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Welcome to the best month for recycling. No, not white elephant gifts, but crap that passes for news. Also, Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/22 - 11/28
Posted by Drew at 2009-11-30 1:23:19 PM (50 comments) | Permalink
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The annual commercial for the accounting firm that compiles the "pulled out of their ass" figures for the cost of the Twelve Days of Christmas ran today. December is the month of recycled crap news. It'll be heavier than usual this year due to the End of the Decade. Beware of Top 10 Whatever Lists of the Decade in inconvenient, pageview-generating slideshow format.
Speaking of which, what are we going to call the past decade? 00s? Wikipedia claims someone suggested calling it the "naughties". The UN has apparently named it "Decade for the Promotion of a Culture of Peace and Non-Violence for the Children of the World". Which, aside from sounding like something Borat would have come up with, really doesn't sum up the past 10 years in any way shape or form. Personally I'm leaning toward "the aughts" til someone comes up with something better. I'm also noticing a lot of people calling next year "twenty oh ten".
So last week we talked about how I suspected a lot of the people standing in line for Black Friday stuff were just going to resell it on eBay. I ran a check on a number of items featured in a CNN article on "Best Free Commercial for Target and Walmart"... I mean Black Friday Deals. I didn't see a noticable uptick on any of them for sale on eBay, however I also don't know if the items featured were for sale in all stores (I'm assuming so). However several thousand more Wiis are up on eBay now. Probably just coincidence.
Also last week we talked about how today is Cyber Monday. It started as a hoax PR stunt, but has since morphed into a reason for online retailers to mark stuff down and attract free press. Personally I've noticed I've started writing down the names of gifts I see in brick and mortar stores so I can order them online later. I'm terrible at getting presents sent off on time, this saves me the trouble.
One final reminder, our Headline of the Year contest is coming up this month. It's being coordinated by Unfreakable again, so if you have questions or want to help, he's the guy to talk to. All of the Headline of the Week winners get an automatic berth, and there were two nomination threads, one on
November 16 and another on November 20. We're trying to get the final voting threads up for you all in about two weeks.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-11-22 to Sat 2009-11-28:
Macy's Thanksgiving parade changes route; Charlie Brown balloon to get a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
Despite efforts to discourage them, Iraqi refugees keep flocking to Detroit, since living in a war-torn third world hellhole reminds them of home
County jail inmates denied hot meals for past five weeks because of broken kettles for boiling and heating. As God is my witness, I thought turnkeys could fry
Twelve Iranian couples to be stoned after deciding to give partner swapping a try, demonstrating once again how they do everything backwards over there
Celebrated trial lawyer died driving unsafe and uncrashworthy SUV on negligently designed and maintained road that one or more persons had maliciously allowed to become wet in the rain. He never had a chance
"Gunfight at Chicken World Leaves One Dead." Looks like someone went off half-cocked, but I think this reporter still deserves a Pullet Surprise
"Godfather of Spam" sentenced to 51 months of meat in his can
Lovers reportedly have sex in clock tower in broad daylight - of course that's only second hand
Studies show that men who stifle their anger at work are more than twice as likely to die of a heart attack; those that don't are more than twice as likely to die of malnutrition and exposure from living in a cardboard box
♫ Grandma got pulled over by a trooper / Driving with a kid Thanksgiving Eve / You may say that jailing her's excessive / But then again, she blew point four fifteen ♫
It's curtains for two in beefeater scandal
New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin had a stalker. A male stalker. A retarded male stalker. No, the stalker wasn't Eli Manning
Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to knock out the rear window of the car after last night's accident. Police said she initially had a sand wedge, but then chose a 9 iron and hooded it after testing the wind
Britain makes case that 2018 soccer World Cup should be held in the U.K., pointing out that it may be the only time in their lives that British soccer fans get to see what the trophy looks like
Three hajj pilgrims die of some funky cold in Medina
Men suddenly claim to be more religious when they're trying to get laid, proving that there truly are no atheists in fox holes
Power plant in Norway uses salt to generate electricity. The excitement that scientists are feeling is a white-NaCl ride
Zac Efron wants to play a James Bond villain in "Dr. No Staying Out Past Your Curfew"
Heidi Klum officially takes husband Seal's last name, will now be known as Heidi
Chinese democracy leaders appeal to Obama. They get down on their sha na na na na na na na knees, knees
Obama's accept delivery of 2009 Christmas tree. The tree came from West Virginia, so there is at least one thing born and raised in America currently in the White House
IAEA sends strongly worded memo to Iran, U.S. hints at larger font sizes to come
Lady Gaga spent $1,000 on 80 pizzas for fans waiting for her autograph. We can only assume that there was extra sausage
Kid Rock still angry he starred in a sex tape with Creed's Scott Stapp, really wishes it had been Nickelback's Chad Kroeger
Guns 'N' Roses announce string of Asian concerts, proving that it only took them 16 years to reach the point where they're big in Japan
CEOs cashed in before Wall Street meltdown. In other news, large moon discovered orbiting Earth
Koenigsegg pulls out. GM seen walking home, Saabing
Vietnam raises interest rates to combat eroding confidence with its dong, plans to try Spanish fly next
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