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A quick note about the upcoming Headline of the Year contest, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/8 - 11/14 
Posted by Drew at 2009-11-16 2:07:41 PM (55 comments) | Permalink
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From Unfreakable:

Normally Drew likes to kick off every week with some media commentary and our usual Fark Betting Line on the stories we expect to see coming up. But now that we're halfway through November, we're getting to work on Fark's annual Headline of the Year contest. We're going to gather up all of the winners from our Headline of the Week collections and supplement them with some of your nominations.

Some of your favorite headlines might not have made it to the top of the Headline of the Week voting for the particular week it came in, so if you have a favorite, we're going to have a separate Headline of the Year nomination thread with voting enabled later this afternoon and another one again this Friday, just to make sure we haven't missed any good ones in addition to our own favorites.

For those of you who are newer and might have missed our Headline of the Year contests in previous years, here were the final voting threads for:

Headline of the Year: 2006

Headline of the Year: 2007

Headline of the Year: 2008

And it's not too late to get one of your own headlines in the running for November or December, although we'll probably be wrapping up the contest earlier in December this year rather than wait until the end the month when most people are away and traveling. If you have any questions about it or want to help, shoot me an email.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-11-08 to Sat 2009-11-14:

img1.fark.net  Two decades after the Berlin Wall came down, many in the once divided city no longer even remember where it stood. Hey Germany, that's why we use slogans here in the States. 9-11-2000, Never Forget    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Landslide in India kills 42 and demolishes hundreds of homes. To top it all off, they're going to need a new deli    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Possible hostage situation in Jefferson City, MO government building. Information is sparse, but witnesses say police are moving on up    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  British MPs preparing to beat off invading horde of Olympic hookers, which seems backward to submitter    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Unknown substance found on NJ Transit train. Probably cleanser    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Using only a cell phone and a pelican, man turns his $2 million Bugatti into a submarine    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Ohio couple married 61 years and died one day apart. There is no escape. Did you hear me? NO ESCAPE    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Sing us a song of your piano scam, sing us a song tonight. Well we're all in the mood for some forgery, and you took our money all right    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  U.S. reports largest mumps outbreak in three years. Think of it like a swine flu outbreak, but serious    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Cops who found magic mushroom grow house give up on counting them all, say it would be easier if the mushrooms would hold still and stop singing    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Last signed autograph of John F. Kennedy sells for a sum that could blow your mind    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Victor Zambrano's mother kidnapped in Venezuela. Jim Duquette on the phone now trying to trade her for Scott Kazmir's mother    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Red Sox sign Tim Wakefield to two more years, subject to league approval of his using a walker to get to the pitcher's mound    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  ♪ Turn Thabeet around ♪ Let's check for concussion ♪  


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Picky consumers first wanted organic vegetables, now they want the ones with the smallest "environmental footprint." In related news, some kid named Mobotu in Zimbabwe has offered to eat your carrot peelings if that's okay    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Michigan mathematician ends up in winner's circle, but finds it pointless    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  West African giraffes make surprising comeback; now face Lions in division play-offs    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Blockbuster's getting back in the game with a kiosk that sells DRM'd movies on an SD card that requires a special box to....hey wait, where are you going?    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Wynonna Judd says Taylor Swift should not have won any CMAs. Judd then returned to eating her fries, only to be scolded by her shift manager for stealing food    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Brad Pitt takes wine-making classes, will inevitably be expelled for yelling "WHAT'S IN THE WINE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE WINE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE FARKING WINE BOX?"    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Arbitrator rejects case against Glenn Beck parody site, agreeing with the defense's argument that only a staggering moron would believe it. Beck points to his audience, nodding furiously  

img1.fark.net  Obama rejects all current Afghan options, says they don't tie the room together    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  "Some" senior citizens are cancelling their AARP memberships in an Obamacare protest. The rest will have their membership cancelled... soon enough    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  John Mayer defends Britney Spears, saying that lip-synching is okay. Concertgoers would have complained about having seen him lip-synching, but they tend to drift off to sleep after about twenty minutes    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Rihanna's "Umbrella" voted the best song of the decade by the Institute of People Who Don't Really Listen to a Lot of Music    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Pope to release Christmas album, meaning Lady Gaga now has the second weirdest wardrobe in music    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  The only underground mushroom farm in the U.S. to lay off 260 workers. Shiitake happens    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Electronic Arts laying off 1,500 people. Imagine all the sequels we'll be missing out on now    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Comcast requires their customer service agents to undergo an eleven-week training course where they learn useful skills like empathy, understanding, and resolution. And yet none of this shows on a single call    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


55 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-11-16 02:13:11 PM
Normally Drew likes to

Talk about himself in the third person?
 
2009-11-16 02:17:15 PM
Wouldn't it make more sense to move the Headline of the Year voting into the first week of January? No sense ignoring the last couple of weeks of December.
 
2009-11-16 02:20:24 PM
Donald_McRonald: Talk about himself in the third person?

Please read two lines above that.
 
2009-11-16 02:21:24 PM
I like the Wynonna Judd one
 
2009-11-16 02:22:02 PM
Vogon Poet: Wouldn't it make more sense to move the Headline of the Year voting into the first week of January? No sense ignoring the last couple of weeks of December.

Technically, yes, but end of the year recaps typically happen in December, so we're being a bit more conventional.
 
2009-11-16 02:22:17 PM
Vogon Poet: Wouldn't it make more sense to move the Headline of the Year voting into the first week of January? No sense ignoring the last couple of weeks of December.

You could keep track of them for the last 2 weeks and nominate them next year.

December 2009, never forget.
 
2009-11-16 02:23:09 PM
Oh, "Giraffes..." FWIW
 
2009-11-16 02:24:05 PM
Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

Still cracks me up.
 
2009-11-16 02:28:06 PM
Hilarity_N_Sues: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

Still cracks me up.


Now I have to re-visit that thread.
 
2009-11-16 02:28:48 PM
that deli one still cracks me up
 
2009-11-16 02:31:02 PM
 
2009-11-16 02:33:59 PM
Hilarity_N_Sues: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

Still cracks me up.


LOL, every time.
 
2009-11-16 02:34:11 PM
UNFREAKABLE:
WHER THA
LAST 2 WEEKS
OF DEC
WHER?

/sorry, yeah, that was pretty stupid.
 
2009-11-16 02:35:35 PM
Headline of the Year 2009:

M,ILF

Book it.

Done.
 
2009-11-16 02:35:56 PM
Unfreakable: Donald_McRonald: Talk about himself in the third person?

Please read two lines above that.


Two lines above that it says Posted by Drew
 
2009-11-16 02:37:09 PM
What about "forgotten" Sports, Business, etc. headlines?
 
2009-11-16 02:38:17 PM
I especially enjoyed "new deli" and "NO ESCAPE"
 
2009-11-16 02:39:19 PM
Hopefully the selection will be better than those above.
 
2009-11-16 02:40:52 PM
Donald_McRonald: Two lines above that it says Posted by Drew

Didn't catch that, but I changed what I could since I don't have a separate place to put up blog posts like this. I changed the source name and put my name inside the posting, too. I figured that was enough.
 
2009-11-16 02:41:47 PM
HaywoodJablonski: What about "forgotten" Sports, Business, etc. headlines?

I'll put up a nomination thread in a couple hours. If it's been greenlit, it's eligible.
 
2009-11-16 02:45:26 PM
Unfreakable: HaywoodJablonski: What about "forgotten" Sports, Business, etc. headlines?

I'll put up a nomination thread in a couple hours. If it's been greenlit, it's eligible.


Perfect. Off to harvest NBA Conference Finals discussion threads
 
2009-11-16 02:46:56 PM
But I haven't submitted it yet..
 
2009-11-16 02:48:19 PM
Unfreakable: Didn't catch that, but I changed what I could since I don't have a separate place to put up blog posts like this. I changed the source name and put my name inside the posting, too. I figured that was enough.

uh, welcome to Fark, noob. it's never enough.
 
2009-11-16 02:48:56 PM
I would still like to request voting on "mother of the year", "father of the year" and such submissions since we nominate them in headlines anyway.
 
2009-11-16 02:56:34 PM
hockeyfarker: uh, welcome to Fark, noob. it's never enough.

yeah, I shoulda seen that one coming
 
2009-11-16 02:56:55 PM
verbal711: I would still like to request voting on "mother of the year", "father of the year" and such submissions since we nominate them in headlines anyway.

Absolutely.
 
2009-11-16 03:04:32 PM
I like Drew.
 
2009-11-16 03:12:01 PM
I submitted this thread yesterday with a better headline.
 
2009-11-16 03:16:30 PM
Cyberluddite: I submitted this thread yesterday with a better headline.

I had to redlight it, it was a repeat.
 
2009-11-16 03:52:16 PM
I nominate this one:

"A quick note about the upcoming Headline of the Year contest, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/8 - 11/14"
 
2009-11-16 04:03:29 PM
How about Headline Of The Decade? Or is that supposed to happen next year?
 
2009-11-16 04:11:12 PM
I *never* look at the Sports section, but I still remember this headline from this year:

"Pats pass on past Pat Pat Pass. Past Pat Pass passed pissed."
 
2009-11-16 04:15:28 PM
The English Major: Hilarity_N_Sues: Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear

Still cracks me up.

Now I have to re-visit that thread.


Be warned, winning HOTY may seem like the fulfilment of all of your life's dreams and ambitions, but after the intial thrill of, "OMG I won something!" wears off, you're left with the realization that all you've really won is a lifetime of telling people, "No, I won't help you clean up that monologue" and "Seriously, stop telling me you'll buy me a beer when we (never) meet. Just send me the $5 and I'll buy my own." and "No, I don't think your 'Bear attack victim...' tattoo makes you look fat." Cause the next thing you know, you're on an 18-month stretch of no greenlights, trolling for TF sponsorships, and wondering why Silent auction cancelled due to lack of response isn't good enough. Am I queue-banned? Do I have BO? I mean, more than most Farkers? When is my next 'Bear' hit going to happen? When?
 
2009-11-16 04:23:55 PM
Jclark666: and wondering why Silent auction cancelled due to lack of response isn't good enough. Am I queue-banned?

Not queue banned, in fact, you were robbed. It was probably too subtle and the admin missed it. That's an awesome headline.
 
2009-11-16 04:31:14 PM
OK.

This line was popular, but it irritate me. I inquired about it in the original thread and got no satisfaction.


Cops who found magic mushroom grow house give up on counting them all, say it would be easier if the mushrooms would hold still and stop singing

Someone please explain what "..magic mushroom grow house.." makes any sense. The grammar bothers me. The lack of funny bothers me more.
 
2009-11-16 04:33:15 PM
fark.

Now the quality of my above post botheres me even more.

/Still curious, though.
 
2009-11-16 04:35:57 PM
fark.
 
2009-11-16 04:36:08 PM
Coconice: OK.

This line was popular, but it irritate me. I inquired about it in the original thread and got no satisfaction.


Cops who found magic mushroom grow house give up on counting them all, say it would be easier if the mushrooms would hold still and stop singing

Someone please explain what "..magic mushroom grow house.." makes any sense. The grammar bothers me. The lack of funny bothers me more.


"...'magic mushroom' grow-house..."
 
2009-11-16 04:37:18 PM
Coconice: OK.

This line was popular, but it irritate me. I inquired about it in the original thread and got no satisfaction.


Cops who found magic mushroom grow house give up on counting them all, say it would be easier if the mushrooms would hold still and stop singing

Someone please explain what "..magic mushroom grow house.." makes any sense. The grammar bothers me. The lack of funny bothers me more.


Google "grow house."
 
2009-11-16 04:37:58 PM
We still don't know who put the "hot" in 'hottentot', or the "ape" in "apricot," but police have captured the man who put the "semen" in "the girls locked in his basement"

I nominate this one from 07 for headline of the decade.
 
2009-11-16 04:38:18 PM
Or what Jclark666 said.
 
2009-11-16 04:54:20 PM
Coconice: OK.

This line was popular, but it irritate me. I inquired about it in the original thread and got no satisfaction.


Cops who found magic mushroom grow house give up on counting them all, say it would be easier if the mushrooms would hold still and stop singing

Someone please explain what "..magic mushroom grow house.." makes any sense. The grammar bothers me. The lack of funny bothers me more.


"Grow house" = a house used to grow mushrooms of the magic variety. If you don't understand the singing part, I'm sorry, I can't help you.
 
2009-11-16 04:56:06 PM
Barbigazi: We still don't know who put the "hot" in 'hottentot', or the "ape" in "apricot," but police have captured the man who put the "semen" in "the girls locked in his basement"

I nominate this one from 07 for headline of the decade.


Not to pick nits or anything, but there is no "ape" in APricot.
 
2009-11-16 04:58:48 PM
'Piano scam' was a wonderfully clever headline.
 
2009-11-16 04:59:14 PM
The Japanese lesbian one from 07 still cracks me up.
 
2009-11-16 05:00:56 PM
Why don't any of them end with "JUST IN TIME FOR CATURDAY?"
 
2009-11-16 05:21:41 PM
Hilarity_N_Sues I had that one made into a shirt (I like it for camping) greatest headline EVAR
 
2009-11-16 05:46:33 PM
2009 HOY nominations thread is now live
 
2009-11-16 05:52:20 PM
OurManFlint1: I had that one made into a shirt (I like it for camping) greatest headline EVAR

Y'know, I considered buying the shirt, then decided that trolling my 15 minutes on Fark is bad enough, I don't need to do it IRL. I can't tell you how weird it is to think that someone else (and probably quite a few someone elses) bought the shirt and that I may, some day, be in the awkward situation of encountering one of them.

Although, shirts sound like great prizes for this year's contest.
 
2009-11-16 05:59:23 PM
Barbigazi: We still don't know who put the "hot" in 'hottentot', or the "ape" in "apricot," but police have captured the man who put the "semen" in "the girls locked in his basement"

Terrible and wonderful.
 
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