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(News.com.au)   New front-fastening velcro bra promises to make life easier for women with arthritis... and sexually inexperienced men   (news.com.au) divider line 163
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120 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2003 at 11:20 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



163 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2003-03-25 09:07:37 AM
Nothing new. Front-fastening bras have been around for a long time. This particular bra has velcro and a trouser style clasp. Unfortunately, you guys will have to continue to practice your unclasping skills as a velcro only clasp would wear out to quickly. And unless both sides of the velcro were lined up exactly, it would be rather itchy and uncomfortable.

Also, it is not necessary to do the reach around to clasp a bra. Adjust the straps as needed, clasp it in the front, slide it around the mid-torso, and then pull it up over your arms and boobies. Simple.

Of course, many arthritic women of a certain age could forego the bra ritual and just tuck those babies into their orthopaedic socks.
 
2003-03-25 09:37:48 AM
I think it's great that sexually inexperienced men are getting a shag from women with arthritis. Everybody wins.
 
2003-03-25 09:48:53 AM
I can't imagine they make strong enough velcro for this.
 
2003-03-25 11:23:46 AM
Jay-vee - hahaha well done!
 
2003-03-25 11:24:02 AM
why are sexually inexperienced men wearing bras now?
 
2003-03-25 11:25:14 AM
Dah fools! You have yet to master the skill of on handed on first try bra unlock?!?!? You must practice till you are ready! now begone like the wind!
 
2003-03-25 11:25:15 AM
'bout time... I kept chipping my teeth on those damn wires and fasteners... velcro should be easier for me to
chew through. Man this is just making my mouth water...
 
2003-03-25 11:26:55 AM
Velcro... is there anything it can't do?
 
2003-03-25 11:28:25 AM
Bah. I can do the one-handed bra unlock through a shirt. Fun bar tricks.
 
2003-03-25 11:29:12 AM
Speaking as a sexually inexperienced, arthritic man with two fingers...all I can say is, it's about time!
 
2003-03-25 11:30:14 AM
Server's farked.

"Apache/1.3.27 Server at news.com.au Port 8"
/Trying hard to find a way to blame Bush or Microsoft
 
2003-03-25 11:30:59 AM
Ninety-five dollars for a bra. Isn't that a little steep?
 
2003-03-25 11:31:29 AM

Feh - who needs to know how to unsnap a bra when all you have to do is cut it off after you kill her?

/inappropriate

 
2003-03-25 11:32:52 AM
sounds painful

scratchy velcro - sensitive skin
 
2003-03-25 11:33:02 AM
Bad, Triphammer...bad...
 
2003-03-25 11:34:20 AM

Everybody loves the murder jokes, Sheena - WHY CAN'T YOUUUUU??? YOU WILL DIE!!!

/bad reference

 
2003-03-25 11:36:12 AM
First off..

Lets see if this unjustified unexplained ban is off..

OK GREAT!

Second..

Hell I still struggle with bra fasteners from time to time. I don't even recall the last time I HAD to take off a bra to have sex.

Guess I am just lucky, but I don't tend to be the one doing the deed. I guess after ripping off a few, it started to get expensive for them.
 
2003-03-25 11:36:14 AM
Hah! Justice comes for myself and fellow inept men :-) Gotta get a girlfriend first though :-( And hope she wears one o'these bras when it comes down to "hit-it-time" =\
 
2003-03-25 11:36:14 AM
mmMMMMMmmmmm.....Boobies
 
2003-03-25 11:36:26 AM
Bra lifts hopes of arthritis sufferers

Never heard them called that before...
 
2003-03-25 11:38:59 AM
Great. Now I have to shave that area also?
 
2003-03-25 11:39:20 AM
Oh, and in my experience it's only difficult to take a bra off a lass (even with one hand) is if she's wearing a bra which is too small...

I'm now offering free bra sizings...
 
2003-03-25 11:40:11 AM
If this had been around 30 years ago I would have been CarpeBoobies...
 
2003-03-25 11:40:23 AM
Ok, Triphammer - you made me laugh!
 
2003-03-25 11:43:01 AM
I pity any man who can't unhook a bra one-handed. All it actually takes is two fingers. Thumb and index finger.
 
2003-03-25 11:43:01 AM
I'm waiting for them to make a bra out of Cheetos
 
2003-03-25 11:43:11 AM
If velcro becomes the standard for bra closure it only means that when I am old and gray I can tell my grandsons, "In my day you had to reach around behind your woman and fiddle with some dang clasp created by the devil himself if you wanted to play with boobies!"
 
2003-03-25 11:43:21 AM
Omnipotence - want to buy a, uh, Real Doll? I've got a few stuffed in my trun - I mean, at the house. Very lifelike!

/more murder jokes for Sheena

 
2003-03-25 11:44:09 AM
Thumb and index finger.

It's more fun to use your teeth.
 
2003-03-25 11:45:39 AM


FRANK: Definitely velcro.

Farkus gives a questioning look to Kramer.

KRAMER
: Say you're getting intimate with a woman uh, you don't want her fumbling and struggling back there.

The three of them chuckle at the thought.

KRAMER
: I think we've all experienced that.
 
2003-03-25 11:46:20 AM
I pity any man who can't unhook a bra one-handed. All it actually takes is two fingers. Thumb and index finger.

I pity no man who is in the position to take a woman's bra off.
 
pr2
2003-03-25 11:47:24 AM
i prefer a woman who lets her belly hold up her boobs.
 
pr2
2003-03-25 11:49:25 AM
I pity no man who is in the position to take a woman's bra off.

what about Stedman?
 
2003-03-25 11:49:36 AM
I pity the man who removes the bras of the elderly women at the 'home'.
 
2003-03-25 11:52:47 AM
Ha! Bump'll be the guy walking around with velcro patches ripped from his moustache.
 
2003-03-25 11:54:22 AM
It's more fun to use your teeth.

I save my teeth for what's under the bra.
 
2003-03-25 11:54:38 AM
The answer is magnets, implanted under the skin.
 
2003-03-25 11:57:37 AM
I pity the man who removes the bras of the elderly women at the 'home'.

point taken.
 
2003-03-25 12:00:42 PM
Ahhh yes...h00ge b00bs...how I miss them...but I am content with my current girlfriends. Boobs...Is their anything they cant make right?
 
2003-03-25 12:00:48 PM

Elderly women? I can get 'em at wholesale!

VISIT TRIPHAMMER'S DEAD HOOKER EMPORIUM, OPEN 24 HOURS.

 
2003-03-25 12:01:11 PM
I think big ones are more common now than when I was a youngster. At least, the D+'s seem to be drawn in my direction.

Maybe it has something to do with my giant hands.

Also, ladies, bras are like underwear: have more than one and WASH THEM OFTEN.
 
2003-03-25 12:02:22 PM
Yay... a war about if big boobies are good boobies...

Personally, I've never grabbed boobies smaller than a D cup. I've grabbed H cup boobies that were nice and firm and I've grabbed DD boobies that felt like a sports sock full of unset jelly/jello.

Think about the boobies in question, not the size in general... For gods sakes, won't SOMEBODY think of the boobies?
 
2003-03-25 12:02:30 PM
I tell you what...I have never seen so much great T & A then Australia...Brisbane to be exact...OOO bless that place a hundred fold!
 
2003-03-25 12:03:35 PM
Sheena, here's how: send one to JohnDX, who hosted my kid's photoshop pic, and one to me. Very important you not skip step two.
 
2003-03-25 12:03:58 PM
XFools - my friend, I've ALWAYS got that covered.

/suffering kittens meow from trunk

 
2003-03-25 12:04:38 PM
Sheena

I call bullshiat on that last comment! Give me handfulls of perkiness anyday to play with or look at as opposed to saggy bags of extra fat and what not.

/not that we'll ever agree....
 
2003-03-25 12:04:45 PM
Oy!

Have you noticed that women have no idea how to buy bra's? Here's a hint to the Farkettes reading here (pass this along): There shouldn't be bulges of boobie flesh overflowing where the fabric ends. If you're a woman with large breasts, then for god sakes, get a custom bra made. It's not appealing to see what appears to be four breasts on your chest (except maybe for the really hardcore Star Wars fans).

Okay, that's it. I'm done.

0ok
 
2003-03-25 12:04:58 PM
I don't think that the velcro bra is nearly as expensive or uncomfortable as this:


That's Heidi Klum modeling Victoria's Secret's $12.5 million heavenly star diamond bra. And no, the underwear aren't included -- they're another $750,000 extra.
 
2003-03-25 12:05:11 PM
I WANT B000000BIES!!!!!!! o.O
 
2003-03-25 12:06:41 PM
Additionally, 80% of the time with the bigger boobies...you get a bigger girlie...unless they are fake.

I like them fit, thin, and tight.
 
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