How did you get my grocery list?

Sumner County Sheriff Bob Barker...


COME ON DOWN!

Sheriff Bob Barker? I thought he was fully retired after he left the Price Is Right.

Damn, what a let down. Thought this would be a story of "the luckiest boy in the world" banging two hot teachers at the same time and seeing them get into a cat fight over it.

Gwendolyn: Locker vandalism is newsworthy now?

It is when a teacher does it.

That's a cash purchase if I've ever seen one. Only way it could be more strange is if she'd bought a broom and neosporin.

BillCo: Sweet Jesus, don't look.

/pass the eye bleach please

No, she's not 22-32. Big deal.

/At least she's not fat

Were the condoms used? Was the seventh grader used?

These are things the article does go into depth on

EYEBLEACH TIME!

Once you've admitted purchasing the sardines, condoms, lubricants and air freshener used in the incident and using her key to allow the student into the building, shouldn't you just admit involvement in the vandalism and save everyone some time?

/sardines, condoms and lubricants are key ingredients in Tennessee Fish Tacos.

Sardine juice, condoms, lubricant, rival teachers, and a seventh grader

If you read that in Ed McMahon's voice, it's like a set-up spectacular "Carnac The Maginificent" joke.

Sliding Carp: Sardine juice, condoms, lubricant, rival teachers, and a seventh grader.

A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff.

BillCo: Sweet Jesus, don't look.

/pass the eye bleach please

Don't look at this?

thorimm: Sliding Carp: Sardine juice, condoms, lubricant, rival teachers, and a seventh grader.

A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff.

My hat is off to you, Good Sir.

According to Sumner County Sheriff Bob Barker, the vandalism was allegedly committed in retaliation against a teacher that made comments about Rawls.

I wonder what the comment was? Probably something like, "man, that Mrs. Rawls is crazy. She seems like the type that would come into the school and vandalize some desks or lockers with some smelly substance or some sort of sexual items."

Man has Beverly D'Angelo sunk or what?

Stay classy, Portland.

bandy: Massa Damnata: BillCo: Sweet Jesus, don't look.

/pass the eye bleach please

Don't look at this?

You forgot to click to embiggen:

GAH!

Oh my sweet Jesus. Good Lord! I mean...I just...

I can see how the sardine juice and lubricant came off the seventh grader's condom, but I don't get the rival teachers part. But once all the facts come out, I'm sure there will be albino's blood, meth, a sixth grader, and a leprechaun's ejaculate on that rival teacher's hands.

/good show on the one-up-man-ship, teach

bandy: No, she's not 22-32. Big deal.

It's not that she's over 30....it's that is a horrible looking 50! Even allowing for the after-booking crying jag.

That's a fail tag if I've ever seen one.

I'm sure some of you are thinking sex with this crazy woman would be awesomely wild. Not me.

Sigh. This is why you should always get your rival teachers spayed and neutered.

WTF Indeed: What 40 years of failed dreams looks like.

Dear Lord, that's 40? That's what I call hard living.

Gwendolyn: Locker vandalism is newsworthy now?

Jesus by 8th grade I would have been a felon. Hey Matt Hazel, that shaving cream down both sleeves of you jacket? Oh yeah that was me.

Son of a biatch, I knew it had to be you.

/if only my first name was Matt
//and my last name was Hazel

Trance750: WTF Indeed: What 40 years of failed dreams looks like.

Dear Lord, that's 40? That's what I call hard living.

FTFA: She's 50.

/And believe me, I've seen worse.
//You can't fix fat with makeup.

WTF Indeed: She's 50, but your dreams start to be crushed after 10. Learning your never going to be an astronaut president hurts man.

My first wife crushed my dreams.

/And my testicles.

funny thing is that sardine juice is what I think of when I look at her

spentmiles: I can see how the sardine juice and lubricant came off the seventh grader's condom, but I don't get the rival teachers part.

FTFA: Rawls, who had been a teacher a Portland East, was transferred to Watt Hardison Elementary on July 31

/Reading: It works!

That teacher is old. why doesn't he just retire?

BillCo: Sweet Jesus, don't look.

GAHH!

/preview comments first preview comments first preview comments first

*Super Duper Cool Story Bro*

When I was a Freshman in highschool there was a Junior douche noozle that had the locker next to mine. He was a mullet wearing, pocket comb and brush using dude primming himself up in his little locker mirror every day. But most of all he was an arsehole "tuff guy".

For Months I would sneak to my locker during classes, pull out my swiss cake roll lunch deserts and SMEAR them all over his combination lock. Then in between classes LMAO as he was greeted with the chocolaty goo he had before him and his deer in headlight look on how he was going to get in his locker.

/*Super Duper Cool Story Bro*

CruiserTwelve: I bet she was hot 300 years ago though.

FTFY

gorgor: http://tinyurl.com/yfgpqkl

DAYAMN!