Leonard_Cohen: Any man or woman who is serving in the military and gets divorced or is widowed during their military service and has custody of their child, should be able to opt out of the military without penalty, period.

I don't even think the Spartans would disagree with the above policy.

If the military is "hiring" soldiers who are single parents with sole custody, the military is extreemly barbaric and mideval in their thinking.

Nice use of quotes around "hiring." There is no draft. Every single soldier in the military is there because they VOLUNTEERED. Your stupid quotes won't change the facts.

Gamer Grrrl: moshpitsoccermom: The military may not pay for abortions, but they do indeed pay for birth control pills.

Remember, it's only the woman's fault for getting pregnant! Whore!

Remember a woman who's going to get sent off to war can opt to utilize that FREE military health care to prevent pregnancy.

CBR ME ASAP: yeah, and he's just saying that it sucks for every single person that signs up and is deployed. The fact that she is a single mom shouldn't get her out of the shiat that she signed up for. It's a relevant point.

The fact there is no one to take care of the child is the point...for me, this is not about the mother being shipped off...she knew what she was signing up for...

Gamer Grrrl: Remember, it's only the woman's fault for getting pregnant! Whore!

While both parties need to be responsible for birth control, the consequences traditionally lie with the woman, for obvious reasons. It's the main reason I'm ok with men being dragged through the proverbial coals in palimony and custody cases.

I just wish both men and women would have more sense to not fark unless birth control were present when they weren't 100% sure they wanted a baby out of it.

Also, the word "whore" is one of my biggest pet peeves. It's a word men use almost exclusively to control women. A woman sleeps with too many guys? She's a whore. A guy sleeps with too many women? No such thing. He's a stud. It's the 21st century, about time we have some parity with regards to sex and social consequences.

Daffydil: MayoBoy: Daffydil: Women with children should not join the military...period...

Women with periods shouldn't join the military, children.

Prolly more like:

Children! Women shouldn't join the military period!

Isn't that what you really wanted to say?

No, it's more like




Join the military with periods, women shouldn't children.

Queensowntalia: Daffydil: Women with children should not join the military...period...

What about men with children?

It's OK for them?

Well, if the men had done their parenting correctly, the kid would be totally self-sufficient and could survive in the forest for decades before being deployed. Dur.

TheHopeDiamond: Yes, it's voluntary service. Yes, she had time to set this up ahead of time.

But no, arresting her and taking the kid is the worst possible solution. There had to be a better way to handle this.

That's why I think the Army is being intentionally dickish about it. They don't HAVE to do it the way they're doing it, they're just choosing to.

The best interest of the child should come before any government contract. The child's best interest is not being met by tossing it in foster care. Whoever ordered it should be removed from duty and the service. The military should not be waging war against it's own or US children. Even if she never gave it her best effort to obtain full time long term child care. If she can't or has not meet the requirements then oust her. Her presents in the service is not significant in the grand scheme of things. The lack of basic humanity, the disregard of the sacred bonds between a parent and a child, raises my ire. History shows that a government ripping a parent from a child isn't a honorable trait. It was done to the Jews during WW2, also in Poland and other places to fair haired blue eyed children, during the dark ages, in early Rome and the middle east where they made children slaves.
Even on the side of politics such a act could severely chill finding new recruits and have a backlash toward the elected.
Every once in awhile someone may get away with one. It is not a big deal It is part of the price of our freedom.

farkreader007: HAIL TO THE LEGACY OF THE GEORGE W BUSH AND DICK CHENEY REGIME!!!!

Right, because the current president couldn't call of the war like he swore he would before he took office. Turns out, even though one president has the power to declare war without consent of congress, the Messiah can't end it with the full consent of the American people and nearly every congressman.

Gamer Grrrl: Gamer Grrrl: TheRedMonkey: Gamer Grrrl: There are 5 Planned Parenthood centers in Georgia, where she is deployed. It's very, very possible abortion wasn't an option for her.

Either way, the Army is still being a dick about the situation. They don't have to be, they are choosing to be.

If she was making a decision its not too far to drive to handle it. I doubt abortion crossed her mind. The military is not being a jerk, she could leave the child with the father. Why is that not an option?

Perhaps, like in my cousin's case or my sister-in-law's case* the father doesn't want anything to do with the kid?

*My brother ended up adopting my sister-in-law's son since the dad wasn't in the picture.

Or hell, in my Dad's case. His first wife split and hasn't seen my oldest (half) brother since he was 18 months. Sometimes there really is only one parent.

Heck, the father might have been another army dude and got killed out in East Buttfarkistan. I love how no one seems to consider that possibility. (Apologies if this actually does trigger a change in status in the army and I'm the only one who doesn't know this)

FarKnight: Here are 2 novel ideas

1) if a single mom, do not join the military
2) if in the military, do not become a single mom

/farking brilliant yea?


Even better. If you're the military, DON'T EMPLOY SINGLE PARENTS.

I mean Christ, it isn't even a huge leap for an organization that won't openly gay people to serve and bars women from service on submarines.

Gamer Grrrl: moshpitsoccermom: The military may not pay for abortions, but they do indeed pay for birth control pills.

Remember, it's only the woman's fault for getting pregnant! Whore!

Here we go. The woman gets to choose to have the baby or get an abortion, the woman gets time off to raise baby, the woman gets custody if something happens with daddy...it's the mans fault the woman got pregnant. GOT IT.

Sapper_Topo: Back some years ago they started letting females into our battallions in support roles. When we were given warning that we would be deploying to Bosnia about half ended up pregnant and thusly nondeployable... Not that its still a problem these days but damn!

/Cool story Bro?

Not unless you were the cause of at least 1/2 of those pregnancies and you go into detail. Then maybe cool story, bro.

CBR ME ASAP: yeah, and he's just saying that it sucks for every single person that signs up and is deployed. The fact that she is a single mom shouldn't get her out of the shiat that she signed up for. It's a relevant point.

I'm not a man, but thanks.

My husband came back all kinds of farked up from Iraq. But he got his shiat together and he did what he had to do.

jst3p: So my situation where we share 50% physical custody of our two kids does not meet your standards?

Nope. Of course my idea is an ideal situation. The kids I know that spent time in 50/50 custody had it rough. Moving back and forth, the parents lived far enough away from each other that they would not have friends for two weeks a month. My Mom was single for sometime as I grew up but we also had a lot of family in the area to help out but it was still difficult.

I don't think that anyone can make a valid argument that having two stable adults to raise the kids is bad.

I don't know how old your kids are or how old they were when you were separated or if you were ever married or the situation but I speak from my experiences. YMMV.

Gamer Grrrl: Remember, it's only the woman's fault for getting pregnant! Whore!

She can leave the kid with dad then! And yes its the woman's responsibility since she has to carry the child. Bet your arse if I could get pregnant I would take measure to make sure I did not.

"...that won't allow openly gay people..."


/should have double checked before posting

Jim_Callahan

Yes, but part of your military contract obligates you to have an official family care plan (someone to hand the kid to), assumably signed by all parties involved and approved by the appropriate military department.

So, yes, but the army insures that the kids are taken care of. Otherwise all a female soldier would have to do to leech benefits without doing any of the actual work would be getting knocked up. Which used to be a real problem, apparently.

See what you can learn from reading the rest of the damn thread?

Yeah, thanks for the info but, I don't see why the military should take kids away from their single and only parent.
Just don't take single parents, its plain and simple.
Why does the army have to go to such lengths to get soldiers to fight in the army?

CBR ME ASAP: Here we go. The woman gets to choose to have the baby or get an abortion, the woman gets time off to raise baby, the woman gets custody if something happens with daddy...it's the mans fault the woman got pregnant. GOT IT.

well I'm glad that one is cleared up...

upright_apes_r_us: The best interest of the child should come before any government contract. The child's best interest is not being met by tossing it in foster care. Whoever ordered it should be removed from duty and the service. The military should not be waging war against it's own or US children. Even if she never gave it her best effort to obtain full time long term child care. If she can't or has not meet the requirements then oust her. Her presents in the service is not significant in the grand scheme of things. The lack of basic humanity, the disregard of the sacred bonds between a parent and a child, raises my ire. History shows that a government ripping a parent from a child isn't a honorable trait. It was done to the Jews during WW2, also in Poland and other places to fair haired blue eyed children, during the dark ages, in early Rome and the middle east where they made children slaves.
Even on the side of politics such a act could severely chill finding new recruits and have a backlash toward the elected.
Every once in awhile someone may get away with one. It is not a big deal It is part of the price of our freedom.

If mommy signed up for the Army without considering plans for her child (Or if we take her fully at her word, and she had the kid after signing up, and in 4 years couldn't find someone to watch the child...) why are you assuming she's what's best for the child? Maybe the little girl is better off without mommy and missing daddy.

Support the troops. Bring them home.

Devin172: FarKnight: Here are 2 novel ideas

1) if a single mom, do not join the military
2) if in the military, do not become a single mom

/farking brilliant yea?


Even better. If you're the military, DON'T EMPLOY SINGLE PARENTS.

I mean Christ, it isn't even a huge leap for an organization that won't openly gay people to serve and bars women from service on submarines.

Well that's understandable. If they're like me, they probably can't find a woman who will go down with any regularity.

Sticky Hands: cowsspinach: This. As a brown girl I agree with the statemented posted above.

With the exception of the Russians, the white people were bombed into submission years ago.

Damn those whiteys.


Quantumbunny: !

the Messiah can't end it with the full consent of the American people and nearly every congressman.

Next time be clear on who you're calling the Messiah, I thought you were talking about Tim Tebow at first.



/I keed

CBR ME ASAP: Gamer Grrrl: moshpitsoccermom: The military may not pay for abortions, but they do indeed pay for birth control pills.

Remember, it's only the woman's fault for getting pregnant! Whore!

Here we go. The woman gets to choose to have the baby or get an abortion, the woman gets time off to raise baby, the woman gets custody if something happens with daddy...it's the mans fault the woman got pregnant. GOT IT.

LOL, she "gets" to choose to have an abortion. Sounds like a party!

Sumo Surfer: NewportBarGuy: Just separate her from service. It sounds like she never should have signed up anyway. The Army really needs to learn how to handle these cases before they hit the news. Yeah, that'll happen.

As much as I feel for her, it was up to her to realize what she was getting herself into before she signed on the dotted line. It's not a secret that some women will get pregnant to avoid deployment or use their kids to delay it as much as possible. I think the article intentionally leaves out a lot of information to make her seem like a victim.

THIS A dozen times over...

pwhp_67: CBR ME ASAP: That does not change the validity of my statement in the least.


Oh I know. Your statement fall apart on the word "plan" that you put in there. People who "plan" to get pregnant usually don't have any problems. It's the ones who don't plan and get knocked up by a one-night stand, their sergeant, or the jobless guy they threw a pity-fark to that have problems. Then there are the military wives who lose their husband in some foreign shiathole because the president wants to bomb some brown people...

So, you're saying that you didn't like my opinion so you changed it for me. Gotcha.

Stupid biatch joined the military expecting she'd never be deployed anywhere else in the entire world but home sweet home? And, she never considered the predicament SHE was placing her child in by being and remaining an active military member in an ALL VOLUNTEER military that she freely joined and re-upped of her own volition?

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cry me a farking river.

Dumbass ho.

Gamer Grrrl: Perhaps, like in my cousin's case or my sister-in-law's case* the father doesn't want anything to do with the kid?

Well then why did she have risky sex with the guy? Everyone knows the consequences of sex without birth control, and I hardly doubt she used it properly and it failed. If you do not want to have a kid with that person then take action about it.

Leonard_Cohen: Jim_Callahan

Yes, but part of your military contract obligates you to have an official family care plan (someone to hand the kid to), assumably signed by all parties involved and approved by the appropriate military department.

So, yes, but the army insures that the kids are taken care of. Otherwise all a female soldier would have to do to leech benefits without doing any of the actual work would be getting knocked up. Which used to be a real problem, apparently.

See what you can learn from reading the rest of the damn thread?

Yeah, thanks for the info but, I don't see why the military should take kids away from their single and only parent.
Just don't take single parents, its plain and simple.
Why does the army have to go to such lengths to get soldiers to fight in the army?

Because some jackass started a war, another jackass who came later decided not to stop the war. After all, this war is crucial to the American way of life, right? Thus sacrifices must be made.

Limp_Penis: Devin172: FarKnight: Here are 2 novel ideas

1) if a single mom, do not join the military
2) if in the military, do not become a single mom

/farking brilliant yea?


Even better. If you're the military, DON'T EMPLOY SINGLE PARENTS.

I mean Christ, it isn't even a huge leap for an organization that won't openly gay people to serve and bars women from service on submarines.

Well that's understandable. If they're like me, they probably can't find a woman who will go down with any regularity.

Says Limp_Penis...

Sobering moment here:

Just had 3 DoD notices of identified casualties come across my desk. 1 Army 2 Marines.

Lance Cpl. Shawn P. Hefner, 22, of Hico, Texas - KIA in Iraq
Staff Sgt. Stephen L. Murphy, 36, of Jaffery, N.H. - KIA in Iraq
Spc. Christopher J. Coffland, 43 - KIA in Afghanistan

Try to keep the snark to a minimum for these guys.

chemical_angel: CoughcoughVOLUNTARY SERVICEcoughcough.

THIS.

Every Soldier in the Army knows (or at least is told, if they don't pay attention it ain't my fault) that they're required to have a family care plan. The time to make that plan is well before you have actual orders. An approved plan must be filed at the unit, and is a status item that the commander must report to higher.

There are ways to deal with the unexpected, like Mom welshing on the deal, but missing movement isn't one of them. When she missed the plane, all bets were off. No sympathy.

Given this recession, she could have been some poor unemployed person who joined as a last resort in order to bring in any kind of money and get benefits for the kid.

But when the Army says "shiat," you say "Sir yes sir. How much and what color."

C-Dilly: Support the troops. Bring them home.

But if we do that the fat, rich, white people won't feel safe because we're not blowing up bad guys in other countries.

TheRedMonkey: Well then why did she have risky sex with the guy? Everyone knows the consequences of sex without birth control, and I hardly doubt she used it properly and it failed. If you do not want to have a kid with that person then take action about it.

so you've only had sex with people who you wanted to have a child with? I can see the halo now...or is that just your virginity showing?

kregh99: Given this recession, she could have been some poor unemployed person who joined as a last resort in order to bring in any kind of money and get benefits for the kid.

The article says she got knocked up after enlistment.

TheRedMonkey: jst3p: So my situation where we share 50% physical custody of our two kids does not meet your standards?

Nope. Of course my idea is an ideal situation. The kids I know that spent time in 50/50 custody had it rough. Moving back and forth, the parents lived far enough away from each other that they would not have friends for two weeks a month. My Mom was single for sometime as I grew up but we also had a lot of family in the area to help out but it was still difficult.

I don't think that anyone can make a valid argument that having two stable adults to raise the kids is bad.

I don't know how old your kids are or how old they were when you were separated or if you were ever married or the situation but I speak from my experiences. YMMV.

Of course it isn't ideal but there are plenty of two parent homes that are less than ideal for many other reasons.

Larger Than Marge: mycatisposter: Too bad that she did not have any time to arrange care for her child. I'm sure that it came as a complete surprise that she would need to do this.

Too bad you didn't have time to RTFA before sharing your wisdom.

Yes. It is too bad.

I'd think they would be a desk job somewhere they could have given her, or a hardship discharge.

TheRedMonkey: Gamer Grrrl: Perhaps, like in my cousin's case or my sister-in-law's case* the father doesn't want anything to do with the kid?

Well then why did she have risky sex with the guy? Everyone knows the consequences of sex without birth control, and I hardly doubt she used it properly and it failed. If you do not want to have a kid with that person then take action about it.

Uh, actually my cousin DID use it properly (every single day at the exact same time, within 15 minutes) and she still got pregnant. She was just meant to have a kid. And like I said earlier, the woman in the article is stationed in Georgia, which only has 5 Planned Parenthood clinics. It's very possible abortion wasn't an option for her (since the government WILL NOT perform abortions, and they won't pay for them).

I'm not at all saying she should be allowed to just stay at home and yet continue serving in the Army. It just seems to me that the Army is being particularly dickish to her when they don't have to be.

Farkwaddle: Sobering moment here:

Just had 3 DoD notices of identified casualties come across my desk. 1 Army 2 Marines.

Lance Cpl. Shawn P. Hefner, 22, of Hico, Texas - KIA in Iraq
Staff Sgt. Stephen L. Murphy, 36, of Jaffery, N.H. - KIA in Iraq
Spc. Christopher J. Coffland, 43 - KIA in Afghanistan

Try to keep the snark to a minimum for these guys.

Because nothing reduces snark like posting detailed information to fark.

Sticky Hands: Aidan: Heck, the father might have been another army dude and got killed out in East Buttfarkistan. I love how no one seems to consider that possibility. (Apologies if this actually does trigger a change in status in the army and I'm the only one who doesn't know this)

If that were the case you could bet my sweet ass that the lawyer would have brought it up.

True. It's just annoying that she's automatically a dumb whore who dropped out a kid to get out of combat when in other threads, suddenly we're all biatching about the parents who don't care enough about their own kids, etc.

Devin172:
Even better. If you're the military, DON'T EMPLOY DEPLOY SINGLE PARENTS.


FTFY

There's lots of stuff single parents can do for the Military, just not in a combat zone.

Daffydil: so you've only had sex with people who you wanted to have a child with? I can see the halo now...or is that just your virginity showing?

No but I made sure I wore a condom and mitigated the risk. Sure its not 100% but its damn close.

apacheco: borg: Thank god, Obama and the Democrats are in charge!

thank god republicans believe in pro life

Gotta have kids to put in the military when they turn 16 18. That's why they love it all the more when stupid people have kids.

Help me out here kids....

THIS =

Quantumbunny


If mommy signed up for the Army without considering plans for her child (Or if we take her fully at her word, and she had the kid after signing up, and in 4 years couldn't find someone to watch the child...) why are you assuming she's what's best for the child? Maybe the little girl is better off without mommy and missing daddy.

Why do you think that argument has any merit?
Not a single word above shows she is a unfit parent.
Foster care however has a known bad track history.

TheRedMonkey: Daffydil: so you've only had sex with people who you wanted to have a child with? I can see the halo now...or is that just your virginity showing?

No but I made sure I wore a condom and mitigated the risk. Sure its not 100% but its damn close.

Maybe that's what happened to the woman in TFA? Nah, couldn't be. She obviously just let some dude ride her bareback all night long.