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(The Sun) Weird Woman suffers from mysterious disorder that turns her into a sex addict while she's asleep. Well, "suffers" might be the wrong word to use here, but you get the thrust of it   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 109
More: Weird, sex addicts, sexual acts, Belles, self-esteem, turnovers, Justin, Holland, The Sun  
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25373 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2009 at 5:10 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



109 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-02 04:54:13 AM
I'm grimly amused to see that the Sun was thoughtful enough to provide an excellent face pic, name, and other contact info. Truly, it's journalism that's relevant to readers' interests.
 
2009-12-02 04:59:06 AM
This story, I really don't buy.
Imagine if she was a guy?
"A cheater? Not me!
I was SLEEPING, you see!"
I'm thinking that crap wouldn't fly.
 
2009-12-02 05:12:41 AM
Speaking as a fellow sexsomniac, I am getting a kick...

/My gf is ok with it though
//And apparently, so am I
 
2009-12-02 05:15:37 AM
Woman suffers from mysterious disorder that turns her into a sex addict while she's asleep. Well, "suffers" might be the wrong word to use here, but you get the thrust of it... or at least she does.

Thanks to MaxxLarge for his trademark limerick, now all we need is PocketNinja to add a contribution that makes this normal, everyday activity and overly eroticses it, or would that be too easy?
 
2009-12-02 05:16:06 AM
Subby missed a good opportunity to throw in "If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right".

And the "boyfriend over" quote is a bit over the top don't you think? If you are having the boyfriend over for sleeping, doesn't that normally include sex? Hell, if a girlfriend wants to sex me up while sleeping, I'm good with that, and then I'd ask can I stay over tonight also.
 
2009-12-02 05:19:27 AM
CasperImproved: Subby missed a good opportunity to throw in "If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right".

And the "boyfriend over" quote is a bit over the top don't you think? If you are having the boyfriend over for sleeping, doesn't that normally include sex? Hell, if a girlfriend wants to sex me up while sleeping, I'm good with that, and then I'd ask can I stay over tonight also.


I think it was more like she masturbates a lot in her sleep. I do too. Also while I'm awake. When I'm on Fark.
 
2009-12-02 05:24:14 AM
Her ex sounds like he looked that gift horse a little too hard in the mouth.
 
2009-12-02 05:24:51 AM
Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi:


I think it was more like she masturbates a lot in her sleep. I do too. Also while I'm awake. When I'm on Fark.


Thanks for the Visual.
 
2009-12-02 05:25:07 AM
Stunning Belle Floor...the pretty blonde...

They certainly went to great pains to inform us that the SEX ADDICT is a BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN, didn't they?

Her ex-boyfriend Justin, 47, a construction worker, could not accept it was happening without her knowledge and eventually it caused them to separate.

Wuss :P

Belle has since found solace by speaking to other sufferers online and she set up her own website offering advice and support.

Link?
 
2009-12-02 05:29:31 AM
haddie: Her ex sounds like he looked that gift horse a little too hard in the mouth.

I'm not sure it was her mouth he was getting eyefuls of :P But I totally agree, article says he started complaining about it in 1999...so that means his then 37 year old self was biatching about his 22 year old hottie girlfriend's midnight sexual needs.
 
2009-12-02 05:30:17 AM
"Well doc, i wouldnt exactly say i am 'suffering' from priapism..."
 
2009-12-02 05:30:29 AM
friedlinx: Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi:


I think it was more like she masturbates a lot in her sleep. I do too. Also while I'm awake. When I'm on Fark.

Thanks for the Visual.


1: You don't know what I look like.
www.personadondada.com
(The glove is for fapping.)

2: It wasn't a visual, it was a facial.
 
2009-12-02 05:37:54 AM
BumpInTheNight: haddie: Her ex sounds like he looked that gift horse a little too hard in the mouth.

I'm not sure it was her mouth he was getting eyefuls of :P But I totally agree, article says he started complaining about it in 1999...so that means his then 37 year old self was biatching about his 22 year old hottie girlfriend's midnight sexual needs.


Maybe he felt left out... or she dindn't feel him at all ;^)
/If u want something done right... do it yourself.
 
2009-12-02 05:41:17 AM
BumpInTheNight: haddie: Her ex sounds like he looked that gift horse a little too hard in the mouth.

I'm not sure it was her mouth he was getting eyefuls of :P But I totally agree, article says he started complaining about it in 1999...so that means his then 37 year old self was biatching about his 22 year old hottie girlfriend's midnight sexual needs.


Her choices in men are making me question her personality. What 22 year old hottie dates a prude 37 year old?
 
2009-12-02 05:42:53 AM
You know what I think I may suffer from the very same problem. Every morning without fail I wake up with this massive boner.
What is it about morning which is so goddamn sexy?
 
2009-12-02 05:42:59 AM
It's an incubus!! SHE'S HAVING SEX WITH DEMONS AT NIGHT!!!!

Weigh her and see if she weighs more than a duck...
 
2009-12-02 05:43:04 AM
ive actually woken up while whackin it... so I can relate lol
 
2009-12-02 05:45:42 AM
The Sun is getting as bad as those weird, semi porn tabloids that were popular when I was a kid that my uncle hid under the laundry hamper.

I vividly recall a story about some totally slutty looking woman who told a story about how she would die if she had an orgasm, due to some unnamed heart condition. One quote from that story I can still remember from all those years ago. She said, "If I'm am ever raped, I hope my rapist will let me satisfy him with my mouth".

Funny how when I rtfa, that little tidbit of scarring adolescent memory came back. If memory serves, the girl in the pic looks just like the woman with the orgasm of death syndrome.

Ok, now back to our regular scheduled thread about Beautiful Floor who claims she doesn't remember playing with herself.
 
2009-12-02 05:47:12 AM
HOLY shiat THATS MY HOME TOWN!
 
2009-12-02 05:49:19 AM
illuminatis: You know what I think I may suffer from the very same problem. Every morning without fail I wake up with this massive boner.
What is it about morning which is so goddamn sexy?


6 looks like a penis.
Fact.
 
2009-12-02 05:52:21 AM
el_loco_avs: HOLY shiat THATS MY HOME TOWN!

Do you have a sister? Any cousins?

/please let it be something in the water, please please please
 
2009-12-02 05:52:59 AM
The Super Soaraway Rag strikes gold again!
 
2009-12-02 06:00:08 AM
haddie: Her choices in men are making me question her personality. What 22 year old hottie dates a prude 37 year old?

Yup, between that and it took her 22 years to get enlightened about the impromptu clitar jam sessions there's something fishy about her.
 
2009-12-02 06:03:17 AM
BumpInTheNight: haddie: Her choices in men are making me question her personality. What 22 year old hottie dates a prude 37 year old?

Yup, between that and it took her 22 years to get enlightened about the impromptu clitar jam sessions there's something fishy about her.


Clitar jam sessions are called ragas, fyi.
 
2009-12-02 06:03:49 AM
So, superpowers are a "disorder" now?
 
2009-12-02 06:09:35 AM
Ah... The Sun. An idiotic rag that manages to rage against "sexual predators" while showing 17 year old tits on page 3. Where the editors managed to offend an entire city enough that their paper is boycotted there to this day.

...and where stories formed of pure undiluted WIN like this still appear! I knew there was a reason this rag was still published :)
 
2009-12-02 06:10:09 AM
illuminatis: You know what I think I may suffer from the very same problem. Every morning without fail I wake up with this massive boner.
What is it about morning which is so goddamn sexy?


You want the scientific explanation or snark?
 
2009-12-02 06:12:57 AM
Best Disease Evar!!!
 
2009-12-02 06:25:56 AM
Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi: Clitar jam sessions are called ragas, fyi.

I LOLed.
 
2009-12-02 06:29:27 AM
commodore-64-games.com
 
2009-12-02 06:35:15 AM
If she's asleep and never remembers the self-pleasuring acts at night, how does she know she's really doing them? Maybe her old boyfriend was just really messing with her head...
 
2009-12-02 06:38:17 AM
illuminatis: You know what I think I may suffer from the very same problem. Every morning without fail I wake up with this massive boner.
What is it about morning which is so goddamn sexy?


esteban9: illuminatis: You know what I think I may suffer from the very same problem. Every morning without fail I wake up with this massive boner.
What is it about morning which is so goddamn sexy?

You want the scientific explanation or snark?


Link
 
2009-12-02 07:05:28 AM
thenewflesh: Ah... The Sun. An idiotic rag that manages to rage against "sexual predators" while showing 17 year old tits on page 3. Where the editors managed to offend an entire city enough that their paper is boycotted there to this day.

...and where stories formed of pure undiluted WIN like this still appear! I knew there was a reason this rag was still published :)


So when us Yanks fap to said we're breaking the law?
 
2009-12-02 07:06:23 AM
theinfosphere.org
Zapp: If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?
Kif: [sighs] "Sex-lexia".
 
2009-12-02 07:18:22 AM
Markoff_Cheney: Zapp: If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?
Kif: [sighs] "Sex-lexia".


For fark's sake, I was just about to post this!

Props.
 
2009-12-02 07:21:16 AM
Look, if as long as she's quiet while playing with herself while I'm trying to sleep, that's fine with me.

/all day and all night might be giggity, but it makes Jack a tired, grumpy boy
 
2009-12-02 07:24:50 AM
"Suffers" from this disease?
Was this article written by a woman?
 
2009-12-02 07:25:13 AM
Why is everything a problem nowadays? I see nothing wrong with this.
 
2009-12-02 07:27:37 AM
She needs to get together with those sleep rapists. You know those guys that claimed they raped the girls while sleep walking or some crap. perfect match.
 
2009-12-02 07:33:48 AM
Farks And What You Meant To Me: Markoff_Cheney: Zapp: If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?
Kif: [sighs] "Sex-lexia".

For fark's sake, I was just about to post this!

Props.


It took me like... an hour to actually have the lightbulb go off, amazed nobody had posted it yet. thanks.
 
2009-12-02 07:33:54 AM
Morning wood? Yup!

What a snoregasm might look like.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
 
2009-12-02 07:33:59 AM
HMMMM
Didn't the ex boyfriend ever think of redirecting her sleep masturbation into something he could be involved in?

\Sleep sex FTW
\\ No, really. It can be pretty hot.
 
2009-12-02 07:35:22 AM
Okay, I'll bite the bullet on this one. This poor, distraught girl can come stay in my spare room. I'll do my best to provide a supportive, nurturing haven and I'll do whatever I can to help her through her tortured nights.

/I'm just that kind of a guy...
//I'm sure my wife wouldn't have a problem with this.
///Right, sweetheart?
////Sweetheart?

(crickets and a strange growling noise)
 
2009-12-02 07:35:53 AM
If she were to hire a cinematographer, she could profit from this disease.
 
2009-12-02 07:38:06 AM
Wow, there's not a doctor anywhere that could put a finger on the problem?
Now that's what you call just being completely screwed.

Over....
and over.....
and over.....
and over.....
and over.....
and over.....
 
2009-12-02 07:38:47 AM
BumpInTheNight: I'm not sure it was her mouth he was getting eyefuls of :P But I totally agree, article says he started complaining about it in 1999...so that means his then 37 year old self was biatching about his 22 year old hottie girlfriend's midnight sexual needs.

That's some deep seated insecurity right there.

/if my gf wants to do that, I'm gonna watch, that's for sure
//if I had a gf, that is
 
2009-12-02 07:47:27 AM
Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi: CasperImproved: Subby missed a good opportunity to throw in "If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right".

And the "boyfriend over" quote is a bit over the top don't you think? If you are having the boyfriend over for sleeping, doesn't that normally include sex? Hell, if a girlfriend wants to sex me up while sleeping, I'm good with that, and then I'd ask can I stay over tonight also.

I think it was more like she masturbates a lot in her sleep. I do too. Also while I'm awake. When I'm on Fark.


You fantasize the way you want, and I'll fantasize the way I want.

/I think my way is better.
// In either case it's still better than her being a wetter.
 
2009-12-02 08:04:41 AM
illuminatis: What is it about morning which is so goddamn sexy?

After a while of not getting any, even the crack of dawn looks good.
 
2009-12-02 08:05:50 AM
Wear some boxing gloves and get some sleep. And "Stunning" is one of those English words that means something else over there. Like trunk-boot or umbrella-bumpershoot?
 
2009-12-02 08:10:33 AM
Just goes to show you, a Belle can play only with itself after all.
 
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