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(USA Today)   U.S. reports largest mumps outbreak in three years. Think of it like a swine flu outbreak, but serious   (usatoday.com) divider line 154
    More: Scary, United States Reports, U.S., swine flu, outbreaks, Reader Editor Brent Jones, Centers for Disease Control  
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9949 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2009 at 1:30 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-13 09:47:18 PM  
If only there were a widely available and proven safe method of preventing mumps. If only.
 
2009-11-13 09:56:07 PM  
Best headline today.

+1


/the autism saved me from mumps
//AND MEASLES!!
(definitely)
 
2009-11-13 09:59:52 PM  
Mumps used to be a normal childhood illness. Yes, it's uncomfortable, yes it's scary for the parents. But it's not like the kid has HIV or cancer. It's mumps.

Better they get it now that later in life, that's for sure. Friend of mine got it in his 30's and WISHED it would kill him.

Sheesh.
 
2009-11-13 10:04:53 PM  
granolasteak: Mumps used to be a normal childhood illness. Yes, it's uncomfortable, yes it's scary for the parents. But it's not like the kid has HIV or cancer. It's mumps.

Mumps viral infections in adolescent and adult males carry an up to 30% risk that the testes may become infected (orchitis or epididymitis), which can be quite painful; about half of these infections result in testicular atrophy, and in rare cases sterility can follow.


Hooray 1 in 3 chance of painful swelling of the testicles! Even more hooray for a 1 in 6 chance that they'll also atrophy!
 
2009-11-13 10:16:35 PM  
i729.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-13 10:18:55 PM  
What's this about a meeps outbreak?
 
2009-11-13 10:19:15 PM  
Ghastly: What's this about a meeps outbreak?

It's MOOPS!
 
2009-11-13 10:20:06 PM  
This calls for Gaussian elimination.
 
2009-11-13 10:20:39 PM  
Gecko Gingrich: If only there were a widely available and proven safe method of preventing mumps. If only.

Should have been in the headline.
 
2009-11-13 10:22:22 PM  
In 3 years?
Please.
 
2009-11-13 10:25:03 PM  
I'll be interested to see if this is in any way related to those twits who refuse to vaccinate their children.
 
2009-11-13 10:25:04 PM  
So this would be morons who didn't vaccinate their children? Aren't MMR vaccines some of the first kids usually get?
 
2009-11-13 10:56:01 PM  
I don't vaccinate my children because that would upset Mother Gaia. I then use Crystals on their Chakras and act like the 20 different religious practices I'm following somehow connect and are scientifically valid.
 
2009-11-13 11:05:32 PM  
www.hairfinder.com
 
2009-11-13 11:08:01 PM  
I had mumps as a kid (and had my vaccinations)... it was kind of fun having half my face swell up like a balloon.
 
2009-11-14 12:58:43 AM  
Meh. Had mumps when I was 4. I'm an immune bastard now. Though my hands felt just like two baloons.
 
2009-11-14 01:03:00 AM  
They say if you get mumps as a kid you don't get 'em as an adult. But if you get 'em as an adult, you don't get kids.

Take THAT you little home-wreckers!

/an internet cookie to the first who gets the reference.
 
2009-11-14 01:18:46 AM  
I was lucky enough to have had mumps, measles and chicken pox within a three month period. And all in the summer, so I didn't miss one day of school. :-(
 
2009-11-14 01:34:53 AM  
Wonder if this is next for my non-vaccinating neighbors. They currently all have whooping cough. Like, Pertussis proper. It sounds like a dog kennel in there.
 
2009-11-14 01:37:16 AM  
Sounds like the Doomsday Whistle! Aint been blown for nigh onto three years.
 
2009-11-14 01:38:21 AM  
PantsPie: Wonder if this is next for my non-vaccinating neighbors. They currently all have whooping cough. Like, Pertussis proper. It sounds like a dog kennel in there.

Just think what it would sound like if they were all autistic.

Like a kennel with The People's Court 24/7
 
2009-11-14 01:39:07 AM  
GAT_00: So this would be morons who didn't vaccinate their children? Aren't MMR vaccines some of the first kids usually get?

I vaccinated my daughter right on schedule...she still got the mumps. The look of fear on the Dr's face when the test results came back was priceless. His eyes got huge as saucers and he just walked out of the room without saying a word. The nurse had to explain to me why. We both giggled.
 
2009-11-14 01:40:37 AM  
EighthundredmillionthFarker: PantsPie: Wonder if this is next for my non-vaccinating neighbors. They currently all have whooping cough. Like, Pertussis proper. It sounds like a dog kennel in there.

Just think what it would sound like if they were all autistic.

Like a kennel with The People's Court 24/7


And every once in a while, you hear "HOT WATER BURN BABY!"
 
2009-11-14 01:40:56 AM  
PantsPie: Wonder if this is next for my non-vaccinating neighbors. They currently all have whooping cough. Like, Pertussis proper. It sounds like a dog kennel in there.


I swear, anti-vax people need to be put on a watch list so we can board them up in their farking homes when they inevitably fall ill. Much like how they used to treat plague victims during the Black Death.
 
2009-11-14 01:44:22 AM  
"fertility-diminishing swollen testicles"

Not nearly as nice as fertility-enhancing swollen testicles.
 
2009-11-14 01:44:48 AM  
Gecko Gingrich: painful swelling of the testicles

There's another kind?
 
2009-11-14 01:46:54 AM  
I was really surprised that the crazy hippies didn't at least come over to let me know that they all tend to catch random viruses that everyone else has been vaccinated for. In case I get pregnant, or something. Don't want to expose my potential snowflakes to their diseases.

/shudder
 
2009-11-14 01:47:36 AM  
Notabunny: There's another kind?

Oh, yes...yes there is.

/Yes Mistress, I've been bad.
 
2009-11-14 01:55:25 AM  
PantsPie: I was really surprised that the crazy hippies didn't at least come over to let me know that they all tend to catch random viruses that everyone else has been vaccinated for. In case I get pregnant, or something. Don't want to expose my potential snowflakes to their diseases.

/shudder


You can't get pregnant with a virus, you need sperms. If they catch sperms though, tie a knot in your vagina tube.
 
2009-11-14 01:57:57 AM  
Karmacidal: GAT_00: So this would be morons who didn't vaccinate their children? Aren't MMR vaccines some of the first kids usually get?

I vaccinated my daughter right on schedule...she still got the mumps. The look of fear on the Dr's face when the test results came back was priceless. His eyes got huge as saucers and he just walked out of the room without saying a word. The nurse had to explain to me why. We both giggled.


Ok, well explain why then.
 
2009-11-14 01:58:14 AM  
From MASH:

Klinger: If you have mumps as a kid, you don't get it as an adult.
If you get it as an adult, you don't get kids!
 
2009-11-14 01:59:41 AM  
colatf: PantsPie: I was really surprised that the crazy hippies didn't at least come over to let me know that they all tend to catch random viruses that everyone else has been vaccinated for. In case I get pregnant, or something. Don't want to expose my potential snowflakes to their diseases.

/shudder

You can't get pregnant with a virus, you need sperms. If they catch sperms though, tie a knot in your vagina tube.


Sir, I am a nursing student, and am relatively sure they CLAMP the vagina tubes when sperms get in them. FYI.
 
2009-11-14 02:01:20 AM  
oldebayer: I was lucky enough to have had mumps, measles and chicken pox within a three month period. And all in the summer, so I didn't miss one day of school. :-(

Goddamn, and you were probably old enough to have had a chance at smallpox as well.

I was fortunate enough to get scarlet fever twice. That may or may not explain my subsequent lifelong bipolar disorder, but it certainly explains why I hate doctors and needles with all my heart.
 
2009-11-14 02:08:31 AM  
Thanks Mom for all those shots, except for the tetanus shot. That one hurt like a biatch.
 
2009-11-14 02:09:15 AM  
oldebayer: I was lucky enough to have had mumps, measles and chicken pox within a three month period.

Jeez. I'd hate to see you on an unlucky day.

I had chicken pox when I was 40. I'm sure there are more painful experiences to be had in the pantheon of human farkupedness. I just don't know what they could be. I can't imagine how much fun you had with mumps and measles piled on top.

Let me know when you're in Elk Grove and I'll wheel you into a pub and pour a beer into your feeding tube.
 
2009-11-14 02:13:40 AM  
If only there was some sort of system that would universally eliminate the risk of mumps for everyone...
 
2009-11-14 02:13:45 AM  
Karmacidal: GAT_00: So this would be morons who didn't vaccinate their children? Aren't MMR vaccines some of the first kids usually get?

I vaccinated my daughter right on schedule...she still got the mumps. The look of fear on the Dr's face when the test results came back was priceless. His eyes got huge as saucers and he just walked out of the room without saying a word. The nurse had to explain to me why. We both giggled.


You can probably blame the anti-vaxxers for her catching the mumps. Vaccines don't always take, but generally we're all safe because everybody around us has had all their shots, but that's not exactly true anymore.
 
2009-11-14 02:14:52 AM  
+1 to Subby because it got a chuckle out of me
 
2009-11-14 02:15:46 AM  
Thanks Jenny for spreading stupidity and welcoming the return of preventable diseases
http://www.jennymccarthybodycount.com
 
2009-11-14 02:16:17 AM  
Even with vacinnes you can still get whatever you are being vacinnated against but its usually not as severe.

Why risk your kids getting it?

It really pisses me off when parents don't vacinnate thier kids though, as they are more likely to catch things like the mumps and spread them to others.

Personally I think that if you don't vacinnate your kids they shouldn't be allowed in school, PERIOD. The schools here make a big tadoo about vacination exclusion day and telling us your kids won't be allowed to go to school after a certain date, blah blah blah, yet all you have to do is claim religious beliefs and sign something and you can get around it. Its also totally stupid that the exclusion date is in January. So the kids can go to school for 3 months and spread things like this for months them BAM all of a sudden they enforce the vacination rules @@
 
2009-11-14 02:19:14 AM  
My mom once said she got mumps on one side of her face. Is that even possible?
 
2009-11-14 02:20:10 AM  
i.ytimg.com

/hotter than Stewie's Jackass II gas
 
2009-11-14 02:20:27 AM  
PantsPie: colatf: PantsPie: I was really surprised that the crazy hippies didn't at least come over to let me know that they all tend to catch random viruses that everyone else has been vaccinated for. In case I get pregnant, or something. Don't want to expose my potential snowflakes to their diseases.

/shudder

You can't get pregnant with a virus, you need sperms. If they catch sperms though, tie a knot in your vagina tube.

Sir, I am a nursing student, and am relatively sure they CLAMP the vagina tubes when sperms get in them. FYI.


No I did some research at the deli, I asked the guy there, and he said they fill the baby bag with swamp water and then tie a knot in the chute, so that the sperms turn into frogs and get stuck in the Macedonian tubes.

I know anecdote does not = data but then otherwise how do explain women with dead frogs in their utilities?
 
2009-11-14 02:20:49 AM  
The thing that gets me is that I know several people who legitimately couldn't get vaccinated due to health concerns. One of my cousins had a severe reaction to the MMR shot and couldn't finish the series, another cousin has an autoimmune disease and couldn't be vaccinated because all of the steroids he was on put him at too much risk of catching the diseases. The people who refuse to vaccinate their perfectly healthy children are putting people like my cousins who couldn't be safely vaccinated at risk.
 
2009-11-14 02:22:10 AM  
Gyrfalcon: My mom once said she got mumps on one side of her face. Is that even possible?

Prolly not. But it reminds me of something my grandfather said when I was a kid. I was griping because my bike had a flat tire. My grandfather said, "Well, it's only flat on one side"

/still makes me laugh
//easily amused
 
2009-11-14 02:26:14 AM  
Isn't the MMR vaccine required in most schools now?
 
2009-11-14 02:29:07 AM  
colatf: PantsPie: colatf: PantsPie: I was really surprised that the crazy hippies didn't at least come over to let me know that they all tend to catch random viruses that everyone else has been vaccinated for. In case I get pregnant, or something. Don't want to expose my potential snowflakes to their diseases.

/shudder

You can't get pregnant with a virus, you need sperms. If they catch sperms though, tie a knot in your vagina tube.

Sir, I am a nursing student, and am relatively sure they CLAMP the vagina tubes when sperms get in them. FYI.

No I did some research at the deli, I asked the guy there, and he said they fill the baby bag with swamp water and then tie a knot in the chute, so that the sperms turn into frogs and get stuck in the Macedonian tubes.

I know anecdote does not = data but then otherwise how do explain women with dead frogs in their utilities?


I am doing something SO wrong.
 
2009-11-14 02:29:08 AM  
this makes me stabby:

Link (new window)
 
2009-11-14 02:33:21 AM  
I don't understand people who are:

a) Reluctant to give "Big Pharma" $5 for a vaccine shot, but will gladly spend thousands a year at Wal-Mart, eat at McDonalds, and guzzle Starbucks.

b) Will imbibe alcohol and eat canned tuna, but be "concerned" over the chemicals contained in a vaccine being similar in composition to anti-freeze and mercury or whatever they're claiming now.

c) Worry that these vaccines are "improperly tested" when they don't know shiat about science to be able to tell the difference. This specific vaccine didn't get put through the same types of clinical trials as say, AZT. What the fark does that even mean to you? You put your life in the hands of engineers and scientists every damn day, but OH NO! NOT WITH TEH MEDICINES!!! You'll gladly hop into a BMW 3 Series with an automatic transmission, but OH NO stay away from that 3 Series Manual! It wasn't the model that was put through crash testing!

STFU, take the damn shot, and put your worry energies behind something that matters... like snowflake's math scores.
 
2009-11-14 02:34:09 AM  
Notabunny

Two of my siblings and I all got the mumps on one side. My other sister had huge swelling on one side then a week later, a small knot on the other.
 
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