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(ICNetwork)   Doctors can't understand why men don't get their prostates checked more. Two words: Anal probe   (icwales.icnetwork.co.uk) divider line 95
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49 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2003 at 5:55 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-03-25 02:51:47 PM
/insert Road Trip reference here
 
2003-03-25 04:05:14 PM
Naw...that's not it. The atmosphere's all wrong. There should be candles, maybe some incense, mood music.....

*runs*
 
2003-03-25 04:06:24 PM
Oh come on, it's not THAT bad.

Besides, the probe my Dr. used had a nice "vibrate" setting that was quite soothing, so after 10 minutes or so it was kinda nice.


I'm sorry, what??
 
2003-03-25 04:49:52 PM
Researchers found only around 10% of men didn't seem to mind the invasive examination.
 
2003-03-25 09:18:40 PM
Could be something about another man handling your sack of berries...
 
2003-03-26 02:12:56 AM
Advice
During the exam if the doctor has both of his hands on your shoulders and you are still being anally probed. You should have probably had him buy dinner and drinks first. Then used peteykins advice during.
 
2003-03-26 03:58:14 AM
I go to a woman doctor.
 
2003-03-26 06:02:47 AM
My doc is somewhat of a wanna-be comedian...the 1st time he had to administer this procedure he said, "Now this is only my finger..."

And recently had to pay a visit to a urologist...charged me $275 to stick his finger in me arse...
 
2003-03-26 06:02:48 AM
a real man checks his own prostate.
 
2003-03-26 06:07:43 AM
Do you believe Wales is likely to be a target for a nuclear attack?

Yes 49.02%
No 50.98%

HAW HAW WALES WHO?
 
2003-03-26 06:09:16 AM
mmmmm, welch's grape jelly.
 
2003-03-26 06:11:00 AM
At least medical science is finally getting a clue - it's getting rarer and rarer now that they'll actually do invasive surgery for this sort of thing.


Here's a news flash guys - eventually ALL non-castrated human males get prostate cancer. Just a fact of life. The good thing is that 9 out of 10 times it's a slow growing form that would take longer to kill you than simple old age will.

That's how they're finally wising up and realizing that the surgery to correct it should only be used in cases of extremely fast-growing or advanced tumors. The surgery usually causes way more trouble than it's worth (impotence, incontinence, and still doesn't erradicate cancer).


That said, all farkers here should get ready to sing "Moon River" once every couple of years after hitting 40.
 
2003-03-26 06:12:29 AM
Yeah stupid wales. Nuke them all.
 
2003-03-26 06:13:09 AM
Nurses are the BEST! I dated one who showed me things I'll never forget. I didn't even know how easily accessible the prostate is to a woman with long fingernails.

Too much information is good for everybody!
 
2003-03-26 06:13:59 AM
so i went to the doctors for a stomache ache that woke me up in the morning (thats bad).. my female roomate takes me to the hospital.. we are in the exam room, docs asking me questions..taking vitals or whatever. then he says "is that your wife"..im like--no he asks "girlfriend" ..nopers.."well then, u might want to ask her to leave the room". at this moment i was thinking i was going to be asked to remove my shirt. i said its okay if she stays, we practically shower together. he then reaches for a glove and says "u sure". OMG.. my stomach hurts, my ass is fine. so those two share a good laugh. she goes outside the room and heckles me throught he door while some strange and handsome man gives my backdoor a lil peekaboo.
she didnt let that go for a few weeks. i miss her.
 
2003-03-26 06:14:05 AM
03-26-03 03:58:14 AM JOHNDX
I go to a woman doctor

Me too, I'd rather have her someone stick things up my arse than die of cancer.
 
2003-03-26 06:15:41 AM
- someone
 
2003-03-26 06:16:25 AM
Wow.
This is a hard post to comment to.
 
2003-03-26 06:17:04 AM
I'd vote for your post, ToffeeApple, but there is no way to vote.
 
2003-03-26 06:18:58 AM
03-26-03 06:17:04 AM Gryn

It's the thought that counts.
 
2003-03-26 06:19:11 AM
female doc says,"this is gonna hurt a little at first." man says "it's not that big."
 
2003-03-26 06:23:29 AM
Can you hear me now?
 
2003-03-26 06:28:46 AM
/insert South Park reference here
 
2003-03-26 06:33:03 AM
so, didja jump?
...only a little at first
 
2003-03-26 06:44:55 AM
 
2003-03-26 06:47:17 AM
I'm sure every proctologist are flaming homos who only got into the practice so they can shove thier gloved fingers into men's asses in a clean and sterile enviroment.

sickos...
 
2003-03-26 06:48:44 AM
I know a place on Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok where you can get a prostate probe for 700 baht (plus tip).
 
2003-03-26 06:50:00 AM
a bunch of coworkers just came back from Thailand.. oh the sins i wouldve commited. in my head.
 
2003-03-26 06:53:46 AM
I hate to be the envy of every farker in the universe, but my doctor is an Asian woman, I kid you not, and yes she has given me a rectal exam. It came out negative, not that anyone cares.
 
2003-03-26 06:57:03 AM
What you have no rectum?!?
 
2003-03-26 07:02:43 AM
Damn near killed-em
 
2003-03-26 07:04:09 AM
rectum. tee hee.


Now if only they could invent another way to get it checked.

A none-invasive way.
 
2003-03-26 07:04:38 AM
Lucid_one
ahahhahahaha
 
2003-03-26 07:06:52 AM
TheAnusThatAteManhattan
That said, all farkers here should get ready to sing "Moon River" once every couple of years after hitting 40.

Every couple years? 40? Jeez, I'm only 31 and I've been getting the rubber-glove treatment once a year for the last 3 or 4.

It's never to early to start. The 3 seconds of discomfort is worth an extra couple years on your life. I just wish the doctor would keep the gloves and jelly in a warmer drawer.
 
2003-03-26 07:11:58 AM
 
2003-03-26 07:12:08 AM
I always remember my first ...

Someone post a link to Bob the Anal Fissure, its an oldie but a goodie.
 
2003-03-26 07:13:58 AM
31!? I'm 31 and I've only ever had mine checked once, for a *ahem* different reason.
 
2003-03-26 07:18:05 AM
To my knowledge, I've never had a doctor stick anything up my arse, although I was under general anasthetic once, so who knows?
 
2003-03-26 07:22:50 AM
How does a squirrel check his prostate?

--He busts a nut.
 
2003-03-26 07:23:09 AM
And if this isn't fun enough, don't forget a good polyp harvesting to avoid colon cancer too.
/it's all in the hips.
 
2003-03-26 07:24:32 AM
What your doctor doesn't want you to know is that the digital rectal probe is not necessary. There is a simple and cheap quantitative blood test that will indicate an enlarged prostate. The test is the called the PSA test, or Prostate Specific Antigene test.

Your doctor doesn't want you to know about it because he doesn't make 10 cents taking blood samples. I will allow the digital rectal exam when the PSA test suggests that there may be a problem, and not before.
 
2003-03-26 07:27:50 AM
That is an awesome cartoon, Ishkur. I've never been probed for medical reasons before, but my doctor (female) played with my beanbag the last time I was there to check for testicular cancer. Odd thing is that I was only there for antidepressants. She said she does it to every guy who walks in for anything, because guys don't play with their own balls enough. But hey, that's why I got married!
 
2003-03-26 07:30:50 AM
Indigo-alien
What your doctor doesn't want you to know is that the digital rectal probe is not necessary. There is a simple and cheap quantitative blood test that will indicate an enlarged prostate. The test is the called the PSA test, or Prostate Specific Antigene test.
Check your facts. PSA is not necessarily effective in detecting prostate cancer in the early stages. A finger is.

Your doctor doesn't want you to know about it because he doesn't make 10 cents taking blood samples. I will allow the digital rectal exam when the PSA test suggests that there may be a problem, and not before.

The doctor makes more money sticking his finger in your ass than a needle in your arm?
 
2003-03-26 07:40:25 AM
My Dad called me up to his place in MI 2 weeks ago to tell me he is going off his chemo. He has fought prostate cancer for the last 10 years and decided enough is enough. Of course, I have shared all of this with my doc and now schedule for the finger wave every year. Since Dad also had a bout with colon cancer about 10 years ago the to do list has a sigmoidoscopy every couple of years. The device they use for that looks like one of Doc Oc's tentacles. After the colon exam a prostate exam is like driving a Volkswagon into a bus barn.
 
2003-03-26 07:40:28 AM
Dogfather_jr - I guess it never hurts to be too careful (unless your doctor is named Hugh Jands), but every doctor I've been to so far as my PCP has said they won't bother.

And it's not like I was going to demand it either. :-P
 
2003-03-26 07:42:17 AM
I always tell the women round here that I've had my prostate removed and I can't have sex. I haven't really, but the women in Cardiff take offense if you say they are too fat and ugly. The bit about it being the size of a golf ball was a coincidence. I had always assumed it was a lost golf ball. I was going to use it if I started playing again.
 
2003-03-26 07:45:04 AM
TheAnusThatAteManhattan
Dogfather_jr - I guess it never hurts to be too careful (unless your doctor is named Hugh Jands), but every doctor I've been to so far as my PCP has said they won't bother.

I'm a little different, probably. My grandfather died from prostate cancer, and my father was diagnosed with it at age 51 - it had progressed enough that they had to operate. They didn't get it all, and he was going to have to undergo radiation. It likely would have killed him, if the gallbladder cancer hadn't first.

While it may not be necessary, I will grin (grimace?) and bear it knowing that it might provide the early warning that allows my prostate cancer (because I will get it) to be treated early and without nasty side effects.
 
2003-03-26 07:51:13 AM
My roommates father put off seeing a Dr. for his prostate until it was too late. I remember the last time I saw him in the hospital. It spread to his lymph glands and his arm was the size of a football.

I also had a 40 year old friend who died from colon cancer. That's supposed to be too young for that but tell his wife an baby daughter.

I get tested for both every 2 years. Seriously, it's no big deal.
 
Rat
2003-03-26 08:19:32 AM
I always carry a tube of KY in my back pocket...you never know when you'll need it, and quite frankly, it shouldn't have to hurt (much)

/forgot which movie
 
2003-03-26 08:24:52 AM
Let me throw in my vote with the rest: prostate exams really suck.

However, having watched my father-in-law die of cancer, cancer sucks way more. I get the heebie-jeebies everytime I see that rubber glove, but I'll find a way to deal.
 
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