FARK.com: (4767405) Manager trains employees for hold up situations by hiring man to burst in during buisness hours and put a gun to someones head. This should end well

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(Some Guy)		Manager trains employees for hold up situations by hiring man to burst in during buisness hours and put a gun to someones head. This should end well (slashfood.com)		86
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7059 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2009 at 4:25 PM | Favorite | share:

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MaxxLarge		2009-11-13 01:49:02 PM

My wife just got held up in an armed robbery at the coffee shop she runs not even two weeks ago. She handled it very well, kept it together, and wound up getting praised endlessly be her company before being transferred to a better location. Even so, that's a pretty awful phone call to wake up to. Plus, she's gotta carry the memory of having a gun pointed at her for the rest of her life, when all she'd signed on for was making sure people get their lattés with a smile.

Needless to say, if I found out it had been some sort of f*cking TRAINING EXERCISE?!? I would swiftly locate the person(s) responsible and have a very physical "conversation" with them. A conversation that would end with me hanging their goddamned testicles around my review mirror before driving back home.

aden_nak		2009-11-13 01:51:21 PM

/approve

Sybarite		2009-11-13 02:45:36 PM

"And that's why you never rob a bank!"

Recoil Therapy		2009-11-13 04:18:31 PM

Meanwhile the clerk who is carrying a pistol against company policy but hidden so well that the only way it would get noticed is if there was a robbery...

Recoil Therapy		2009-11-13 04:23:16 PM

And now after having bothered to rtfa, they're just lucky that a customer didn't blast the "robber" in the back thinking that they would become an instant hero. And even if not a hero he probably wouldn't be charged with anything as most any reasonable person in a similar situation would think "robbery" rather than "training".

Sonic should fire the manager, he's a danger to their bottom line from eventual lawsuits from either this or some other dumb thing that is sure to happen with this mental giant in charge.

TomieKitie		2009-11-13 04:30:56 PM

Suicide of an actor by fast food management narrowly avoided.

Doctor Funkenstein		2009-11-13 04:31:17 PM

Sexual harassment training at this joint must be the most anticipated day of the year.

GoldSpider		2009-11-13 04:32:41 PM

aden_nak: /approve

Man, was that ever the first thing I thought of too!

FormlessOne		2009-11-13 04:33:37 PM

Recoil Therapy: And now after having bothered to rtfa, they're just lucky that a customer didn't blast the "robber" in the back thinking that they would become an instant hero. And even if not a hero he probably wouldn't be charged with anything as most any reasonable person in a similar situation would think "robbery" rather than "training".

Sonic should fire the manager, he's a danger to their bottom line from eventual lawsuits from either this or some other dumb thing that is sure to happen with this mental giant in charge.

This. Also, I can't wait for at least one lawsuit from a customer, alleging psychological trauma stemming from, oh, I don't know, trying to eat a Sonic burger while a friggin' gunman takes a hostage.

MilitaryTigger		2009-11-13 04:34:07 PM

Soooo... What happens in this training scenario when, unbeknownst to the manager, the trainee has been practicing Krav Maga or Kempo for several years, and when presented with an armed target, proceeds to disarm the pretend robber while dislocating his shoulder/elbow/wrist?

treesloth		2009-11-13 04:34:49 PM

What are buisness hours? Are they the same as business hours?

Sin_City_Superhero		2009-11-13 04:35:28 PM

St. Joseph Police Department commander Jim Connors recounts. "We forcefully got the message across that's not expected behavior."

What does that mean? They beat him into submission?

D135		2009-11-13 04:36:14 PM

we need a 'Genius' tag

Mr.Hawk		2009-11-13 04:37:19 PM

treesloth: What are buisness hours? Are they the same as business hours?

Not in this case I think

Xetal		2009-11-13 04:38:57 PM

I hope one of the employees or customers sue.

Whodat?		2009-11-13 04:39:30 PM

I've done my time in the service industry, and this just confirms what I've always known:

Managers in the service industry are very often some of the dumbest sonsabiatches you will ever meet. Now, there are some nice, decent, intelligent ones, but they are a teeny tiny minority.

99% of the time the manager at any such place is just someone too dumb and/or lacking in ambition to get an associates at the local JuCo and a decent job.

This guy is exhibit A. Hoo-boy. I really hope he goes to jail for reckless endangerment.

cats4rent		2009-11-13 04:40:38 PM

a friend was working at a fast food place late one night back in the ninetys when a robber came in and he came running out and stabbed the thief impaling his hand sticking him to the counter. then he got fired.

pope183		2009-11-13 04:41:46 PM

they gonna get meep'd

Englebert Slaptyback		2009-11-13 04:43:13 PM

treesloth

What are buisness hours? Are they the same as business hours?

Yes, in the same way that "hold up" is same as "holdup" or "hold-up" and that "someones" is the same as "someone's".

IOW yes, in Farkheadlineland.

bluehubcap		2009-11-13 04:43:37 PM

Local police: "We forcefully got the message across that's not expected behavior."

Please let that not be a euphemism. I honestly hope they smacked the guy upside the head. A couple of times. With their batons.

wage0048		2009-11-13 04:43:41 PM

MaxxLarge: My wife just got held up in an armed robbery at the coffee shop she runs not even two weeks ago. She handled it very well, kept it together, and wound up getting praised endlessly be her company before being transferred to a better location. Even so, that's a pretty awful phone call to wake up to. Plus, she's gotta carry the memory of having a gun pointed at her for the rest of her life, when all she'd signed on for was making sure people get their lattés with a smile.

Having been stopped at gunpoint (one of the occupational hazards of being a security guard) by police, I can honestly say that you never forget the experience. Being on a first-name basis with the cop involved and laughing about it over a smoke-break afterward helps one get over the experience but doesn't change the fact that you simply don't ever forget.

katghoti		2009-11-13 04:44:20 PM

Real men of genius
Mr. Rob my employees without their knowlege
That right, Mr Rob my employees without their knowlege, without care to them or others, you prove your intellect by staging a hold up.
Well done!

/what an asshole!

SeamusFerrell		2009-11-13 04:45:19 PM

FormlessOne: This. Also, I can't wait for at least one lawsuit from a customer, alleging psychological trauma stemming from, oh, I don't know, trying to eat a Sonic burger while a friggin' gunman takes a hostage.

IIED could be claimed, so long as the plaintiff gets a shrink to testify that the distress was severe. The other elements seem to be no-brainers. False imprisonment could also be claimed.

treesloth		2009-11-13 04:45:41 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: What does that mean? They beat him into submission?

I'm assuming that a drill instructor, many pushups, a severe beating, and forcing the manager to catch MLB fastballs with his nads were all involved.

treesloth		2009-11-13 04:47:12 PM

bluehubcap: Local police: "We forcefully got the message across that's not expected behavior."

Please let that not be a euphemism. I honestly hope they smacked the guy upside the head. A couple of times. With their batons.

I think that you possibly meant to say, "Please let that be a euphemism."

illicit		2009-11-13 04:47:13 PM

D135: we need a 'Genius' tag

Real Men of Genius...

Today we salute you Mister Sets-Up-A-Fake-Robbery-Guy. With your idea of training, you tied up local police resources, scared all of your customers, and probably could've gotten someone shot. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, because you may just need some beers pretty soon anyway.

Draskuul		2009-11-13 04:47:31 PM

I'm just waiting for this to happen at the same time that someone with a concealed carry permit is inside. *blam* That will make an interesting set of lawsuits. I sure as hell wouldn't wait to see if it was just an actor. A gun to the face is a gun to the face unless it says Mattel or Hasbro on the side and is being held by a 5-year-old.

/Waits for someone else to post the pink Hello Kitty AR-15
//Or the early M16 jokes with Hasbro or Mattel logos on them

snocone		2009-11-13 04:49:35 PM

Getting too old. A good thing, but,
About three years ago, was there not some similar incident and one of the "employees" suffered a fatal heart attack. Criminal charges followed.

SH		2009-11-13 04:49:52 PM

treesloth: What are buisness hours? Are they the same as business hours?

Nono. It's grammar nazi bait cleverly planted by the author.

bluehubcap		2009-11-13 04:50:38 PM

treesloth: bluehubcap: Local police: "We forcefully got the message across that's not expected behavior."

Please let that not be a euphemism. I honestly hope they smacked the guy upside the head. A couple of times. With their batons.

I think that you possibly meant to say, "Please let that be a euphemism."

Noooo...I meant what I said. A euphemism would mean that it wasn't literal. I hope that the forceful part of the statement was, in fact, truly forceful.

/I lernd Inglish by hookt on fonix

Whiskey Dickens		2009-11-13 04:50:45 PM

Doctor Funkenstein: Sexual harassment training at this joint must be the most anticipated day of the year.

You made laughter squirt out of my nose!

treesloth		2009-11-13 04:51:31 PM

SH: treesloth: What are buisness hours? Are they the same as business hours?

Nono. It's grammar nazi bait cleverly planted by the author.

I guess the author didn't realize that grammar != spelling.

CheatsAtMasturbation		2009-11-13 04:52:02 PM

You should see their sexual harassment awareness exercises.

redqueenmeg		2009-11-13 04:52:43 PM

aden_nak: /approve

Came here for pix of Michael Scott & Dwight, leaving satisfied.

mephisto6		2009-11-13 04:53:47 PM

cats4rent: a friend was working at a fast food place late one night back in the ninetys when a robber came in and he came running out and stabbed the thief impaling his hand sticking him to the counter. then he got fired.

Yeah, that's a pretty srong reaction. The convenience store clerk i saw last month was the exact opposite. A couple kids carrying 2 cases of Bud walked toward the counter then bolted out of the store. Clerk meandered towards the door, then came back behind the counter shaking his head. I held up my 6-pack and said, "Can i just...?" But he shook his head, so I went ahead and gave him some money.

/Two CSBs in one!

bluehubcap		2009-11-13 04:54:06 PM

SH: treesloth: What are buisness hours? Are they the same as business hours?

Nono. It's grammar nazi bait cleverly planted by the author.

Nazi is a proper noun; therefore, it should be capitalized.

/snarky grammar Nazi in training

Giltric		2009-11-13 04:58:21 PM

Could a person get sued for doing this?

Anywho....I think the best way to train your employees for armed robbery is to tell them, "It's not your money, let them take it"

Then give the police the disk from the surveilance camera that noone knew you had installed to prevent the employees from robbing you.

SeamusFerrell		2009-11-13 04:59:56 PM

Giltric: Could a person get sued for doing this?

Anywho....I think the best way to train your employees for armed robbery is to tell them, "It's not your money, let them take it"

Then give the police the disk from the surveilance camera that noone knew you had installed to prevent the employees from robbing you.

Yes, please see my above post. And why would you conceal a camera? Wouldn't you want people to see it to deter crime?

treesloth		2009-11-13 05:00:56 PM

bluehubcap: A euphemism would mean that it wasn't literal.

That sounds odd. A euphemism is "an inoffensive or indirect expression that is substituted for one that is considered offensive or too harsh". For example, ""We forcefully got the message across..." as a euphemism for "We beat the living hell out of him until he cried for mommy and promised never to be a farktard again, at which point we beat the hell out of mommy, too, just for the hell of it. Well, hell."

The Drunk IT Guy		2009-11-13 05:08:28 PM

I might've tossed a cup of mega-hot shortening in his face, that or the white gravy.

4chan		2009-11-13 05:11:53 PM

MilitaryTigger: been practicing Krav Maga or Kempo for several years, and when presented with an armed target, proceeds to disarm the pretend robber while dislocating his shoulder/elbow/wrist?

Of course in reality any asshole that attempts to disarm a someone with a gun to protect $100 of someone elses money deserves to be shot and killed, just to keep the stupid out of the gene pool, and most likely would be.

Forced Perspective		2009-11-13 05:11:58 PM

Somebody post the text/pic of the peanut factory foreman from the episode of the Simpsons where Bart gets an elephant just before said elephant overruns them.

/Lazy.
//GIS-fu is weak.
///"Many of you requested transfers..."

Giltric		2009-11-13 05:12:09 PM

SeamusFerrell: Giltric: Could a person get sued for doing this?

Anywho....I think the best way to train your employees for armed robbery is to tell them, "It's not your money, let them take it"

Then give the police the disk from the surveilance camera that noone knew you had installed to prevent the employees from robbing you.

Yes, please see my above post. And why would you conceal a camera? Wouldn't you want people to see it to deter crime?

No because then they might want to spend time looking for the tape to conceal their crimes........I read a story years back about a guy who had fake cameras set up in his store....the woman clerk was beaten to within a half inch of her life cause the actor wanted to know where the vcr was.

Mr.Hawk		2009-11-13 05:12:38 PM

Giltric: Could a person get sued for doing this?

Anywho....I think the best way to train your employees for armed robbery is to tell them, "It's not your money, let them take it"

Then give the police the disk from the surveilance camera that noone knew you had installed to prevent the employees from robbing you.

Count down to treesloth comment in 3...2...

SeamusFerrell		2009-11-13 05:14:34 PM

The Drunk IT Guy: I might've tossed a cup of mega-hot shortening in his face, that or the white gravy.

Spicoli: Awesome. Totally awesome.

Luthiel		2009-11-13 05:18:18 PM

Doctor Funkenstein: Sexual harassment training at this joint must be the most anticipated day of the year.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner!

Fish in a Barrel		2009-11-13 05:21:37 PM

4chan: MilitaryTigger: been practicing Krav Maga or Kempo for several years, and when presented with an armed target, proceeds to disarm the pretend robber while dislocating his shoulder/elbow/wrist?

Of course in reality any asshole that attempts to disarm a someone with a gun to protect $100 of someone elses money deserves to be shot and killed, just to keep the stupid out of the gene pool, and most likely would be.

Who cares about the cash? If the guy's got a gun pointed at you then he might just use it. That's more than enough motivation and justification to act, assuming you have the training.