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(Some Guy)   Step 1) Escape prison. Step 2) Steal cigarettes. Step 3) Return to prison with the cigarettes?   (ktvu.com) divider line 41
    More: Fail, Michael Queener, Turney Center Annex, cigarettes  
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8254 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2009 at 2:14 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-11-24 12:50:33 PM
Step 1) Escape prison. Step 2) Steal cigarettes and return to prison. Step 3) Profit?

FTFY Subbs
 
2009-11-24 01:32:33 PM
Actually, given the price of cigarettes inside a prison, the fact that it was a minimum-security facility, and the likelihood of housing and employment for people serving 5-10 year sentences for burglary, this plan sort of makes sense. They just shouldn't have sucked at it.
 
2009-11-24 02:16:07 PM
It was his turn to make the run?
 
2009-11-24 02:17:35 PM
How can they be charged with escape? Wouldn't they have to be caught OUTSIDE to have escaped?
 
2009-11-24 02:19:16 PM
Sure, it looks crazy to an outsider, but think of all the blowjobs and buttseks those smokes would get you in the can. Those guys would be d-block pimps for life.
 
2009-11-24 02:22:09 PM
and get a real job? fark that. im going back to my nice warm rent-free cell
 
2009-11-24 02:22:32 PM
bukketmaster: Sure, it looks crazy to an outsider, but think of all the blowjobs and buttseks those smokes would get you in the can.

Hee hee hee.
 
2009-11-24 02:23:06 PM
Those weren't cigarettes, those were Cohibas.
 
2009-11-24 02:23:11 PM
I'm not much on being a grammar nazi but cigarettesare spelled ceeguretts

cdn.stereogum.com

/hot
 
2009-11-24 02:23:14 PM
It worked for Jim Belushi.
 
2009-11-24 02:23:53 PM
No one said the guys populating our prisons are smart
 
2009-11-24 02:24:37 PM
suraimu: It worked for Jim Belushi.

Nothing has worked for Jim Belushi.
 
2009-11-24 02:26:17 PM
But did he make it to the Cubs game?
 
2009-11-24 02:26:46 PM
xen271: and get a real job? fark that. im going back to my nice warm rent-free cell

Warm? In my experience, not so much. It's so nice to be able to adjust your own thermostat, even if you have to have a job to be able to do it.
 
2009-11-24 02:28:14 PM
www.prisonflicks.com

Not doing it right...
 
2009-11-24 02:31:08 PM
hey at least they were consistent and stole the cigarettes
 
2009-11-24 02:31:43 PM
suraimu: It worked for Jim Belushi.

Wow...well done!!

/Why would he catch that fly ball??
 
2009-11-24 02:32:43 PM
gwally.com

"I dunno, sounded like a good plan to me."
 
2009-11-24 02:33:18 PM
www.trojanwire.com

What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.
 
2009-11-24 02:36:11 PM
I'm wondering how they determined the inmates broke out and stole the cigarettes. All the article said was, "it was discovered when they found the contraband."
 
2009-11-24 02:39:13 PM
His first night in the joint, Andy Dufresne cost me two packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound. 'Course, I had to send him out for 'em. Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of shiat and came out with a carton of smokes on the other side.
 
2009-11-24 02:40:35 PM
If it was really a "minimum security prison", the guards should have given them a ride there and back and paid for the cigarettes. It seems in actuality to be more of a "not very good security prison"...
 
2009-11-24 02:44:03 PM
Clock Spider Jerusalem: "I dunno, sounded like a good plan to me."

"This time, I've learned a lesson this time. About relationships and common senses. And I'm smoking great hash in prison!"
 
2009-11-24 02:46:04 PM
That one inmate's name is Queener.

QUEENER. And he's a prisoner.

Too...much...funny...ahhhh....
 
2009-11-24 02:49:13 PM
Bayor: xen271: and get a real job? fark that. im going back to my nice warm rent-free cell

Warm? In my experience, not so much. It's so nice to be able to adjust your own thermostat, even if you have to have a job to be able to do it.


Was about to say, clearly the poster has never spent the night on the county's dime.

Still, as relatively unpleasant as the conditions and food were, it'd almost be bearable without the slamming of giant iron doors at all hours of the night, waking up to see someone looking in on you through the little window, and the twice nightly freakout of some inmate or another. You haven't really had a bad nights sleep till you've sat through a guy freaking out alternating between begging, claustrophobia/toxic air freak out, and anger on 15 minute cycles. Thankfully come morning he hit the wrong point in the cycle at the wrong time and they sent six guys in full kit to extract him. As much as he pissed me off I still felt sorry for him. Something kind of heartbreaking about a guy getting the shockprod repeatedly while screaming his wife's name. His own fault for escalating it that far and continuing to resist, but that doesn't change the fact that it was sad. The trumped up napoleon complex jackass in the next cell over from me who yelled out (not sung, just yelled) some jackass country pride song lyrics every 30 minutes or so just to get a rise out of the CO, then after they tazed the other guy realized he'd pushed it as far as he was going to get away with and flooded his cell, however...he can fry for all I care. No one gives a shiat about your attempt at tough guy street cred in farking county holding. So yeah, almost bearable, but I'm pretty sure I'd snap in under 2 weeks. Just not good with people to begin with, much less people at their worst and most desperate.
 
2009-11-24 02:49:34 PM
moops: Clock Spider Jerusalem: "I dunno, sounded like a good plan to me."

"This time, I've learned a lesson this time. About relationships and common senses. And I'm smoking great hash in prison!"


"Kory, Trevor, smokes!!"
 
2009-11-24 02:55:58 PM
Bayor: xen271: and get a real job? fark that. im going back to my nice warm rent-free cell

Warm? In my experience, not so much. It's so nice to be able to adjust your own thermostat, even if you have to have a job to be able to do it.


Aww.. lets feel bad for the poor inmates because their cells are cold in the winter and hot in summer.
 
2009-11-24 03:02:20 PM
unicron702
It was his turn to make the run?

So is he a psychic blood-brother now that he's made THE RUN!?

images2.cinema.de

/Hot like Irene Cara.
 
2009-11-24 03:02:30 PM
Remember, you have to hide them up your ass.

www.southparkstuff.com

"Here comes space mountain, heeyyeeearrgghh"
 
2009-11-24 03:05:00 PM
www.dvdtalk.com

Could have learned a leason from watching these guys . . . they know how to escape and re-enter without getting caught.

/hot like Colonel Klink's tempter . . .
//HOGAN!!!!
///Schultz!!!
 
2009-11-24 03:44:51 PM
That's damn near commendable.
 
2009-11-24 03:46:57 PM
Claude Ballse: unicron702
It was his turn to make the run?

So is he a psychic blood-brother now that he's made THE RUN!?


THE RUN!

/made me laugh, thanks!
 
2009-11-24 03:49:23 PM
moondo: Bayor: xen271: and get a real job? fark that. im going back to my nice warm rent-free cell

Warm? In my experience, not so much. It's so nice to be able to adjust your own thermostat, even if you have to have a job to be able to do it.

Aww.. lets feel bad for the poor inmates because their cells are cold in the winter and hot in summer.


You realize you're trolling a response to someone trolling about how cushy the cells are? You're kind of all over the place. I want you to go back, rethink your strategies and come back with a more coherent game plan.
 
2009-11-24 03:51:03 PM
Do they play for The University of Tennessee?
 
2009-11-24 04:37:24 PM
Shakespeare's Monkey: What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.

Wow, John Goodman was practically svelte 20 years ago.
 
2009-11-24 05:12:49 PM
Bermuda59: Do they play for The University of Tennessee?

Bwahahahahahahaha.
I got a DWI once and while I was doing my 48 hrs, a couple of guys 'broke' out and made a liquor run and 'broke' back in.
Ahhhh good times.
 
2009-11-24 05:53:13 PM
Yeah, at least in Rogersville, over in Hawkins County, when they break out of jail, they pay for their beer before going back to the jail to drink it.

darn criminals stealin' stuff...
 
2009-11-24 06:35:13 PM
These cigarettes taste like shiat.
 
2009-11-24 06:38:15 PM
Hmm, no dice. They should have come back in with H and crack
 
2009-11-24 07:47:43 PM
Khallayne: That one inmate's name is Queener.

QUEENER. And he's a prisoner.

Too...much...funny...ahhhh....


I came here to post a somewhat similar comment, good sir.
Seriously, don't fark with that guy. You know how many teeth you need to kick in to live down a name like that?
/Sue shudders in fear
 
2009-11-24 11:42:21 PM
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
 
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