If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Study from the Institute of Henpecked Husbands shows that household chores could reduce a man's sperm count, thereby giving men the perfect escape clause from housework   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 80
    More: Hero, housework, Stanford University, Coventry, Dr De-Kun Li, electromagnetic fields, Thank goodness, Shanghai  
•       •       •

6850 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2009 at 11:09 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-11-15 12:37:39 PM
Krieghund: AbbeySomeone: johm: Men having to do housework? lol. Those men probably get it in the ass from their wives every night. My wife is 8 months pregnant and she is cleaning up the house right now, cause she realizes I am a real man not a sissy like most men.

Troll?
Dick?

/undecided

Either way, in about 6 weeks his life is going to be upside down.


I seriously doubt he has a wife, and I seriously suspect he still has his virginity.
 
2009-11-15 12:42:32 PM
AbbeySomeone: I just ran full on with a visual of said incident and the ensuing consequences; and I enjoyed it.

Glad to be of service:P
 
2009-11-15 12:43:22 PM
I used to do most of the household chores when I was married because if I didn't they never got done. She didn't work (not sure what she did) but the only chore she did was to clean off the stove and her beloved toaster oven and mixer.

/one step away from the nut house now
 
2009-11-15 12:45:10 PM
I find that doing differential calculus and working out raise my testosterone levels, so if I do chores, I can just do one of those and be ready to "go".
 
2009-11-15 12:49:17 PM
HMS_Blinkin: I seriously doubt he has a wife, and I seriously suspect he still has his virginity.

I suspect he's the type of guy that buys new underwear every time he runs out of clean ones. I also suspect that one of the closets in his house is chock full of underwear with skid marks on them. So in conclusion, there is no way he can be married. No one could stick around long enough to endure the mysterious stench wafting out of his closet, that is down stairs, in his mother's basement.
 
2009-11-15 12:52:00 PM
smeegle: HMS_Blinkin: I seriously doubt he has a wife, and I seriously suspect he still has his virginity.

I suspect he's the type of guy that buys new underwear every time he runs out of clean ones. I also suspect that one of the closets in his house is chock full of underwear with skid marks on them. So in conclusion, there is no way he can be married. No one could stick around long enough to endure the mysterious stench wafting out of his closet, that is down stairs, in his mother's basement.


Dang! Zing. Many points for accuracy.
I also speculate that he has a small dick.

/just sayin'
 
2009-11-15 12:52:46 PM
eraser8: camelclub: Yeah, well.....the other day my wife told me to dust the house, so I brought in the leaf blower dusted walls, ceilings, curtains, ceiling fans...everything that was nailed down.

Don't you love it when they give you a chore that you seriously don't want to do -- and you do it really half-assed or ridiculously inappropriately and then they take the chore away from you as if that's some sort of punishment?

Maybe that only happens to me.


If you give away another of our ploys, we will come to your house and farking pull off your balls. Got it?
 
2009-11-15 12:56:37 PM
The counter argument would be that you'll save a ton on birth control by doing lots of chores. This is bad news... for married men.
 
2009-11-15 01:02:45 PM
I've got my wife out on her lawn tractor doing the leaves right now.

/I'm leaving to do the grocery shopping
//I even put a sign on her tractor that says Susan's Throne
 
2009-11-15 01:04:59 PM
AlwaysRightBoy: I've got my wife out on her lawn tractor doing the leaves right now.

/I'm leaving to do the grocery shopping
//I even put a sign on her tractor that says Susan's Throne


Yes, I know it's good coffee, because when Bonnie buys it, she buys shiat.
 
2009-11-15 01:29:17 PM
Xenolith: Verlorenes Metallgeld: Xenolith: Regardless of their ignorance of physics, if there are devices all over the farking house that have electromagnetic fields, dodging chores isn't going to help your sperm count, especially if hubby is playing X-box with a wireless controller in front of a giant screen.

That just made me wonder about carrying my cell phone in my pocket near my balls.

But I suspect that research is bunk anyway.

Well, I don't claim to be an expert in this area, but I don't see a problem, especially if you have a basic phone or turn off the transmitter/power to Blackberries or iPhones that are constantly transmitting data. Cell phone transmitters emit non-ionizing radiation, that is, radiation that does not cause harm to biological tissues, while they are in use, syncing applications, etc.

(See this handy electromagnetic frequency chart (new window)for more information.)

Cell phone radiation is slightly more powerful, that is, it has a shorter wavelength and a higher frequency, than radio waves, which we know are harmless. But cell phone radiation less powerful than mid-range microwaves. Therefore, when you're in this range, very prolonged exposure can cause slight internal heating of biological tissues in close contact. The issue is that we do not know what long-term effect heating has on very sensitive tissues. I think the greatest health issue is probably related to the waste created in cell phone parts/battery production, not the actual use of the phones themselves.


That's a very well thought out reply.

My reply was going to be something snarky along the lines of:
"It's the vibration feature you keep triggering by sending yourself 4000 texts a day to your ball-adjacent cell phone that's the bigger problem."

-F
 
2009-11-15 01:47:51 PM
Falstaff: Xenolith: Verlorenes Metallgeld: Xenolith: Regardless of their ignorance of physics, if there are devices all over the farking house that have electromagnetic fields, dodging chores isn't going to help your sperm count, especially if hubby is playing X-box with a wireless controller in front of a giant screen.

That just made me wonder about carrying my cell phone in my pocket near my balls.

But I suspect that research is bunk anyway.

Well, I don't claim to be an expert in this area, but I don't see a problem, especially if you have a basic phone or turn off the transmitter/power to Blackberries or iPhones that are constantly transmitting data. Cell phone transmitters emit non-ionizing radiation, that is, radiation that does not cause harm to biological tissues, while they are in use, syncing applications, etc.

(See this handy electromagnetic frequency chart (new window)for more information.)

Cell phone radiation is slightly more powerful, that is, it has a shorter wavelength and a higher frequency, than radio waves, which we know are harmless. But cell phone radiation less powerful than mid-range microwaves. Therefore, when you're in this range, very prolonged exposure can cause slight internal heating of biological tissues in close contact. The issue is that we do not know what long-term effect heating has on very sensitive tissues. I think the greatest health issue is probably related to the waste created in cell phone parts/battery production, not the actual use of the phones themselves.

That's a very well thought out reply.

My reply was going to be something snarky along the lines of:
"It's the vibration feature you keep triggering by sending yourself 4000 texts a day to your ball-adjacent cell phone that's the bigger problem."

-F


Hey, the trade-off is that I'm an engineer with the personality of a rock.
Whenever I finally manage to make joke, it's so obscure that no one can understand what I'm saying.
But thanks for the compliment all the same.

/Can you write me a manual teaching snarkiness?
//I'll reduce your utility bills in return :-D
 
2009-11-15 02:07:42 PM
She doesn't want your sperm, she wants your money.
 
2009-11-15 02:14:16 PM
Gothmolly: She doesn't want your sperm, she wants your money.

Well, one begets the other via an 18+ year annuity.
 
2009-11-15 02:17:35 PM
PinkoLeftist: Gothmolly: She doesn't want your sperm, she wants your money.

Well, one begets the other via an 18+ year annuity.


No amount of child support can compensate for the time and energy put into raising a child.
You are obviously childless and single, and with that attitude will remain that way.
 
2009-11-15 02:33:01 PM
I don't get it. As long as it's not complete infertility, lower sperm count = on average more sex per spawn created. What's wrong with that?
 
2009-11-15 02:55:36 PM
This excuse is, of course, completely nullified if they don't want (further) children.
 
kth
2009-11-15 03:13:24 PM
the future mr. kth has figured out that things go well for him if he sous chefs for me. some prep and assorted cleaning as I use things results in (a) fantastic dinner and (b) not having to do very many dishes so we can skip dessert and go make out. It's our diet plan. Fewer sweets and exercise.
 
2009-11-15 03:29:29 PM
johm: Men having to do housework? lol. Those men probably get it in the ass from their wives every night. My wife is 8 months pregnant and she is cleaning up the house right now, cause she realizes I am a real man not a sissy like most men.

Troll?
Dick?

/undecided


I vote for Internet Tough Guy. I wonder how long it took him to type all that while wearing those bright yellow rubber cleaning gloves.

/The little woman must be off running errands to allow him that much time unsupervised.
 
2009-11-15 03:50:16 PM
johm: Men having to do housework? lol. Those men probably get it in the ass from their wives every night. My wife is 8 months pregnant and she is cleaning up the house right now, cause she realizes I am a real man not a sissy like most men.

It's not your child though...
 
2009-11-15 03:59:39 PM
Quantum Apostrophe: johm: Men having to do housework? lol. Those men probably get it in the ass from their wives every night. My wife is 8 months pregnant and she is cleaning up the house right now, cause she realizes I am a real man not a sissy like most men.

It's not your child though...


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2009-11-15 04:19:22 PM
Brown Sauce: I won't tolerate an idle man!

moralpanic:

LOL that's awesome. We should make a pool on how long that marriage will last.



Ummm...I'm pretty sure it's satire.

Name: Jocelyn Testes-Harder = Jostling Testes Harder.

IOW, she enjoys messing with men's balls...and apparently their minds as well.
 
2009-11-15 05:43:52 PM
Well, I guess I'm probably sterile by now. I end up doing all the house chores even after a long day at work. I don't really care as long as the wife keeps putting out when I'm done. :D
 
2009-11-15 06:11:25 PM
NuclearPenguins: I do the household stuff because my girlfriend is a god damned slob.

Same here.
 
2009-11-15 07:01:40 PM
AbbeySomeone: AlwaysRightBoy: I've got my wife out on her lawn tractor doing the leaves right now.

/I'm leaving to do the grocery shopping
//I even put a sign on her tractor that says Susan's Throne

Yes, I know it's good coffee, because when Bonnie buys it, she buys shiat.



and Hazel is folding my laundry.
 
2009-11-15 07:41:48 PM
My wife recently left me. When girls come over, they ask why my place is so messy. The other day, three girls who live across the street came over and started cleaning my place without me asking. I gave them plenty of free booze, it was one of the better experiences since my wife left.

Didn't hook up with any of them, but definitely got some prospects! All thanks to a messy kitchen.
 
2009-11-16 12:30:31 AM
Knew it was too good to be true, it's just about exposure to electrical items. You could say the same thing about power tools or video games. Damn.
 
2009-11-16 11:04:05 AM
electric motors eh? like the one running the fan in your computer?

::evil laugh::
 
2009-11-16 11:30:15 AM
wow AbbeySomeone, get out of my life. (1 kid, 2 dogs, 1 husband useful outside the bedroom as well as inside)

If this is the case, then the guys need to stay out of their cars and away from the computers, Do manly things in the great outdoors hunting and bring home the meat. Since beer is so bad, better give that up too.

There is nothing more sexy than a man who wants to participate any time, anywhere. Am I right, Farkettes?
 
2009-11-16 08:07:54 PM
It's a trap! If you use the "low sperm count" defense the women will counter with the "well lets have a baby" defense.
 
Displayed 30 of 80 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report