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(Metro)   "It's hard to see your wife in the same way after you have watched her shoot a revolver and learn body combat. It provides sexy new experiences"   (metro.co.uk) divider line 164
    More: Strange, good night, Asian Dinner Club, babysitter  
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10940 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2009 at 11:07 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



164 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-02 11:08:56 AM  
I got married so I wouldn't have to do this crap.
 
2009-12-02 11:09:02 AM  
Borat?
 
2009-12-02 11:09:06 AM  
I like a woman that can make me bleed.
 
2009-12-02 11:09:25 AM  
And here I though watching my wife dine at the Y made it hard for me to see her the same way and provided new sexy experiences.

....to each their own though I guess
 
2009-12-02 11:11:38 AM  
Eeek! The Prowler! Hasutaki... HA!

/Better not be obscure
 
2009-12-02 11:13:50 AM  
Damn, thought this was an article about Tiger's wife...

/Bet he's glad it's not!
 
2009-12-02 11:14:28 AM  
Honey, if it weren't for this bleeding hole in my chest, I would be so turned on by what you just did.
 
2009-12-02 11:14:57 AM  
I know I'll never see my grandma the same way...

home.comcast.net
 
2009-12-02 11:16:15 AM  
We'll see if he feels that way after she jacks his wallet so she can get some Ann Taylor.
 
2009-12-02 11:18:15 AM  
www.ttellc.net

From my profile. Been there done that. :D
 
2009-12-02 11:18:32 AM  
z.about.com
trzyzero.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-02 11:18:33 AM  
The fark is "body combat?"
 
2009-12-02 11:21:15 AM  
images.starpulse.com

What a woman who can shoot a revolver and knows body combat looks like.

Married dating classes are just a way to separate fools from what cash they may have. If she's willing to give you a slobby and let you spooge your man mayo all over her face, well I'm going to go out on a limb and say the excitement hasn't left the bedroom.
 
2009-12-02 11:22:00 AM  
gutter_ca/fl:
The fark is "body combat?"
That's to separate it from spiritual combat, a much more common skill for wives. ;)
 
2009-12-02 11:22:31 AM  
Kyoki: From my profile. Been there done that. :D


NARC
 
2009-12-02 11:24:33 AM  
Kyoki: From my profile. Been there done that. :D

Heh heh she can something something my gun something something weapon

/what can't firearms do??
 
2009-12-02 11:33:22 AM  
That Palin shoop never gets old.
 
2009-12-02 11:33:48 AM  
Although it is interesting, that firearms used to be part of everyday life ~100 yrs ago, and today they are 'dangerous' and need 'extra responsibility' and such. Almost seems to be a different line of thinking or culture between people comfortable with guns, and those who are not. A woman with a firearm back then wouldn't be nearly as aww inspiring as it is today.

/end rant.
//This shouldn't be nearly as interesting as it is imo
 
2009-12-02 11:35:01 AM  
IdBeCrazyIf: And here I though watching my wife dine at the Y made it hard for me to see her the same way and provided new sexy experiences.

....to each their own though I guess


here here
 
2009-12-02 11:35:30 AM  
angry_scientist: Kyoki: From my profile. Been there done that. :D

/what can't firearms do??


You might have to take my word on this, but trust me. . . guns do NOT help in the making of cupcakes :-(
 
2009-12-02 11:35:56 AM  
Ugh. I knew Palin just had to be mentioned. Damn, I so hate that biatch.
 
2009-12-02 11:36:02 AM  
Wow... does rule #34 hold up regarding women with guns. I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed or aroused. Probably 60-40 disturbed to aroused.
 
2009-12-02 11:36:17 AM  
This is gonna be a good thread.

i45.tinypic.com
 
2009-12-02 11:37:40 AM  
As long as it's not a crazy beotch.
 
2009-12-02 11:37:51 AM  
Wimmins wif gunz iz teh hotness.
 
2009-12-02 11:38:33 AM  
zombietheclown: You might have to take my word on this, but trust me. . . guns do NOT help in the making of cupcakes :-(

Then you're not using them right. Just find someone who knows how to make cupcakes, hold the gun to their head and yell "MAKE ME A CUPCAKE! NOW!" Works every time.
 
2009-12-02 11:39:03 AM  
zombietheclown: angry_scientist: Kyoki: From my profile. Been there done that. :D

/what can't firearms do??

You might have to take my word on this, but trust me. . . guns do NOT help in the making of cupcakes :-(


I don't know, maybe to remove a cherry or something someone didn't like... but I think they could be helpful with donuts!!
Just not the filled kind...
 
2009-12-02 11:40:30 AM  
If my wife were to start toting weapons and learn "body combat", I'd leave her. She's already hard to deal with just arguing and giving the cold shoulder. I can't imagine how strained things would be if either of us were packing heat.

Guys who have a fetish for chicks with guns haven't thought their cunning plan all the way through. Enjoy sleeping with one eye open the next time you piss her off, fellas.
 
2009-12-02 11:41:24 AM  
museamused:
Wow... does rule #34 hold up regarding women with guns.
Let me Google that for you....
 
2009-12-02 11:41:59 AM  
litespeed74: As long as it's not a crazy beotch.

Oh, well, then that only disqualifies all women, everywhere.
 
2009-12-02 11:43:19 AM  
museamused: Wow... does rule #34 hold up regarding women with guns. I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed or aroused. Probably 60-40 disturbed to aroused.

Actiongirls.com

NSFW!

You're welcome.
 
2009-12-02 11:43:31 AM  
I don't disagree - some of our most fun date nights are at the range. My husband and I had a great date shooting machine guns last year, and it's even better when someone else is paying for the ammo.
 
2009-12-02 11:44:18 AM  
ZeroCorpse: If my wife were to start toting weapons and learn "body combat", I'd leave her. She's already hard to deal with just arguing and giving the cold shoulder. I can't imagine how strained things would be if either of us were packing heat.

Guys who have a fetish for chicks with guns haven't thought their cunning plan all the way through. Enjoy sleeping with one eye open the next time you piss her off, fellas.


Gun or not, lack of trust and a threat of a SO becoming violent = YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
 
2009-12-02 11:45:38 AM  
museamused: Wow... does rule #34 hold up regarding women with guns. I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed or aroused. Probably 60-40 disturbed to aroused.

What part of "No Exceptions" do you not understand? Do you want the semi-nekkid women HOLDING guns porn or the "Women inserting firearms in places that would even make the NRA blush" variety?


"Women and Guns" porn is so common is almost mainstream. Hell, conservative radio host, burglar, and nutbag G. Gordon Liddy used to put out an annual caldendar of pictures his listeners sent in of themselves in lingere holding high caliber weapons.
 
2009-12-02 11:46:18 AM  
i49.tinypic.com
 
2009-12-02 11:46:35 AM  
angry_scientist:
Gun or not, lack of trust and a threat of a SO becoming violent = YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
After all, John Wayne Bobbitt didn't exactly let his wifey have a gun. >:D
 
2009-12-02 11:46:47 AM  
Molavian: I like a woman that can make me bleed.

Why should she bleed alone?
 
2009-12-02 11:47:17 AM  
Kyoki: From my profile. Been there done that. :D

Does the backpack hold her extra paintballs?
 
2009-12-02 11:49:12 AM  
Asian Dinner club does not sound like something that wives would approve of.
 
2009-12-02 11:49:16 AM  
stevarooni: museamused: Wow... does rule #34 hold up regarding women with guns.Let me Google that for you....

They should have a lmgtfy image search.
 
2009-12-02 11:50:49 AM  
MemeSlave: Molavian: I like a woman that can make me bleed.

Why should she bleed alone?


ChrisDe: Kyoki: From my profile. Been there done that. :D

Does the backpack hold her extra paintballs?


This is why I keep coming back to Fark
 
2009-12-02 11:57:00 AM  
i45.tinypic.com
 
2009-12-02 12:00:07 PM  
For some reason, I read that as "providing sexy new orifices".
/Yeah, aisle seat, I know.
 
2009-12-02 12:01:46 PM  
cynicalbastard: For some reason, I read that as "providing sexy new orifices".
/Yeah, aisle seat, I know.


Nothing like making love to a gunshot wound.
 
2009-12-02 12:02:59 PM  
Magorn: Do you want the semi-nekkid women HOLDING guns porn or the "Women inserting firearms in places that would even make the NRA blush" variety?

Dude. This is America. I want both.
 
2009-12-02 12:03:26 PM  
museamused: Wow... does rule #34 hold up regarding women with guns. I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed or aroused. Probably 60-40 disturbed to aroused.

It's surprising how few people realized that this is a comment and not a question.

To rephrase:
WOW! Rule #34 does hold up regarding women with guns.

/just got back from Front Sight (Millionaire Patriot who advertised here a while ago) 97% of the women there were hot 3 of them were not. 2 of them were on my range. 1 was a 70 yr old, the other just looked disturbingly like my best friend.
 
2009-12-02 12:08:03 PM  
I don't understand why a woman shooting is sexy. And since I'm not scared shiatless of the sight of a firearm, I guess that makes me a "gun nut" and all that crap.
 
2009-12-02 12:08:55 PM  
Shakespeare's Monkey: If she's willing to give you a slobby and let you spooge your man mayo all over her face, well I'm going to go out on a limb and say the excitement hasn't left the bedroom.

Useless with said proof. And ladies do you really like that or is just a thing you do for us?
 
2009-12-02 12:09:05 PM  
angry_scientist: ZeroCorpse: If my wife were to start toting weapons and learn "body combat", I'd leave her. She's already hard to deal with just arguing and giving the cold shoulder. I can't imagine how strained things would be if either of us were packing heat.

Guys who have a fetish for chicks with guns haven't thought their cunning plan all the way through. Enjoy sleeping with one eye open the next time you piss her off, fellas.

Gun or not, lack of trust and a threat of a SO becoming violent = YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.


You don't know much about people, do you?

Every woman has a little bundle of crazy just past the sweet veneer, waiting to explode and boil your rabbit. Every single one of them has a different trigger, and there's no way to know if "Hey, honey! I bought you some carnations!" is going to send her into a screaming, crying fit because you hit some button you didn't even know existed-- And what's worse is that she won't tell you what you did. You're just expected to know. However, if you do know, and you never heard it from her, then you're accused of "spying" on her.

It's no fabrication; Every woman has more than a few trigger phrases, actions, and situations. It could be a song, or a specific word, or a gesture. It could be anything, and if you trip upon it and let the demonic, crazy beast from hell out, and fail to handle it properly it won't matter how much "trust" you have, how peace-loving she is, or how good you are--- She will f'ing GET you.

And if you do it on the wrong day, when the lunar phase is making her act crazier than normal? Gozer help you, because you might just end up with all your stuff thrown out a window and the police accusing you of beating her up when you never laid a hand on her.

Sure, the vast majority of women can control the hellbeast inside of them 99% of the time, but are you really willing to risk your life on the chance that your SO has a trigger that fires that 1% that sends her over-the-top?

Every man will turn into a philanderer under the right circumstances, and every woman will turn into a sociopath when you hit her trigger. It's how we're all wired, as humans. Our primal brains can't be fully tamed. Welcome to being a primate.

And if you don't believe it... Just wait. You will, eventually.

/No disrespect to ladies, whom I love 99% of the time.
//I just learned, after a hundred-or-so relationships, that this is the way it is.
 
2009-12-02 12:12:02 PM  
ZeroCorpse: Every woman has a little bundle of crazy just past the sweet veneer, waiting to explode and boil your rabbit. Every single one of them has a different trigger, and there's no way to know if "Hey, honey! I bought you some carnations!" is going to send her into a screaming, crying fit because you hit some button you didn't even know existed-- And what's worse is that she won't tell you what you did. You're just expected to know. However, if you do know, and you never heard it from her, then you're accused of "spying" on her.

It's no fabrication; Every woman has more than a few trigger phrases, actions, and situations. It could be a song, or a specific word, or a gesture. It could be anything, and if you trip upon it and let the demonic, crazy beast from hell out, and fail to handle it properly it won't matter how much "trust" you have, how peace-loving she is, or how good you are--- She will f'ing GET you.

And if you do it on the wrong day, when the lunar phase is making her act crazier than normal? Gozer help you, because you might just end up with all your stuff thrown out a window and the police accusing you of beating her up when you never laid a hand on her.

Sure, the vast majority of women can control the hellbeast inside of them 99% of the time, but are you really willing to risk your life on the chance that your SO has a trigger that fires that 1% that sends her over-the-top?

Every man will turn into a philanderer under the right circumstances, and every woman will turn into a sociopath when you hit her trigger. It's how we're all wired, as humans. Our primal brains can't be fully tamed. Welcome to being a primate.

And if you don't believe it... Just wait. You will, eventually.

/No disrespect to ladies, whom I love 99% of the time.
//I just learned, after a hundred-or-so relationships, that this is the way it is.


Listen to ZeroCorpse. He is wise.
 
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