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(Some Guy)   Sarah Palin to vegetarians: "If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?" In other news, Sarah Palin endorses cannibalism   (lefarkins.blogspot.com) divider line 258
    More: Fail, Sarah Palin, vegetarians, salads, hypocrites  
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5129 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Nov 2009 at 11:35 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



258 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-11-16 07:24:27 PM
I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.
 
2009-11-16 07:27:50 PM
If God didn't intend for me to stand outside Reese Witherspoon's bedroom windows and masturbate, why did he make her so pretty and talented?
 
2009-11-16 07:28:35 PM
If God had not intended you to swallow me whole, why did he make your mouth so big?
 
2009-11-16 07:29:38 PM
If God had wanted Sarah Palin to be taken seriously, why did he make her a retarded nutball?
 
2009-11-16 07:30:07 PM
Sarah, if God had not intended for you to get your biatch ass back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, why did he give me such a strong pimp hand?
 
2009-11-16 07:30:32 PM
If God did not intend for humans to have buttsecks, why is the anal aperture perfectly shaped for penile penetration?
 
2009-11-16 07:32:01 PM
If God intended me to eat bacon, bats, ospreys, shellfish, mancock, why did he tell me not to?
 
2009-11-16 07:34:07 PM
It says vegans.
 
2009-11-16 07:35:10 PM
sunbird: If God intended me to eat bacon, bats, ospreys, shellfish, mancock, why did he tell me not to?

Wait, you can't eat bats? What a terrible religion.
 
2009-11-16 07:35:50 PM
sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

I heard she also came out in favor of reading this if the b*tch fell off.
 
BOZ
2009-11-16 07:39:05 PM
Subby is dain bramaged.

FTA - "according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: 'If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.'"

In other words, SHE didn't necessarily say it. Huffington Post SAID she said it. We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything. Funny how no one else has come up with this "excerpt".
 
2009-11-16 07:39:33 PM
This is a parody, right? That's something Colbert would say.
 
2009-11-16 07:42:40 PM
cameroncrazy1984: sunbird: If God intended me to eat bacon, bats, ospreys, shellfish, mancock, why did he tell me not to?

Wait, you can't eat bats? What a terrible religion.


I know! I mean, banning teh ghey, making women second class citizens and all is understandable. But don't stand between me and a open pipistrelle on rye sandwich!
 
2009-11-16 07:43:37 PM
True or not, I'd like to gather a group of all my friends to plug all the holes in her to stop the stupid from falling out.

/ok, that might have been excessive. I'd still do her.
 
2009-11-16 07:44:47 PM
exick: Sarah, if God had not intended for you to get your biatch ass back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, why did he give me such a strong pimp hand?

If voting were enabled I would create an alt to vote for this twice.
 
2009-11-16 07:45:15 PM
Quick, someone find me a picture of Alan Davies looking annoyed.
 
2009-11-16 07:46:38 PM
BOZ: We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything.

HuffPo has a pretty unbalanced editorial board, but I highly doubt they would deliberately lie. Put spin on something, yes, but fabricating a quote altogether would cross a line they couldn't uncross.
 
2009-11-16 07:46:40 PM
DamnYankees: This is a parody, right? That's something Colbert would say.

This.
 
2009-11-16 07:47:31 PM
BOZ: Subby is dain bramaged.

FTA - "according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: 'If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.'"

In other words, SHE didn't necessarily say it. Huffington Post SAID she said it. We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything. Funny how no one else has come up with this "excerpt".


The article is linked to the NRO which is claiming this as a excerpt from her book. There isn't a link to Huffington there.
 
2009-11-16 07:48:43 PM
BOZ: Subby is dain bramaged.

FTA - "according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: 'If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.'"

In other words, SHE didn't necessarily say it. Huffington Post SAID she said it. We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything. Funny how no one else has come up with this "excerpt".


Are you aware what an excerpt is? You sir, are a farking idiot.

By the way, try Googling "Palin excerpt vegans" and see just how many other people HAVE come up with this excerpt, moran.

It's even on Free Republic, so maybe you'll believe it to be true.
 
2009-11-16 07:50:03 PM
Barbigazi: The article is linked to the NRO which is claiming this as a excerpt from her book. There isn't a link to Huffington there.

This. The link is to that well known satire site, NRO. If God had meant morons to use Huffington Post as a scapegoat for Sarah Palin's vapid statements, God would have invented the Huffington Post. And, it exists, because God wanted it to. Or, something.
 
2009-11-16 07:53:41 PM
sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

bp1.blogger.com

You were close.
 
2009-11-16 07:57:09 PM
All poor little BOZ had to do was play it off as a joke, but he got greedy and decided he could deny it ever happened instead.

Poor little trooper.
 
2009-11-16 08:00:26 PM
I'm left wondering what God would have made the animals out of if he hasn't intended us to eat them. Tofu perhaps?
 
2009-11-16 08:06:23 PM
While Palin is clearly an idiot, the writer of that article makes her seem gifted in comparison.
 
2009-11-16 08:09:22 PM
Con_Authority: While Palin is clearly an idiot, the writer of that article makes her seem gifted in comparison.

Nuh uh! You are!
 
2009-11-16 08:09:24 PM
Sgt Otter: sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

You were close.


PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals

I'd be willing to bet she has this T-shirt.
 
2009-11-16 08:28:39 PM
God made dirt so dirt won't hurt.
Can we bury her now?
 
2009-11-16 08:38:27 PM
What does God think about the bacon double cheeseburger, I wonder?
 
2009-11-16 09:31:15 PM
Old cliche + Sarah Palin saying it = news
 
2009-11-16 09:37:21 PM
I've got your meat animal Sarah.
 
2009-11-16 09:39:09 PM
Thanks for greenlighting this Palin thread. We hardly ever hear about her anymore, and she's practically forgotten on Fark.

Being very concerned about the minutiae of her life and wanting to read all the brilliant and prophetic things she has to say, this really makes my day.

Thanks Fark!
 
2009-11-16 09:41:19 PM
she dispenses folksy colloquialisms like a Will Rogers Pez toy
 
2009-11-16 09:45:50 PM
Unixfreak: Thanks for greenlighting this Palin thread. We hardly ever hear about her anymore, and she's practically forgotten on Fark.

Being very concerned about the minutiae of her life and wanting to read all the brilliant and prophetic things she has to say, this really makes my day.

Thanks Fark!


And yet you felt the need to write 49 words about it. Strange.
 
2009-11-16 09:49:05 PM
Hobodeluxe: she dispenses folksy colloquialisms like a Will Rogers Pez toy

You take that back. Her colloqualisms are stupid shiat, and Rogers ruled.

My favorite quotes:

-A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

- Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

- I have Indian blood in me. I also have just enough white blood for you to question my honesty.
 
2009-11-16 09:49:35 PM
i201.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-16 09:58:09 PM
img269.imageshack.us
 
2009-11-16 09:58:29 PM
"That day in sunny Texas when the divorce rumors were rampant in the tabloids, I watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, take the baby from my arms and walk him back to the ranch house so Trig could nap while I made calls. Seeing Todd's blue eyes smiling, I chuckled. Dang, I thought. Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?"

Sarah thinks physical attraction is the basis of marriage!! OMG!!

/Todd has eyes that smile? Gross.
 
2009-11-16 10:01:53 PM
Lionel Mandrake: "That day in sunny Texas when the divorce rumors were rampant in the tabloids, I watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, take the baby from my arms and walk him back to the ranch house so Trig could nap while I made calls. Seeing Todd's blue eyes smiling, I chuckled. Dang, I thought. Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?"

*shudder*
 
2009-11-16 10:05:34 PM
sarah palin is hot. that is all.
 
2009-11-16 10:10:19 PM
Barakku:

Old cliche + Sarah Palin saying it = news

A Palin hater managed to stretch the cliche past the breaking point. 'This calls for a celebration -- We have found a new expression of our hatred for Sarah Palin.'
 
2009-11-16 10:13:09 PM
try fect taa daa: sarah palin is hot. that is all.

Excuse me, but I believe you're mistaken. THIS is hot:

www.herospy.com

THIS is not:

farm3.static.flickr.com

You're welcome.
 
2009-11-16 10:21:03 PM
FTFA: The Weeners:

The "made of meat" is a Simpsons quote.
 
2009-11-16 10:24:18 PM
Your Faith is Creepy: try fect taa daa: sarah palin is hot. that is all.

Excuse me, but I believe you're mistaken. THIS is hot:



THIS is not:



You're welcome.


Are you familiar with the arguments decribing profound psychological trauma caused by the rapid succession of violent images and oversexualized imagery?
This is much worse.
 
2009-11-16 10:30:45 PM
Just think, this brainless bim could have been one VERY old heartbeat away from the presidency.
 
2009-11-16 10:34:10 PM
baka-san: Lionel Mandrake: "That day in sunny Texas when the divorce rumors were rampant in the tabloids, I watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, take the baby from my arms and walk him back to the ranch house so Trig could nap while I made calls. Seeing Todd's blue eyes smiling, I chuckled. Dang, I thought. Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?"

*shudder*


I can top that.
 
2009-11-16 10:36:46 PM
Mentat: *shudder*

I can top that.


*stares slackjawed*
 
2009-11-16 10:37:34 PM
Lionel Mandrake: /Todd has eyes that smile? Gross.

eye's that smile?
That sounds familiar... where have I heard... oh yes.

pics.livejournal.com
 
2009-11-16 11:14:24 PM
AdolfOliverPanties: If God did not intend for humans to have buttsecks, why is the anal aperture perfectly shaped for penile penetration?

And why's the prostate (a major male pleasure center) accessible only through anal stimulation??
 
2009-11-16 11:25:26 PM
Sarah Palin vs vegetarians...I don't know who I want to win this one honestly...
 
2009-11-16 11:30:57 PM
www.templeofthedemon.com

Nods knowingly, "Do go on, Sarah"
 
2009-11-16 11:38:28 PM
BOZ: Subby is dain bramaged.

FTA - "according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: 'If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.'"

In other words, SHE didn't necessarily say it. Huffington Post SAID she said it. We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything. Funny how no one else has come up with this "excerpt".


So your position is that a major media organization is claiming that this is a verbatim excerpt from a soon to be released book, when in fact they invented it out of nothing? Good luck with that.

/subby
 
2009-11-16 11:38:58 PM
Seriously, the Palin obsession is getting a little old.
 
2009-11-16 11:39:51 PM
Bevets: 'This calls for a celebration -- We have found a new even more idiotic expression than she has ever uttered of our hatred for Sarah Palin.'

FTFY
 
2009-11-16 11:41:00 PM
Bevets:

Wow, what I wrote came out so mangled, I don't even know what I was attempting to say.

FAIL pile on!
 
2009-11-16 11:41:36 PM
3_Butt_Cheeks: Seriously, the Palin obsession is getting a little old.

Maybe republicans shouldn't worship her as much.
 
2009-11-16 11:45:49 PM
Well Jesus was a zombie.
 
2009-11-16 11:46:52 PM
Cake Hunter: I heard she also came out in favor of reading this if the b*tch fell off.

Well done.
 
2009-11-16 11:47:45 PM
If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore.

Fail. The word is "omnivore," you idiot.
 
2009-11-16 11:48:12 PM
I feel a bit stupider for having taken the time to read that article. Excuse me while I try to forget the garbage that I have read.
 
2009-11-16 11:48:41 PM
hey I agree with Sarah (for once). I mean, the only reason we don't eat people is because it tastes lousy.
slurmed.com
 
2009-11-16 11:50:27 PM
Well, BOW WOW WOW.
 
2009-11-16 11:51:00 PM
Abstruse: Sarah Palin vs vegetarians...I don't know who I want to win this one honestly...

whoever wins....we lose....
 
2009-11-16 11:51:44 PM
Jeez you guys must be scared shiatless that anyone will focus on Obama right now.
 
2009-11-16 11:52:00 PM
If God had intended liberals to take a joke, why did He make them so humorless?
 
2009-11-16 11:53:13 PM
Mentat: baka-san: Lionel Mandrake: "That day in sunny Texas when the divorce rumors were rampant in the tabloids, I watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, take the baby from my arms and walk him back to the ranch house so Trig could nap while I made calls. Seeing Todd's blue eyes smiling, I chuckled. Dang, I thought. Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?"

*shudder*

I can top that.


My brain can't comprehend that paragraph. I can't believe that actually happened, or that someone would think it's a good story to tell.
 
2009-11-16 11:54:18 PM
sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

Bumper stickers? With a comment like that I think she's been reading FARK's PETA threads.
 
2009-11-16 11:54:31 PM
the excerpt cut out before Sarah wrote the line "You don't win friends with salad" a dozen times.
 
2009-11-16 11:54:52 PM
If He didn't intend for men to commit sodomy why did he make the bung so darned tight?
 
2009-11-16 11:55:02 PM
rlv.zcache.com

/hot from zazzle.com
 
2009-11-16 11:55:23 PM
I don't like Palin at all, but I have to admit that I say that exact line to people from time to time.
 
2009-11-16 11:55:30 PM
jjorsett: If God had intended liberals to take a joke, why did He make them so humorless?

The joke was submitting her as a serious candidate. You guys are still the punchline on that one.
 
2009-11-16 11:55:59 PM
AdolfOliverPanties: If God did not intend for humans to have buttsecks, why is the anal aperture perfectly shaped for penile penetration?

Hmph, that was too close to my joke. I should RTFT first.
 
2009-11-16 11:56:38 PM
www.cyberpunkreview.com

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
 
2009-11-16 11:57:36 PM
jjorsett: If God had intended liberals to take a joke, why did He make them so humorless?

Yeah, liberals could never come up with hilarious comedy like the conservative 1/2 Hour News Hour.

img.slate.com
 
2009-11-16 11:57:49 PM
BOZ: Subby is dain bramaged.

FTA - "according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: 'If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.'"

In other words, SHE didn't necessarily say it. Huffington Post SAID she said it. We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything. Funny how no one else has come up with this "excerpt".


www.hollow-hill.com

jjorsett: If God had intended liberals to take a joke, why did He make them so humorless?

That must be why Dennis Miller and The 1/2 Hour News Hour did so well.
 
2009-11-16 11:59:03 PM
I'm not sure how I feel about this thread. On the one hand, we have a good old fashioned Palin-bash, which is always a great way to wind down the night. On the other hand, it's fodder for the "I'm going to make douchebag comments about vegetarians because all vegetarians are douchebags!" contingent, who rival only the Fark IndependentTM crowd for the amount of idiocy per post.

I guess I'll have to see how this all plays out.
 
2009-11-16 11:59:33 PM
Barakku: Old cliche + Sarah Palin saying believing it = news
 
2009-11-17 12:00:21 AM
FTFA: Fortunately for semi-professional mockers such as myself, Palin set the standard demonstrably lower by claiming that God intended humans to eat anything made out of meat.

And fortunately for religion professors like myself, you don't have any idea what the Christian relationship to the Tanakh has traditionally been. I look forward to having a job for the forseeable future.

/ya rly
 
2009-11-17 12:01:00 AM
Bevets: Barakku:

Old cliche + Sarah Palin saying it = news

A Palin hater managed to stretch the cliche past the breaking point. 'This calls for a celebration -- We have found a new expression of our hatred for Sarah Palin.'


Do you have a bible quote to go along with that?
 
2009-11-17 12:02:00 AM
My Boobies was way funnier than this one, but apparently the filters disagreed.

Just think, about six months after she stops being a darling of the conservative press, we'll get to see her nekkid pictures on the intertubes. AW's just can't help themselves.

Cheers.
 
2009-11-17 12:02:05 AM
sunbird: cameroncrazy1984: sunbird: If God intended me to eat bacon, bats, ospreys, shellfish, mancock, why did he tell me not to?

Wait, you can't eat bats? What a terrible religion.

I know! I mean, banning teh ghey, making women second class citizens and all is understandable. But don't stand between me and a open pipistrelle on rye sandwich!


Do you guys remember that scene in Crocodile Dundee II(?) where the guy was eating a bat and the woman says "You can't be enjoying that" and the guy says "Nah, needs more garlic".
 
2009-11-17 12:02:58 AM
Thanks subby, that article made me LOL. I needed the laugh.
 
2009-11-17 12:03:05 AM
In her defense:

1) There are a number of food products that use vegetables to simulate meat (various brands of soyburgers and items like chik'n nuggets and veggie sausages, FriChik, Tofurky, Quorn, etc.)

2) There are NO food products that use meat to simulate vegetables

So there.
 
2009-11-17 12:03:21 AM
Fart_Machine: Well Jesus was a zombie.


In my country there is problem,
And that problem is transport.
It take very very long,
Because Kazakhstan is big.

Throw transport down the well (repeat line)
So my country can be free (repeat line)
We must make travel easy (repeat line)
Then we'll have a big party (repeat line)

In my country there is problem
And that problem is the Jew
They take everybody money
And they never give it back

Throw the jew down the well (repeat line)
So my country can be free (repeat line)
You must grab him by his horns (repeat line)
Then we have a big party (repeat line)

If you see the Jew coming
You must be carefull of his teeth
You must grab him by his money
And I tell you what to do

/not condoning the actual throwing of jesus down the well
 
2009-11-17 12:05:11 AM
RockIsDead: Jeez you guys must be scared shiatless that anyone will focus on Obama right now.

Heh, I know there have been other points where I KNEW you were a liberal fake troll but that seals it. You were disappointed in the last few Palin threads when somebody said "In before the trolls tell us we are scared of strong, conservative women". Right? Right? You finally got to use it.
 
2009-11-17 12:05:50 AM
jjorsett: If God had intended liberals to take a joke, why did He make them so humorless?

I know. We just didn't GET the "Half Hour News Hour". We suck.
 
2009-11-17 12:06:25 AM
eraser8: jjorsett: If God had intended liberals to take a joke, why did He make them so humorless?

Yeah, liberals could never come up with hilarious comedy like the conservative 1/2 Hour News Hour.


Dammit!
 
2009-11-17 12:06:33 AM
files.list.co.uk

Step away from the meat.
 
2009-11-17 12:07:07 AM
Hau Ruck: Sgt Otter: sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

You were close.

PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals

I'd be willing to bet she has this T-shirt.


Palin Eating Tasty Animals.

FTFY
 
2009-11-17 12:07:26 AM
sunbird: I'm left wondering what God would have made the animals out of if he hasn't intended us to eat them. Tofu perhaps?

Rocks.
and poo.
 
2009-11-17 12:07:43 AM
Parthenogenetic: In her defense:

1) There are a number of food products that use vegetables to simulate meat (various brands of soyburgers and items like chik'n nuggets and veggie sausages, FriChik, Tofurky, Quorn, etc.)

2) There are NO food products that use meat to simulate vegetables

So there.


God did NOT make Boca Burgers. That was Satan.
 
2009-11-17 12:08:38 AM
meat0918: Hau Ruck: Sgt Otter: sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

You were close.

PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals

I'd be willing to bet she has this T-shirt.

Palin Eating Tasty Animals.

FTFY


New porn title. "Pa(y)lin Eating Tasty Ass".
 
2009-11-17 12:09:45 AM
Sabyen91: Parthenogenetic: In her defense:

1) There are a number of food products that use vegetables to simulate meat (various brands of soyburgers and items like chik'n nuggets and veggie sausages, FriChik, Tofurky, Quorn, etc.)

2) There are NO food products that use meat to simulate vegetables

So there.

God did NOT make Boca Burgers. That was Satan.


I tried a Chik'n patty from MorningStar, instant heartburn.
 
2009-11-17 12:10:34 AM
The headline is the representative attitude in most comments in any Fark thread about vegans/vegetarians/PETA. Still, put Palin's name next to it, and it somehow becomes a thing to mock.

/ consistency FTW
 
2009-11-17 12:10:41 AM
I think it's time to reconsider Bush's human-animal hybrids.

Fun to ride, and eat.

img.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-17 12:12:35 AM
If God had not intended for me to vote for Obama, why did he make her so painfully stupid.
 
2009-11-17 12:13:17 AM
pup.socket: The headline is the representative attitude in most comments in any Fark thread about vegans/vegetarians/PETA. Still, put Palin's name next to it, and it somehow becomes a thing to mock.

/ consistency FTW


Are you saying Fark does not mock vegans/vegetarians and especially PETA? It took Palin to put us over the top?
 
2009-11-17 12:13:49 AM
clusterfrak: If God had not intended for me to vote for Obama, why did he make her so painfully stupid.

You chose Biden.

/You don't deserve a cookie.
 
2009-11-17 12:14:06 AM
the Palin haters

ssl.fark.com


More than enough said.
 
2009-11-17 12:14:17 AM
meat0918: Sabyen91: Parthenogenetic: In her defense:

1) There are a number of food products that use vegetables to simulate meat (various brands of soyburgers and items like chik'n nuggets and veggie sausages, FriChik, Tofurky, Quorn, etc.)

2) There are NO food products that use meat to simulate vegetables

So there.

God did NOT make Boca Burgers. That was Satan.

I tried a Chik'n patty from MorningStar, instant heartburn.


I loved the burgers way back when in the school cafeteria that were something like half meat and half soy but anything that is full soy should never fake being a meat product.
 
2009-11-17 12:14:56 AM
Notabunny: I think it's time to reconsider Bush's human-animal hybrids.

Fun to ride, and eat.


Damn. I...don't know what to think about that picture.
 
2009-11-17 12:15:27 AM
Parthenogenetic: In her defense:

1) There are a number of food products that use vegetables to simulate meat (various brands of soyburgers and items like chik'n nuggets and veggie sausages, FriChik, Tofurky, Quorn, etc.)

2) There are NO food products that use meat to simulate vegetables

So there.


I find soy chorizo proof that vegetarians hate humanity and want us to be unhappy.
 
2009-11-17 12:15:39 AM
3_Butt_Cheeks: clusterfrak: If God had not intended for me to vote for Obama, why did he make her so painfully stupid.

You chose Biden.

/You don't deserve a cookie.


Wut? Palin>Biden? Is this what you are saying?
 
2009-11-17 12:15:42 AM
Palin: 'I'm A Lover Of Books And Magazines And Newspapers,' And I Was Annoyed With Katie Couric

During her interview with Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin explained her infamous gaffe from the 2008 campaign, when Katie Couric asked what newspapers and magazines she reads, and Palin responded that she reads "all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years." And Palin said that she was annoyed at someone asking about what people in Alaska read.

Winfrey later asked: "When you finished that interview, did you think, 'I wished I had just named some magazines?'"

"Absolutely!" Palin replied.

Still doesn't name a single one (new window)
 
2009-11-17 12:16:01 AM
If God didn't want us to kill wolves from the air, why did he give us helicopters. And other stories... By Sarah Palin.


/She wont even need a ghost writer for this one
 
2009-11-17 12:16:02 AM
This woman is a national treasure.
 
2009-11-17 12:16:25 AM
libbynomore2: the Palin haters

More than enough said.


If God didn't want us to laugh at Sarah Palin, why did he make her so damn funny?
 
2009-11-17 12:16:45 AM
Sabyen91: meat0918: Sabyen91: Parthenogenetic: In her defense:

1) There are a number of food products that use vegetables to simulate meat (various brands of soyburgers and items like chik'n nuggets and veggie sausages, FriChik, Tofurky, Quorn, etc.)

2) There are NO food products that use meat to simulate vegetables

So there.

God did NOT make Boca Burgers. That was Satan.

I tried a Chik'n patty from MorningStar, instant heartburn.

I loved the burgers way back when in the school cafeteria that were something like half meat and half soy but anything that is full soy should never fake being a meat product.


The best veggie patty I ever had was homemade, and the only soy it contained was some soy flour as a binder.
 
2009-11-17 12:17:24 AM
libbynomore2: the Palin haters

More than enough said.


From you? Yeah, definitely more than enough said. Silly troll.
 
2009-11-17 12:19:05 AM
FormlessOne: libbynomore2: the Palin haters

More than enough said.

From you? Yeah, definitely more than enough said. Silly troll.


I am a notorious troll baiter but I rarely respond to that one. I have to be loaded for that.
 
2009-11-17 12:19:46 AM
clusterfrak: I find soy chorizo proof that vegetarians hate humanity and want us to be unhappy.

Hmmmmn, I tried the soy chorzo burrito at Trader Joes and thought it was pretty tasty.
 
2009-11-17 12:20:13 AM
meat0918: Sabyen91: meat0918: Sabyen91: Parthenogenetic: In her defense:

1) There are a number of food products that use vegetables to simulate meat (various brands of soyburgers and items like chik'n nuggets and veggie sausages, FriChik, Tofurky, Quorn, etc.)

2) There are NO food products that use meat to simulate vegetables

So there.

God did NOT make Boca Burgers. That was Satan.

I tried a Chik'n patty from MorningStar, instant heartburn.

I loved the burgers way back when in the school cafeteria that were something like half meat and half soy but anything that is full soy should never fake being a meat product.

The best veggie patty I ever had was homemade, and the only soy it contained was some soy flour as a binder.


I have never tasted a good veggie burger. Granted, I don't try that often but the few I have tried were just awful. I am not sure homemade would be much better for my taste.
 
2009-11-17 12:24:15 AM
Sarah Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.

/Has to be
 
2009-11-17 12:25:37 AM
Fart_Machine: clusterfrak: I find soy chorizo proof that vegetarians hate humanity and want us to be unhappy.

Hmmmmn, I tried the soy chorzo burrito at Trader Joes and thought it was pretty tasty.


Haven't tried the Trader Joe variety just the unholy concoction in Safeway. It tasted horrible and violated my digestive system. I was raped from the inside out by a fiery faux meat phallus. Never again NEVER.
 
2009-11-17 12:30:33 AM
jjorsett: If God had intended liberals to take a joke, why did He make them so humorless?

See. All conservatives do is take what liberals say and repeat it.



"Conservatives are not funny."


"Uh, um...uhhhhhh Liberals are humorless"

You guys have no originality whatsoever.

There.

Within a week I expect Fox News and all conservatives to be talking about how unoriginal the liberal mind is.
 
2009-11-17 12:31:00 AM
If God chose this nation above all others, why did you lose the election?
 
2009-11-17 12:32:42 AM
Sabyen91: meat0918: Sabyen91: meat0918: Sabyen91: Parthenogenetic: In her defense:

1) There are a number of food products that use vegetables to simulate meat (various brands of soyburgers and items like chik'n nuggets and veggie sausages, FriChik, Tofurky, Quorn, etc.)

2) There are NO food products that use meat to simulate vegetables

So there.

God did NOT make Boca Burgers. That was Satan.

I tried a Chik'n patty from MorningStar, instant heartburn.

I loved the burgers way back when in the school cafeteria that were something like half meat and half soy but anything that is full soy should never fake being a meat product.

The best veggie patty I ever had was homemade, and the only soy it contained was some soy flour as a binder.

I have never tasted a good veggie burger. Granted, I don't try that often but the few I have tried were just awful. I am not sure homemade would be much better for my taste.


It was onion, green pepper, portabello mushroom, cooked rice, cooked wild rice, and some lightly seasoned flour to hold it all together.

The blended and extruded concoctions from the store are really awful.

To be honest, I prefer a bratwurst with some sauteed onions and green peppers, or with good old sauerkraut; but mixing it up with some vegetarian dishes sometimes leads to good results in the kitchen.
 
2009-11-17 12:32:55 AM
Obnox: Palin: 'I'm A Lover Of Books And Magazines And Newspapers,' And I Was Annoyed With Katie Couric

She just cannot let it go. All she has to do is diplomatically say, "I had a brain-fart" and leave it at that. But she can't.

The real Sarah Palin always emerges like a chestburster.
 
2009-11-17 12:35:18 AM
As a vegetarian I can honestly say this doesn't affect my opinion of Sarah Palin at all one way or another. It was already bottomed out.
 
2009-11-17 12:45:52 AM
I'm just surprised she didn't say she eats lots of dogs.
 
2009-11-17 12:48:33 AM
SomeoneDumb: I'm just surprised she didn't say she eats lots of dogs.

Dog's a fine meal

www.movieactors.com
 
2009-11-17 12:57:40 AM
Am I *really* the first one to point out that the Sarah Palin trifecta is complete? Not that it's particularly uncommon.
 
2009-11-17 12:57:57 AM
DNRTFT; I'm just going to assume she was making a joke here. Yeah she's special, but I mean come on.
 
2009-11-17 12:58:02 AM
Fun with ads: I got this combo on the Politics mainpage.
img43.imageshack.us

(some slight cropping performed...)
 
2009-11-17 12:58:45 AM
For those who think right-whingers are humorless, I'll just leave this here:

www.imagechicken.com

/the box at the bottom left represents their empty ideology
//point, point
///laugh, laugh
 
2009-11-17 01:02:02 AM
If God had not intended for us to have abortions, how come He made them out of stem cells?
 
2009-11-17 01:04:59 AM
meat0918: Dog's a fine meal

www.theaspectratio.net

Disagrees.

Admittedly, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.

/hotter than the wolf
 
2009-11-17 01:05:36 AM
Truncks1: If God had not intended for us to have abortions, how come He made them out of stem cells?

Or made them defenseless.
 
2009-11-17 01:07:10 AM
clusterfrak: Truncks1: If God had not intended for us to have abortions, how come He made them out of stem cells?

Or made them defenseless.


Obviously you've never been sprayed in the eye while trying to dislodge a fetus. That's a highly effective defense mechanism
 
2009-11-17 01:09:11 AM
If God intended us to eat meat why do westerners have a 5 fold increase in colorectal cancer rates?
 
2009-11-17 01:09:36 AM
Dr. Farkenstein: For those who think right-whingers are humorless, I'll just leave this here

i34.tinypic.com

Fixed.
 
2009-11-17 01:11:53 AM
BOZ [TotalFark] 2009-11-16 07:39:05 PM
Subby is dain bramaged.

FTA - "according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: 'If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.'"

In other words, SHE didn't necessarily say it. Huffington Post SAID she said it. We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything. Funny how no one else has come up with this "excerpt".


The butt-hurt, it is palpable.
 
2009-11-17 01:14:46 AM
Wait wait wait wait... Bevets is a Palin-ite? Haha too appropriate.
 
2009-11-17 01:17:08 AM
this has got to be a hoax....right?

/right?
 
2009-11-17 01:17:26 AM
I'm damn grateful not to be on the side that has to come to the defense of this lunatic.
 
2009-11-17 01:22:16 AM
AdolfOliverPanties: If God did not intend for humans to have buttsecks, why is the anal aperture perfectly shaped for penile penetration?

Er, that's not really the case, it's not infrequent for sex acts involving anal penetration to result in some damage, sometimes even hospital visits. It's one of those things that's possible as a result of the body being designed with some decent factors of safety rather than a real 'intentional design' in the evolutionary sense.

Though if your point was just to show that what Sarah Palin said was silly... good for you, man. I guess.

//Yeah, yeah, I know, ending up in the hospital is how you know you're doing it right, etc.
 
2009-11-17 01:24:55 AM
Barbigazi: exick: Sarah, if God had not intended for you to get your biatch ass back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, why did he give me such a strong pimp hand?

If voting were enabled I would create an alt to vote for this twice.


Except he misspelled sammich.
 
2009-11-17 01:26:48 AM
Jim_Callahan: AdolfOliverPanties: If God did not intend for humans to have buttsecks, why is the anal aperture perfectly shaped for penile penetration?

Er, that's not really the case, it's not infrequent for sex acts involving anal penetration to result in some damage, sometimes even hospital visits. It's one of those things that's possible as a result of the body being designed with some decent factors of safety rather than a real 'intentional design' in the evolutionary sense.

Though if your point was just to show that what Sarah Palin said was silly... good for you, man. I guess.

//Yeah, yeah, I know, ending up in the hospital is how you know you're doing it right, etc.


You know what they say, if you can't take the meat get back in the kitchen. Works for vegetarians and women.
 
2009-11-17 01:30:24 AM
All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF
young-alumni.com
 
2009-11-17 01:31:16 AM
I don't like Palin.

I respect vegetarians as long as they stay out of my bidness.

That line has always been funnyish.
 
2009-11-17 01:33:10 AM
alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

too obvious. the pic put it way over the top.
 
2009-11-17 01:35:02 AM
Dr.Zom: this has got to be a hoax....right?

/right?


I think it was a joke, like:

"If you're dumber than me, slower than me, and you taste good, pass the salt."
-Anthony Bourdain

/can't believe the stupid shiat that will inspire yet another Palin bashing thread
//I heard she also farts, stupid smelly farting biatch!
///She's a cannibal, hur dur dur
 
2009-11-17 01:36:13 AM
alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

Per yr request I am now en route to Fazoli's, where I will proceed to dig in.

Mmmmmm, fast food pasta!
 
2009-11-17 01:36:33 AM
alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

Shes out there selling a ghost written life story. Very brave, you could say it takes a lot of nerve.


/lawlolawl
 
2009-11-17 01:38:10 AM
img.slate.com

Slate
 
2009-11-17 01:38:46 AM
alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

Tone it down slightly. Get more bites that way.
 
2009-11-17 01:41:01 AM
Truncks1: If God had not intended for us to have abortions, how come He made them out of stem cells coat hangars?

FTFY
 
2009-11-17 01:42:02 AM
Jim_Callahan: AdolfOliverPanties: If God did not intend for humans to have buttsecks, why is the anal aperture perfectly shaped for penile penetration?

Er, that's not really the case, it's not infrequent for sex acts involving anal penetration to result in some damage, sometimes even hospital visits. It's one of those things that's possible as a result of the body being designed with some decent factors of safety rather than a real 'intentional design' in the evolutionary sense.

Though if your point was just to show that what Sarah Palin said was silly... good for you, man. I guess.

//Yeah, yeah, I know, ending up in the hospital is how you know you're doing it right, etc.


If she relaxes she isn't going to the hospital.
 
2009-11-17 01:42:49 AM
alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

Is this serious? She quit her job.
 
2009-11-17 01:44:04 AM
alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

img.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-17 01:46:49 AM
When friends come over for dinner, I could whip them up spaghetti and monsters, then explain my philosophy on being a dietyvore: If God had not intended for us to eat Him, how come He made meals out of spaghetti? I always remind people from outside that there's plenty of room for all spaghetti - right next to the monsters.
 
2009-11-17 01:50:28 AM
ra-ra-raw: When friends come over for dinner, I could whip them up spaghetti and monsters, then explain my philosophy on being a dietyvore: If God had not intended for us to eat Him, how come He made meals out of spaghetti? I always remind people from outside that there's plenty of room for all spaghetti - right next to the monsters.

He sure does taste better than the flesh of Christ. That dude needed to hydrate.
 
2009-11-17 01:52:21 AM
Sabyen91: alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

Is this serious? She quit her job.


And she lives in Alaska. With her teenage daughter who had a child out of wedlock. Some difference she made in their lives.
 
2009-11-17 01:53:04 AM
Gyrfalcon: Sabyen91: alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

Is this serious? She quit her job.

And she lives in Alaska. With her teenage daughter who had a child out of wedlock. Some difference she made in their lives.


It's all in the book! It is like a self-help manual.

/Buy it
 
2009-11-17 01:54:54 AM
Sabyen91: Notabunny: I think it's time to reconsider Bush's human-animal hybrids.

Fun to ride, and eat.

Damn. I...don't know what to think about that picture.


I know exactly what to think about that picture.
[furiously google's home genetic manipulation kits, looks at title of picture...oh]
Damn. Barbie-que pit jokes may be tasteless.
/confused
 
2009-11-17 01:56:16 AM
ra-ra-raw: Sabyen91: Notabunny: I think it's time to reconsider Bush's human-animal hybrids.

Fun to ride, and eat.

Damn. I...don't know what to think about that picture.

I know exactly what to think about that picture.
[furiously google's home genetic manipulation kits, looks at title of picture...oh]
Damn. Barbie-que pit jokes may be tasteless.
/confused


See?
 
2009-11-17 01:59:48 AM
I'm more offended by the same tired recycled mashed potatoes joke.
 
2009-11-17 02:01:11 AM
I love the type of mindset and culture that has to think up a hypothetical of what to say in case a vegan comes over for dinner. What it comes down to is that they don't want to hear your shiat about eating animals, and you don't want to hear their shiat about eating soy, so you serve them a meal that isn't dipped in bacon fat and hope that nobody broaches the subject so that you can all continue getting drunk.
 
2009-11-17 02:01:55 AM
Notabunny: I think it's time to reconsider Bush's human-animal hybrids.

Fun to ride, and eat.



The weirdest thing about that is it's the only kind of porn that's less strange when it isn't furry.
 
2009-11-17 02:02:36 AM
Uncle Pim: Sarah Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.

/Has to be


I heard Trig Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.
 
2009-11-17 02:03:02 AM
More.

More strange.

Antonym-self-ownage, ITT
 
2009-11-17 02:05:12 AM
Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: I love the type of mindset and culture that has to think up a hypothetical of what to say in case a vegan comes over for dinner. What it comes down to is that they don't want to hear your shiat about eating animals, and you don't want to hear their shiat about eating soy, so you serve them a meal that isn't dipped in bacon fat and hope that nobody broaches the subject so that you can all continue getting drunk.

Nuh uh. I will make them a veggie cassarole and slip in beef broth. That will teach them for not eating meat.

/Not really.
 
2009-11-17 02:05:18 AM
ALso this thread is as stupid as the thread giving Obama shiat for bowing toward that jap guy.
 
2009-11-17 02:13:05 AM
Jeff73: ALso this thread is as stupid as the thread giving Obama shiat for bowing toward that jap guy.

If you can't camp 'em nuke 'em or eat 'em what is the point in threading 'em.
 
2009-11-17 02:16:11 AM
Seriously?

I mean, the lady's a moron, and deserves the jab, but her parroting a bumper sticker in a joke is like a fart in a wind-tunnel compared to the mass of idiocy that populates this book...
 
2009-11-17 02:18:09 AM
Leishu: Seriously?

I mean, the lady's a moron, and deserves the jab, but her parroting a bumper sticker in a joke is like a fart in a wind-tunnel compared to the mass of idiocy that populates this book...


There is this one joke about a black guy and two white guys on a boat. There are only two life preservers...

/Wanna hear the rest?
//Some things are stupid. Sarah Palin is one.
 
2009-11-17 02:21:23 AM
ra-ra-raw: Uncle Pim: Sarah Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.

/Has to be

I heard Trig Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.


I'm a conservative, and I'm down with that post. farking funny. Now do one incorporating "plant".

/ripping on retards is a bipartisan affair
 
2009-11-17 02:23:46 AM
Leishu: I mean, the lady's a moron, and deserves the jab, but her parroting a bumper sticker in a joke is like a fart in a wind-tunnel compared to the mass of idiocy that populates this book...

I don't know what to think about it. On one hand, it's a significant way to point out how absolutely stupid this woman is. She resolves complex ideological positions based on bumper stickers and billboards that you see while driving through Oklahoma. Then again, the people who apply said bumper stickers and cheer at billboards that you see while driving through Oklahoma won't understand the criticism at all and will masturbate themselves to sleep tonight with dancing librarians in their minds.
 
2009-11-17 02:31:05 AM
HowDareYouCallMeAHoser: ra-ra-raw: Uncle Pim: Sarah Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.

/Has to be

I heard Trig Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.

I'm a conservative, and I'm down with that post. farking funny. Now do one incorporating "plant".

/ripping on retards is a bipartisan affair


Since I am a trained monkey, and sticking with a theme of this thread,

The Special Olympics is a growth sport, and I am a vegetarian.
Only two months until for winter harvest.
 
2009-11-17 02:40:25 AM
ra-ra-raw: HowDareYouCallMeAHoser: ra-ra-raw: Uncle Pim: Sarah Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.

/Has to be

I heard Trig Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.

I'm a conservative, and I'm down with that post. farking funny. Now do one incorporating "plant".

/ripping on retards is a bipartisan affair

Since I am a trained monkey, and sticking with a theme of this thread,

The Special Olympics is a growth sport, and I am a vegetarian.
Only two months until for winter harvest.


Ouch, hell awaits for both of us for that one.
 
2009-11-17 02:43:18 AM
ra-ra-raw: Jeff73: ALso this thread is as stupid as the thread giving Obama shiat for bowing toward that jap guy.

If you can't camp 'em nuke 'em or eat 'em what is the point in threading 'em.


None. None whatsoever. Nuke the moon, motherfarker!
 
2009-11-17 02:45:33 AM
Sabyen91: ra-ra-raw: HowDareYouCallMeAHoser: ra-ra-raw: Uncle Pim:

Ouch, hell awaits for both of us for that one.


Incetivizing for longevity is another way to look at it.
Or, four legs good two legs bad.
 
2009-11-17 02:49:31 AM
sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

Came here to say that, except, c/glad/sad.

I'm still in shock that a high-school friend of mine that I know is smart "became of fan of Sarah Palin" on Facebook. He said she was the best of all 4 candidates in 08, and should have topped the ticket.

It's like we live in different worlds.

/me is sad
 
2009-11-17 02:50:36 AM
I wouldn't vote for her, but I'd eat some beef right now...and I'd eat her too.
 
2009-11-17 03:00:53 AM
Notabunny: I think it's time to reconsider Bush's human-animal hybrids.

Fun to ride, and eat.



The Special Culinary Olympics.

It would save venues, and satiate more than a couple niches with one event.

Wait, is this a graphical niche porn fetish thing?

Fark, I thought we were talking about genetically engineering hot babes to frolic with and then feast on.
You guys are perverts, get the hell out.
 
2009-11-17 03:01:31 AM
It's a Homer Simpson quote. For realz.

static.desktopnexus.com

/hot like Homer
 
2009-11-17 03:04:43 AM
Thus Sayeth Homer (Pops to this and other Homer Simpson quotes)

Apparently, Palin's a plagerizerister, too.
 
2009-11-17 03:11:34 AM
southaustin: Thus Sayeth Homer (Pops to this and other Homer Simpson quotes)

Apparently, Palin's a plagerizerister, too.


SIMPSONS DID IT!!
 
2009-11-17 03:12:04 AM
sunbird: If God intended me to eat bacon, bats, ospreys, shellfish, mancock, why did he tell me not to?

And that is why I did not convert when I married my (ex)wife. On the other hand, I was a very bad influence on her. Ok, she wasn't a practicing Jew, but still.
 
2009-11-17 03:20:39 AM
ra-ra-raw: The Special Olympics is a growth sport, and I am a vegetarian.
Only two months until for winter harvest.


I know from experience that eating whale cock makes your own cock bigger.

My question is, does eating retard meat add to your intelligence, or subtract from it. I suspect that it would give you "retard strength", but at what cost?

Should I be searching for a muscular intelectual, capture him/her, feed him/her whale cock, then sup in him/her.

/used to look after VIOLENT retarded "people", two "people" within arms reach of "them" at all times, so "they" don't run through a closed sliding glass door
//They would eat their own lips and tongues, throw shiat, piss and shiat themselves, just to spite you. Poke out their own eyes, beat the hearing out of their ears.
///they looked delicious
////Trig is what we called a "Hollywood retard".
//I was the only one of "us" that spoke English, just sayin'.
 
2009-11-17 03:25:55 AM
If you farked the shiate out of that cougar, you'd never get the smell of stupid out of your sheets.
 
2009-11-17 03:42:23 AM
emocrats: "We're so over Palin."
Republican: "Uh-huh."
Democrats: "I mean, her interviews were terrible."
Republicans: "Ay-yup."
Democrats: "And what's with her kids, anyway?"
Republicans: "Mmmm."
Democrats: "She couldn't even put up a decent debate."
Republicans: "Yeah."
Democrats: "Man, I hate her."
Republicans: "Hmmph."
Democrats: "And all those ethics charges..."
Republicans: "I gotta be going."
Democrats: "Then she up and quits...what a quitter."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "She's not qualified for anything."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Why would anyone support her?"
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Good riddance, I say."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Finally closure. I'm totally over her."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Want nothing to do with her anymore."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Changing my phone number."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Removing the tattoo."
***

/not mine but it needs to be posted..
 
2009-11-17 03:51:11 AM
HowDareYouCallMeAHoser: ra-ra-raw
I know from experience that eating whale cock makes your own cock bigger.

My question is, does eating retard meat add to your intelligence, or subtract from it. I suspect that it would give you "retard strength", but at what cost?

Can you afford this?
 
2009-11-17 04:15:09 AM
vabeard: emocrats: "We're so over Palin."
Republican: "Uh-huh."
Democrats: "I mean, her interviews were terrible."
Republicans: "Ay-yup."
Democrats: "And what's with her kids, anyway?"
Republicans: "Mmmm."
Democrats: "She couldn't even put up a decent debate."
Republicans: "Yeah."
Democrats: "Man, I hate her."
Republicans: "Hmmph."
Democrats: "And all those ethics charges..."
Republicans: "I gotta be going."
Democrats: "Then she up and quits...what a quitter."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "She's not qualified for anything."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Why would anyone support her?"
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Good riddance, I say."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Finally closure. I'm totally over her."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Want nothing to do with her anymore."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Changing my phone number."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Removing the tattoo."
***

/not mine but it needs to be posted..


emocrats: "We're waiting for you to have someone demonstrate leadership."
Republican: "Uh-huh."
Democrats: "I mean, anyone whose interviews were not terrible."
Republicans: "Ay-yup."
Democrats: "And someone that does not accuse others of farking kids, ok?"
Republicans: "Mmmm."
Democrats: "Someone that can put up a decent debate."
Republicans: "Yeah."
Democrats: "Man, I hate dishonest disingenuous demagogues."
Republicans: "Hmmph."
Democrats: "Someone that understands that wearing sponsorships jackets is an ethical violation"
Republicans: "I gotta be going."
Democrats: "Hopefully, someone that will finish their term instead of appointing an unelected representative while they use their position to accumulate millions and leave their constituents in the lurch"
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "She's not qualified for anything except a FOX News editorialist post."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Why would anyone other that a puppetmaster support her?"
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "If she came to power, who would she represent?"
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Hopefully this comes to an election, almost everyone is over her."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Americans want nothing to do with her anymore."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Changing her phone number to one I don't know."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Removing the tattoo from my ass that says 'Death Before Sarah', because she does not stand a chance."

Emo-Crats: HAA HAA HAA
Republicans: "Huh what??"
***
 
2009-11-17 04:34:59 AM
ra-ra-raw:

That would be funnier if it were true.

More like....


Rightwing loonies: "Palin is more experience than Obama and a great American. She would make a great president. If the liberal media hadn't destroyed her she would be VP right now and America would be snorting cocaine off of a tai ladyboys cock."

Everyone who isn't farking retarded:

"Aw jeeze...not this shiat again."
 
2009-11-17 04:46:36 AM
Sarah's p*ssy is made out of meat, but no one is going to eat it.
 
2009-11-17 04:54:23 AM
I think that the Palin defenders/apologists in these threads are the most hilarious things I've seen in days. It can't be real. No one is really that ridiculous.
 
2009-11-17 04:58:20 AM
vabeard: emocrats: "We're so over Palin."
Republican: "Uh-huh."
Democrats: "I mean, her interviews were terrible."
Republicans: "Ay-yup."
Democrats: "And what's with her kids, anyway?"
Republicans: "Mmmm."
Democrats: "She couldn't even put up a decent debate."
Republicans: "Yeah."
Democrats: "Man, I hate her."
Republicans: "Hmmph."
Democrats: "And all those ethics charges..."
Republicans: "I gotta be going."
Democrats: "Then she up and quits...what a quitter."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "She's not qualified for anything."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Why would anyone support her?"
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Good riddance, I say."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Finally closure. I'm totally over her."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Want nothing to do with her anymore."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Changing my phone number."
*crickets chirping*
Democrats: "Removing the tattoo."
***

/not mine but it needs to be posted..


Sarah and her legion of idiots bullied the GOP into dropping out of a race for a congressional district they'd held for 150 years. That's a pretty strange definition of "crickets chirping" you have there.
 
2009-11-17 05:02:48 AM
It's not mine. I copied/pasted it.
I still think it illustrates the the craziness that people still attach to her.
She's a failed candidate, but people don't seem to be able to let go.
 
2009-11-17 05:03:49 AM
JerkyMeat: Sarah's p*ssy is made out of meat, but no one is going to eat it.

On Sarah and Todd's wedding night, Sarah went to her mother for advice.
She said "Mom, I am worried because my opening is so big that Todd might not like it."
Sarah's mom said "oh honey, that is nothing to worry about. I am in the same situation. What you need to do is take a pound of moose liver and put it inside before you go to bed. Todd won't know the difference."
The next day, Todd got up early to go get check the traplines and Sarah woke up when he was leaving.
She was nervous, as he had not said a word leaving the room.
Yelling downstairs, she said "is everything alright?"
He yelled back "sure is sweetheart, and your c*nt is in the bathroom sink."

*Credit to Larry David for sticking it where it belongs week after week*
 
2009-11-17 05:07:37 AM
If God didn't want us to eat pussy, why did he make it look so much like a taco?

also:

If God didn't want us to lick dick, why did he make it look so much like a popsicle?
 
2009-11-17 05:17:00 AM
vabeard: It's not mine. I copied/pasted it.
I still think it illustrates the the craziness that people still attach to her.
She's a failed candidate, but people don't seem to be able to let go.


Personally, I am not letting the idea of her go because I have heard that she is in negotiations with Rupert Murdoch for a FOX news show, and that offends me on a cultural and sociatal level, and a political one.
If it ends up being a prime-time double-act with Glonn Bock, you will not hear the end of me, screaming like the little biatch she will of made all of America.
 
2009-11-17 05:21:15 AM
Bonanza Jellybean: If God didn't want us to eat pussy, why did he make it look so much like a taco?

also:

If God didn't want us to lick dick, why did he make it look so much like a popsicle?


If God didn't want us to eat his genitals, why does they look like the garlic toast on the side of a plate of spaghetti?
 
2009-11-17 05:28:40 AM
To quote Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle, "Yes, there is a vegetarian option - you can fark off."
 
2009-11-17 05:47:18 AM
vabeard: It's not mine. I copied/pasted it.
I still think it illustrates the the craziness that people still attach to her.
She's a failed candidate, but people don't seem to be able to let go.


By "people" you mean "her," right? Because it's not like she's being dragged kicking and screaming into the splotlight. She went on Oprah this week, for Pete's sake. She is an attention whore. You can't complain when the attention that she gets is negative.
 
2009-11-17 05:48:33 AM
chemical_angel: I think that the Palin defenders/apologists in these threads are the most hilarious things I've seen in days. It can't be real. No one is really that ridiculous.

Where?, Er, what? She... Wait, I like meat, and I would hit it. Um, we want to hit it, don't you? Wait, all us were mad/aroused when she more ruined the R ticket? Who? If she had arms that shot arms, I'd get behind her. Right now I just want her to go down. Syndrome!
 
2009-11-17 05:55:04 AM
ElPresidente: To quote Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle, "Yes, there is a vegetarian option - you can fark off."

Yes, there is a vegetarian Sarah Palin - Tina Fey.
 
2009-11-17 06:07:34 AM
www.qwantz.com




How has this not been posted yet?
 
2009-11-17 06:21:45 AM
 
2009-11-17 06:43:06 AM
Sgt Otter: You were close.

Satisfied.
 
2009-11-17 07:14:32 AM
Sir Vanderhoot: How has this not been posted yet?

FTFY
i468.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-17 07:31:18 AM
sunbird: I'm left wondering what God would have made the animals out of if he hasn't intended us to eat them...

Santorum?
 
2009-11-17 07:32:53 AM
she names her kids track and trig. that just says it all.
 
2009-11-17 07:46:09 AM
alpentalrules: All of you Palin bashers can kiss my grits. At lease she has the guts to put herself out there and try and make a difference. You liberal farkers are human trash. Go DIAF

No hate like conservative hate.

Man, the right-wingers in this thread are about as successful as the Browns were last night.
 
2009-11-17 07:47:13 AM



farm4.static.flickr.com



 
2009-11-17 08:05:29 AM
jjorsett: If God had intended liberals to take a joke, why did He make them so humorless?

I'm not "humorless", but this joke was on loan from the Museum of Mesopotamia. It's just that old.
 
2009-11-17 08:11:53 AM
So it's become abundantly clear that this entire book is a collection of jokes. Know what the last punch line is? You bought the farking thing.
 
2009-11-17 08:32:39 AM
So Sarah Palin is thrilled by a joke that I found hilarious when I was 16. I'm not surprised.
 
2009-11-17 08:34:57 AM
If God didn't want us to torture Arabs then why did he give them nerves?
 
2009-11-17 09:00:00 AM
sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

well only the simple, easy to understand ones. Show her one of those two-line ones and she'll be all "Whoa!, Whoa! Hold up there Poindexter!, I'm a simple small-town real American, and I don't go in for elitist intellectual snobbery! Now, where's Katie Couric? Let's do this thing!"
 
2009-11-17 09:05:01 AM
I realize I'm not a believer but the more serious believers speak of their god in such a cheap, carnival trinket way, the less respect I feel they are due and I wasn't starting with much for them to begin with.

/meat eater, as I evolved to be.
//bring me everything on the menu that used to be a pig.
 
2009-11-17 09:08:29 AM
I summon the power of the FARK Grammar Nazis to discuss whether the colloquial term "How Come" is even the proper way to ask the question. Wouldn't proper English be " WHY did He make them out of meat?"

It think "how come" has been accepted as proper (yet colloquial) usage... but still, is it just the Northeastern elitists (and therefore not a Real(tm) American) in me that thinks that "how come" is just dumb and hick-y and is typically the way a 3rd grader asks questions?
 
2009-11-17 09:12:34 AM
phillyguy1547: It think "how come" has been accepted as proper (yet colloquial) usage... but still, is it just the Northeastern elitists (and therefore not a Real(tm) American) in me that thinks that "how come" is just dumb and hick-y and is typically the way a 3rd grader asks questions?

I think it's a shortened bastardization of "How has it come to be." Just my crappy little opinion.
 
2009-11-17 09:17:22 AM
If God had not intended us to eat animals, he would have given us different teeth.


baxterking.com
 
2009-11-17 09:21:58 AM
sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

The former governor later went on to say that her kid could beat up your honor student, and she's not tailgating -- she's drafting.
 
2009-11-17 09:22:31 AM
Phil Herup: If God had not intended us to eat animals, he would have given us different teeth.

And not given us stereoscopic vision which is darned useful for hunting other fauna.

Nor made meat so gosh darned delicious.
 
2009-11-17 09:29:43 AM
phillyguy1547: thinks that "how come" is just dumb and hick-y and is typically the way a 3rd grader asks questions?

I hear "Whycome" and "Becausewhy" and even get a Because in response to a yes or no question.
Of course, I'm not talking to CEOs, or CFOs.
Oh, wait.
I am.
 
2009-11-17 09:30:18 AM
Cinaed: And not given us stereoscopic vision which is darned useful for hunting other fauna.



and not given us the brain to fabricate spears and guns, and opposable thumbs to operate them


/God also allowed us to invent the BBQ smoker
 
2009-11-17 09:32:09 AM
The Homer Tax: sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

The former governor later went on to say that her kid could beat up your honor student, and she's not tailgating -- she's drafting.


It was the Obama '08 comment that confused me.
 
2009-11-17 09:36:22 AM
cameroncrazy1984: sunbird: If God intended me to eat bacon, bats, ospreys, shellfish, mancock, why did he tell me not to?

Wait, you can't eat bats? What a terrible religion.


Ozzy? Is that you?
 
2009-11-17 09:37:15 AM
Phil Herup: If God had not intended us to eat animals, he would have given us different teeth.

You know, Phil, for all the shiat I give you -- especially about being a dentist -- this is one time you are on my wavelength 100%.

The tooth argument -- that and intestinal flora -- is the best way to trump a vegetarian's "why do u eat meat?!" argument.

/Doesn't eat much meat
//Ethics has nothing to do with it
///Something's gotta die for you to live
 
2009-11-17 09:40:23 AM
Magorn: sweetmelissa31: I'm glad she gets her talking points from bumper stickers.

well only the simple, easy to understand ones. Show her one of those two-line ones and she'll be all "Whoa!, Whoa! Hold up there Poindexter!, I'm a simple small-town real American, and I don't go in for elitist intellectual snobbery! Now, where's Katie Couric? Let's do this thing!"


BUSH SUCKS. DICK
CHENEY TOO


/one of my all time favorites
 
2009-11-17 09:40:33 AM
If God didn't want me to shove this banana deep up my rectum, then why did his handsome disciple Kirk Cameron put the idea in my head?

coreybb.com
 
2009-11-17 09:48:56 AM
BOZ: Subby is dain bramaged.

FTA - "according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: 'If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.'"

In other words, SHE didn't necessarily say it. Huffington Post SAID she said it. We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything. Funny how no one else has come up with this "excerpt".


She doesn't know the difference between carnivore and omnivore. That much is very clear.
 
2009-11-17 09:51:09 AM
But aren't we made out of meat?

They're Made Out of Meat by Terry Bisson (new window)
 
2009-11-17 09:54:48 AM
Taminator: But aren't we made out of meat?

They're Made Out of Meat by Terry Bisson (new window)


Yes, yes we are.
That God, such a comedian.
 
2009-11-17 10:06:25 AM
FishStampede: "They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."


Great reference!

/also, Palin recycled a dumb joke. I'm finding it hard to be outraged.
 
2009-11-17 10:08:29 AM
Is she going to invite these guys for dinner?
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2009-11-17 10:22:22 AM
HowDareYouCallMeAHoser: Dr.Zom: this has got to be a hoax....right?

/right?

I think it was a joke, like:

"If you're dumber than me, slower than me, and you taste good, pass the salt."
-Anthony Bourdain

/can't believe the stupid shiat that will inspire yet another Palin bashing thread
//I heard she also farts, stupid smelly farting biatch!
///She's a cannibal, hur dur dur




Came here to say this.

If your guy is so smart and Sarah is so dumb, why is it necessary to jump on stupid stuff like this? For example, I don't pick on Nancy Pelosi because she constantly makes up and then restates "Bible verses", I pick on her because she funnels money to her husbands country, thinks questions about the constitution are "not serious questions", and doesn't seem to realize that the CIA is telling her it's water-boarding people.

Find me a similar example of stupidity in this woman, or move on.
 
2009-11-17 10:26:26 AM
Curse of the Goth Kids: DNRTFT; I'm just going to assume she was making a joke here. Yeah she's special, but I mean come on.

Yes, she even whipped out the "next to the mashed potatoes" joke right after that. They're old jokes. So old that even Fark has put them out to pasture.

But let's pretend that she was serious to use it as a political weapon. Yeah, that'll work.
 
2009-11-17 10:36:51 AM
Also the word "meat" contains the words "me" and "eat". It's a sign.
 
2009-11-17 10:38:04 AM
the_ut_tick: If your guy is so smart and Sarah is so dumb, why is it necessary to jump on stupid stuff like this?

Because a surprisingly large and statistically significant (if still very much a minority) of Americans look to her as a major political figure, preferred flag-bearer for their ideologies, and if they had their way, leader of this nation.

The bashing of Palin is just as much a bashing of the individuals who support her, ridiculing of their rationale for said support, and questioning of their intellect, capacity to reason, etc.
 
2009-11-17 10:39:57 AM
She's channeling Flanders and Swann.

She's going to be talking about Hippopotami next.
 
2009-11-17 10:45:56 AM
2wolves: BOZ: Subby is dain bramaged.

FTA - "according to an excerpt published by the Huffington Post: 'If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat? I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals - right next to the mashed potatoes.'"

In other words, SHE didn't necessarily say it. Huffington Post SAID she said it. We all know what a wonderfully unbiased periodical they are! Not that they would ever lie about Republicans or anything. Funny how no one else has come up with this "excerpt".

She doesn't know the difference between carnivore and omnivore. That much is very clear.


That was my reaction too.
 
2009-11-17 10:47:11 AM
RedThree: If Because God chose this nation above all others, why did you she lost the election?!

Fixed.

Would look for an Obama & God fist bump if I had the time.
 
2009-11-17 11:06:49 AM
Dr. Mojo PhD: Doesn't eat much meat
//Ethics has nothing to do with it
///Something's gotta die for you to live




Yeah I have cut back on my meat intake quite a bit since I got into my late 30's.

Still loves it, but in moderation now.

Lot's of sushi though... I house that shiat.

/I try not to let the animals die in vain
 
2009-11-17 11:14:14 AM
The best part is that you usually hear the same used-up lines spouted on Fark threads about vegetarians.

I'm just surprised that she didn't quote Maddox!

i45.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-17 11:36:23 AM
AdolfOliverPanties: If God did not intend for humans to have buttsecks, why is the anal aperture perfectly shaped for penile penetration?

Winner
 
2009-11-17 11:40:27 AM
Sarah Palin vs. vegans...

Who the hell do you root for in that fight?
 
2009-11-17 11:43:59 AM
HeartBurnKid: Sarah Palin vs. vegans...

Who the hell do you root for in that fight?


Um... not sure, but if you tossed them in the ring with the Somali pirates the the NorK crew and it'd make a killing on pay-per-view
 
2009-11-17 12:30:19 PM
Phil Herup: If God had not intended us to eat animals, he would have given us different teeth.

If God did not intend for men to be gay, then why does a penis fit nicely into another man's anus?
 
2009-11-17 12:38:28 PM
FarktheHeraldAngelSings: Phil Herup: If God had not intended us to eat animals, he would have given us different teeth.

If God did not intend for men to be gay, then why does a penis fit nicely into another man's anus?


No no no, you're going about it all wrong.
Here's a hint, do a lil reading on the prostate, and resubmit your work.
 
2009-11-17 01:09:49 PM
here's like she's got a modest proposal going.
 
2009-11-17 01:15:07 PM
HeartBurnKid: Sarah Palin vs. vegans...

Who the hell do you root for in that fight?


Anthrax
 
2009-11-17 01:15:32 PM
I really hope this was tongue in cheek by her. Because it's a line I've used on multiple occasions, usually while having steak, which is mildly funny simply due to its inherent amount of ironic stupidity.
 
2009-11-17 01:50:14 PM
GoHomeAndGetYourShinebox: Kirk

Can't beleive it took that long for this to be referenced...
 
2009-11-17 03:00:16 PM
Obnox: Palin: 'I'm A Lover Of Books And Magazines And Newspapers,' And I Was Annoyed With Katie Couric

During her interview with Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin explained her infamous gaffe from the 2008 campaign, when Katie Couric asked what newspapers and magazines she reads, and Palin responded that she reads "all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years." And Palin said that she was annoyed at someone asking about what people in Alaska read.

Winfrey later asked: "When you finished that interview, did you think, 'I wished I had just named some magazines?'"

"Absolutely!" Palin replied.

Still doesn't name a single one (new window)


I was able to sit through about half the interview before the dry heaves kicked in. I had to snert a little when they got to the Couric interview. Palin said she was expecting a "fun, lighthearted" interview, but instead she got "badgered" by Couric. I guess it was far from lighthearted for Couric to bring down the heavy hammer of Palin's reading habits.

It was all more of the same "It's everybody else's fault I lost" whining, along with a healty dose of "b-b-b-but double standard!"
 
2009-11-17 03:03:19 PM
FarktheHeraldAngelSings: Phil Herup: If God had not intended us to eat animals, he would have given us different teeth.

If God did not intend for men to be gay, then why does a penis fit nicely into another man's anus?



It fits just fine into a female anus.


/yeah they love it!
 
2009-11-17 03:38:37 PM
Jaakobi: hey I agree with Sarah (for once). I mean, the only reason we don't eat people is because it tastes lousy.

No it doesn't!

/I, um...
//I, ah, read it in a book. Yeah. That's it.
 
2009-11-17 04:01:12 PM
buckler: Obnox: Palin: 'I'm A Lover Of Books And Magazines And Newspapers,' And I Was Annoyed With Katie Couric

During her interview with Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin explained her infamous gaffe from the 2008 campaign, when Katie Couric asked what newspapers and magazines she reads, and Palin responded that she reads "all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years." And Palin said that she was annoyed at someone asking about what people in Alaska read.

Winfrey later asked: "When you finished that interview, did you think, 'I wished I had just named some magazines?'"

"Absolutely!" Palin replied.

Still doesn't name a single one (new window)

I was able to sit through about half the interview before the dry heaves kicked in. I had to snert a little when they got to the Couric interview. Palin said she was expecting a "fun, lighthearted" interview, but instead she got "badgered" by Couric. I guess it was far from lighthearted for Couric to bring down the heavy hammer of Palin's reading habits.

It was all more of the same "It's everybody else's fault I lost" whining, along with a healty dose of "b-b-b-but double standard!"


Wow, I'm a bookseller and I wish I had half the time to read everything that's in front of me. I have to be content with just one book a week :(
 
2009-11-17 04:09:10 PM
I'm going to build a device with two compartments. Into those compartments I will place the most rabidly partisan left wing farkers and the most rabidly partisan right wing farkers, respectively. On a wall in front of each group will be projected an image that oscillates between portraits of Barack Obama and Sarah Palin. The raw power of the resulting alternating rage and worship will be translated by my device into kinetic force that will allow Mankind to sail beyond the stars.
 
2009-11-17 04:19:25 PM
Jeff73: I'm going to build a device with two compartments. Into those compartments I will place the most rabidly partisan left wing farkers and the most rabidly partisan right wing farkers, respectively. On a wall in front of each group will be projected an image that oscillates between portraits of Barack Obama and Sarah Palin. The raw power of the resulting alternating rage and worship will be translated by my device into kinetic force that will allow Mankind to sail beyond the stars.

I'm pretty sure that's what finally killed Nikola Tesla.
 
2009-11-17 06:55:24 PM
buckler: I'm pretty sure that's what finally killed Nikola Tesla.


Ignore the ravings of that fool Edison! His Direct Rage/Worship technology is not a trace more safe, and delivers far less energy per mindless groupie.
 
2009-11-17 06:56:26 PM
Jesus stop talking about her and hopefully she'll go away.
 
2009-11-17 07:33:32 PM
ra-ra-raw: Uncle Pim: Sarah Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.

/Has to be

I heard Trig Palin is a liberal plant to make conservatives look stupid.


It's working.
 
2009-11-17 07:43:37 PM
Sarah palin is such a useless piece of shiat that I'm actually gonna side with the vegitarians on this one.
 
2009-11-17 08:22:02 PM
Please don't post headlines that make me agree with that numbskull. I hate taking multiple showers in one day. For one, I burn through shampoo and conditioner faster.
 
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