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(News24)   Man masturbating on a tram ordered over a loudspeaker to stop   (news24.com) divider line 240
    More: Obvious  
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139 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2003 at 2:19 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-03-27 03:12:39 PM


smile, boys and girls... max loves you.
 
2003-03-27 03:14:06 PM
Lord_Dubu-

No, not really. She was just wacko in general, so we eventually split up. She's now serving a life sentence for killing a 79 year old man in a wheelchair because he wouldn't give her the 200 bucks he promised after she masturbated in front of him.

Hey, she got hooked on crack, what can I say.
 
2003-03-27 03:14:58 PM
Bill_Wick's_Friend
Do you mean to replace schlong with schlort?
 
2003-03-27 03:15:42 PM
I had to sleep in the same room with a guy who masturbated every night for months. Every night I would hear fap's. and he denied it every day
 
2003-03-27 03:16:08 PM
I can't beatFrance's story, but here's my tale of public masturbation.

Riding shotgun in a truck westbound on I-88 in IL, just missed the Dixon exit. My boss, who was driving turns to me and says "Hey Hayduke, look at this" and gestures out his window. I look over, and there's some dude driving next to us, spanking it. What was disturbing is that he was staring at us while he was buffing his hoo-hoo-dilly That disturbed me slightly more than the fact he was watching us, not the road.
 
2003-03-27 03:16:32 PM
Electra: I'm sitting here thinking how sane my ex is. This is a first.
 
2003-03-27 03:19:30 PM
 
2003-03-27 03:19:31 PM
Didn't Ghastly have a comic like this?
 
2003-03-27 03:19:49 PM
WhoresWhisperer

funny
 
2003-03-27 03:20:45 PM
really creepy stories. I am wondering, was this man staring at the girl while he was doing it? the one that spotted him? if she is claiming sexually harrassment, he would of had to have some sort of interation with her while he was jerkin' it. if not , thats still sick , but not harrassment, right?
 
2003-03-27 03:21:25 PM
hey, it's nothing to get nuts over.
 
2003-03-27 03:22:23 PM
How ironic is it that this story was in the OFFBEAT section. Sorry to those who've posted above. I'm lazy.

/bored
 
2003-03-27 03:23:36 PM

Sheesh: France is always standing by while the bus drivers of the world take out the creepy homeless pud-pullers!

When I go out for dinner tonight I'm ordering the Freedom Onion Soup!

 
2003-03-27 03:24:24 PM
AnonymousPoster - Yeah, my ex usually makes everyone look sane.
Here's a clipping from google's wonderful cache -

"Tyler woman indicted on charges of capital murder

A 30-year-old Tyler woman is accused of capital murder in the fatal stabbing of a disabled man, who was the father of an appeals court judge.

Monica Gelene Wilson was indicted Monday in the death of 79-year-old Jack Lee Griffith.

State District Judge Diane DeVasto set bond at $250,000.

Wilson told authorities she stabbed Griffith at his south Tyler apartment on July 15 after he refused to give her $200, according to the arrest affidavit.

Griffith, the father of 12th Court of Appeals Judge Sam Griffith, was reportedly stabbed multiple times. Jack Griffith was an amputee who also suffered from prostate cancer. He and Wilson were acquaintances, police said.

Wilson told authorities that after she stabbed Griffith, she went to the bathroom area, cleaned up and washed the blood off. She then stole the victim's checkbook, billfold and car keys.

Authorities said she cashed a stolen check at a nearby bank before returning to the murder scene to retrieve the murder weapon.

Wilson's blood was found at the scene, linking her to the crime, police public information officer Chris Moore told the Tyler Morning Telegraph in Tuesday's edition.

Wilson was arrested in March while in jail for the botched robbery of the Key Food Conoco Store on Oct. 16.

(Copyright 2001 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)"


So, boys and girls- if you like chics who masturbate in public, then you might as well look forward to this kind of shiat too.
 
2003-03-27 03:27:08 PM
Years ago, I was a Tour Guide at Universal Studios. This story is tame compared to some of the shiat that I saw take place on trams.
 
2003-03-27 03:27:35 PM
Off beat story about beating off.

Hmm....
 
2003-03-27 03:29:40 PM
that image was supposed to be a catcher's mitt. I wonder why it didn't work.
 
2003-03-27 03:30:17 PM
The link to this masturbation story:

http://www.news24.com/News24/Backpage/Offbeat/0,5583,2-1343-1347_1339286,00.h tml

Coincidence?
 
2003-03-27 03:33:01 PM
Electra: The father of a judge????? I think I'm gonna send my ex flowers... Nah...
 
2003-03-27 03:33:07 PM
Electra -- either you're making that up, or that's one of the strangest/saddest/weirdest/un-coolest/most farked-up stories I've heard in quite a while.

I take it back. That is definitely the strangest/saddest/weirdest/un-coolest/most farked-up story I've heard in a while. Damn.

If it weren't for the part about the chick masturbating, it would be completely awful.
 
2003-03-27 03:33:51 PM
Damn you Damn_Conservative_Media! In the time I took scanning the thread to see if anybody else noticed, you beat me to the punch!
 
2003-03-27 03:37:51 PM
AnonymousPoster
Electra: I'm sitting here thinking how sane my ex is. This is a first.

Ditto! Wow Electra that is a positively horrible story.
 
2003-03-27 03:38:52 PM
Confucius say:

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
 
2003-03-27 03:40:24 PM
WriteInCandidate
On a train? Such is the danger of the wireless web.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --

Do you think we will see this in a comercial for the new Centrino processor?
 
2003-03-27 03:42:38 PM
I worked at a movie theater when I was a teenager, and this was a pretty frequent problem... We'd catch some guy polishing his Oscar in the movies at least once or twice a month...

I only remember one woman doing it (or at least getting caught doing it,) and since she was standing on the toilet (skirt up, panties down) in one of the stalls (door open) I can only assume that discretion wasn't a major concern. However, she's the same lady who used to gather up popcorn, soda and candy off the floor before the movie started, so I can only assume sanity wasn't a big factor in her life.

You actually get pretty jaded about it, and the amusement (or perhaps novelty is a better word) wears off. However, I did get the serious heebie-jeebies one night, when we got word that some guy was jerking it during the "women's shower" (gas chamber) scene of "Schindler's List." And of course, lucky me, I'm the one who had to chase the crazy bastard off the property...
 
2003-03-27 03:44:45 PM
On a more thread appropriate note, a good friend of mine has actually managed to talk a few female co-workers into masturbating in front of him. Keep in mind he wasn't seeing any of them and nothing else really happened. Kinda points out a difference though. Women run from the men doing it and the guys are trying to persuade women into doing it.
 
2003-03-27 03:48:21 PM
DisneyOnIce: Dude, TELL me about it. One of the drivers last summer actually sent a woman to go take a piss inside the revolving tunnel at the end of the tour. She went in too far, set off the start beam, and WHOOSH around and around the tunnel went, with... stuff... flying everywhere.

That was a fun day, lemme tell you.

So when were you a guide?
 
2003-03-27 03:51:04 PM
what's the fun without someone to watch? .. haha. speaking of which!! new sexy losers cartoon is out! and right on topic =) http://sexylosers.keenspace.com/180.html .. only a cartoon.. but probably nsfw
 
2003-03-27 03:51:27 PM
Technicolor-misfit: polishing his Oscar in the movies

Cracked me up.
 
2003-03-27 03:51:50 PM
This happened in Germany, so over the loudspeaker it would have been, "Stoppen Sie, Ihr Huhn zu erdrosseln!"
 
2003-03-27 03:54:12 PM
AnonymousPoster
Do you by chance know how he coerced the ladies into "beating it like a speedbag" in front of him. My curiosity is piqued.
 
2003-03-27 03:57:02 PM
DROP IT AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!!!!!
 
2003-03-27 03:59:37 PM
*SKKKKKKK* "Actung Actung! Denken Sie ├╝ber die kittens!" *SKKKKKK*
 
2003-03-27 04:02:30 PM
WhoresWhisperer: I don't know if I would use the word coerced or not. He is not too bashful when it comes to talking about sex to women. He says he would get them to talk about sex and then start asking them if they masturbate. In the 3 times he has told me about, he said he just let the conversation go until he finally just asks them to do it right then. Now, keep in mind I don't know how many times this has failed but it has worked 3 times. One of them did it and then asked if she could give him a hummer at the same time.

BTW, Isn't a HORSE Whisperer someone who can get a horse to do something for them by simply talking to them? Funny that you are the one asked this... :-D
 
2003-03-27 04:05:22 PM
Several years ago, I saw a woman laying on the floor in a Paris train station, with her dress pulled right up, masturbating. Unfortunately, she was really really nasty looking, so I just kept walking on to my train.
 
2003-03-27 04:09:06 PM
I used to have this one friend who always masturbated in the car. She loved it. She even changed cloths in the car while driving. She found out from a trucker she was dating that she had a reputation on some highways.

Ahh, I loved driving her home after a night of drinking. She would always start going at it. And she was a moaner too!

Still, I was a bit freaked out when she stole my lighter, employed it, and then returned it to me.

Freaky woman.

I've also seen men getting oral while driving on two occasions.

Once, I just saw a brunette head bobbing up and down in the lap of a guy driving a van.

The second time, was very different.

I was driving along, and one of those red sports cars pulled up beside me, keeping pace. In the drivers seat was an old, vat balding dried out man with a grumpy frown.

I was amazed when the face of a black haired Japanese youth (She looked about 16) popped up from his lap. She has a white substance dripping off her face and out of her mouth. She smiled RIGHT AT ME, and the driver of the car pulled ahead and took the next exit.
 
2003-03-27 04:09:58 PM
I'm sorry I'm late...did I come at a bad time?
 
2003-03-27 04:11:42 PM
clean up in the aisle.
 
2003-03-27 04:13:26 PM
Thanks for the info. I wondered if he could sell ice to an Eskamo or if he asked 100 times and was shot down 99.
I don't know ANYTHING about HORSES. But if that is a typo, and you mean WHORES then you are correct that I can get a WHORE to do something by simply talking to them but only AFTER the $$$ is on the nightstand.
"I'll take good sex, bad sex, any sex I can get!"-Dr. Ruth
 
2003-03-27 04:17:27 PM
Doublem - Once, I just saw a brunette head bobbing up and down in the lap of a guy driving a van.

It wasn't a green Dodge Caravan, was it?
 
2003-03-27 04:17:50 PM
The last time I received a BJ was during a movie at a theater. (Regular movie, regular theater, but NOT Schindler's List.) She was fun. I never did ask about while driving, I figured I would lose control of the car.
 
2003-03-27 04:18:29 PM
One time a girl let me masturbate her just because she said she had never had an orgasm. I was like, "I bet I can make you have one. Can I give it a try?" She said yes but....I did not make her orgasm before I got bored of doing it. I gave it my best though.
 
2003-03-27 04:20:56 PM

How topical of me
 
2003-03-27 04:21:28 PM
Mind the Fap
 
2003-03-27 04:24:08 PM
CheezDanish - you were never a Tour guide.
 
2003-03-27 04:26:11 PM
I find it interesting that this article was placed in the "Off Beat" section.
 
2003-03-27 04:28:12 PM
Adam_cole, if you quit before you were successful, you certainly didn't give it your best. ;-P
 
2003-03-27 04:29:52 PM
 
2003-03-27 04:30:49 PM
Crystalis: That's what I was thinking. Got bored? I think not.
 
2003-03-27 04:31:23 PM
Although, Cheez, you're certainly stupid enough to be in Management there.
 
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