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(News24)   Man masturbating on a tram ordered over a loudspeaker to stop   (news24.com) divider line 240
    More: Obvious  
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142 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2003 at 2:19 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



240 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2003-03-27 02:41:04 PM  
I think that everyone here has been in this situation before, rigtht?
 
2003-03-27 02:41:44 PM  
I bet this guy was really grumpy the rest of the day, being denied the joy of release. Speaking from experience, I get grumpy when I am interrupted and not allowed to finish but I punch the clown at home behind closed doors, on a good day in the company of prostitutes. Call me old fashioned.
-WW
 
2003-03-27 02:41:52 PM  
[image from knitwitology.net too old to be available]
Heh, no kidding.
 
2003-03-27 02:42:15 PM  
Mavispoo:


Well, very true. But can you imagine the difficult positions we'd hafta be in?? These guys can just whip it out and make a mess!
 
2003-03-27 02:43:09 PM  
There was this girl on the bus in the seat next to me, and I noticed she was squirming around a bit too much.
Then I noticed she was masturbating.
I didn't mind at all.

***NOTE : that wasn't a true story, but it would be cool if it was.***
 
2003-03-27 02:43:10 PM  
Bump nothing says love like airborne man-goo

You own me a new monitor and keyboard!
 
2003-03-27 02:43:19 PM  
[image from evote.com too old to be available]
"As God is my witness, I was not masturbating on that German tram. I was using public transportation to return from a party, as I had been drinking. It was then that I noticed that I had mislaid my pants, and I decided that I should leave in order to avoid an incident. I had no idea that woman was in the seat behind me, until I was told about the incident the next day."
 
2003-03-27 02:45:23 PM  
*Mind the goop please, mind the goop*

I was in Montreal last weekend and we went to a bank machine. There was a homeless guy inside the door, propped up against the wall with his pants down to his knees. He was opening the door for everyone with a cane he held in one hand, while yanking his doodle dandy in the other. Crazy world.
 
2003-03-27 02:45:40 PM  
Dammit!!! How come it's never chicks who masturbate in public?!?!

Seriously girls. It seems the men have you beat in this category. Better start catching up!!!
 
2003-03-27 02:46:03 PM  
03-27-03 02:35:54 PM Donald_McRonald
Was this on the "Voice of God" loudspeaker?


Kent STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF!!!!!!

Kent: It is God

or something like that
 
2003-03-27 02:46:37 PM  
This reminds me of the story about the man who went to get a haircut....the hairdresser puts the sheet over him and starts cutting his hair. Then she sees that the guy is fiddling with something in his lap...she thinks he is jerking off so she clubs him in the head with a lamp...then it turns out that he was only winding his watch.

This was back in the old days when you wound watches. And instead of cell phones people had rotary cell phones.
 
2003-03-27 02:47:22 PM  
Off Beat news.
 
2003-03-27 02:48:34 PM  
Can't Beat off on a tram! I don't want to live in a country like that.
 
2003-03-27 02:49:31 PM  
Donald_McRonald
Was this on the "Voice of God" loudspeaker?
(Where's the link to the porno videostore clerk's blog?)


Here it is- but it looks to be going under some revisions. I had it bookmarked but now I'm getting a message from the domain host. Good site.

http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/tpcs.html
 
2003-03-27 02:50:50 PM  
Hogans: Very well done, indeed!
 
2003-03-27 02:50:59 PM  
This reminds me of the story about the man who went to get a haircut....the hairdresser puts the sheet over him and starts cutting his hair. Then she sees that the guy is fiddling with something in his lap...

If the barbershop is in Seoul, this is to be expected.
 
2003-03-27 02:51:36 PM  
03-27-03 02:45:40 PM Twister58201


Dammit!!! How come it's never chicks who masturbate in public?!?!

Seriously girls. It seems the men have you beat in this category. Better start catching up!!!


I'm sure they do, but they can be a lot more subtle about it ;)
 
2003-03-27 02:51:41 PM  
OH! I almost forgot what I was gonna post.

Man masturbating on a tram ordered over a loudspeaker to stop.

When was Drew on a tram in London?

/ba-dum-bum!
 
2003-03-27 02:51:57 PM  
I happen to know for a fact that women will do it in public. They just typically keep from getting caught. In the car in traffic. In the bathroom at work. Places like that. I know several who do that kind of thing. I just never catch any of them...
 
2003-03-27 02:52:24 PM  
maybe trains need to start providing entertainment.
 
2003-03-27 02:53:51 PM  
No wonder Germany doesn't want to go to war. All the men are busy spanking the monkey...
 
2003-03-27 02:53:58 PM  
I don't remember where I picked this tid bit up but...
During the industrial revolution, in the textile industry, women would work the incredibly boring jobs of running spinning machines and looms. Boring until, one day when one lucky lady found that if she positioned her legs a certain way and provided some pressure that she could produce an orgasm while working the machines. Needless to say that word traveled fast and from that day onward the days weren't as long or as dull.
/masturbation at work history lesson
 
2003-03-27 02:54:35 PM  
Thanks, Bass555. As I was writing that, it all seemed strangely familiar. Some strange girl in the back seat, feigning ignorance until the next day, etc. Plus, I can never pass up an excuse to burn the Senior Senator from Taxachusetts.
 
2003-03-27 02:56:31 PM  
I was in a strip club in Lethbridge where some guy was getting his lady off manually in a side booth. I alerted my friends and we had a good time watching them 'til she looked over and caught us ogling. Heh, she blushed a bit over that one.
 
2003-03-27 02:56:42 PM  
That's German efficiency for you. Why sit there wasting time twiddling your thumbs when you can sit there and twiddle your weiner.
 
2003-03-27 02:57:30 PM  
and as 10,000 Farkers go to www.snopes.com to verify LukeLightning's story, snopes dies...
 
2003-03-27 02:57:49 PM  
03-27-03 02:52:24 PM Litespeed74
maybe trains need to start providing entertainment.


Hmm, trains do have all those poles inside, and plenty of change from the fares...

The gentleman's club industry is just screaming for a novelty setting like this! Does anybody know where we can get some old subway cars cheap?
 
2003-03-27 02:58:20 PM  
there was this time liz hurley, salma hayek, kate hudson, and andrea corr walked in on me. craziness.

/fantasty world
 
2003-03-27 02:59:00 PM  
03-27-03 02:45:40 PM Twister58201

Dammit!!! How come it's never chicks who masturbate in public?!?!


You just reminded me of another one. :)

I was in Rio De Janiero in November. Sitting at a restaurant with a buddy. This fairly hot girl is walking down the street with her hand down the front of her skirt. And there's movement. Me and my buddy alternate staring at each other in shock, and staring at her in shock. She stops to look at the menu posted at the restaurant we were in, and realizes we are staring at her. She turns red, takes her hand out of her skirt, and briskly walks away.

So there you go, Twister.
 
2003-03-27 02:59:47 PM  
Yesterday at work, I went in the bathroom and there was a guy in the stall. All of a sudden he stood up and started rubbing his foot on the floor before he came out. I looked down and he was smearing some sort of 'whitish liquid' around on the floor. Either I came in after the checkered flag was down or he had spit a loogie on the floor while sitting there. Either way, kinda grossed me out...
 
2003-03-27 03:00:29 PM  
Women SO do it. More than we realize. ALL THE TIME.

But they are quick and subtle about it. I knew one girl who just had to wiggle in her seat to get an orgasm. Virtually anything they can rub up against through their pants is masturbatory exercise.
 
2003-03-27 03:00:37 PM  
LukeLightning

here
 
2003-03-27 03:00:48 PM  
Men masterbating in public are sickos.
Women masterbating in public are fantastic.
Funny how that works.
 
2003-03-27 03:00:58 PM  
BlueGargoyle
OH! I almost forgot what I was gonna post.

Man masturbating on a tram ordered over a loudspeaker to stop.

When was Drew on a tram in London?


I think Drew was in London a while ago. However, this story took place in Germany, and was only reported from London.
 
2003-03-27 03:01:16 PM  
Pardon me boy, is that the Chatanooga choo-choo ?


[image from optioncart.com too old to be available]

 
2003-03-27 03:01:55 PM  
Oh, man. And I thought I was the only one who had to put up with that sort of crap! I work at a theme park, with a tram (try and guess which one, win a fabulous prize!) and holy spoo you would not believe what goes on there. There's this one dude, old, about 60, who will get on a tram, take video shots of the tourguide's crotch (but only the MALES!) get off the tram and then turn around and get on the next one going out! Meanwhile he's rubbing his nipples through his shirt. And cupping his stones. Aaaak. Dirty... must... shower...
 
2003-03-27 03:01:57 PM  
Virtually anything they can rub up against through their pants is masturbatory exercise.

Are we talking about women or cats?
 
2003-03-27 03:02:16 PM  
True story of public masturbation from the 1990s:

Walked into a closed bank's lobby with my sister to use the ATM.

Guy inside has his wang in his hand and is making "uhhhhhnnnnggg" happy noises.

I'm initially stunned but my sister (who has a big mouth) looks right at the guy and says (LOUD!)

"HEY THAT'S THE SMALLEST PENIS I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!"

Guy puts his schlong back in his pants and rushes out.
 
2003-03-27 03:03:27 PM  
Virtually anything they can rub up against through their pants is masturbatory exercise.

Oh god! How come they never choose to rub up against me!? I'm available ladies!
 
2003-03-27 03:03:30 PM  
When my friend and I (approx. 1981) were scouting for someone to buy us Mad Dog 20/20, a guy said he'd do it for us if we'd meet him in the back of the store to "give him the $".

Well, he grabbed my wrist and started whacking off, and wouldn't let me go. I got away, and my friend and I ran enough away and looked back. He was standing in front of the store with his pants all the way down, "finishing the job".

I always wonder if he graduated into rape or something of the sort.

Scary masterbating men.
 
2003-03-27 03:03:37 PM  
Can't you drive a tram with just one hand then?
 
2003-03-27 03:04:21 PM  
People, people why must some of you kill kittens outside the home?
 
2003-03-27 03:04:38 PM  
Okay, how about:
Some frootloop, whackin' it, in broad daylight, next to my car in the parking lot at Giant. He had to finish somewhere else (I yelled at him really loudly, and he went away).
Still glad my car windows were all the way up that day.

And yes, everybody probably does have a story.
 
2003-03-27 03:06:22 PM  
My ex-wife used to love to sit at tables in restaurants wearing a short skirt without panties - and then flash anyone who looked her way. She did it in a nice way, as though she was just uncrossing her legs, or moving around in her seat. Funny thing is, I only caught on after she had been doing it for years.
 
2003-03-27 03:07:40 PM  
my real one:

friend had a grudge against a teacher.

spunked in his chair after hours one day.

note to self: don't fark with jared.
 
2003-03-27 03:07:55 PM  
The biatch NEVER flashed me, by the way.
 
2003-03-27 03:08:48 PM  
Electra225

Hmmm..I'd be pissed.
 
2003-03-27 03:09:16 PM  
Electra
healthiest. relationship. ever.
 
2003-03-27 03:10:08 PM  
Electra225,

Just a hunch... was infidelity a factor in her becoming your EX-wife?
 
2003-03-27 03:10:19 PM  
GIS for "Train & Pound"
 
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