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(San Francisco 49ers)   'Anti monkey butt' powder gets to the bottom of things   (hamptonroads.com) divider line 91
    More: Amusing, powder, Dennis Malbone, Anti monkey butt, perspiration, Feed & Seed Ltd., Malbone Feed, Becky Cattani, Back Bay  
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14813 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2009 at 7:12 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-23 07:14:07 AM
What what?
 
2009-11-23 07:22:06 AM
Satan_Himself: What what?

anus
 
2009-11-23 07:22:15 AM
A story about a product.

An ad.

On fark.

Thank God, I'm paying like those Total Farkers.
 
2009-11-23 07:23:49 AM
Their site, my eyes. (Yes, I did have the link saved.)
 
2009-11-23 07:25:36 AM
Rectum
 
2009-11-23 07:26:37 AM
So other than clever marketing what makes it different than Gold Bond or something similar?
 
2009-11-23 07:27:00 AM
I've used this stuff before (you need something like this when you try an Iron Butt ride) but Gold Bond powder is cheaper and works just as well.
 
2009-11-23 07:27:32 AM
Sphincter

crab66: what makes it different than Gold Bond or something similar?

The main difference is, it does not work as well as Gold Bond
 
2009-11-23 07:28:22 AM
Cool... I pass right by their warehouse South of Austin quite often. Didn't know till just now that was their headquarters.
 
2009-11-23 07:28:55 AM
Link (new window)

Approves!!
 
2009-11-23 07:34:05 AM
Yea, well... Boudreaux's Butt Paste® was specifically formulated by a pharmacist with direction from a respected pediatrician to provide effective diaper rash / motorcycle rash care:

Butt Paste (pops)
 
2009-11-23 07:35:44 AM
Hoarf: I've used this stuff before (you need something like this when you try an Iron Butt ride) but Gold Bond powder is cheaper and works just as well.

I use plain baby powder every day after I shower, and keep it in my saddlebags, too. Along with spare undies (saddlebag, purse and desk).

Ah, life in the tropics.
 
2009-11-23 07:36:58 AM
It's made with anti-monkeys. If any monkeys get close to your butt they'll be instantly annihilated.
 
2009-11-23 07:37:34 AM
Used it, like it.
 
2009-11-23 07:39:19 AM
Does this article really contain a discussion about the chafing on a 14-year-old boy's butt?

Becky Cattani of Back Bay bought some Anti Monkey Butt last summer for her 14-year-old son, David.

"He chafes really bad, because he wears those tight pants " for skateboarding, she said.

"And then I used Monkey Butt Powder, and that has a cooling feeling to it," David said. "And that stopped the inflammation."


"Go on, go on!"
img.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-23 07:41:00 AM
I'm a big fan of the Extra Strength Gold Bond powder (green package). Careful about getting it on your coconuts, though, it'll tingle something fierce.

But it's great for the chafing when I'm on the road all day.
 
2009-11-23 07:41:12 AM
I used a mix of baby powder and cornstarch.
 
2009-11-23 07:43:46 AM
I tried it last year when camping in the desert and couldn't shower. It made life bearable.
 
2009-11-23 07:51:35 AM
vicejay: Yea, well... Boudreaux's Butt Paste® was specifically formulated by a pharmacist with direction from a respected pediatrician to provide effective diaper rash / motorcycle rash care:

Butt Paste (pops)


The exact product I was thinking about...
 
2009-11-23 07:52:33 AM
castufari: I used a mix of baby powder and cornstarch.

Ok, bad story time: while I was in school I was a cook in a pizza restaurant. The AC in that place sucked, and in the summer it would get hotter than blazes in the kitchen. One of the other cooks (not the smartest guy around) was complaining about how hot it was and about hw badly he was chafing. The dishwasher told him to go grab some corn starch and put it in his underwear to help out. About a half hour later his guy just won't stop scratching his nuts and is biatching about how dumb the dishwasher is. As it turns out, the guy found a box of corn meal and couldn't tell the difference.
I know, cool story, bro.
 
2009-11-23 07:54:14 AM
I used a mix of flour and bakers sugar.
 
2009-11-23 07:54:30 AM
Use it on my 8 month old all the time. Best baby powder out there.
 
2009-11-23 07:55:50 AM
Lettuce Pray: Use it on my 8 month old all the time. Best baby powder out there.

pics or it didn't happen
 
2009-11-23 07:55:53 AM
That stuff saved me when I moved to Tampa this past summer!
 
2009-11-23 07:56:18 AM
FTFA: Becky Cattani of Back Bay bought some Anti Monkey Butt last summer for her 14-year-old son, David.

"He chafes really bad, because he wears those tight pants " for skateboarding, she said.


Yes indeed. If there's any kind of kid who immediately springs to mind when you say "very tight pants", it's definitely skateboarders.
 
2009-11-23 07:56:37 AM
Hoarf: castufari: I used a mix of baby powder and cornstarch.

Ok, bad story time: while I was in school I was a cook in a pizza restaurant. The AC in that place sucked, and in the summer it would get hotter than blazes in the kitchen. One of the other cooks (not the smartest guy around) was complaining about how hot it was and about hw badly he was chafing. The dishwasher told him to go grab some corn starch and put it in his underwear to help out. About a half hour later his guy just won't stop scratching his nuts and is biatching about how dumb the dishwasher is. As it turns out, the guy found a box of corn meal and couldn't tell the difference.
I know, cool story, bro.


Fromunda Grits!
 
2009-11-23 07:58:36 AM
Monkey Butt. Ape Ass. Swamp Crotch. Angry Taint. Walkin' like John Wayne. Heat Rash. Cactus thighs. Don't you make my Brown Eye Red.

Any other good ones?
 
2009-11-23 08:03:37 AM
"Becky Cattani of Back Bay bought some Anti Monkey Butt last summer for her 14-year-old son, David."

Umm... that's ONE lost customer.
Thanks for using David's full name there... he's gonna have a great life in high school now... "Hey Monkey Butt!"
 
2009-11-23 08:04:35 AM
fbxrd
 
2009-11-23 08:09:22 AM
Eddie_Dean_NY: Monkey Butt. Ape Ass. Swamp Crotch. Angry Taint. Walkin' like John Wayne. Heat Rash. Cactus thighs. Don't you make my Brown Eye Red.

Any other good ones?


I just call it "stank butt," so I guess I'm not that imaginative. I'm a lady, so I should probably come up with a more polite term that reflects my dainty, delicate nature.

/yanks undies out of butt-crack
 
2009-11-23 08:10:36 AM
Eddie_Dean_NY: Monkey Butt. Ape Ass. Swamp Crotch. Angry Taint. Walkin' like John Wayne. Heat Rash. Cactus thighs. Don't you make my Brown Eye Red.

Any other good ones?


Ape Ass is a personal fav
 
2009-11-23 08:11:44 AM
Eddie_Dean_NY: Monkey Butt. Ape Ass. Swamp Crotch. Angry Taint. Walkin' like John Wayne. Heat Rash. Cactus thighs. Don't you make my Brown Eye Red.

Any other good ones?


Sandpaper Butt. Burnin' Buttocks. Antler Ass
 
2009-11-23 08:14:31 AM
Lettuce Pray: Use it on my 8 month old all the time. Best baby powder out there.

I was very disappointed to learn that "baby powder" was not, in fact, made of powdered babies...

First "baby oil", now this!
 
2009-11-23 08:16:10 AM
I'll stick with Gold Bond, thank you.
 
2009-11-23 08:20:35 AM
Nick Nostril:

Any other good ones?



Crotchrot
A condition that occurs when one spends more than a few days wearing the same nylon swimsuit on a canoe trip.
 
2009-11-23 08:25:19 AM
Hoarf: I've used this stuff before (you need something like this when you try an Iron Butt ride) but Gold Bond powder is cheaper and works just as well.

This got green lit??? I guess it's not who you know, but who you...

Getting the old 1980 Goldwing ready for an IronButt this spring, and I have my cache of the stuff. I tried Gold Bond as well, but man, don't let that gold bond get on your bag....wooooooo!!
 
2009-11-23 08:26:15 AM
snugglyhugs: Sphincter

crab66: what makes it different than Gold Bond or something similar?

The main difference is, it does not work as well as Gold Bond


I don't know...I like it better. It doesn't put that burn on your bag and taint.
 
2009-11-23 08:31:14 AM
Oh_Enough_Already: Made necessary by the fact that no mater how thoroughly you wipe your butt after pooping it's never even remotely clean.

Think about it: if you got poop on your hands would you think "well, I'll just wipe it off with this dry piece of paper, that will be sufficient."

You would not.

Why people do't regulate their bowels such that all pooping is done first thing in the morning, before your shower is beyond me.

(Never mind the fact the pooping anywhere but your own home is horribly rude to others and an embarrassing, distasteful and hygienically risky proposition for yourself.)

If you really want to "cover your ass" (no pun intended) get one of those detachable shower head doohickeys that you can unscrew the shower head from and give yourself a mini-colonic every morning. No alarms and no surprises (or embarrassing trips to poop in public bathrooms) when your insides are flushed clean each morning. You floss your teeth, don't you? This is no different and has myriad other advantages as well besides guaranteeing that you'll not need to poop anywhere but at home and have a dirty ass as a result.


You sound anal.

Although you do make one valid point - follow the proper order:

/shiat
//shower
///shave
 
2009-11-23 08:34:22 AM
Abe: Ooh! Put some Lister's Carbolic Unguent on a wad of cotton, and stick it in her ear! That'll stop them shakes.

Jackie: No, no. What she needs is a balsam specific.

Abe: Balsam specific?! Oof! While we're burning money, why don't we give her a curative galvanic belt too.

Bart: [raspy] Don't forget to give her Smeckler's Powder.

Abe+Jackie: Don't make fun!
 
2009-11-23 08:39:56 AM
shivashakti: Lettuce Pray: Use it on my 8 month old all the time. Best baby powder out there.

I was very disappointed to learn that "baby powder" was not, in fact, made of powdered babies...

First "baby oil", now this!


What shivashakti may look like.

img97.imageshack.us
 
2009-11-23 08:41:31 AM
this thread smells like monkey ass
 
2009-11-23 08:43:51 AM
Yes, I am anal too...but if you think that wiping yourself with paper and then adding some cornstarch for the e coli's to get busy on is a good idea...well that's just wrong.

I agree with the order shiat first but if you shave in the shower you can eliminate the time it takes to clean the sink. Indonesia is good where you have a muslim ass wash wand near the turlit.
 
2009-11-23 08:43:52 AM
LOTN: shivashakti: Lettuce Pray: Use it on my 8 month old all the time. Best baby powder out there.

I was very disappointed to learn that "baby powder" was not, in fact, made of powdered babies...

First "baby oil", now this!

What shivashakti may look like.



all at the same time

*skips away proud of herself*
 
2009-11-23 08:46:19 AM
Oh_Enough_Already: Made necessary by the fact that no mater how thoroughly you wipe your butt after pooping it's never even remotely clean.

Think about it: if you got poop on your hands would you think "well, I'll just wipe it off with this dry piece of paper, that will be sufficient."

You would not.

Why people do't regulate their bowels such that all pooping is done first thing in the morning, before your shower is beyond me.

(Never mind the fact the pooping anywhere but your own home is horribly rude to others and an embarrassing, distasteful and hygienically risky proposition for yourself.)

If you really want to "cover your ass" (no pun intended) get one of those detachable shower head doohickeys that you can unscrew the shower head from and give yourself a mini-colonic every morning. No alarms and no surprises (or embarrassing trips to poop in public bathrooms) when your insides are flushed clean each morning. You floss your teeth, don't you? This is no different and has myriad other advantages as well besides guaranteeing that you'll not need to poop anywhere but at home and have a dirty ass as a result.
!

Now that's one amazing post! Dude, it's just a dump, take it and get on with your life.
 
2009-11-23 08:52:20 AM
castufari
I used a mix of baby powder and cornstarch.

Cornstarch is the only ingredient listed on my baby powder.

For the motorcycle riders who get chaffed . . . get a sheepskin. Lets your butt breathe.
 
2009-11-23 09:04:19 AM
Eddie_Dean_NY: Monkey Butt. Ape Ass. Swamp Crotch. Angry Taint. Walkin' like John Wayne. Heat Rash. Cactus thighs. Don't you make my Brown Eye Red.

Any other good ones?


Up here in the NW it's known as "salmon ass"
 
2009-11-23 09:06:03 AM
im partial to scrot-rot

And yes, loves me some gold bond in the green bottle. Use it like robotussin. Coat the boys every day. I work outside and sometimes have to squat against a fence to do my business..on a day im not feeling well, this could be 5-6 times a day. Gold bond is a lifesaver.
 
2009-11-23 09:09:30 AM
Oh_Enough_Already's profile pic:

inside224a.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-11-23 09:25:50 AM
luvnuriko: It's made with anti-monkeys. If any monkeys get close to your butt they'll be instantly annihilated.

this made me laugh. way too hard for a monday.

thanks, luvnuriko.
thuvnuriko.
 
2009-11-23 09:25:57 AM
Swamp ass!!!
 
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