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(Washington Post)   Welcome to Australia, where the men are men and the koalas are all dying from stress-induced chlamydia   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 64
    More: Sad, Science News, Australia, habitats, rolling hills, state governments, University of Queensland, car accidents  
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5975 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2009 at 2:40 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-19 12:58:52 PM
Koalas can catch chlamydia? What have I done?!
 
2009-11-19 01:54:34 PM
I told my wife that I have stress induced crabs.
 
2009-11-19 02:17:07 PM
The chlamydia is probably coming from the stressed out, single, lonely and horny Australian men.
 
2009-11-19 02:43:00 PM
I can haz penicillin?

www.imagesaustralia.com
 
2009-11-19 02:43:24 PM
...where beer does flow and men chunder!
 
2009-11-19 02:43:57 PM
Probably from being locked in the basement
 
2009-11-19 02:45:13 PM
I'm sorry, tell me if I'm wrong here: the Koala bear is vulnerable to a disease whose least worrying symptom is blindness and is triggered only by stress?

...Darwin in action, I guess? what the hell?
 
2009-11-19 02:46:03 PM
Stress-induced? So, if, for example, someone were to cheat on their wife and catch the clap, they could deny cheating and blame it on the stress of a high pressure work environment?

/geez honey, I don't know why I have a burning sensation when I pee, but I bet it's because I'm so stressed out at work...
//and not the cheap slut I've been banging everytime I go out of town for work...
 
2009-11-19 02:47:53 PM
I thought chlamydia was usually penis-induced.
 
2009-11-19 02:48:55 PM
I thought Koalas just caught on fire.
 
2009-11-19 02:48:56 PM
"My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head."

Mitch Hedberg

/obvious
 
2009-11-19 02:52:04 PM
Stress induced? Yeah, that's the ticket. That's how it happened honey. Too much stress at the office.
 
2009-11-19 02:54:04 PM
ahchoo: /obvious

coke in a glass harmonica?
individually wrapped cashews?
 
2009-11-19 02:54:31 PM
They are losing their territory to drop bears
 
2009-11-19 02:56:24 PM
Knew I should have worn a condom...
 
2009-11-19 02:57:01 PM
You can get chlamydia in your eyes. That is prob how they get it. Like the page says they get it and it just sits around till their fuzzy little selfs get stressed.
 
2009-11-19 02:58:17 PM
Welcome to Australia, where the men are men and the koalas are all dying from stress-induced chlamydia if the great white sharks or crocodiles don't kill you, the snakes and spiders will.
 
2009-11-19 02:59:30 PM
Damn. That guy just has to be stopped.
www.topnews.in
 
2009-11-19 03:00:37 PM
Hopefully they can improve their koalaity of life.
 
2009-11-19 03:01:21 PM
They didn't get it from me, not that I haven't tried.
 
2009-11-19 03:03:04 PM
gorgor: I thought Koalas just caught on fire.

Somewhere in Australia some Sheila is angry with you over her missing lighter and hairspray.
 
2009-11-19 03:05:59 PM
I blame the Gay Koala Agenda...
 
2009-11-19 03:06:24 PM
But the koalas are 8s!
 
2009-11-19 03:07:47 PM
I'd be stressed out too if I had to sleep 22 hours a day, and munch eucalyptus for the remainder.

Oh GAWD LIFE IS SO HARRRDDDD
 
2009-11-19 03:12:43 PM
Dear Australians,

1) Stop encroaching on Koala habitats. Set some area of land aside, (We know you have it, all those square km's and a comparatively tiny population size) cultivate it for them, and start transplanting a diverse genetic pool of koalas there.

2) While transporting them, don't fark them. In fact, please just stop farking them now.


Thanks

----The rest of the world that likes cute fuzzy things (aka every body but the Chinese who would fry them then eat them while still alive and Radical-Muslims & Radical-Christians whom would stuff backpack bombs or fertilizer bombs in their gestation pouches and send them into gay bars and financial districts ).
 
2009-11-19 03:13:36 PM
I think we can use this information. We just need to give all the people in the US with an IQ lower than 100 a stress-induced disease. Then we cancel NASCAR. Instantly, the average IQ of the US population will skyrocket!

/that's Darwin in action
 
2009-11-19 03:27:21 PM
Except that it is not a virus....way to go Washington Post.
 
2009-11-19 03:27:36 PM
I live in a koala corridor. As little as a few years ago I could hear them and their enchanting (not) mating calls all night long. I would go for a walk in the nature reserve across the street from me and see one at least once a week.

Then the new local council came in. The area I live in was reclassified from rural, and the apartments rolled in while the trees were cut down. The council isn't served by koalas, they don't generate revenue, so they pretend to care by putting limits on tree cutting on large blocks of land, then allow those blocks to be subdivided so the restrictions no longer apply.

Even though the park behind my house is still filled with trees, I don't really hear the koalas anymore, and I haven't seen one there for a year. They need more than just a few acres of land next to a stream =(. The answer is clear, we need to tax the koalas so the council will stop releasing land =P
 
2009-11-19 03:38:08 PM
img163.imageshack.us

"Whores don't get a second chance."
 
2009-11-19 03:42:34 PM
Someone call Saxton Hale!
 
2009-11-19 03:43:51 PM
www.spiderzrule.com


Australia.
 
2009-11-19 03:45:22 PM
Koalas seem second only to Pandas as the animal least suited for continued survival on this planet.
 
2009-11-19 04:01:00 PM
DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Koalas seem second only to Pandas as the animal least suited for continued survival on this planet.

what's sad is that it's because humans are inconsiderate assholes that this is happening. they'd be doing fine if we weren't building houses everywhere.

i don't want to see the koalas die. their so cute
 
2009-11-19 04:03:51 PM
DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Koalas seem second only to Pandas as the animal least suited for continued survival on this planet.

Nah, CHIMPS beong close to the top of the list.
 
2009-11-19 04:05:43 PM
supercooldragn: DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Koalas seem second only to Pandas as the animal least suited for continued survival on this planet.

what's sad is that it's because humans are inconsiderate assholes that this is happening. they'd be doing fine if we weren't building houses everywhere.

i don't want to see the koalas die. their so cute


I'm rather glad that I will be able to see them before they are gone.
 
2009-11-19 04:06:22 PM
 
2009-11-19 04:12:16 PM
i174.photobucket.com

I have no idea...
 
2009-11-19 04:17:23 PM
 
2009-11-19 04:19:47 PM
DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Koalas seem second only to Pandas as the animal least suited for continued survival on this planet.

Pandas have so much against them. First they are omnivores that live off a poorly digestible food product and only that product. Secondly because of that diet their cubs are tiny and develop slowly due to amount of lactation.

/I've also heard something about penis size (or lack there of)
//not searching at work for articles
 
2009-11-19 04:30:20 PM
I had a hard time getting past the article calling chlamydiosis a virus.

Journalists - college graduates who know fark-all about science.
 
2009-11-19 04:32:37 PM
Am I the only one who no longer sees koalas as cute? Ever since I heard that they were basically fuzzy bags of VD, I've been unable to think of them as anything but disgusting.
 
2009-11-19 04:38:56 PM
I didn't even know Bret Michaels had BEEN to Australia.
 
2009-11-19 04:49:29 PM
Welcome to Australia, where the men are men the land down under, where women glow and the koalas are all dying from stress-induced chlamydia

Fixed that for ya.

/sorry, pet peeve
 
2009-11-19 05:19:31 PM
jessicat: Am I the only one who no longer sees koalas as cute? Ever since I heard that they were basically fuzzy bags of VD, I've been unable to think of them as anything but disgusting.

Well then this video of the lovely sounds they make isn't going to endear you to them much either.
 
2009-11-19 05:26:38 PM
Well, at least it's not Lupus....
 
2009-11-19 05:43:11 PM
"stress-induced" .............uh, sure, right, whatever
 
2009-11-19 06:08:59 PM
It's too bad Chlamydia has to be a venereal disease.
It's such a pleasant-sounding word.

I think I might name my daughter Chlamydia.

/not obscure
 
2009-11-19 06:26:45 PM
politech: It's too bad Chlamydia has to be a venereal disease.
It's such a pleasant-sounding word.

I think I might name my daughter Chlamydia.

/not obscure



I would call her Chazzwazza.

/ditto
 
2009-11-19 06:35:27 PM
I think another Austrian had stress induced VD. I think I do too.
 
2009-11-19 06:45:48 PM
i2.photobucket.com

I wanna sex you up and down
Freakin' to the sound let's toss it around
Come on now, I feel the rhythm as I hit 'em
You boost that is as I slide up in there
Well let's flip it side to side
We'll take it slow then fast for a funky ride
We gonna make it last the whole night long
Cause I wanna sex you up and get it on.
 
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