FARK.com: Blog (Drew): Welcome to the best month for recycling. No, not white elephant gifts, but crap that passes for news. Also, Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/22

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Welcome to the best month for recycling. No, not white elephant gifts, but crap that passes for news. Also, Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/22 - 11/28
Posted by Drew at 2009-11-30 1:23:19 PM (50 comments) | Permalink

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The annual commercial for the accounting firm that compiles the "pulled out of their ass" figures for the cost of the Twelve Days of Christmas ran today. December is the month of recycled crap news. It'll be heavier than usual this year due to the End of the Decade. Beware of Top 10 Whatever Lists of the Decade in inconvenient, pageview-generating slideshow format.

Speaking of which, what are we going to call the past decade? 00s? Wikipedia claims someone suggested calling it the "naughties". The UN has apparently named it "Decade for the Promotion of a Culture of Peace and Non-Violence for the Children of the World". Which, aside from sounding like something Borat would have come up with, really doesn't sum up the past 10 years in any way shape or form. Personally I'm leaning toward "the aughts" til someone comes up with something better. I'm also noticing a lot of people calling next year "twenty oh ten".
So last week we talked about how I suspected a lot of the people standing in line for Black Friday stuff were just going to resell it on eBay. I ran a check on a number of items featured in a CNN article on "Best Free Commercial for Target and Walmart"... I mean Black Friday Deals. I didn't see a noticable uptick on any of them for sale on eBay, however I also don't know if the items featured were for sale in all stores (I'm assuming so). However several thousand more Wiis are up on eBay now. Probably just coincidence.

Also last week we talked about how today is Cyber Monday. It started as a hoax PR stunt, but has since morphed into a reason for online retailers to mark stuff down and attract free press. Personally I've noticed I've started writing down the names of gifts I see in brick and mortar stores so I can order them online later. I'm terrible at getting presents sent off on time, this saves me the trouble.

One final reminder, our Headline of the Year contest is coming up this month. It's being coordinated by Unfreakable again, so if you have questions or want to help, he's the guy to talk to. All of the Headline of the Week winners get an automatic berth, and there were two nomination threads, one on
November 16 and another on November 20. We're trying to get the final voting threads up for you all in about two weeks.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-11-22 to Sat 2009-11-28:

Macy's Thanksgiving parade changes route; Charlie Brown balloon to get a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue

Despite efforts to discourage them, Iraqi refugees keep flocking to Detroit, since living in a war-torn third world hellhole reminds them of home

County jail inmates denied hot meals for past five weeks because of broken kettles for boiling and heating. As God is my witness, I thought turnkeys could fry

Twelve Iranian couples to be stoned after deciding to give partner swapping a try, demonstrating once again how they do everything backwards over there

Celebrated trial lawyer died driving unsafe and uncrashworthy SUV on negligently designed and maintained road that one or more persons had maliciously allowed to become wet in the rain. He never had a chance

"Gunfight at Chicken World Leaves One Dead." Looks like someone went off half-cocked, but I think this reporter still deserves a Pullet Surprise

"Godfather of Spam" sentenced to 51 months of meat in his can

Lovers reportedly have sex in clock tower in broad daylight - of course that's only second hand

Studies show that men who stifle their anger at work are more than twice as likely to die of a heart attack; those that don't are more than twice as likely to die of malnutrition and exposure from living in a cardboard box

♫ Grandma got pulled over by a trooper / Driving with a kid Thanksgiving Eve / You may say that jailing her's excessive / But then again, she blew point four fifteen ♫

It's curtains for two in beefeater scandal

Sports:

New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin had a stalker. A male stalker. A retarded male stalker. No, the stalker wasn't Eli Manning

Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to knock out the rear window of the car after last night's accident. Police said she initially had a sand wedge, but then chose a 9 iron and hooded it after testing the wind

Britain makes case that 2018 soccer World Cup should be held in the U.K., pointing out that it may be the only time in their lives that British soccer fans get to see what the trophy looks like

Geek:

Three hajj pilgrims die of some funky cold in Medina

Men suddenly claim to be more religious when they're trying to get laid, proving that there truly are no atheists in fox holes

Power plant in Norway uses salt to generate electricity. The excitement that scientists are feeling is a white-NaCl ride

Showbiz:

Zac Efron wants to play a James Bond villain in "Dr. No Staying Out Past Your Curfew"

Heidi Klum officially takes husband Seal's last name, will now be known as Heidi

David Hassellhoffspitalized

Politics:

Chinese democracy leaders appeal to Obama. They get down on their sha na na na na na na na knees, knees

Obama's accept delivery of 2009 Christmas tree. The tree came from West Virginia, so there is at least one thing born and raised in America currently in the White House

IAEA sends strongly worded memo to Iran, U.S. hints at larger font sizes to come

Music:

Lady Gaga spent $1,000 on 80 pizzas for fans waiting for her autograph. We can only assume that there was extra sausage

Kid Rock still angry he starred in a sex tape with Creed's Scott Stapp, really wishes it had been Nickelback's Chad Kroeger

Guns 'N' Roses announce string of Asian concerts, proving that it only took them 16 years to reach the point where they're big in Japan

Business:

CEOs cashed in before Wall Street meltdown. In other news, large moon discovered orbiting Earth

Koenigsegg pulls out. GM seen walking home, Saabing

Vietnam raises interest rates to combat eroding confidence with its dong, plans to try Spanish fly next

· · ·

(view entire blog)

50 Comments (+0 »)

sens		2009-11-30 01:42:39 PM

Fact that may shock you to the core: just like at your office, there are fewer workers manning the desks at media outlets during the holidays.

No, the news never stops, but journalists are working stiffs like the rest of you and deserve some time off too. Don't expect the most earth-shattering new story ideas to get pitched around this time.

Yup, some stuff might get recycled, and that low-hanging fruit is gonna get picked.

I'd also like to point out in the most friendly way possible that Drew recycles the "this time of the year has lots of recycled news" line several times each year, every year, which by now makes it about as insightful as a football commentator pointing out that in order to win the game, your favorite team will need to put the ball in the end zone more times than that other team does.

BKITU		2009-11-30 02:01:02 PM

And I made the list.

/flex

netweavr		2009-11-30 02:08:11 PM

sens: Fact that may shock you to the core: just like at your office, there are fewer workers manning the desks at media outlets during the holidays.

No, the news never stops, but journalists are working stiffs like the rest of you and deserve some time off too. Don't expect the most earth-shattering new story ideas to get pitched around this time.

Yup, some stuff might get recycled, and that low-hanging fruit is gonna get picked.

I'd also like to point out in the most friendly way possible that Drew recycles the "this time of the year has lots of recycled news" line several times each year, every year, which by now makes it about as insightful as a football commentator pointing out that in order to win the game, your favorite team will need to put the ball in the end zone more times than that other team does.

If you look closely, you can see the fallacy.

perdu		2009-11-30 02:09:45 PM

I was treated to stories by my local TV news station ('TNH New Haven) this AM about The Twelve Days and Cyber Monday.

Which makes me wonder - how much would I save on The Twelve Days' Gifts - if I ordered them all on Cyber Monday?

HaywoodJablonski		2009-11-30 02:11:49 PM

I liked the Heidi Klum headline

Flying Code Monkey		2009-11-30 02:12:47 PM

sens: I'd also like to point out in the most friendly way possible that Drew recycles the "this time of the year has lots of recycled news" line several times each year, every year, which by now makes it about as insightful as a football commentator pointing out that in order to win the game, your favorite team will need to put the ball in the end zone more times than that other team does.

An unkind person, one in search of material for a book, might use words like "lazy" or "easy" to describe this practice.

DeadZone		2009-11-30 02:13:37 PM

I'm also noticing a lot of people calling next year "twenty oh ten".

Great, a stupid drunken Irish year..

PowerSlacker		2009-11-30 02:22:02 PM

If you call it "twenty oh ten", you're a mouthbreather that needs to be exterminated by a death panel.

KingKauff		2009-11-30 02:27:04 PM

Naughty Aughties?

ummm...is this really the end of the decade? I thought it had a whole other years to go.

This Looks Fun		2009-11-30 02:27:55 PM

PowerSlacker: If you call it "twenty oh ten", you're a mouthbreather that needs to be exterminated by a death panel.

I can do "Madden oh ten," or just "oh ten," but "twenty oh ten?" That's too much.

This Looks Fun		2009-11-30 02:28:35 PM

KingKauff: Naughty Aughties?

ummm...is this really the end of the decade? I thought it had a whole other years to go.

0-9 = 10 years.

MuadDib		2009-11-30 02:29:25 PM

Bummer. BCS-Ari Fleischer didn't make the cut.

scout48		2009-11-30 02:31:45 PM

I thought all years were drunken Irish years, but then my last name is McBee, so what would I know about that.

The English Major		2009-11-30 02:36:05 PM

BKITU: And I made the list.

/flex

That Spam one had me laughing for quite some time.

/had one too

PowerSlacker		2009-11-30 02:36:42 PM

This Looks Fun: PowerSlacker: If you call it "twenty oh ten", you're a mouthbreather that needs to be exterminated by a death panel.

I can do "Madden oh ten," or just "oh ten," but "twenty oh ten?" That's too much.

Every single one of those is retarded.

KingKauff		2009-11-30 02:38:20 PM

This Looks Fun: KingKauff: Naughty Aughties?

ummm...is this really the end of the decade? I thought it had a whole other years to go.

0-9 = 10 years.

But zero isn't a number! It's an empty set. Hell, not even the Greeks could understand the concept of zero. Ergo, it's not a number at all.

nrdgrl		2009-11-30 02:38:22 PM

I will be referring to this last decade as the Nulls.

sneakynotsneaky		2009-11-30 02:42:22 PM

The three from politics win for me this week.

Sir Vanderhoot		2009-11-30 02:46:07 PM

netweavr: sens: Fact that may shock you to the core: just like at your office, there are fewer workers manning the desks at media outlets during the holidays.

No, the news never stops, but journalists are working stiffs like the rest of you and deserve some time off too. Don't expect the most earth-shattering new story ideas to get pitched around this time.

Yup, some stuff might get recycled, and that low-hanging fruit is gonna get picked.

I'd also like to point out in the most friendly way possible that Drew recycles the "this time of the year has lots of recycled news" line several times each year, every year, which by now makes it about as insightful as a football commentator pointing out that in order to win the game, your favorite team will need to put the ball in the end zone more times than that other team does.

If you look closely, you can see the fallacy.

The fact that it's possible to win a football game while getting fewer touchdowns than your opponent?

This Looks Fun		2009-11-30 02:53:33 PM

PowerSlacker: This Looks Fun: PowerSlacker: If you call it "twenty oh ten", you're a mouthbreather that needs to be exterminated by a death panel.

I can do "Madden oh ten," or just "oh ten," but "twenty oh ten?" That's too much.

Every single one of those is retarded.

Well, yeah. But so is assuming your opinion on the internet is relevant. I'm just saying that of the 3, the last is the most abusive.

DammitIForgotMyLogin		2009-11-30 02:54:27 PM

The English Major: Spam

Only one? You're slipping ;)

/only two

netweavr		2009-11-30 02:54:39 PM

Sir Vanderhoot: netweavr: sens: Fact that may shock you to the core: just like at your office, there are fewer workers manning the desks at media outlets during the holidays.

No, the news never stops, but journalists are working stiffs like the rest of you and deserve some time off too. Don't expect the most earth-shattering new story ideas to get pitched around this time.

Yup, some stuff might get recycled, and that low-hanging fruit is gonna get picked.

I'd also like to point out in the most friendly way possible that Drew recycles the "this time of the year has lots of recycled news" line several times each year, every year, which by now makes it about as insightful as a football commentator pointing out that in order to win the game, your favorite team will need to put the ball in the end zone more times than that other team does.

If you look closely, you can see the fallacy.

The fact that it's possible to win a football game while getting fewer touchdowns than your opponent?

...

Two fallacies then.

This Looks Fun		2009-11-30 02:55:25 PM

KingKauff: This Looks Fun: KingKauff: Naughty Aughties?

ummm...is this really the end of the decade? I thought it had a whole other years to go.

0-9 = 10 years.

But zero isn't a number! It's an empty set. Hell, not even the Greeks could understand the concept of zero. Ergo, it's not a number at all.

Sorry, let me clarify. 2000-2009 = 10 years.

/Yes, I've studied set theory and get your joke.

SpaceButler		2009-11-30 03:00:11 PM

Flying Code Monkey: sens: I'd also like to point out in the most friendly way possible that Drew recycles the "this time of the year has lots of recycled news" line several times each year, every year, which by now makes it about as insightful as a football commentator pointing out that in order to win the game, your favorite team will need to put the ball in the end zone more times than that other team does.

An unkind person, one in search of material for a book, might use words like "lazy" or "easy" to describe this practice.

Indeed. If such a person were also to maintain a website exhibiting similar standards, I should hope he or she would at least refrain from calling it "news".

AgonistAlex		2009-11-30 03:00:23 PM

KingKauff: This Looks Fun: KingKauff: Naughty Aughties?

ummm...is this really the end of the decade? I thought it had a whole other years to go.

0-9 = 10 years.

But zero isn't a number! It's an empty set. Hell, not even the Greeks could understand the concept of zero. Ergo, it's not a number at all.

would it be easier on your mind to say 2000-2009 is 10 years.

HawgWild		2009-11-30 03:07:35 PM

AgonistAlex: KingKauff: This Looks Fun: KingKauff: Naughty Aughties?

ummm...is this really the end of the decade? I thought it had a whole other years to go.

0-9 = 10 years.

But zero isn't a number! It's an empty set. Hell, not even the Greeks could understand the concept of zero. Ergo, it's not a number at all.

would it be easier on your mind to say 2000-2009 is 10 years.

I hate to stick my head in the lion's mouth, here (this is Fark, after all) ... but isn't 2000 the last year of the 20th century? Doesn't that mean the 21st century started in 2001, hence the beginning of this decade?

/hides

cptdon		2009-11-30 03:11:06 PM

I thought 2000 was then end of the 20th century and 2001 was the beginning of the 21st century. So would that not make 2001 the first year of the decade and 2010 the final year of the decade?

SpaceButler		2009-11-30 03:15:06 PM

HawgWild		2009-11-30 03:15:15 PM

cptdon		2009-11-30 03:22:32 PM

HawgWild: 3:31

Well, I would have been first if you had not posted it before me!

HawgWild		2009-11-30 03:25:46 PM

cptdon: HawgWild: 3:31

Well, I would have been first if you had not posted it before me!

lulz ...

I think we are right, BTW.

C'mon, Farkers, prove us wrong!

phatface		2009-11-30 03:26:03 PM

Who green-lit this crap?

RevCarter		2009-11-30 03:38:47 PM

I propose we call the period between 2000 and 2009 "The Nillies"

This Looks Fun		2009-11-30 04:01:22 PM

cptdon: I thought 2000 was then end of the 20th century and 2001 was the beginning of the 21st century. So would that not make 2001 the first year of the decade and 2010 the final year of the decade?

I'm fairly confident that any 10-year period is a decade. And even though calendars started in year 1, from a 10-based system, 0-9 makes more sense than 1-0. So, 2001 may have been the beginning of the 21st century, 2000 was the beginning of the decade we are in.

The English Major		2009-11-30 04:17:50 PM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: The English Major: Spam

Only one? You're slipping ;)

/only two

What can I say. I still can't believe how many votes the Hasselhoff one had.

/good job on yours

thirdgrader		2009-11-30 04:29:45 PM

I generally refer to this decade as the millennium decade. Or the new millennium. Or whatever. Seems to get the point across.

MBFGeek		2009-11-30 04:49:42 PM

thirdgrader: I generally refer to this decade as the millennium decade. Or the new millennium. Or whatever. Seems to get the point across.

We stand on the doorstep to a new millenium...

ElusiveKismet		2009-11-30 04:57:00 PM

I love Fark!

ElusiveKismet		2009-11-30 04:57:54 PM

CEOs cashed in before Wall Street meltdown. In other news, large moon discovered orbiting Earth

Love it!

Trielli		2009-11-30 05:06:26 PM

This Looks Fun: cptdon: I thought 2000 was then end of the 20th century and 2001 was the beginning of the 21st century. So would that not make 2001 the first year of the decade and 2010 the final year of the decade?

I'm fairly confident that any 10-year period is a decade. And even though calendars started in year 1, from a 10-based system, 0-9 makes more sense than 1-0. So, 2001 may have been the beginning of the 21st century, 2000 was the beginning of the decade we are in.

I agree. However, that also means that the first AD "decade" had nine years (years 1-9)!

I am Ahab		2009-11-30 05:25:05 PM

Trielli: I agree. However, that also means that the first AD "decade" had nine years (years 1-9)!

Now you've gone and done it.

www.motifake.com

rancidPlasma		2009-11-30 05:43:02 PM

WABC New York (Radio) just had a blurb about Cyber Monday.

Trielli		2009-11-30 06:00:48 PM

I am Ahab: Trielli: I agree. However, that also means that the first AD "decade" had nine years (years 1-9)!

Now you've gone and done it.

Crap...

/walks away whistling.

This Looks Fun		2009-11-30 06:05:20 PM

Trielli: This Looks Fun: cptdon: I thought 2000 was then end of the 20th century and 2001 was the beginning of the 21st century. So would that not make 2001 the first year of the decade and 2010 the final year of the decade?

I'm fairly confident that any 10-year period is a decade. And even though calendars started in year 1, from a 10-based system, 0-9 makes more sense than 1-0. So, 2001 may have been the beginning of the 21st century, 2000 was the beginning of the decade we are in.

I agree. However, that also means that the first AD "decade" had nine years (years 1-9)!

Every decade has 10 years. We get around that whole starting at 1 thing by not strongly numbering the decades as we do the centuries.

/I'm fairly certain I'd be willing to argue this one either way, purely for the entertainment.

Trielli		2009-11-30 06:17:13 PM

This Looks Fun: Trielli: This Looks Fun: cptdon: I thought 2000 was then end of the 20th century and 2001 was the beginning of the 21st century. So would that not make 2001 the first year of the decade and 2010 the final year of the decade?

I'm fairly confident that any 10-year period is a decade. And even though calendars started in year 1, from a 10-based system, 0-9 makes more sense than 1-0. So, 2001 may have been the beginning of the 21st century, 2000 was the beginning of the decade we are in.

I agree. However, that also means that the first AD "decade" had nine years (years 1-9)!

Every decade has 10 years. We get around that whole starting at 1 thing by not strongly numbering the decades as we do the centuries.

/I'm fairly certain I'd be willing to argue this one either way, purely for the entertainment.

Oh, I'm definitly with you on the decade counting business, that whole first AD decade stuff was all about entertainment.

BUT let's keep this ball rolling:

Considering we use the term "decade" to talk about not only ten-year periods, but also of cultural phases - The 60s, The 70s, The 80s. And these cultural phases tend to last about 10 years, but they don't coincide the actual decades. Example: the early 60s is culturally closer to the late 50s than the late 60s - wich are closer to the early 70s etc.

why not use the term "decade" specifically to divide these cultural phases? So the decade we call "The 50s" should really be 1955-1965. And "The 60s" should really be 1965-1975, and so on...

Delay		2009-11-30 09:48:39 PM

video man		2009-11-30 09:56:10 PM

Because this shiatty decade is shiatty, I propose we all forget about it. We went from 1999 to 2010, nothing ever happened in between.

Wets		2009-12-01 12:49:56 AM

All I know is tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999, do do dodo dee da do...

cycle23		2009-12-01 04:58:59 AM

YANKEE SWAP!

This Looks Fun		2009-12-01 09:58:57 AM

Delay: This Looks Fun: Trielli: This Looks Fun: cptdon: I thought 2000 was then end of the 20th century and 2001 was the beginning of the 21st century. So would that not make 2001 the first year of the decade and 2010 the final year of the decade?

I'm fairly confident that any 10-year period is a decade. And even though calendars started in year 1, from a 10-based system, 0-9 makes more sense than 1-0. So, 2001 may have been the beginning of the 21st century, 2000 was the beginning of the decade we are in.

I agree. However, that also means that the first AD "decade" had nine years (years 1-9)!

Every decade has 10 years. We get around that whole starting at 1 thing by not strongly numbering the decades as we do the centuries.

/I'm fairly certain I'd be willing to argue this one either way, purely for the entertainment.

Every decade has more or less ten years. There's not a fixed start. A decade is just a span of time like "fortnight", which confuses some people or "coon's age" which some people think is politically incorrect.

Well, damn. I thought fortnight was 2 weeks even. BRB, gonna Google that.

Wiki: "The fortnight is a unit of time equivalent to fourteen days. The word derives from the Old English feorwertyne niht, meaning "fourteen nights"."

You might be onto something with coon's age...

Yep. Straight dope.com: "It actually refers to raccoons. The expression "in a coon's age" dates to the early 1800s, and to the folk belief that raccoons are long-lived. My pal Colibri of the Straight Dope Science Advisory Board says, "References differ, but a wild individual raccoon might live up to 5 to 7 years (average survival being much lower, though, probably 2-3 years), and in captivity they can live up to 14-17 years. So their lifespan is comparable to that of a dog.""

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