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(tigerwoods.com) Followup Tiger comes clean on his website. As opposed to all those times he came dirty   (web.tigerwoods.com) divider line 679
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30919 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2009 at 10:58 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2009-12-02 10:59:35 AM
ddddddddddddduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddddddddddddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
 
2009-12-02 10:59:50 AM
wood
 
2009-12-02 11:00:12 AM
That tzachrich guy in the comments doesn't get irony. Unless he's without sin and still calling people morons.

/so, who was Tiger banging?
 
2009-12-02 11:00:14 AM
Can anyone decipher this nonsense for me?
 
2009-12-02 11:00:29 AM
Oh for the love of cookies - when are we going to stop hearing about this?
 
2009-12-02 11:00:50 AM
YRThereSchool: Can anyone decipher this nonsense for me?

"I banged chicks and my wife found out. LOL sorry."
 
2009-12-02 11:00:59 AM
*snerk*
 
2009-12-02 11:01:20 AM
Celebrity means that nothing you do is private ever again. That is the price you pay for the lifestyle you gain. Suck it up Woods.
 
2009-12-02 11:01:38 AM
YRThereSchool: Can anyone decipher this nonsense for me?

"Dear Elin, I screwed some skank from California. I still really love you, please don't move out."
 
2009-12-02 11:01:54 AM
when the hot model wife gets all bloated with kids and wat not the putter just doesn't want to hit the hole...so you've got to move on to a pitching wedge and drop it in another whole from 20 yards or so...that's exciting, when you are playing like that.
 
2009-12-02 11:01:55 AM
Jaboobinator: YRThereSchool: Can anyone decipher this nonsense for me?

"I banged chicks and my wife found out. LOL sorry."


Plus three paragraphs about "hey, git outta my life! There's this little thing called 'privacy' that is supposed to let me be slimy in peace."
 
2009-12-02 11:02:02 AM
idrow: when are we going to stop hearing about this?

After he wins a few more majors.
 
2009-12-02 11:02:07 AM
"Sorry, even I happen to triple bogey from time to time."
 
2009-12-02 11:02:10 AM
So he played the course, but was it the front nine, or the back?
 
2009-12-02 11:02:16 AM
KhamanV: That tzachrich guy in the comments doesn't get irony. Unless he's without sin and still calling people morons.

/so, who was wasn't Tiger banging?


Is what it's starting to sound like. Still, it's between him & the Swedish club-weilder.
 
2009-12-02 11:02:26 AM
Oh, so now his wife's gonna pull one of these --

www.michaeltotten.com
 
2009-12-02 11:02:41 AM
KhamanV: That tzachrich guy in the comments doesn't get irony. Unless he's without sin and still calling people morons.

/so, who was Tiger banging?


Don't you mean, NINE irony nyuck nyuck nyuck.
 
2009-12-02 11:02:44 AM
Really, this is news? At least the "balloon boy" debacle was a tad more interesting.
 
2009-12-02 11:02:50 AM
That Ho just hit the lottery...
 
2009-12-02 11:03:00 AM
I, for one, am deeply disappointed.

Don't apologize. You're Tiger Woods. Plow whatever you want.

"I'm worth a billion, biatches."
 
2009-12-02 11:03:22 AM
He was playing two holes at the same time?
 
2009-12-02 11:03:29 AM
KhamanV: /so, who was Tiger banging?

Apparently, Jamie Grubbs, some bartender that was on a shiatty reality TV show 'Tool Academy'

http://www.filmyfair.com/celebrities/jaimee-grubbs-tiger-wood-sex-text-message s- jamie-grubbs-photos/ (new window)
 
2009-12-02 11:03:34 AM
translation for those who DNRTFA ... "I am sorry because I got caught"
 
2009-12-02 11:03:46 AM
JohnBigBootay: "Dear Elin, I screwed some skank from California. I still really love you, please don't move out." with half of my stuff.

Don't like golf, don't care about Tiger Woods, already fed up with hearing about this shiat.
 
2009-12-02 11:03:49 AM
TheOriginalEd: Celebrity means that nothing you do is private ever again. That is the price you pay for the lifestyle you gain. Suck it up Woods.

That's not really true is it? He's been famous for almost fifteen years He's probably taken a dump over 4,000 times since then but we didn't see any of them. Also, he has a really hot wife yet he banged this other skank for 2 years and we didn't know about it - that's pretty private.
 
2009-12-02 11:04:00 AM
In all fairness, his entire life has been built around the premise "If there's grass on the green, then put it in the hole."
 
2009-12-02 11:04:03 AM
Whiskey Dickens: Jaboobinator: YRThereSchool: Can anyone decipher this nonsense for me?

"I banged chicks and my wife found out. LOL sorry."

Plus three paragraphs about "hey, git outta my life! There's this little thing called 'privacy' that is supposed to let me be slimy in peace."


That's how I read it too. "I'm sorry, and I'm not perfect, but if the media would leave me alone I'd be able to my fark on!"
 
2009-12-02 11:04:14 AM
wow, throw the flag for improper "strike" use.

was wasn't.
 
2009-12-02 11:04:18 AM
In short, he brought his "A" game.
 
2009-12-02 11:04:33 AM
Not much of a confession. Essentially 'I have been a bad boy but it is none of your business'.

Sorry Tiger, you can't have it both ways - it was the golf skills that brought the fame but the fame brought the money and pays the bills. We would be happy to let you fade into obscurity and keep your private life private - just as soon as you give back all of the advertising dollars and get your face off all the products you endorse.

Until then, spill the beans about tapping the barmaids..
 
2009-12-02 11:04:55 AM
Jaboobinator: YRThereSchool: Can anyone decipher this nonsense for me?

"I banged chicks and my wife found out. LOL sorry."


That was the most convoluted way of saying "I had sex with a girl in a very uncomfortable place" that I've ever seen.

A for vagueness
C- for brevity
 
2009-12-02 11:05:02 AM
Jaboobinator: YRThereSchool: Can anyone decipher this nonsense for me?

"I banged chicks and my wife found out. LOL sorry."


"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling Florida State Troopers and their goofy trashwhore."

/jinkies!
 
2009-12-02 11:05:03 AM
Whiskey Dickens: be slimy in peace

He's a famous millionaire. Assuming he did bang some other chick(s), who cares? I'd give him a high five for job well done. Thank the nosy 40 year old cat ladies for this being in the news.
 
2009-12-02 11:05:05 AM
So. Many. Golf. Jokes.

However, thanks to his lovely wife, I've been inspired to make a CBT video using a seven iron.

Unfortunately, I have a bad tendency to shank...
 
2009-12-02 11:05:33 AM
It's just that pesky one-quarter of his ethnicity acting up again.
 
2009-12-02 11:06:04 AM
flaming99: just as soon as you give back all of the advertising dollars and get your face off all the products you endorse.

Until then, spill the beans about tapping the barmaids..


Why? I don't see how the two are connected.

He should just start doing Trojan commercials.
 
2009-12-02 11:06:06 AM
Elin Nordegren revenge sex tape appears in 3... 2... 1...
 
2009-12-02 11:06:15 AM
They see me rollin'
They hatin'
 
2009-12-02 11:06:39 AM
Adjective Bird Whiskey: It's just that pesky one-quarter of his ethnicity acting up again.

Thais do love to fark.
 
2009-12-02 11:06:40 AM
Its something to be said that the man didn't let this circus stew for weeks before revealing he did wrong, but rather coming out immediately and apologizing. That takes class and balls.

/and we all know Tiger has a lot of balls
 
2009-12-02 11:06:40 AM
So what expensive thing is he going to have to buy his wife to make up for this? keep her from taking half his stuff.
 
2009-12-02 11:06:44 AM
LeafyGreens: That's how I read it too. "I'm sorry, and I'm not perfect, but if the media would leave me alone I'd be able to my fark on!"

This.

That's not "coming clean".

Try using that as a defense for anything anywhere else but with an adoring media.
 
2009-12-02 11:06:50 AM
This headline would've been much better if it had ended with "As opposed to all those other times he came."

The "dirty" bit is just a stupid reach to mirror the earlier "clean" and is completely unnecessary.

I suck.

/-1
//subby
 
2009-12-02 11:06:51 AM
Jack31081: KhamanV: /so, who was Tiger banging?

Apparently, Jamie Grubbs, some bartender that was on a shiatty reality TV show 'Tool Academy'

http://www.filmyfair.com/celebrities/jaimee-grubbs-tiger-wood-sex-text-message s- jamie-grubbs-photos/ (new window)


Wait until he finds out that the next Tiger Woods Invitational is actually "Tool Academy 3".
 
2009-12-02 11:07:04 AM
Catch a tiger and his hoe, when he confesses, let him go.
 
2009-12-02 11:07:05 AM
 
2009-12-02 11:07:06 AM
indylaw: Jaboobinator: YRThereSchool: Can anyone decipher this nonsense for me?

"I banged chicks and my wife found out. LOL sorry."

That was the most convoluted way of saying "I had sex with a girl in a very uncomfortable place" that I've ever seen.

A for vagueness
C- for brevity


Like the back of a Volkswagen?
 
2009-12-02 11:07:20 AM
Translation:

"I one of the most visible and highly compensated athletes in the world, and while I want you to continue to spend gobs of money on products I endorse from high end golf equipment to $5 sticks of deodorant, please understand that if I'm using my putter on other greens, it's none of your business."
 
2009-12-02 11:07:43 AM
Maechyll: Don't like golf, don't care about Tiger Woods, already fed up with hearing about this shiat.

Maechyll - thank you for sharing. Here I am, a sports fan and avid golfer who never misses a major championship and I'm hanging out in the sports tab and I was wondering, does Maechyll like golf? Is he fed up with the Tiger story? And then you show up out of the blue to let me know. How cool is that?

Now STFU, GTFO and leave us alone, threadshiatter.
 
2009-12-02 11:08:18 AM
He shouldn't let his DV wife get away with it, no matter how many fugly leather skinned skanks he nailed. Next time could be a Brynn Hartman situation.

While we're at it, lets talk cliches. Chasing Tiger with a golf club? Was she yelling "this hurts me more than it hurts you"?
 
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