Is there something remotely interesting about this story and/or headline that I'm not getting?

All I could think of when I heard "toys" and "criminal acts"

Disclosure: I am coming from a long line of elks (on both sides of the family)

Sounds like the majority of these problems are arising because of the rental space.

This is an isolated incident and does not reflect upon the order of the Elks. It seems that their bartenders and council must be slacking off at that specific location. Each location is kind of like the VFW. It's independently controlled, only regulated from above on a limited basis. My two local chapters both are very strict on ID's and last call.

/approves

Those Elks sure are Odd Fellows.

I've heard that Sarah Palin can sometimes see the Phoenix Elk's lodge from her private jet.

DrZiffle: Those Elks sure are Odd Fellows.

I dunno about you, but I think they are Lion through their teeth..

couldn't be located for questioning



/hot like the repeated criminal acts

but are strange things afoot at the circle K?

When you're an Elk,
You're an Elk all the way
From your first cigarette
To your last dyin' day.

When you're an Elk,
If the spit hits the fan,
You got brothers around,
You're a family man!

/jazz hands

I've never trusted the Elks. Or the Kiwanis. Or the Knights of Columbus.

\Freemason
\\Just sayin'

*reads headline*

OK, I'm going to go with necrophilia and animal farking.

*reads article*

Not even close.

I can walk to that place in about 7 or 8 minutes from my house. Been there for five years now. I've never once heard any problems come from that place, nor have I heard any complaints about it. Now, the el rancharo music coming from the messican church a couple blocks away, that's a different story.

gorgor: I got banned from an Elk's lodge once.
/true story

I'm only surprised you haven't been banned from Earth yet. :)

spentmiles: I'm going Elk hunting this weekend, so don't get too eager. I welded an industrial cross bow with swivel to the back of my truck. The arrows are 20 pound titanium bolts with five hundred yards of thin steel cable threaded to the backs. We plan to spotlight the elk, spear it, and then reel it into the truck with a 10000 pound torque wench. Should be some good hunting.

Isn't road hunting illegal?

gorgor: I got banned from an Elk's lodge once.
/true story

...and you have pictures demonstrating why, I assume?

*wiggles eyebrows*

spentmiles: I'm going Elk hunting this weekend, so don't get too eager. I welded an industrial cross bow with swivel to the back of my truck. The arrows are 20 pound titanium bolts with five hundred yards of thin steel cable threaded to the backs. We plan to spotlight the elk, spear it, and then reel it into the truck with a 10000 pound torque wench. Should be some good hunting.

From the article it seems like most Elk's are old and drunk. Doesn't look too hard.

Thread needs some Moose:



//hot like moose

This is a problem that other entities have run into before. They've become overly dependent on the revenue generated from their weekend "parties" that involve all non-members.

So their economic interest is in direct conflict with their otherwise law-abiding nature. That's where the liquor sales to minors and non-members and after-hours comes in. It's a risk that any group that tries to raise money by selling booze at events runs - you can get your good name and reputation sullied by the crowd you attract with that flavor of honey.

I remember when I was a kid, my dad told the family we were going to the K of C hall. I was thought we were going out for chicken!!!

/sadly disappointed

onebadgungan:

From the article it seems like most Elk's are old and drunk. Doesn't look too hard.

I bet that isnt the only thing that isnt too hard.

/old people
//and whiskey dick

I think I just stumbled on what they are in trouble for!

Lemon parties
/"You can't have a lemon party with out old Dick"

ram.1500: I remember when I was a kid, my dad told the family we were going to the K of C hall. I was thought we were going out for chicken!!!


Considering their connection to the Catholics, you might have been right.

BAdum

This is not strange. The lodge is just one of those places anyone can rent out for a party or reunion or whatever and you can have liquor during certain hours and they have some drooling old elk fart and some glaring old lady who is just beaming "can't somebody please think of the children" out of her eyes. Who've been chosen as "security" because they don't really accept that prohibition was rescinded.

spentmiles: I'm going Elk hunting this weekend, so don't get too eager. I welded an industrial cross bow with swivel to the back of my truck. The arrows are 20 pound titanium bolts with five hundred yards of thin steel cable threaded to the backs. We plan to spotlight the elk, spear it, and then reel it into the truck with a 10000 pound torque wench. Should be some good hunting.

Jesus. Why not just buy a ballista if you're going that far?



/good for invading barbarian hordes as well as elk

I have a theory, which is mine, which I thought of, which is this.

This is my theory.

My theory, which is mine, goes like this:

Dinosaurs are thin at the front, and then quite tall in the middle, and then thin again at the back.

/close enough.

Let the waitress put the chairs up;
Let the glasses that you broke
Form a picture of our leader
With a halo made of smoke.

Let the golden oldies station
Crackle, and come through
With a final benediction
That we'll hum along to
Before we say goodnight.

Let our talk about the ballgame
And the weather show we care;
Like a sound we didn't notice
Until it stopped and left us there.

With the traffic and our heartbeats
Beating in straight time,
Let our hatred and affection
March in the same line
Before we say goodnight.

Oh, protect our secret handshake
Once more, with feeling.
Let the toast to absent members
Push through the ceiling
Before we say goodnight.

Throb Low: Thread needs some Moose:

{moose from YCDTTV}

//hot like moose

She didn't age too well.



/too soccer mommy for my tastes

I'm surprised no one's mentioned that there are 2 different Elks organizations, one is exclusively black (IBPOEW). The one in TFA story is a black one. We have had the same problem in Peoria (IL).

PirateKing: I have a theory, which is mine, which I thought of, which is this.

This is my theory.

My theory, which is mine, goes like this:

Dinosaurs are thin at the front, and then quite tall in the middle, and then thin again at the back.

/close enough.

o_O

Alright - article states it's the IBPOE, not the BPOE - bit of a difference than what you're all used to; and fwiw, South Phoenix is the equivalent to Cabrini Greens.

Not involved.

spentmiles: I'm going Elk hunting this weekend, so don't get too eager. I welded an industrial cross bow with swivel to the back of my truck. The arrows are 20 pound titanium bolts with five hundred yards of thin steel cable threaded to the backs. We plan to spotlight the elk, spear it, and then reel it into the truck with a 10000 pound torque wench. Should be some good hunting.

Wow! But what is an industrial cross bow? Were they used to make rivets in medieval factories before the invention of the modern rivet gun?

The_Sponge: gorgor: I got banned from an Elk's lodge once.
/true story


Have any pics to prove it?

The hell with the pics, I wanna see the police report.

I'm surprised Deputy Dog Arpaio hasn't come to take them all to jail to wear pink underwear!