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(Independent News)   Earth at risk of turning inside out, killing everyone at speed of light. No, really.   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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6420 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2001 at 12:00 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

72 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-09-19 10:19:39 PM  
Sucks to live on Earth! Hah...ohhhh.
2001-09-20 12:03:57 AM  
2001-09-20 12:05:51 AM  
Theres nothing there.
2001-09-20 12:06:53 AM  
Somehow, SOMEHOW, the lawyers will get involved with this and we'll all end up paying more taxes. Mark my words.
2001-09-20 12:07:47 AM  
won't work for me either.

Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon.
2001-09-20 12:08:00 AM  
Oops, nevermind that was supposed to be on the Yahoo Hack thing.

Yeah, I'm dumb.
2001-09-20 12:14:33 AM  
Ishidan, you bastard!
You beat me to the quote!
2001-09-20 12:20:52 AM  
Gotta love IMDb, Nanook.
2001-09-20 12:23:49 AM  
So these assholes have reported one more possible doomsday scenario which we can not possibly stop. Thanks a shiatload science. I didn't need to know that shiat.
2001-09-20 12:28:50 AM  
2001-09-20 12:35:23 AM  
LOL DangerDummy.

Well. I'm still here.
Still here.. Guess everything's still okay.
OH shiat!
Oh. Never mind. False alarm.

Somehow I doubt that this whopper of a reversal is going to happen.. Somebody probably cubed when they should have squared a value..
I'd like to SEE this data! And DEMAND that the "scientist" who drew it up explain it all and give me the many years of education it requires to comprehend it!

Uhh.. Inverted Earth uber alles?
2001-09-20 12:36:35 AM  
Damn you, stupid Universe. Will you never learn?
2001-09-20 12:38:35 AM  
All life being extinguished at the speed of light... Hrm, doesn't sound too painful. I think I'll take the risk of continuing living.
2001-09-20 12:41:06 AM  
I agree... It'll never (fwoomp)

BTW: I'm pretty sure 'fwoomp' *is* the sound the universe would make if it turned inside out.
2001-09-20 12:41:56 AM  
I think I'm the only crazy guy here. It says...

"We're all gonna die, your protons are gonna explode and we'll all be not alive and we're gonna shoot at a astroid with missles and everybody will be dead from not good stuff in the air."

Maybe I should read it again, i think I missed something.
2001-09-20 12:43:20 AM  
Too many physicists, not enough physics.
2001-09-20 12:49:40 AM  
Aw, shiat. One more thing to worry about.
2001-09-20 12:52:51 AM  
Tell ya what guys, I'll offer you "universe collapse" insurance for only.. say.. $50/mo. And you get a free coffee mug with a smiley face on it.
2001-09-20 12:53:01 AM  
We as Americans won't stand for this. Together we can bomb the hell out of that damn black wave.
2001-09-20 12:54:16 AM  
And someone will open up a theme restaurant that lets you experience it live with your dinner. The dinner that introduced itself to you before heading off to the chefs.
2001-09-20 12:56:59 AM  
Don't think there is much chance of this happening in any of our lifetimes.

>We as Americans won't stand for this. Together we can bomb >the hell out of that damn black wave.

-And yeah if the black wave does come we can just get the Americans to nuke the hell out of it --problem solved!
2001-09-20 01:07:35 AM  
Ok... I got a degree in physics in college and I really this whole "Black Wave" thing sounds more like somebody lost a bet at CERN and had to tell the press some silly bullshiat.

As for the theory that every particle has a heavier version of itself and it can be changed into the heavier version. That is true. But it only happens for a fraction of a moment and then reverts back with a small explosion of energy. It does not though cause every other particle around it to do the same.
2001-09-20 01:12:44 AM  
and now a Lost Deep Thought by jack Handey ;

People need to realize that every time they talk about how "fragile " our planet is , It's just like asking outer - space aliens to come invade us .
2001-09-20 01:25:21 AM  
Well, at least we'll all go quickly, right? RIGHT?!?!
2001-09-20 01:41:07 AM  

Damn, that's funny.

Seriously, they did this on a Star Trek: Voyager, complete with the solution to the problem, but nobody was watching. (If the ST:V tape breaks, and nobody is watching - but I repeat myself.)
2001-09-20 01:52:18 AM  
However, Dr Allanach said the universe had lasted 15 billion years and the prospect of the phenomenon was one in 169 million million or the equivalent of winning two consecutive lotteries.

fark. I've won the lottery twice in a row.
2001-09-20 01:58:00 AM  
As the official (hehe) Thong Inspector of Farkistan(office of measurement and propriety,) I hereby offer the sound of "Fwoomp" to the vacuum created when a female 'digs' said thong out of the said cavity, when releaving pressure. This is nothing to see, and I advise all farkers to continue Farking.
2001-09-20 02:14:38 AM  
It is theoretically possible my butt will spontaniously start to dispense McDonalds strawberry milkshakes. However, I won't be holding my breath in anticipation.
2001-09-20 02:17:41 AM  
You should try holding your breath. It's a rush! It's called a Spacemonkey.
2001-09-20 02:19:15 AM  
That settles it. Pencil me in as the new Secretary of Supersymmetry for the country of Farkistan. I've got enough ripped fabric in my closet to destroy a dozen universes.
2001-09-20 03:01:07 AM  
FastJeff: The article read to me like two articles that weren't properly separated.

Read " in 169 million million or the equivalent of winning two consecutive lotteries." to be the end of article one.
2001-09-20 03:37:02 AM  
"Damn you, stupid Universe. Will you never learn?"
hahahahahahahaha... that nearly killed me when i read that spacegoat. eeeeehehehehe, dunno why. um, if anyone cares, hi. i'm new. as it seems to be with most new farkers, longtime lurker, first time poster. be gentle.

beware the luck o the irish...
2001-09-20 04:26:55 AM  
Surf's up on the black wave.
2001-09-20 05:04:41 AM  
As long as it happens today. Life sucks.
2001-09-20 05:53:09 AM  
Another reason why I only buy a month of internet access at a time.
2001-09-20 06:22:08 AM  
Laundry, toe-nail clipping, get the dog de-fleaed, by milk... Now this? Like I don't have enough to worry about? Sheesh.
2001-09-20 06:54:06 AM  
but enough warning had to be given to prepare nuclear weapons to divert it away from Earth.

How is the mass of a 1,000 lbs nuclear warhead going to push a 1 billion ton asteroid out of Earth's way? Last I heard we don't have the launch power to push enough mass into space to blow up and move the asteroid. It'll be a sad day when all these nukes go flying and they all they do is create craters on the surface.
2001-09-20 06:59:10 AM  
Is Uncle Sam in that FARK Logo playing frisbee or what?
2001-09-20 07:08:58 AM  
*shrug* I wonder how much time they wasted comeing up with that theory. theres no way we could stop that so why even worry.
2001-09-20 07:55:27 AM  
Ok so... when do we crack open the skulls of our loved ones and feast on there tender brains?
2001-09-20 07:56:08 AM  
Black Wave was popular in the 80's when ex-members of the Temptations got down with that bad-aaassss Devo sound.
2001-09-20 08:32:14 AM  
It's all the fault of those damn Vogons!

"`The first ten million years were the worst,' said Marvin, `and the second ten million, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.'"
2001-09-20 08:33:32 AM  
The Irish are lucky?! ;P
2001-09-20 08:44:52 AM  
[...]the prospect of a "black wave" sweeping over the world.

The revolution will not be televised!
2001-09-20 08:46:39 AM  
Ok, I am so so so sick of all this bullshiat physics. Like ok, physics has its place, and it's ok there. But so often these people get way the hell carried away with all their little mathematical formulas that they forget COMMON SENSE. Everything has an equivalent part, only heavier? Where is it? In another dimension? PLEASE. This is just like all that nonsense about how there are, what, 10? 15? 20? 50000 dimensions? These folks have gone off and gotten so "smart" that they aren't anymore. It's just physics sensationalism, so we'll pay attention to them and they'll feel important or selfless or something.

Like ok, there's a very tangential point in "Amusing Ourselves to Death," but one that stuck to me very well, much more than the main point actually. Think about the ancient Greeks, and they used what they knew then to come up with all sorts of theories and such about all kinds of things. And they based all of it on logic, saying that was how you could ultimately gain knowledge and stuff like that. Using this, they came up with some true things, yes, but also lots of much more cochemeny ideas. Physicists today are no different. They use mathematics, which is really not as advanced past the logic of the ancient Greeks as they'd like to think, and, like the Greeks, come up with some stuff that's true and some that clearly isn't. What amazes me is how many people are willing to forgo their common sense and believe this nonsense. SHEESH.
2001-09-20 08:54:54 AM  
Looks like the new game HALO wont seem like anything new...
2001-09-20 08:55:01 AM  
I dont think anyone should give a fark about this. Theres nothing we can do and if it happens we wont even know about it.
2001-09-20 09:31:01 AM  
Is this an article on black waves or asteroid strikes???? AHhh!
2001-09-20 09:36:55 AM  
I've been hacking into this universe thingee, as we speak and I don't see any. . . uh oh.
2001-09-20 09:44:24 AM  
Sounds like the nexus ribbon off of star trek generations.
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