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(BBC)   Ingredients needed for "this should end well" headline: Tanker ship full of chemicals? Check. 28 North Koreans on board? Check. Somali pirates? Check   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 133
    More: Interesting, North Koreans, Gulf of Aden, Horn of Africa, tankers, Somali, Indonesian, hijackings, international developments  
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13121 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Nov 2009 at 9:49 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-17 08:47:07 AM
NorKs v. Pirates?shiat. I don't know who to root for.
 
2009-11-17 09:28:39 AM
I'm actually kinda rooting for the NorK's on this one. Would love to see their method of "diplomacy".
 
2009-11-17 09:52:00 AM
A spare key for a Volkswagen Scirocco?
 
2009-11-17 09:52:29 AM
I'm hoping the Borks get involved. A man can hope right? MMmmmm Swed wimmins.

Sorry, didn't mean to drool.
 
2009-11-17 09:52:30 AM
I think we can all agree that whatever happens will have been inevitable
 
2009-11-17 09:53:39 AM
What's North Korea doing over there anyway? I thought they were all like, holed up in their little corner of the world...
 
2009-11-17 09:54:26 AM
I would love to see NK go to war with somali, who can starve first?
 
2009-11-17 09:55:05 AM
Sounds like the beginning of a Tom Clancy novel.
 
2009-11-17 09:55:21 AM
It's all part of their cunning plan to get the Somali pirates hooked on crystal meth. A tanker full of chemicals captured, a guy on board who just "happens" to know the formula to make the stuff...

A month from now you'll have toothless, shaking, itchy Somali pirates who can't even hold a gun steady.
 
2009-11-17 09:55:46 AM
Well, at least the NK crew will finally be getting a decent meal or two.
 
2009-11-17 09:55:53 AM
dittybopper: NorKs v. Pirates?shiat. I don't know who to root for.
img682.imageshack.us

Root for Cthulhu to swallow the ship whole and everybody wins.
 
2009-11-17 09:56:01 AM
Farkwaddle: I'm hoping the Borks get involved. A man can hope right? MMmmmm Swed wimmins.

Sorry, didn't mean to drool.


I'm hoping the Bjorks get involved, myself.

img696.imageshack.us
 
2009-11-17 09:56:39 AM
I hope NK unleashes the crazy on the damn pirates. You won't have those nukes for much longer NK you might as well use one or two.

When I was a kid I got a pack of firecrackers confiscated before I could light one off. Don't make the same mistake I made North Korea.
 
2009-11-17 09:57:10 AM
It was clearly a U.S. plot and they are trying to pin it on pirates.
 
2009-11-17 09:58:00 AM
Thisbymaster: I would love to see NK go to war with somali, who can starve first?

Somali's have been doing it longer. They know how to survive for 5 months on 4 grains of rice, a rusted AK, 2 matches, and a gasoline soaked rag. My money's on the skinnies.
 
2009-11-17 10:00:15 AM
Beatle_Matt: I'm actually kinda rooting for the NorK's on this one. Would love to see their method of "diplomacy".

Agreed.

Also, anyone else think it's kind of funny that the Somali pirates/terrorists hijacked a boat (the trawler, The Alakrana) from a region known for terrorists?

I'm pretty certain there's a solid plot for a Steven Segal movie in that article somewhere.
 
2009-11-17 10:00:17 AM
GypsyJoker: Farkwaddle: I'm hoping the Borks get involved. A man can hope right? MMmmmm Swed wimmins.

Sorry, didn't mean to drool.

I'm hoping the Bjorks get involved, myself.


Much winnage. I watched the whole thing.
 
2009-11-17 10:00:19 AM
Farkwaddle: Thisbymaster: I would love to see NK go to war with somali, who can starve first?

Somali's have been doing it longer. They know how to survive for 5 months on 4 grains of rice, a rusted AK, 2 matches, and a gasoline soaked rag. My money's on the skinnies.


You seem to be confusing Somalis with MacGyver. Except for the AK... Mac hated guns.
 
2009-11-17 10:00:35 AM
Either way, it's bound to be great! I'm rooting for (a fairly contained) mutually assured destruction on both sides.

/Gotta check my popcorn stash...
 
2009-11-17 10:00:38 AM
GypsyJoker: Farkwaddle: I'm hoping the Borks get involved. A man can hope right? MMmmmm Swed wimmins.

Sorry, didn't mean to drool.

I'm hoping the Bjorks get involved, myself.


She's Icelandic and tanked up on Brannivin. I'd hit it 15yrs ago. Definitely not a Bork.
 
2009-11-17 10:01:14 AM
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been reported asking if they haven't done this already somehow
 
2009-11-17 10:02:17 AM
It's Somali people! Why are we so afraid to just shoot these people? i mean I'm not one to say just blow every one up, but damn this is getting silly. The world is being held hostage by one of the poorest countries. Just bomb them and move on already.

At this point I'd even be ok with N. Korea just nuking the crap out of them.
 
2009-11-17 10:03:55 AM
Ponzholio: Farkwaddle: Thisbymaster: I would love to see NK go to war with somali, who can starve first?

Somali's have been doing it longer. They know how to survive for 5 months on 4 grains of rice, a rusted AK, 2 matches, and a gasoline soaked rag. My money's on the skinnies.

You seem to be confusing Somalis with MacGyver. Except for the AK... Mac hated guns.


Mac was never motivated by hunger.
 
2009-11-17 10:04:19 AM
Farkwaddle: "Somali's have been doing it longer. They know how to survive for 5 months on 4 grains of rice, a rusted AK, 2 matches, and a gasoline soaked rag. My money's on the skinnies."

web.mit.edu

Oh bravo... Bravo.
 
2009-11-17 10:05:09 AM
MDGeist: It's Somali people! Why are we so afraid to just shoot these people? i mean I'm not one to say just blow every one up, but damn this is getting silly. The world is being held hostage by one of the poorest countries. Just bomb them and move on already.

At this point I'd even be ok with N. Korea just nuking the crap out of them.


I just don't understand why these tankers/boats that are going to pass Somalia aren't heavily armed. And just blow the shiat out of the tiny boats that come up to board them.
 
2009-11-17 10:05:30 AM
I think the Somalians missed the part of Pirating for Dummies were they say "only take ships from countries better off than your own".

i567.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-17 10:08:40 AM
Magorn: I think we can all agree that whatever happens will have been inevitabre

I think we can all agree that whatever happens will have been inevitabre!
I'm sorry, it's what?
Inevit, inevitabre.
One more time.
Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to happen! Goddamnit, open your farking ears!

/ftfy
 
2009-11-17 10:09:45 AM
MDGeist: It's Somali people! Why are we so afraid to just shoot these people? i mean I'm not one to say just blow every one up, but damn this is getting silly. The world is being held hostage by one of the poorest countries. Just bomb them and move on already.

At this point I'd even be ok with N. Korea just nuking the crap out of them.


Why do you hate Muslims?
 
2009-11-17 10:10:47 AM
portscanner: Magorn: I think we can all agree that whatever happens will have been inevitabre

I think we can all agree that whatever happens will have been inevitabre!
I'm sorry, it's what?
Inevit, inevitabre.
One more time.
Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to happen! Goddamnit, open your farking ears!

/ftfy


Matt Damon
 
2009-11-17 10:12:59 AM
Didn't anyone read TFA?

It isn't a NK ship, it just happens to be NK's who are crewing the ship.

"The MV Theresa VIII, a Singaporean-operated tanker" and "The MV Theresa VIII, the owner of which is based in the Virgin Islands"

Please explain why NK would give a shiat about 28 poor crew members? They sure as hell don't care about the starving millions within their own border who survive eating grass while they pour billions of hard currency into missle and nuke programs.
 
2009-11-17 10:12:59 AM
sboyle1020: MDGeist: It's Somali people! Why are we so afraid to just shoot these people? i mean I'm not one to say just blow every one up, but damn this is getting silly. The world is being held hostage by one of the poorest countries. Just bomb them and move on already.

At this point I'd even be ok with N. Korea just nuking the crap out of them.

I just don't understand why these tankers/boats that are going to pass Somalia aren't heavily armed. And just blow the shiat out of the tiny boats that come up to board them.


It's against maritime law for a civilian vessel to hold firearms and enter port. They could have them but they'd have to work out the logistics to off and on-load the weapons from one boat to another as the leave or enter port. Meanwhile, the weapons boat gets hijacked and the pirates have more weapons to further their lucrative business ventures.
 
2009-11-17 10:13:53 AM
What the hell is going on with the BBC? That was the most incomprehensible article I've seen in a long time. It blended together bits and pieces of stories about 3-4 different incidents into one confusing mashup of nonsense.
 
2009-11-17 10:14:55 AM
Clearly this is going to be an epic battle. However the North Koreans have long been praised for there high seas antics. As an island nation they have more experience than Somali. Plus I hear they have rope.
 
2009-11-17 10:16:41 AM
Go Pirates!

YARRRRRRR!
 
2009-11-17 10:17:01 AM
DFWPhotoGuy: Clearly this is going to be an epic battle. However the North Koreans have long been praised for there high seas antics. As an island nation they have more experience than Somali. Plus I hear they have rope.

WTF??? Island nation?
 
2009-11-17 10:18:01 AM
cefm: What the hell is going on with the BBC? That was the most incomprehensible article I've seen in a long time. It blended together bits and pieces of stories about 3-4 different incidents into one confusing mashup of nonsense.

i79.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-17 10:20:24 AM
DFWPhotoGuy: Clearly this is going to be an epic battle. However the North Koreans have long been praised for there high seas antics. As an island nation they have more experience than Somali. Plus I hear they have rope.

It took me a moment, and then I got it. Nicely done sir.
 
2009-11-17 10:22:01 AM
Farkwaddle: Meanwhile, the weapons boat gets hijacked and the pirates have more weapons to further their lucrative business ventures.

Hijack a weapons boat. Aaaaallllrighty then.
 
2009-11-17 10:24:28 AM
INeedAName: DFWPhotoGuy: Clearly this is going to be an epic battle. However the North Koreans have long been praised for there high seas antics. As an island nation they have more experience than Somali. Plus I hear they have rope.

It took me a moment, and then I got it. Nicely done sir.


If there's a refrence there it went over my head, but this is the first thing I thought of:

i567.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-17 10:25:17 AM
Man On Pink Corner: Farkwaddle: Meanwhile, the weapons boat gets hijacked and the pirates have more weapons to further their lucrative business ventures.

Hijack a weapons boat. Aaaaallllrighty then.


Well it all depends on the size and personnel aboard. I just assume a civilian cargo company would try to be inconspicous about it and have a small vessel with a minimal crew. Probably to look something like a common fishing vessel. Only so many men can fire so many weapons.
 
2009-11-17 10:25:31 AM
DFWPhotoGuy: Clearly this is going to be an epic battle. However the North Koreans have long been praised for there high seas antics. As an island nation they have more experience than Somali. Plus I hear they have rope.

When did North Korea become an island?
 
2009-11-17 10:25:40 AM
sboyle1020: MDGeist: It's Somali people! Why are we so afraid to just shoot these people? i mean I'm not one to say just blow every one up, but damn this is getting silly. The world is being held hostage by one of the poorest countries. Just bomb them and move on already.

At this point I'd even be ok with N. Korea just nuking the crap out of them.

I just don't understand why these tankers/boats that are going to pass Somalia aren't heavily armed. And just blow the shiat out of the tiny boats that come up to board them.


I think all boats going through those waters need to keep 2 snipers on board at all times. their only job is to kill Pirates.

The spotter can video the entire thing for youtube
 
2009-11-17 10:26:41 AM
Farkwaddle: sboyle1020: MDGeist: It's Somali people! Why are we so afraid to just shoot these people? i mean I'm not one to say just blow every one up, but damn this is getting silly. The world is being held hostage by one of the poorest countries. Just bomb them and move on already.

At this point I'd even be ok with N. Korea just nuking the crap out of them.

I just don't understand why these tankers/boats that are going to pass Somalia aren't heavily armed. And just blow the shiat out of the tiny boats that come up to board them.

It's against maritime law for a civilian vessel to hold firearms and enter port. They could have them but they'd have to work out the logistics to off and on-load the weapons from one boat to another as the leave or enter port. Meanwhile, the weapons boat gets hijacked and the pirates have more weapons to further their lucrative business ventures.


Is it against Maritime law to hijack ships?
If it is then they would get what they deserve if they were blown out of the water.
It's kind of dumb to expect 1 group to follow Maritime law and then continue to allow the other group to do what they want.
Shoot them as soon as they are in range.
 
2009-11-17 10:26:42 AM
INeedAName: DFWPhotoGuy: Clearly this is going to be an epic battle. However the North Koreans have long been praised for there high seas antics. As an island nation they have more experience than Somali. Plus I hear they have rope.

It took me a moment, and then I got it. Nicely done sir.


Rope?

iconsoffright.com
 
2009-11-17 10:26:49 AM
Usually the whole point of these pirate attacks is to get a ransom to release the crew and ship. All they are going to get as ransom for the crew from the North Koreans is a handfull of pocket lint and a larger than life sized poster of Kim Jong Il. This is as stupid as taking a Somali crew hostage for ransom.
 
2009-11-17 10:27:01 AM
flyingmonkeysreign: INeedAName: DFWPhotoGuy: Clearly this is going to be an epic battle. However the North Koreans have long been praised for there high seas antics. As an island nation they have more experience than Somali. Plus I hear they have rope.

It took me a moment, and then I got it. Nicely done sir.

If there's a refrence there it went over my head, but this is the first thing I thought of:


i79.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-17 10:27:18 AM
Balder333: Didn't anyone read TFA?

It isn't a NK ship, it just happens to be NK's who are crewing the ship.

"The MV Theresa VIII, a Singaporean-operated tanker" and "The MV Theresa VIII, the owner of which is based in the Virgin Islands"

Please explain why NK would give a shiat about 28 poor crew members? They sure as hell don't care about the starving millions within their own border who survive eating grass while they pour billions of hard currency into missle and nuke programs.


Chance to get notice on the world stage which is something kim jong il would love
 
2009-11-17 10:27:37 AM
AgentKGB: It's all part of their cunning plan to get the Somali pirates hooked on crystal meth. A tanker full of chemicals captured, a guy on board who just "happens" to know the formula to make the stuff...

Can you imagine the fireball from a tanker size meth lab blowing up?

www.freeclipartnow.com
 
2009-11-17 10:28:15 AM
I guess I'm missing something witty or inside-jokey... nothing new though this is Fark... years of inside joke wit interbreeding to the point that the only remanent is a giant pool of sarcastic mutated clichebabies.
 
2009-11-17 10:28:28 AM
Headline was refreshingly crisp, clean and, while admittedly simple, still very well executed.

Nice job.
 
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