Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   CNN points out the obvious: Hicks who rarely fly make it take 20 minutes for the rest of us to get on and off the plane   (cnn.com) divider line 188
    More: Obvious, CNN, frequent flyers, Yahoo, United Airlines, Virgin America, discussion boards, online discussions, holidays  
•       •       •

17858 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2009 at 11:56 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



188 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-11-14 01:21:04 AM  
Some jackhole wanted to start a fight with me regarding overhead storage space once.

Apparently I asked - politely - a woman two rows down if I could move her bag to a smaller space where it would fit so I could stow my larger bag. She said "yes" on the grounds that I be careful, which I complied with, treating the bag as if it contained an actual baby. Moments later the man I wound up sitting next to accused me of taking the space meant for him. You know, the space I did all the "work" clearing, and now he wanted it.

He then spent about five minutes asking if I'd like anything else of his (e.g., his blanket, complimentary beverage, etc.) I smiled and politely told him that it was a redeye and I wasn't really in the mood to start shiat at 12:30am on a Thursday. I think that just made him angrier.

(And that space WAS mine. If he wanted it that badly he could've asked the bag's owner his damn self.)
 
2009-11-14 01:24:58 AM  
xsarien: He then spent about five minutes asking if I'd like anything else of his (e.g., his blanket, complimentary beverage, etc.) I smiled and politely told him that it was a redeye and I wasn't really in the mood to start shiat at 12:30am on a Thursday. I think that just made him angrier.


That's what headphones are for. The minute I sit down I put on my noise-canceling, around-the-ear headphones and tune the world out, taking them off momentarily while the plane takes off. Unless I'm next to a hot girl, I put the headphones on immediately and broadcast a "don't f*cking talk to me" message loud-and-clear for the duration of the flight.
 
2009-11-14 01:25:59 AM  
At least airlines don't charge for gate-checked bags. Otherwise the rush to get on board would be pretty brutal.

I do really wish they would better enforce the rules for carry-on size though. I hate it when somebody takes up half the overhead bin because they had to put their bag in sideways, and that causes me to have to put my bag five rows back.
 
2009-11-14 01:25:59 AM  
I fly so often I rarely carry any bags at all. Nothing freaks security and customs like an international passenger without so much as a newspaper.
 
2009-11-14 01:27:42 AM  
I have a slight touch of claustrophobia. I don't mind boarding (because I always pay extra to be able to board first) and I don't mind being in flight. But I hate deboarding the plane. I often feel like punching people in the head and walking over them.

I have never done that, but my anxiety gets really high.

A few weeks ago I was in an elevator. I was the first person in. Then 4 more people walked in, no problem. Then somebody held the door open and six more people walked in. Now I began to panic. I was closed in and confined to one corner of the elevator. What if it stopped between floors? I would have only these few square feet of space to survive in while we hoped we would be rescued. I would absolutely freak out. I might have resorted to killing people in the elevator to make sure they didn't steal my air. That's how freaked out I would get.
 
2009-11-14 01:31:49 AM  
I think the worst passenger experience I had was flying to India a few years ago. The flight there was bad enough because it was like 2 weeks after the London tube bombings and they were paranoid about brown people or something and wouldn't let anybody off the plane during the refueling stop in London. The flight back was worse because while they let us off the plane in London, when it came time to re-board, the idiot chavs all dashed for the gate even though they announced over and over again that the people who were continuing on from Delhi were supposed to board first. My sister and I had to fight our way through a crowd of chavs to get in line (I swear, dumbass Brits are worse than American dumbasses), and then when one of them overheard me mumbling to my sister about people not being able to follow directions, they interrupted and blamed it on it being an Indian flight (even though it was all of the chav hicks that weren't following directions, like the person who overheard me).

/Anyway, that's my dumb passenger rant for the day.
 
2009-11-14 01:39:10 AM  
Hicks? maybe non fliers or dicks in general...some of my worst experiences were at JFK.

/flies all over the country
 
2009-11-14 01:39:41 AM  
I never check a bag unless I'm staying for over five days. It's not so bad.
-Try not to use one of those carry-ons that are advertised as the maximum allowed size. They rarely fit into the overheads. Traveling was much easier when I bought a smaller, hard case from Brookstone. It was a bit pricey, but it's been all over the country and never caused me any problems.
-Separate your liquids into a quart plastic bag before you get to the airport- one bag and no containers over 3 oz.
-Take off your shoes, coat and belt as soon as they check your boarding pass. If you must wear jewelry or a watch, take it off in the security line and place it in your coat pocket or an easy access spot in your carry-on.
-Keep you laptop and baggie of liquids in an easily accessible spot in your carry-on when you go through security.
-Your laptop needs to be in its own bin. Make sure to grab enough bins when you go through the line. You will need at least two for your laptop and shoes.
-Push your own bags through the belt.
-If you have liquid medicine that you need to keep with you, you need to have the proper documents with you.
-No, you cannot keep your starbucks, 7 oz. bottle of aftershave, and pocket knife with you. Yes, you need to take off your shoes. It sucks and we all know it. Stop complaining.
 
2009-11-14 01:51:38 AM  
Oh this is great...

We fly a good deal for racing.

Our F1 cars and gear get transported, and we fly to the tracks.

So Girl Wonder and I are flying out of San Francisco to Wisconsin so we can race at Road America. A friend of mine has told me to stick this on the back of my license (new window)...

We run into the most bull-dyke looking TSA guard right off the bat you can imagine. She's literally Pvt. Vasquez from Aliens. She grabs my license, looks it over... flips it over, sees what is on the back... looks at me and just sighs and waives me on.

She looks at Girl Wonder behind me (new window), looks her up and down and says, "You got one of those stickers on your license as well?" yet somehow it came out like... "I want to wear you like a wristwatch."

It was all I could do not to laugh my ass off, biting my lip. Girl Wonder shot me a nasty look and said, "No..." Vasquez looks dejected and sends us on our merry way.

I got my ass kicked later.
 
2009-11-14 01:51:51 AM  
i1002.photobucket.com

I just hate it when I get stuck next to a hick on a plane and they order the possum as their in-flight meal.
 
2009-11-14 01:56:17 AM  
archeochick: I never check a bag unless I'm staying for over five days. It's not so bad.
-Try not to use one of those carry-ons that are advertised as the maximum allowed size. They rarely fit into the overheads. Traveling was much easier when I bought a smaller, hard case from Brookstone. It was a bit pricey, but it's been all over the country and never caused me any problems.


I try to avoid checking bags, period. I have a soft sided Tumi bag with no wheels but that has convertible backpack straps that make it easier if you have to make a mad dash from one side of an airport to the other. It was definitely pricey but I like it because it's not too big to be unwieldy, it looks and is shaped like a normal standard carry-on, but because it's soft sided, if I have to jam something bigger in it it has some give that more structured bags don't have.

The thing that always gets me with airport security is that on more than one occasion I've gone through screening with water still in my stainless steel water bottle because I forgot to drink it before getting in line, but because screeners can't see inside it, I've never been questioned. When I traveled with a see-through Nalgene bottle, they'd always double check to make sure it was empty before letting me through.
 
2009-11-14 01:56:52 AM  
EighthundredmillionthFarker: Gotta give credit to the people who stand up as soon as they can when the plane lands and think they can pull down their 2 oversized carryons, then get ahead of 27 rows of passengers and be the first ones out... credit for being the biggest douchebags, of course.

Yeah, well, when I have to cross three terminals in 10 minutes to catch my connecting flight because we were late to land, I'm going to fight for every inch. You'll get over it.
 
2009-11-14 02:01:21 AM  
Mentat: EighthundredmillionthFarker: Gotta give credit to the people who stand up as soon as they can when the plane lands and think they can pull down their 2 oversized carryons, then get ahead of 27 rows of passengers and be the first ones out... credit for being the biggest douchebags, of course.

Yeah, well, when I have to cross three terminals in 10 minutes to catch my connecting flight because we were late to land, I'm going to fight for every inch. You'll get over it.


I'll have my bags down, standing in the aisle, waiting my turn, and, best of all, blocking your dumb ass.

You'll get over it.
 
2009-11-14 02:05:05 AM  
T.M.S.: I fly so often I rarely carry any bags at all. Nothing freaks security and customs like an international passenger without so much as a newspaper.

That is unusual. How does one pull that off?
 
2009-11-14 02:06:28 AM  
Virgin is dumb for letting people with no carry on bags go first. They should let the people with no carry on bags go last, then let them off first.
 
2009-11-14 02:07:16 AM  
i34.tinypic.com
 
2009-11-14 02:09:02 AM  
EighthundredmillionthFarker: I'll have my bags down, standing in the aisle, waiting my turn, and, best of all, blocking your dumb ass.

Isn't that behavior exactly what you're biatching about?
 
2009-11-14 02:11:53 AM  
Mentat: EighthundredmillionthFarker: I'll have my bags down, standing in the aisle, waiting my turn, and, best of all, blocking your dumb ass.

Isn't that behavior exactly what you're biatching about?


No, because I wait until the aisle in front of me are cleared. Except, of course, for people waiting for friends/family in further aisles.
 
2009-11-14 02:14:06 AM  
Mentat: The greatest reform to come out of 9/11 was keeping non-passengers behind the security gates. My Boobies 9/11 flight was like a vacation in the terminal.

One thing I wish they'd never gone back to after 9/11: Letting dumbass people drop passengers off at the curb. I flew out of LAX about 2 weeks after 9/11, and they (rather sensibly) were not allowing private vehicles on airport property. You parked in one of the remote lots and the shuttles took you to the terminal. It actually cut the time getting to the gates; because LAX is generally choked with crazy people, crazy taxi drivers, crazy shuttle drivers, crazy bus drivers, all swerving and lunging in and out of the loading zones.

There was no reason to go back to the old method, either. They did it for about six or 8 months, IIRC, and the only ones complaining were the dummies who can't manage to get to the airport on time anyway.
 
Ral
2009-11-14 02:14:32 AM  
Crosshair: My boss likes to ship his luggage via UPS rather than check it with the airline. Then just take a small carry on with him on the plane.

This is starting to catch on. I know people who ship their luggage ahead of them to their destination whenever possible. Hotels will usually be accommodating about it.

And if you fly United, you can have your luggage FedEx'ed right from the airport.
 
2009-11-14 02:14:53 AM  
EighthundredmillionthFarker: Mentat: EighthundredmillionthFarker: I'll have my bags down, standing in the aisle, waiting my turn, and, best of all, blocking your dumb ass.

Isn't that behavior exactly what you're biatching about?

No, because I wait until the aisle in front of me are cleared. Except, of course, for people waiting for friends/family in further aisles.


Well, you just keep raging against the machine big guy. You haven't made me miss a connection yet, so you might want to work on your technique.
 
2009-11-14 02:15:58 AM  
moike: She looks at Girl Wonder behind me (new window), looks her up and down and says, "You got one of those stickers on your license as well?" yet somehow it came out like... "I want to wear you like a wristwatch."

Girl wonder has absolutely fantastic knockers, you attention whore.
 
2009-11-14 02:16:58 AM  
Mentat: EighthundredmillionthFarker: Mentat: EighthundredmillionthFarker: I'll have my bags down, standing in the aisle, waiting my turn, and, best of all, blocking your dumb ass.

Isn't that behavior exactly what you're biatching about?

No, because I wait until the aisle in front of me are cleared. Except, of course, for people waiting for friends/family in further aisles.

Well, you just keep raging against the machine big guy. You haven't made me miss a connection yet, so you might want to work on your technique.


So what's your method, then? Shoving and pushing your way out of the plane because your business is more important than everyone else's?? Stay classy.
 
2009-11-14 02:20:36 AM  
lockers: Girl wonder has absolutely fantastic knockers, you attention whore.

Keep in mind she may have pancake nipples though.
 
2009-11-14 02:21:19 AM  
EighthundredmillionthFarker: So what's your method, then? Shoving and pushing your way out of the plane because your business is more important than everyone else's?? Stay classy.

Oh Jesus, lighten up Francis. I don't actually knock anybody out of the way, there isn't even enough room on the plane to do that. But I also don't waste time either. I choose my seat wisely and I pack lightly so I'm the first one out anyway.

And yes, my time is more valuable.
 
2009-11-14 02:28:44 AM  
Side request: please don't take the "expert traveler" lane at the security checkpoint if you are not, in fact, an expert traveler.
 
2009-11-14 02:33:54 AM  
drewkumo: bobbarker02: People who live in red, flyover states are stupid and useless, and the world would be better off without them.

Yeah, let the chinese grow all of our food.

/flys with a backpack, nothing else.


They'll be responsible for all of our innovation in technical sectors by the time we're done fixing health care by not actually fixing it, may as well have them take care of the food as well. China will be to America as America is today to France. (Not Europe, just one part of it.) Americans just don't understand that yet.
 
2009-11-14 02:40:41 AM  
FTA: "Business travelers never want to check a bag; they want to get off the plane and go," said Seth Miller

wow, so it isn't just poor whites destroying out society. subby and the modmins must be so disappointed.
 
2009-11-14 02:44:30 AM  
out our

/Maker's Mark
 
2009-11-14 02:47:43 AM  
Mentat: EighthundredmillionthFarker: Gotta give credit to the people who stand up as soon as they can when the plane lands and think they can pull down their 2 oversized carryons, then get ahead of 27 rows of passengers and be the first ones out... credit for being the biggest douchebags, of course.

Yeah, well, when I have to cross three terminals in 10 minutes to catch my connecting flight because we were late to land, I'm going to fight for every inch. You'll get over it.


If the flight is late, let the flight attendant know you have a connection about 30-45 min before the plane lands and try to remind if they walk by when the plane enters descent and they collect trash. On late flights, they'll usually make an announcement and let passengers with connections off first.
 
2009-11-14 02:59:09 AM  
drewkumo: bobbarker02: People who live in red, flyover states are stupid and useless, and the world would be better off without them.

Yeah, let the chinese grow all of our food.

/flys with a backpack, nothing else.


as do i
 
2009-11-14 03:01:01 AM  
MPOM: They'll be responsible for all of our innovation in technical sectors by the time we're done fixing health care by not actually fixing it, may as well have them take care of the food as well. China will be to America as America is today to France. (Not Europe, just one part of it.) Americans just don't understand that yet.

That comparison just isn't true, America has the most sophisticated military in the world. Plus we have 10 Nimitz class aircraft carriers, no other nation even has 1 carrier that size. We will still be powerful enough militarily that China can't throw its weight around.

As if healthcare reform is the real reason that this is occurring. You're telling me that you don't see a pattern? The US was an agricultural nation, then an industrial, now we are largely technological/medical/innovative. Aside from the military/industrial complex our medical system is probably the largest industry. Hell, it might even be bigger than military industry.

There's no way we could produce like China does and maintain an "American" standard of living. Its not possible, for the same reason many countries couldn't compete with us. We worked longer hours than most of Europe for decades, and we still do.

Just an anecdote, a Scottish guy came to my town as part of an exchange program. We were sitting outside having a drink, and he asked about the noise downtown. I told him it was a glass plant. He asked me when it shut down.

There is just a cultural difference. The Chinese work even longer, for less money than we do.

So what do you suggest we invest in if its not healthcare?
 
2009-11-14 03:12:14 AM  
LAX
The big airport with the most clueless travelers.
Superjumbo dufflebags and gazillions of people trying to take water/juice through security.
 
2009-11-14 03:21:30 AM  
i really don't understand.. its so easy. pack 2 pairs of jeans, a few shirts, toiletries in a clear bag (small ones). one suit bag (foldover).. connect them together and you have a bag small enough to simply fit under the seat in front of you. if you want to get really froggy bring your laptop.

its just too easy.
 
2009-11-14 03:23:09 AM  
I've been on 7 flights in the past week and they all went pretty smoothly due to my decision to just have one small carry-on bag. It's a soft-sided bag - more of a fancy gym bag than anything. I shove in under the seat in front of me and don't have to bother with the overhead bin nightmare.

I do have short stumpy legs though. It might not work for more long limbed flyers.

/I did mess up at one security screening. I forgot a bottle of water I had bought just before boarding a previous flight. Got the whole bag very carefully searched and lost my sample-size toothpaste for some reason, but no biggie.
 
2009-11-14 03:39:43 AM  
Petit_Merdeux: Christ on a stick! If you're so important, fly on a private plane, get upgraded or STFU.

Modern air travel is the equivalent of the bus now. It sucks. Get used to it.


You're referring to the people who take 30 minutes to gather up their luggage while holding up 350 other people from getting off the plane, I'm sure.

Hey, there are other flights to catch and there are cigarettes to smoke, get the fark out of my way.

I was polite and didn't smoke anything while I sat next to your fat ass and your kid who wouldn't stop screaming the whole way to gramma's house. Sit the fark down while people who are ready to get off the plane de-plane.

/mostly kidding

I'm not kidding - not even remotely.
 
2009-11-14 04:47:34 AM  
moike: She looks at Girl Wonder behind me (new window)

Oh my sweet lord.
 
2009-11-14 04:52:04 AM  
God forbid people should actually be patient about it.
 
2009-11-14 04:59:19 AM  
boarding schemes -- window seats first, back to front, zones -- all seem to work equally poorly. Oddly, "cattle call" boarding seems to be the most efficient, he said.

Reading that made me sad, I always thought "window seats first, back to front" would be a dream.
 
2009-11-14 05:21:42 AM  
What I can't stand: SIT DOWN. Jesus H Christ, people. The plane just reached the terminal, why does every single person in every single row need to stand up at the same time and hover over me. Standing there under the overhead with your head all crooked and hunched over just dying to get off that plane.

Yeah, it was a long crappy flight, I can't wait to get off the damn plane either, but standing up and waiting for the 24 rows in front of you deplane is retarded. Sit the fark down and read your book while the plane unloads. They won't forget about you.


Same goes for boarding. I had to keep telling my mom to sit the hell down because she wanted to GET IN LINE to get on the plane. I had to assure here repeatedly that we would not somehow lose our seats, nor would the plane sneak away without us noticing.


Also, if you're a 8' tall chimpanzee and you see my 5'4" stumpy self struggling to reach my bag that managed to shift to the back of the overhead and wedge itself behind your bag, offer some freaking help unless you enjoy my bellybutton in your face.

Ditto for crowding the carousel and watching some poor little old lady struggle to grab her bag through a sea of bodies. Is it so hard to grab a bag for someone when you see them chasing it?

I think a little common courtesy would go a LONG way in making flying more pleasant.



/and how many times do you pervs need to wand my bra. It's a farking bra, get over it already. I don't have a semiautomatic in there.
 
2009-11-14 05:43:33 AM  
drewkumo: Just an anecdote, a Scottish guy came to my town as part of an exchange program. We were sitting outside having a drink, and he asked about the noise downtown. I told him it was a glass plant. He asked me when it shut down.

What does this mean?
 
2009-11-14 05:46:40 AM  
"Wait until everyone's bags are stowed, then lay your coat on top."

This. God, that is so annoying when someone puts theirs in there, wastes tons of space, then freaks out if anyone tries to slip something under or even near it.
 
2009-11-14 05:48:10 AM  
Geekyspice mentioned it but one of my favorite spectator sports is watching people stand up to line up even when it's clear that they can't all be sitting in the rows called. This is especially great on carriers with split classes and watching bozos try to board with the business class line. The seats are assigned people, they aren't going to give it away without you realizing it. Am I the only one who sees the last few moments of stretched legs as a gift?
 
2009-11-14 05:57:17 AM  
FAIL. 'Normal' dumbshiats have been carrying on two suiters since the airlines started making baggage a revenue stream. The gate personnel rarely enforce the carryon size limit, and once the shiat is on the plane, it's stuff it in the bin anyway time. And, nobody does the 'under the seat' thing. Interestingly, this crap happens even on carriers who don't buttfark you with baggage charges.

/it's not news...
 
2009-11-14 06:07:35 AM  
I've found flights are easier when I don't bring a carry on or if I do, just a small thin one like my lap top case. That way its under the seat in front of me (which is always an aisle) and the second that plane stops, I'm on my feet racing down the aisles and out many times before first class. Yeah, I'm the hick that won't let everyone deplane row by row.

Anyway - no carry on means less hassle planing and deplaning, less worry in the airport. Yeah, I'll pay the checked bag fee and I've never lost a bag. Did have a box of crappy Lipton tea stolen from one, but I think maybe the agent thought it might have been pot or something. I've never lost anything of value.
 
2009-11-14 06:25:04 AM  
drewkumo: lockers: Girl wonder has absolutely fantastic knockers, you attention whore.

Keep in mind she may have pancake nipples though.


...............

If you look at that picture and say to yourself 'meh...I dunno, she might have pancake nipples'. YOU ARE TOTALLY GAY FOR THE PENIS. MOTHERFARKING FACT.

I mean, it's cool and all if you are. But stop talking about pictures of women like you have anything to contribute on the subject.
 
2009-11-14 06:53:41 AM  
The row-by-row deplaning makes me nuts. Why do americans feel the need to do it? I think they think it's rude to not wait for the person in front of them. If you're ready to go, politely sidestep the rube in front of you and be on your way. It literally serializes de-planing to where the slowness of each person is taken into full account.

A simple announcement would solve this "If you think you will require additional time to gather your belongings as you de-plane, Please remain in your seat and allow those who are ready to exit before you." Sometimes that's all people need is that little nudge in the right direction.
 
2009-11-14 06:57:46 AM  
geekyspice: .... unless you enjoy my bellybutton in your face.

Clicks profile.........yes, I think I would enjoy your bellybutton in my face. Pierced?

/Kidding
//Mostly
///Also very jealous of where you grew up.
 
2009-11-14 07:08:54 AM  
I haven't had to fly in 13 years, thank the FSM. I have a feeling I'd be considered a "hick", but some of you farkers sound like real assholes. So I guess we all win by me not flying.
 
2009-11-14 07:13:26 AM  
brigid_fitch:

Where did you score that photo of Peg and Bud Bundy in your profile? Nice!
 
Displayed 50 of 188 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report