Great plan Chief Dripping Faucet.
 
2009-12-02 06:53:39 PM
I always see one of the big cultural differences between East and West (as I'm from inbetween the border of the two) is the West is very sentimental for animals and the east is not. In turkey I think we are between the two ways of thinking. Most people from outside Europe and US I doubt would care if a dangerous animal died and for sure there would be no laws to protect the creature or the punish the person that kills them.
 
2009-12-02 06:54:28 PM
TomD9938: He said he planned to pull the bear's teeth from its skull and add them to a choker, enabling the bear to imbue him with an accumulated vigor.

Great plan Chief Dripping Faucet.


The dude imbues.
 
2009-12-02 06:54:34 PM
www.derok.net

Approves...
 
2009-12-02 06:56:42 PM
Hernandez, who calls himself Chief Broken Eagle, says he's descended from the Tonkawa Indians, a tribe that formed in Central Texas in the early 18th century.
"I can track an animal," he said.


I don't know what to say to that.

He said he planned to pull the bear's teeth from its skull and add them to a choker, enabling the bear to imbue him with an accumulated vigor.
"That had been my medicine," he said. "The bear would have filled a realm, the spiritual realm."


ooooooooooookkkkkkkkkayyyyy...

"They're pickin' on a poor man," Hernandez said. "I'm the low man on the totem pole."

And yeah it's dumdums like this that make people think Native Americans are a bunch of drunks who spout mystic mumbojumbo.
 
2009-12-02 06:58:35 PM
The Invisible Sky Wizard: fappomatic: How about D.) Drop your pants and start farking it's lifeless carcass on the front lawn of a daycare ?

You're only supposed to do that with dogs, silly!


What if I get my dog to do it while I smear peanut butter all over my nards?
 
2009-12-02 06:59:50 PM
EvilBillGates: sand_in_my_vagoo: EvilBillGates: WTS [Sacred Choker] x1 PST

You're not going to get much, it's only a green.

/Recovering WoW addict
//3 years sober.

Hah, I've been clean for a while, but WoW did just offer a free week... Wish I knew how to add purple text.


WTB [Fail] PST

/I kid
 
2009-12-02 07:10:30 PM
Quasar: EvilBillGates: sand_in_my_vagoo: EvilBillGates: WTS [Sacred Choker] x1 PST

You're not going to get much, it's only a green.

/Recovering WoW addict
//3 years sober.

Hah, I've been clean for a while, but WoW did just offer a free week... Wish I knew how to add purple text.

WTB [Fail] PST

/I kid


Haha, you've bested me sir, good jorb.
 
2009-12-02 07:22:17 PM
katghoti: More like Cheif Dumbass!

img704.imageshack.us

Hey, that's great!

But who are the Cheifs?

/great googly-moogly
 
2009-12-02 07:23:57 PM
EvilBillGates: Quasar: EvilBillGates: sand_in_my_vagoo: EvilBillGates: WTS [Sacred Choker] x1 PST

You're not going to get much, it's only a green.

/Recovering WoW addict
//3 years sober.

Hah, I've been clean for a while, but WoW did just offer a free week... Wish I knew how to add purple text.

WTB [Fail] PST

/I kid

Haha, you've bested me sir, good jorb.


ROFL
 
2009-12-02 07:36:30 PM
BesiktasBoy83: I always see one of the big cultural differences between East and West (as I'm from inbetween the border of the two) is the West is very sentimental for animals and the east is not. In turkey I think we are between the two ways of thinking. Most people from outside Europe and US I doubt would care if a dangerous animal died and for sure there would be no laws to protect the creature or the punish the person that kills them.

I wouldn't have a problem with killing a dangerous animal that was threatening humans. THIS animal was a relatively docile black bear that had already left the property of the humans in question, and wasn't threatening anyone.

The human in question is also a monumental idiot.
 
2009-12-02 08:02:20 PM
silly injun, those trinkets are powerless to our fine blankets
 
2009-12-02 08:11:26 PM
Honestly, that's probably exactly what I'd do
 
2009-12-02 08:15:13 PM
BesiktasBoy83: I always see one of the big cultural differences between East and West (as I'm from inbetween the border of the two) is the West is very sentimental for animals and the east is not. In turkey I think we are between the two ways of thinking. Most people from outside Europe and US I doubt would care if a dangerous animal died and for sure there would be no laws to protect the creature or the punish the person that kills them.

In China you can get the death penalty for killing a panda.
 
2009-12-02 08:48:29 PM
I've lived in the country my entire life and am pro hunting but I have never understood for the life of me the mentality of some that at the first sighting of a rare animal their instinct is to grab a gun and shoot it. Why?
 
2009-12-02 08:51:21 PM
i ve rea a million head lines set up like this-but for some reason i was cracking up when i read it. good work son.
 
2009-12-02 08:55:46 PM
Texas Mexicans, is there nothing they can't do...?

"Mexicanos al grito de guerra!"
 
2009-12-02 08:59:58 PM
Couldn't have been very well protected if he was able to get it.
 
2009-12-02 09:00:56 PM
I am Chief Grand Cherokee!
 
2009-12-02 09:02:45 PM
ElBarto79: I've lived in the country my entire life and am pro hunting but I have never understood for the life of me the mentality of some that at the first sighting of a rare animal their instinct is to grab a gun and shoot it. Why?

Because they don't have balls bigger then peas.
 
2009-12-02 09:23:26 PM
The penalty for shooting one is a Class C misdemeanor and a fine of $500, plus a civil restitution of $11,907.50.

If caught I would tell people I was black if I had to. That's a steep fine.

// BRB, hitting craigslist to price out Monte Carlos and Cadillacs
// just in case
 
2009-12-02 09:45:52 PM
Chief Broken Rubber.
 
2009-12-02 09:59:39 PM
Honestly, that is probably the best excuse you could give.

/No, it still won't work.
 
2009-12-02 11:18:02 PM
Whoa - wait a second....

Religion isn't quantifiable. There is no litmus paper for faith. If I pronounce myself a believer of a religion there is nobody who can prove otherwise.

My actions might be contradictory to my religious teachings - but well - even the most devote Christians in America sin and act opposite their beliefs...every day.

Religious exemptions from laws are *stupid*. Laws are 'the law' for a reason. Anyone who thinks otherwise is...well....stupid. And yeah, that sounds like flamebait; but sometimes it is what it is.

If you disagree with me, and think people should be able to break laws because of their religion....I'm happy to let you know that *my* religion says murder and rape are A-Okay! But, ya know, up until now...I've respected the law. But if you still support religious exemptions from the law...just let me know. That way I can start my raping/murdering spree at your house.
 
2009-12-02 11:40:53 PM
DaBishop: Chief Widened Anus.

*SPIT* Hahahaha, shiat man, warn me when you are going to be HILARIOUS next time. hahaha
 
2009-12-02 11:43:24 PM
Me Chief Wannawang of Slapaho tribe, Me lay down with Tatonka woman from Dennys. Me Sad, tears for many moons....
 
2009-12-02 11:45:11 PM
katghoti: More like Cheif Dumbass! It's fake indians like this that give real indians a bad name.

just spend one day here in Winnipeg and your tune might change
 
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