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(Merced Sun-Star) Dumbass In the end, he had a point   (mercedsunstar.com) divider line 116
More: Dumbass, Merced County Main Jail, jail, Merced county, concealed weapons, Deputy Tom MacKenzie, Rance Johnson, prisoners, weapons  
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19936 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2009 at 12:48 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



116 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-02 11:11:37 AM
megain.smugmug.com
 
2009-12-02 11:16:35 AM
Come on, who here hasn't been caught with a concealed knife shoved up his ass? Those who live in glass houses...
 
2009-12-02 11:35:59 AM
With inmates, you've gotta inspect 'em.
Your job is to always protect 'em.
And shanks? While they're horrid
They're not the most torrid
Of things that get shoved up their rectum.
 
2009-12-02 11:40:28 AM
Who would have thought shoving a sharp object up your ass could cause it to pierce your skin and get stuck in your ass!
That's like...ironic or something.
 
2009-12-02 11:49:52 AM
Damn near killed 'em.
 
2009-12-02 11:51:40 AM
For all the good it did him, he might as well have just shoved it up his ass.
 
2009-12-02 11:54:43 AM
Man, I would cut you right now if I wasn't constipated.
 
2009-12-02 12:33:26 PM
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Damn near killed 'em.


lolz
 
2009-12-02 12:41:34 PM
I definitely would NOT hit it. Just look at that sharp anus. He is way below my standar|
 
2009-12-02 12:43:41 PM
Jail isn't so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet. But remember, it's shank or be shanked.
 
2009-12-02 12:50:27 PM
angelslogic: Eddie Adams from Torrance: Damn near killed 'em.


lolz


Don't be such an asshole.
 
2009-12-02 12:50:36 PM
Rance?
 
2009-12-02 12:51:09 PM
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Damn near killed 'em.

I guess it didn't rectum.
 
2009-12-02 12:51:12 PM
What? What?
 
2009-12-02 12:51:29 PM
What what?
 
2009-12-02 12:51:32 PM
"The taxpayer money does cover actual stupidity; hence this guy did have to have this surgically removed," said Sheriff Mark Pazin. "It's unfortunate, but it's a mandated surgery."

I lold
 
2009-12-02 12:52:10 PM
fritopendejo: What? What?

curse you and your 17 seconds (which, reportedly, is what she said).
 
2009-12-02 12:53:24 PM
Bob The Nob: Rance?

Is his middle name Sid?
 
2009-12-02 12:54:22 PM
I'm sure his boyfriend is glad is out of there.
 
2009-12-02 12:57:43 PM
Jeez use some stimulus money and buy a nicer ruler to photograph.
 
2009-12-02 12:57:57 PM
My guess is that this sharp little item was shoved up that inmate's butt to keep his cellmate's weiner from following it.
 
2009-12-02 12:58:26 PM
The way he looked at it, that shank was his birthright. He'd be damned if any goon is gonna put their greasy hands on his birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass.
 
2009-12-02 12:59:37 PM
Shank goes where?
 
2009-12-02 01:00:04 PM
tortilla burger: fritopendejo: What? What?

curse you and your 17 seconds (which, reportedly, is what she said).


Easy there, killer. Let's just take comfort that two delicious mexican delights are on the same wavelength.
 
2009-12-02 01:01:24 PM
This is not as uncommon as you think. I put a double edged dagger in there, handle first, whenever I go to one of our community library's orgies. Book worms love the poop stink. Some of them will even come at you twice.
 
2009-12-02 01:01:32 PM
Snarky Acronym: Jeez use some stimulus money and buy a nicer ruler to photograph.

lol
 
2009-12-02 01:02:09 PM
Huskadoodle: The way he looked at it, that shank was his birthright. He'd be damned if any goon is gonna put their greasy hands on his birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass.

Bravo, sir. Well played. My keyboard is now toast...
 
2009-12-02 01:02:11 PM
capnmonkey: "The taxpayer money does cover actual stupidity; hence this guy did have to have this surgically removed," said Sheriff Mark Pazin. "It's unfortunate, but it's a mandated surgery."

I lold


I'd probably find humor in that statement if it weren't for the fact that law enforcement types really have the attitude that anyone who isn't a cop- even if they've never been found guilty of a crime- is subhuman. Hell, it sickens me (and should sicken you all) when cops, sheriffs, etc. have that attitude regarding people who have been convicted of a crime. The Constitution is what makes this country great; it's not something for police etc. to circumvent.
 
2009-12-02 01:03:02 PM
Just shoot this stupid motherfarker before he procreates.......oh wait, I'm sure this piece of shiat already has six kids with five different skanks.....fark it, shoot all of them too.....
 
2009-12-02 01:03:19 PM
I guess the anus isn't unremarkable after all
 
2009-12-02 01:04:26 PM
Oh and apologies for being serious when you guys were happy to snark about prison butt stuff. Legal issues aside, prison butt stuff is fun to joke about.
 
2009-12-02 01:04:35 PM
Three weeks?
RLY?
Three weeks with that up his ass?
WOW he's a better man than me.

Wait that didn't come out right.
neither did that.
 
2009-12-02 01:05:24 PM
abhorrent1: Shank goes where?

Shank. Apply directly to the rectum.
Shank. Apply directly to the rectum.
Shank. Apply directly to the rectum.

\don't want to see the video
 
2009-12-02 01:05:24 PM
chevydeuce: Just shoot this stupid motherfarker before he procreates.......oh wait, I'm sure this piece of shiat already has six kids with five different skanks.....fark it, shoot all of them too.....

I read shanks and laughed although I didn't get it.
 
2009-12-02 01:06:09 PM
Paris Hilton was in his ass? Oh shank, not skank, never mind
 
2009-12-02 01:06:31 PM
Too bad he didn't have an anal bum cover.
www.motifake.com
 
2009-12-02 01:06:32 PM
1953 called. It wants its ruler back.
 
2009-12-02 01:07:15 PM
He's lucky I don't run that jail... I would have been way too tempted to ignore his cries of anguish and let him die of stupidity-induced sepsis from his necrotic rectum.

And no, I don't think that band name is taken yet.
 
2009-12-02 01:07:40 PM
eddyatwork: Jail isn't so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet. But remember 'course, it's shank or be shanked.

FTFY

/Super-collider, I just met her.
 
2009-12-02 01:07:46 PM
Err...that's not a shank. It's a Native American arrowhead.
 
2009-12-02 01:08:26 PM
Could've wreckd'em.
 
2009-12-02 01:08:28 PM
Eegads... To think that he had to swallow it first... Bastard must have an ironclad gastrointestinal fortress.
 
2009-12-02 01:09:15 PM
Snarky Acronym: Jeez use some stimulus money and buy a nicer ruler to photograph.

Where do you think they got the ruler?
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2009-12-02 01:10:09 PM
chevydeuce: Just shoot this stupid motherfarker before he procreates.......oh wait, I'm sure this piece of shiat already has six kids with five different skanks.....fark it, shoot all of them too.....

Not if he shanks the skanks before they shag.
 
2009-12-02 01:10:31 PM
Crotchrocket Slim: I'd probably find humor in that statement if it weren't for the fact that law enforcement types really have the attitude that anyone who isn't a cop- even if they've never been found guilty of a crime- is subhuman. Hell, it sickens me (and should sicken you all) when cops, sheriffs, etc. have that attitude regarding people who have been convicted of a crime. The Constitution is what makes this country great; it's not something for police etc. to circumvent.

I'd probably find agreement with your statement, if it weren't for the fact that the cop was commenting on a convicted killer who had hidden a shiv in his rectum. But you have a good point, hiding a shiv in your rectum is a constitutional privilege (as long as you're not in jail) and Fark will stand with you when the evil police come for yours.

/From your cold, dead rectum!
 
2009-12-02 01:12:32 PM
MaxxLarge: With inmates, you've gotta inspect 'em.
Your job is to always protect 'em.
And shanks? While they're horrid
They're not the most torrid
Of things that get shoved up their rectum.


Win.
 
2009-12-02 01:14:20 PM
Wadda pain in the ass!
 
2009-12-02 01:15:55 PM
Approves

i31.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-02 01:16:53 PM
On the upside, it should keep the surprise buttsecks at bay.
 
2009-12-02 01:17:28 PM
Amateur
img3.cbimg.cdn.celebuzz.com
 
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