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(CNN)   CNN points out the obvious: Hicks who rarely fly make it take 20 minutes for the rest of us to get on and off the plane   (cnn.com) divider line 188
    More: Obvious, CNN, frequent flyers, Yahoo, United Airlines, Virgin America, discussion boards, online discussions, holidays  
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17853 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2009 at 11:56 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-13 06:13:26 PM
Twenty minutes? Oh, subby, ever the optimist. A true rookie hick could add on twenty minutes just to the process of getting off the plane. That's not even starting to count what they and their ilk add to security wait times (trying to wear their knee-high boots through security, having their laptop buried at the bottom of the bag that they've already tried to push through the scanner, having each toiletry item in a separate pouch or pocket of two different bags, and so on); gate wait times (losing their boarding pass, not having their boarding pass in hand, trying to board with the wrong group, and so on); time finding a seat (is C window or aisle? oh, my bag won't fit into the overhead! oops, I accidentally passed my seat); time navigating into the seat (goodness, they make these so narrow! oh, excuse me, I forgot to get my magazine out of the bag I just stuffed into the overhead! oops, I'm actually in that row up there!); time spent moving back down the aisle to their real seat because they accidentally sat down four rows further than they should have (oopsie!), and so on and so on and so on.

Really, what airlines need to do is have training airplanes and real airplanes. People only get to fly on training airplanes until they've demonstrated that they understand how to handle flying on adult ones.
 
2009-11-13 06:19:55 PM
Pocket Ninja: and so on and so on and so on.

You forgot "puts carry-on shiat 9 rows behind where they're seated, and then on exiting the plane, expects everyone else to wait while they wade back through the humanity in the aisles to get their shiat instead of waiting until the entire plane empties out"
 
2009-11-13 06:23:46 PM
Christ on a stick! If you're so important, fly on a private plane, get upgraded or STFU.

Modern air travel is the equivalent of the bus now. It sucks. Get used to it.

/mostly kidding
 
2009-11-13 07:10:28 PM
The greatest reform to come out of 9/11 was keeping non-passengers behind the security gates. My Boobies 9/11 flight was like a vacation in the terminal.
 
2009-11-13 07:19:19 PM
Mentat: My Boobies 9/11 flight was like a vacation in the terminal

Sometimes the filter is a beautiful thing.
 
2009-11-13 07:23:09 PM
Pocket Ninja: Mentat: My Boobies 9/11 flight was like a vacation in the terminal

Sometimes the filter is a beautiful thing.


Goddamnit, I went years without a filterpwn. YEARS.
 
2009-11-13 07:47:41 PM
Mentat: Pocket Ninja: Mentat: My Boobies 9/11 flight was like a vacation in the terminal

Sometimes the filter is a beautiful thing.

Goddamnit, I went years without a filterpwn. YEARS.


startswithabang.com
 
2009-11-13 08:16:35 PM
announcer: Now boarding zone 2.
hick: what did he say? i was on the phone
announcer: Zone 2, now boarding
hick: we're zone 4, is that us?
hick's friend: I have zone 5, so maybe we can go on now
announcer: Zone 2
hicks in unison: crowd closer to the front and block everyone, we're next! grab the bag of fried food that we didn't eat while we were waiting in the terminal so we can open it after everyone sits down in the plane. also, get your fat flappy butt cheeks ready to fart a lot because I think we're next to cake hunter and his nose is clogged so he's going to have to gulp it all down through his mouth.

god, i hate vegas.
 
2009-11-13 08:55:20 PM
Mentat: Goddamnit, I went years without a filterpwn. YEARS.

Number of days since a filterpwn accident - 0.
 
2009-11-13 09:17:12 PM
When I was doing the the Chicago-Vancouver trip every three weeks for 3 1/2 years, I thought the $250 dollars for a years worth of economy plus was well worth it. No kids up front, just frequent fliers. All business no muss. I felt bad for those behind rows 15-16.

The funniest is when someone at the rear tried to put his bags up front and the stewardess told him to take it back with him (happened on almost every flight).
 
2009-11-13 09:24:25 PM
Archie Goodwin: Mentat: Goddamnit, I went years without a filterpwn. YEARS.

Number of days since a filterpwn accident - 0.


If you try to dock my pay, I'm calling the union.
 
2009-11-13 10:02:31 PM
If the airlines was better about getting luggage to the right places, maybe people would be less inclined to carry on so much.
 
2009-11-13 10:09:24 PM
Flights were always on time till the hicks discovered planes. It all makes sense now.
 
2009-11-13 10:20:14 PM
Well several months ago I got on an airplane for the first time since about 1996 or so. Here are my thoughts.

Goddamit security took forever and was crap. Even though it had been a decade since I'd seen the inside of an airport I could see several possible ways to sneak bad things through security without significant effort.

You would think they would have better latches on those stupid overhead bins.

Everyone, please quit complaining about how cramped it is while on the plane, we all know. It's not that bad anyway. My work car has less leg room and personal space with all the stuff I have crammed in it. If you want personal space, get 1st class or get in your car.

Then we get to Sea-Tac and they shut down the trams for some BS security scare, won't tell us anything, then fire up everything again after 20 minutes with no further explanation. Thank goodness the people who run the shuttle buses are reasonable and they waited for those of us who got stuck.

Now I see why so many people would rather drive than fly.
 
2009-11-13 11:07:42 PM
wingedkat: If the airlines was better about getting luggage to the right places, maybe people would be less inclined to carry on so much.

That's what my friend and I did. He told me to pack as LIGHT as possible and take it on with me because if I checked it, my luggage would not make it to Sea-Tac and if it did it would not be in one piece. He flys a heck of a lot more than I do so I took his word on that.

My boss likes to ship his luggage via UPS rather than check it with the airline. Then just take a small carry on with him on the plane.
 
2009-11-14 12:00:01 AM
Planes should just fly empty. Then you wouldn't have any problems.
 
2009-11-14 12:00:32 AM
Hicks who rarely take public transit make it take 20 minutes for the rest of us to get on and off the bus/car/airplane/train.
 
2009-11-14 12:02:24 AM
Anyone familiar with the new Jet Blue terminal at JFK? I've got a trip up to Buffalo in a few weeks. Do the bars serve drinks in the morning?

/Farking Continental discontinued the 737 on the Newark-Buffalo route, so now you can only fly those tiny plane that either crash or lose wheels on landing.
 
2009-11-14 12:05:25 AM
"I'm Big Joe Carryon! I don't check nothing!"
 
2009-11-14 12:06:55 AM
I stopped carrying on a bag years ago. When I fly, I have a medium-sized purse and a book--that's it. When that plane lands, I want to get the hell off. So, while the rest of you are struggling with shifted cargo in the overhead compartments, I'm halfway up the ramp.
 
2009-11-14 12:08:35 AM
What about the morons that have all the jewelry they own on them and are SHOCKED when they have to remove it for the metal detector. Those people make me want to kill.
 
2009-11-14 12:08:45 AM
Flying hicks no longer bother me. I'm very Zen about these morans. Idiots are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Including planes. They will impede my progress until the day I pass onto my Great Reward. Acceptance is the first step people.
 
2009-11-14 12:09:49 AM
It doesn't help that many airlines have begun charging for checked baggage. So everyone that would've checked a bag before now tries to carry on as much as they possibly can.

They charge one rate for the firs bag, then bump it up for the second, third etc...

Guaranteed to increase oversized carry-ons.
 
2009-11-14 12:12:03 AM
Earl of Chives: Flying hicks no longer bother me. I'm very Zen about these morans. Idiots are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Including planes. They will impede my progress until the day I pass onto my Great Reward. Acceptance is the first step people.

And then they'll be holding up the line into heaven.
 
2009-11-14 12:12:04 AM
MrEricSir: Hicks who rarely take public transit make it take 20 minutes for the rest of us to get on and off the bus/car/airplane/train.

Protesters in DC were the worse. Absolutely no Metro etiquette and were shocked when people were short with them because of it. If people asked me for directions I told the scared white people to get off at Anacostia.

/wonder how many ever listened to me.
 
2009-11-14 12:13:42 AM
brigid_fitch: I stopped carrying on a bag years ago. When I fly, I have a medium-sized purse and a book--that's it. When that plane lands, I want to get the hell off. So, while the rest of you are struggling with shifted cargo in the overhead compartments, I'm halfway up the ramp.

Lies! The dumbasses who are struggling with their shifted cargo stand in the aisle as they do so. The only way you could be halfway up the ramp is if you're flying first class.
 
2009-11-14 12:13:58 AM
Didja ever step up to the counter, and as you're checking in you notice that the a couple of novice travelers trying to check in right next to you are in tears because no one ever told them they needed to be at the airport a hell of a lot earlier than 20 minutes before their flight's scheduled departure time? For an international flight?

It's hilarious, isn't it?
 
2009-11-14 12:14:28 AM
I've often thought that if there was a planeload of me, it would empty out in just a few minutes. Because the instant it's my turn, I'm moving down the aisle and gone.

And I don't absolutely have to have my free Coke on a 35-minute flight.

muck4doo: Flights were always on time till the hicks discovered planes

And back then men wore suits and ties on planes, while ladies wore dresses, white gloves and hats. I remember I got a new suit as a kid to fly.
 
2009-11-14 12:15:13 AM
People who live in red, flyover states are stupid and useless, and the world would be better off without them.
 
2009-11-14 12:16:24 AM
Xanax & Scotch FTW
 
2009-11-14 12:17:52 AM
bobbarker02: People who live in red, flyover states are stupid and useless, and the world would be better off without them.

Yeah, let the chinese grow all of our food.

/flys with a backpack, nothing else.
 
2009-11-14 12:18:04 AM
Karma Chameleon: Xanax & Scotch FTW

and who needs a plane?
 
2009-11-14 12:19:33 AM
Mentat,
I approve of your filterpwn. As a fellow Mizzou fan (student), I know all too well what it's like to think you've got shiat down, only to have it thrown into your face.

/feces in face!
//M-I-Z
/Not ready for K.State
end threadjack
 
2009-11-14 12:20:05 AM
Just the hicks, eh, subracistmitter? Guess it's a good thing that porch monkeys, spics, and chinks who don't fly very often don't cause these same problems. Oh, and I know, "hick" is a term used to describe anyone who doesn't get out much, right? Just like the N-word is used to describe any ignorant person, right? Dickhead.
 
2009-11-14 12:20:30 AM
Cake Hunter: crowd closer to the front and block everyone, we're next!

I also find this to be an annoying behavior, and it's getting worse. I suspect that it is related to the additional charges for checked bags, so everyone is carrying-on and is worried about the availability of overhead space. Nonetheless, it is frustrating to navigate around people crowding the boarding station before their section has been called to board.
 
2009-11-14 12:20:52 AM
Ugh, I know that I'm gonna be one of those infrequent travellers with a carry on next month, but I actually want my luggage to end up at the same place at the same time I'll be.

Of course, I at least make an attempt to make things easier (put my clothes in zip lock bags so they're more compact and easier for TSA to rifle through, don't bring anything I don't have to have, try to keep things as compact as possible, etc). Hopefully I only delay things 1 or 2 minutes instead of 20 :)
 
2009-11-14 12:21:59 AM
I ran into that couple in the Starbucks at the Atlanta International terminal, they had gotten "lucky" and were re-routed from a De1ta flight going to Frankfurt to an American flight, I think. I started to feel sorry for them, until the guy said something about "how are people supposed to know about these things? They didn't tell us until we got here and then it was too late!"

My snark fell out and I had to tell him that if he read the contract of carriage, or the webpages or emails that Orbitz or Travelocity puts up, that he would have known when he spent his life savings on this vacation.
 
2009-11-14 12:22:19 AM
BULLSHIAT BULL FARKING shiat

You want the reason people are trying to cram insanely large shiat into the overhead bins? farkING CHARGING FOR THE FIRST CHECKED BAG!fark CNN, fark THE AIRLINES, AND fark YOU, SUBBY! This is a "created" problem by people as worthlessly stupid as submitter. Thanks, you farking idiots. Reap what you have sown.

Retards.

RETARDS!
 
2009-11-14 12:23:07 AM
bobbarker02: People who live in red, flyover states are stupid and useless, and the world would be better off without them.

2/10. Too cliche' anymore.
 
2009-11-14 12:23:16 AM
Yeah?
On my last flight, I sat next to Jeffrey...

/
 
2009-11-14 12:23:41 AM
Gotta give credit to the people who stand up as soon as they can when the plane lands and think they can pull down their 2 oversized carryons, then get ahead of 27 rows of passengers and be the first ones out... credit for being the biggest douchebags, of course.
 
2009-11-14 12:23:51 AM
People who are too poor to afford a private charter probably shouldn't be calling others hicks.
 
2009-11-14 12:24:18 AM
KOOLmike: Just the hicks, eh, subracistmitter? Guess it's a good thing that porch monkeys, spics, and chinks who don't fly very often don't cause these same problems. Oh, and I know, "hick" is a term used to describe anyone who doesn't get out much, right? Just like the N-word is used to describe any ignorant person, right? Dickhead.

Attractive and successful troll-american is attractive and successful?
 
2009-11-14 12:25:39 AM
drewkumo: bobbarker02: People who live in red, flyover states are stupid and useless, and the world would be better off without them.

Yeah, let the chinese grow all of our food.

/flys with a backpack, nothing else.


Grow all our food and design buildings and software and medicine and aeronautics and so on ad infinitum. Have either of you ever met anyone (movies don't count) that wasn't from either coast?
 
2009-11-14 12:26:06 AM
belowner: BULLSHIAT BULL FARKING shiat

You want the reason people are trying to cram insanely large shiat into the overhead bins? farkING CHARGING FOR THE FIRST CHECKED BAG!fark CNN, fark THE AIRLINES, AND fark YOU, SUBBY! This is a "created" problem by people as worthlessly stupid as submitter. Thanks, you farking idiots. Reap what you have sown.

Retards.

RETARDS!


Somebody didn't get their rum and Dramamine this evening.
 
2009-11-14 12:26:41 AM
Petit_Merdeux: Modern air travel is the equivalent of the bus now. It sucks. Get used to it.

Even transatlantic flights are this way. I did two 15 hour flights in two weeks recently, stuck both times in an "other-than-aisle" seat. Bad for me, and for my seat-mates, as I have to drink loads of water, which means getting up. I spent a LOT of time hanging out in the galley with the cabin crew, as usual.

Worst time: Five hours in, and knowing you still have twice as long still to go. Handy hint: don't even try to drink on a flight. Just not worth it.
 
2009-11-14 12:26:42 AM
bobbarker02: People who live in red, flyover states are stupid and useless, and the world would be better off without them.

But you'd starve.

Oh, a Californian. Not surprised. You're entire state can't figure out how to make money now that entertainment distribution isn't a monopoly.
 
2009-11-14 12:28:44 AM
KOOLmike: Just the hicks, eh, subracistmitter? Guess it's a good thing that porch monkeys, spics, and chinks who don't fly very often don't cause these same problems. Oh, and I know, "hick" is a term used to describe anyone who doesn't get out much, right? Just like the N-word is used to describe any ignorant person, right? Dickhead.

A couple of these & you'll feel better.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-11-14 12:30:55 AM
> BULLSHIAT BULL FARKING shiat

> You want the reason people are trying to cram insanely large shiat > into the overhead bins? farkING CHARGING FOR THE FIRST CHECKED
> BAG!fark CNN, fark THE AIRLINES, AND fark YOU, SUBBY! This is
> a "created" problem by people as worthlessly stupid as
> submitter. Thanks, you farking idiots. Reap what you have sown.

> Retards.

> RETARDS!


+1

get rid of the charge for the first bag, and people won't need to carry their stuff on.
 
2009-11-14 12:31:17 AM
I flew a couple months ago, the first time in about five years. I actually took 15 minutes to look up rules of the airline I was flying and TSA information before packing anything. I ended up going through security faster than the business traveler looking guy in the line next to me. Finding my seat was easy thanks to my abilities to read 1-32, ABC DEF, and to recognize a picture of a window on a sticker placed above a row of seats. Out of laziness, I placed my carry on bag directly above the seat I sat in. Weird, I know.
It just isn't that difficult, people. Actually, all my flights went smoothly and nobody made a scene or fuss about anything. The worst part of the whole experience was the plane was out of Pepsi
 
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