Who would have thought shoving a sharp object up your ass could cause it to pierce your skin and get stuck in your ass!
That's like...ironic or something.

For all the good it did him, he might as well have just shoved it up his ass.

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Damn near killed 'em.


lolz

Jail isn't so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet. But remember, it's shank or be shanked.

angelslogic: Eddie Adams from Torrance: Damn near killed 'em.


lolz

Don't be such an asshole.

Rance?

What? What?

What what?

"The taxpayer money does cover actual stupidity; hence this guy did have to have this surgically removed," said Sheriff Mark Pazin. "It's unfortunate, but it's a mandated surgery."

I lold

fritopendejo: What? What?

curse you and your 17 seconds (which, reportedly, is what she said).

Bob The Nob: Rance?

Is his middle name Sid?

Jeez use some stimulus money and buy a nicer ruler to photograph.

My guess is that this sharp little item was shoved up that inmate's butt to keep his cellmate's weiner from following it.

The way he looked at it, that shank was his birthright. He'd be damned if any goon is gonna put their greasy hands on his birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass.

Shank goes where?

tortilla burger: fritopendejo: What? What?

curse you and your 17 seconds (which, reportedly, is what she said).

Easy there, killer. Let's just take comfort that two delicious mexican delights are on the same wavelength.

Huskadoodle: The way he looked at it, that shank was his birthright. He'd be damned if any goon is gonna put their greasy hands on his birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass.

Bravo, sir. Well played. My keyboard is now toast...

capnmonkey: "The taxpayer money does cover actual stupidity; hence this guy did have to have this surgically removed," said Sheriff Mark Pazin. "It's unfortunate, but it's a mandated surgery."

I lold

I'd probably find humor in that statement if it weren't for the fact that law enforcement types really have the attitude that anyone who isn't a cop- even if they've never been found guilty of a crime- is subhuman. Hell, it sickens me (and should sicken you all) when cops, sheriffs, etc. have that attitude regarding people who have been convicted of a crime. The Constitution is what makes this country great; it's not something for police etc. to circumvent.

Just shoot this stupid motherfarker before he procreates.......oh wait, I'm sure this piece of shiat already has six kids with five different skanks.....fark it, shoot all of them too.....

I guess the anus isn't unremarkable after all

Oh and apologies for being serious when you guys were happy to snark about prison butt stuff. Legal issues aside, prison butt stuff is fun to joke about.

abhorrent1: Shank goes where?

Shank. Apply directly to the rectum.
Shank. Apply directly to the rectum.
Shank. Apply directly to the rectum.

\don't want to see the video

chevydeuce: Just shoot this stupid motherfarker before he procreates.......oh wait, I'm sure this piece of shiat already has six kids with five different skanks.....fark it, shoot all of them too.....

I read shanks and laughed although I didn't get it.

Paris Hilton was in his ass? Oh shank, not skank, never mind

1953 called. It wants its ruler back.

He's lucky I don't run that jail... I would have been way too tempted to ignore his cries of anguish and let him die of stupidity-induced sepsis from his necrotic rectum.

And no, I don't think that band name is taken yet.

eddyatwork: Jail isn't so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet. But remember 'course, it's shank or be shanked.

FTFY

/Super-collider, I just met her.

Err...that's not a shank. It's a Native American arrowhead.

Could've wreckd'em.

Crotchrocket Slim: I'd probably find humor in that statement if it weren't for the fact that law enforcement types really have the attitude that anyone who isn't a cop- even if they've never been found guilty of a crime- is subhuman. Hell, it sickens me (and should sicken you all) when cops, sheriffs, etc. have that attitude regarding people who have been convicted of a crime. The Constitution is what makes this country great; it's not something for police etc. to circumvent.

I'd probably find agreement with your statement, if it weren't for the fact that the cop was commenting on a convicted killer who had hidden a shiv in his rectum. But you have a good point, hiding a shiv in your rectum is a constitutional privilege (as long as you're not in jail) and Fark will stand with you when the evil police come for yours.

/From your cold, dead rectum!

MaxxLarge: With inmates, you've gotta inspect 'em.
Your job is to always protect 'em.
And shanks? While they're horrid
They're not the most torrid
Of things that get shoved up their rectum.

Win.

Wadda pain in the ass!

Approves

On the upside, it should keep the surprise buttsecks at bay.

Amateur