Through global warming?

SHUT

DOWN

EVERYTHING!!!!!

shocking.

Iranian Nukes
Exploding Xmas Lights
Swine Flu
Global Warming
AID's
Happy Holidays to all....

Electrifying article.

I don't do christmas apart from the baby jesus meat thing, getting a kick, etc.

I have no idea what you are talking about,
so here's a giant Christmas killer bee in the yard

The Chinese are slowly killing us all. First with lead poisioning, now with electrocution. What other evil plots will they launch to speed up our demise?
My suspicion is drugs. Blood pressure medication that actually raises you blood pressure. No, wait, it will be counterfeit Viagra that actu^^%$$%^...... *No Carrier*

FTA: 1/10th of fires happen in the run up to Christmas.

So does 1/10th of the year.

2/5 of all work absences happen on Mondays & Fridays too.

So..They've done studies, you know. 30% of the time it will kill you, every time.

Wow, we must outlaw all potential danger. I say zero tolerance for risk!

Gotta love this woman's expression. Yes, she's trying to kill you!



Please honey. Put up the Christmas lights.
Where's your holiday spirit?

What's up with the pic in the FA of the granny decorating a Christmas tree in hyperspace?

We don't call them Christmas Lights any more. We call them Seasonal Twinklettes. Or Festive Lumens, if you prefer.

GreatNOD: What's up with the pic in the FA of the granny decorating a Christmas tree in hyperspace?

She was charging at the photographer. It's not shopped.

/Look at the granny pixels.

One-tenth of fires happen in the run-up to Christmas.

Yeah, and 29% of all car thefts happen on weekends.

Those christmas lights (many brands) have been recalled for lack of safety compliance last few years. Also note that xmas trees are so flammable that if a fire starts you have about 2-4 minutes to get out before the whole place is going to be covered in smoke.

Not that there is much difference than the million flammable things people put in their rooms normally, though.

FTFA: Many of the lights failed several of 20 different rules on wiring, insulation, plugs and other issues.
Half of the lights tested were made in China.


Wow, I guess that Chinese quality lead construction just isnt what it use to be.

In reading this article, I learned the following:

-Christmas lights can kill researchers
-Testing of said Christmas lights must be done in secret
-There are exactly 20 rules on wiring
-There were 350 Christmas-light-idiot-related injuries in 2002 (in the entire world?)
-China is trying to kill us

Ah, the seasonal version of "EVERYTHING IN YOUR HOUSE CAN KILL YOUR FAMILY" news.

ishus37
Ah, the seasonal version of "EVERYTHING IN YOUR HOUSE CAN KILL YOUR FAMILY" news.


Yeah, like the pine needles from the Christmas tree, those things are deadly. You stand too close to the tree and a needle falls off, which you end up inhaling, and goes and migrates into your lung where it perforates, then ends up abscessed, which turns into a systemic infection with a pneumonia kicker.......and boom your dead just like that.

THE DANGER IT'S EVERYWHERE


/As ridiculous as its getting, I'm pretty sure that if you give it a few years that wrapping presents is gonna be on the DANGER list.
....you know with papercuts leading to gangrene and all.

It's all getting about that stoopid.

Meh, Ive been shocked by lights plenty of times.

Now that we are all aware holiday lights can kill can we answer the question 'how are lights decorating your house' related to Jesus?

How can Christmas lights be a threat when half of them die the second I've put them up on the house?


/usually a bad bulb, Clark

MaxxLarge: When trimming the holiday tree,
The danger is never to me.
I plug in the juice,
But ONE light is loose?
I go on a murdering spree.

I love you.

GreatNOD: What's up with the pic in the FA of the granny decorating a Christmas tree in hyperspace?

She's going plaid!

That's it. I'm going back to the safer method of attaching candles to each branch.

BTW, it's not the wrapping paper that's dangerous, it's that little metal serrated edge on the tape dispensers. And the scissors. My God! The scissors!

/Bah
//Humbug

what font is tfa written in? I gave up after the first paragraph burned my eyes.

And god help you if some styrofoam packing chips off and gets in your eye!

Designed by:

Wait, watt?

GreatNOD: What's up with the pic in the FA of the granny decorating a Christmas tree in hyperspace?

Must be Flaming Lips fans.

They listed a bunch of European countries.
When did Europe start getting Christmas?

Then I'm farked because I have 3 trees in my living room and even one on the rear cargo rack on my motorcycle

Christmas lights can kill - researchers

So is that 30% of researchers, or 30% of the population does research in some way?

I realize I'm taking an awful risk by injecting actual, y'know, helpful information into a Fark thread, but... :D

First, buy only lights from high-profile, well-known brand names such as Noma, Philips, or Sylvania. Do not succumb to the temptation of the cheap Wal-Mart or Big!Lots "no-name" products. Yes, you'll pay a little more, and it's not a 100% guarantee of quality, but the major brands are at least somewhat less likely to risk selling bottom-of-the-barrel junk with fake UL codes due to the fact that they're a fixed target with substantial business operations here in the states that can't evade liability lawsuits by just dissolving and disappearing as soon as the holiday season is over.

Regardless of what brand you decide on, find the UL symbol on the package, or on the product. Underneath the symbol, there will be a code that starts with an E, followed by five or six digits. This is the "UL File Number."

Go to this website, the UL Online Certifications Directory, and type in that number.

If the code number comes back "Sorry, No Match Found", or comes back with a company name and product info which doesn't match what you have in your hand... it's fake. Use the UL Product Incident Report Form to report the offending product and retailer. Under "description of concern", be sure to mention that you looked up the product's supposed UL file number on their site and that the result doesn't match the actual product and manufacturer.

Please, oh please, let this thread turn into an endless photo essay of all those awesome decorated yards and houses out there. I'm dead farking serious.

/not really

mortimer_ford: GreatNOD: What's up with the pic in the FA of the granny decorating a Christmas tree in hyperspace?

She's going plaid!

She can do the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs.