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(BBC)   British gardeners urged to urinate on their plants to help them grow better. How very european   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 135
    More: Interesting, compost  
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4542 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2009 at 11:42 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-13 09:44:27 AM  
Urinate on their parents? I can't condone that.
 
2009-11-13 10:11:14 AM  
Urine kills plants because of it's salt content.

reads article

They're pissing in a compost heap.

upload.wikimedia.org
/The trash heap is not amused.
 
2009-11-13 11:30:27 AM  
I wanna piss on your wicked garden
 
2009-11-13 11:44:31 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
Impressed
 
2009-11-13 11:46:04 AM  
skammie: Urine kills plants because of it's salt content.

what makes the grass grow? pee. pee. pee.

it alway seems greener where the drunks and the dogs go
 
2009-11-13 11:46:47 AM  

British gardeners urged to urinate on their plants to help them grow better. How very european


Also very New Zealandean: that's how Burt Munro kept his lemon tree going.
 
2009-11-13 11:47:41 AM  
I cannot imagine how badly that smells. I gag passing the park here in New York where they're remodeling. The smell of urine, ancient and most likely new, is that strong and disgusting. I'm all for natural methods of growing things but I wouldn't enter a park where pee is being used deliberately. I don't sit on grass because of pee (and a phobia of insects).
 
2009-11-13 11:48:57 AM  
Q. If you are American when you are walking into the bathroom and you are American when you are walking out of the bathroom, what are you while you are in the bathroom?


A. European
 
2009-11-13 11:49:32 AM  
R. Kelly allegedly outraged at this encouraged waste of urine.
 
2009-11-13 11:50:13 AM  
Maggie_Luna: I cannot imagine how badly that smells. I gag passing the park here in New York where they're remodeling. The smell of urine, ancient and most likely new, is that strong and disgusting. I'm all for natural methods of growing things but I wouldn't enter a park where pee is being used deliberately. I don't sit on grass because of pee (and a phobia of insects).

so golden showers would be out of the question????????
 
2009-11-13 11:50:49 AM  
What do I have to do to get sawed off shotguns to grow?
 
2009-11-13 11:51:00 AM  
Okay, this makes sense in a way. I mean, manure is good fertilizer, right? And picture cattle grazing a pasture. they stop and pee when they need to. And the grass grows...


My mom always crushed up eggshells and sprinkled them around the azaleas.
 
2009-11-13 11:51:08 AM  
Just pretend you're at a soccer...err football match and the plants are the opposing team's fans.
 
2009-11-13 11:51:20 AM  
jxb465: R. Kelly allegedly outraged at this encouraged waste of urine.

Actually he's probably out shopping for a ghillie suit.
 
2009-11-13 11:51:32 AM  
www.myconfinedspace.com
 
2009-11-13 11:53:42 AM  
Doing it wrong.
 
2009-11-13 11:53:49 AM  
Third In Line: Okay, this makes sense in a way. I mean, manure is good fertilizer, right? And picture cattle grazing a pasture. they stop and pee when they need to. And the grass grows...


My mom always crushed up eggshells and sprinkled them around the azaleas.


Then your mom is an idiot. Azaleas like acidic soil and egg shells make it alkaline.
 
2009-11-13 11:55:02 AM  
dhudd: Third In Line: Okay, this makes sense in a way. I mean, manure is good fertilizer, right? And picture cattle grazing a pasture. they stop and pee when they need to. And the grass grows...


My mom always crushed up eggshells and sprinkled them around the azaleas.

Then your mom is an idiot. Azaleas like acidic soil and egg shells make it alkaline.


Gee, I'll let her know she's an idiot. However, it may be me who is thinking of the wrong plant...

i'm an idiot, you idiot
 
2009-11-13 11:55:36 AM  
Maggie_Luna: I cannot imagine how badly that smells. I gag passing the park here in New York where they're remodeling. The smell of urine, ancient and most likely new, is that strong and disgusting.

If it's fresh urine decaying on concrete paths or whatever, it'll smell. They're talking about peeing on a compost heap, presumably for stimulating bacterial growth via the nitrogen content. By the compost heap breaks down weeks to months later, it'll smell like regular old outdoor dirt.

You know, outdoor dirt, where the animals pee. If that freaks you out, I hope you never swim in the ocean or touch trees.

It's urine, not uranium.
 
2009-11-13 11:55:42 AM  
From wiki. I used to assume peeing on plants killed 'em:

Link (new window)
 
2009-11-13 11:55:58 AM  
dhudd: Third In Line: Okay, this makes sense in a way. I mean, manure is good fertilizer, right? And picture cattle grazing a pasture. they stop and pee when they need to. And the grass grows...


My mom always crushed up eggshells and sprinkled them around the azaleas.

Then your mom is an idiot. Azaleas like acidic soil and egg shells make it alkaline.


That was the worst "yo mama" joke ever
 
2009-11-13 11:56:25 AM  
It's got electrolytes, it's what plants crave.
www.avclub.com
 
#2
2009-11-13 11:57:05 AM  
"There was a heavenly inflorescence at its margins, all made up of those very simple plants which are too dignified and too beautiful to compel the casual eye."

- 'The Column of Dust' by Evelyn Underhill (1909)
 
2009-11-13 11:57:23 AM  
Haha, he must be French, cuz he's a-peein'!
 
2009-11-13 11:58:30 AM  
Sounds like somebody forgot a copy of this in Heathrow...

images.blockbuster.com
 
2009-11-13 11:59:01 AM  
something about pee being salty, sowing the earth with salt, etc. you can't have it both ways, can you? (honest question)
 
2009-11-13 12:00:17 PM  
Headline win.
 
2009-11-13 12:00:21 PM  
jxb465: R. Kelly allegedly outraged at this encouraged waste of urine.

What's the difference between Fergie and R. Kelly?

Fergie stars in The Black Eyed Peas, while R. Kelly starred in the Black Guy Pees.
 
2009-11-13 12:01:54 PM  
TemporarySanity: something about pee being salty, sowing the earth with salt, etc. you can't have it both ways, can you? (honest question)

TFA: "Head gardener Philip Whaites is urging his male colleagues to pee on the straw bale to activate the composting process on the estate's compost heap."
 
2009-11-13 12:04:28 PM  
moderngirlsmovie.com

"You know, this punch does have a little wang to it. Good though!"
 
2009-11-13 12:05:18 PM  
Who knew you could take a piss in the UK without a letter from the local magistrate??
 
2009-11-13 12:05:30 PM  
Just make sure you don't cross your streams.

c/o Robot Chicken
 
2009-11-13 12:05:54 PM  
"Everybody Sucks but me"
-us
 
2009-11-13 12:05:58 PM  
I see where this is going. Then they'll all be arrested for public indecency.

www.imageviper.com
 
2009-11-13 12:08:45 PM  
dhudd: Third In Line: Okay, this makes sense in a way. I mean, manure is good fertilizer, right? And picture cattle grazing a pasture. they stop and pee when they need to. And the grass grows...


My mom always crushed up eggshells and sprinkled them around the azaleas.

Then your mom is an idiot. Azaleas like acidic soil and egg shells make it alkaline.


If they were planted under a large oak tree you'd need to add a little lime to dial it back a notch.
 
2009-11-13 12:10:15 PM  
Would have been funnier if it read you're-a-peein'
 
2009-11-13 12:10:32 PM  
chimp_ninja: Maggie_Luna: I cannot imagine how badly that smells. I gag passing the park here in New York where they're remodeling. The smell of urine, ancient and most likely new, is that strong and disgusting.

If it's fresh urine decaying on concrete paths or whatever, it'll smell. They're talking about peeing on a compost heap, presumably for stimulating bacterial growth via the nitrogen content. By the compost heap breaks down weeks to months later, it'll smell like regular old outdoor dirt.

You know, outdoor dirt, where the animals pee. If that freaks you out, I hope you never swim in the ocean or touch trees.

It's urine, not uranium.


I actually do neither so I'm of the good in those areas. I can't actually remember the last time I touched a tree that wasn't a sapling. I have a sapling at home, I touch it on occasion. Afterwards I wash my hands a few times or with hot water and soap.
 
2009-11-13 12:10:50 PM  
When I was twelve or thereabouts my friend and I had an overnight camping expedition at the bottom of his garden. In the middle of the night I got horrible stomach cramps, and being unable to make it into his house I vaulted the fence and crimped off the biggest log I've ever seen in his neighbour's garden. It was about a foot long and smooth as an eel.
We were woken by the sounds of said neighbour brutally thrashing his dog for crapping on his flowerbeds.
Cool. Story.
 
2009-11-13 12:10:50 PM  
If we did it here, we'd end up on the sex offender registry and serve two years in prison.
 
2009-11-13 12:11:27 PM  
I do this to my employees but it doesn't seem to increase their productivity.
 
2009-11-13 12:11:30 PM  
medius: skammie: Urine kills plants because of it's salt content.

what makes the grass grow? pee. pee. pee.

it alway seems greener where the drunks and the dogs go


No, that's poop. My dog has killed a lot of spots on our lawn with her pee. Where she poops it's nice and lush.
 
2009-11-13 12:11:39 PM  
Third In Line: dhudd: Third In Line: Okay, this makes sense in a way. I mean, manure is good fertilizer, right? And picture cattle grazing a pasture. they stop and pee when they need to. And the grass grows...


My mom always crushed up eggshells and sprinkled them around the azaleas.

Then your mom is an idiot. Azaleas like acidic soil and egg shells make it alkaline.

Gee, I'll let her know she's an idiot. However, it may be me who is thinking of the wrong plant...

i'm an idiot, you idiot


Tomatoes would like those eggshells very much - it would keep them from getting blossom end rot. I suspect you are the "idiot" since mothers aren't generally idiots.
 
2009-11-13 12:13:06 PM  
chimp_ninja: Maggie_Luna: I cannot imagine how badly that smells. I gag passing the park here in New York where they're remodeling. The smell of urine, ancient and most likely new, is that strong and disgusting.

If it's fresh urine decaying on concrete paths or whatever, it'll smell. They're talking about peeing on a compost heap, presumably for stimulating bacterial growth via the nitrogen content. By the compost heap breaks down weeks to months later, it'll smell like regular old outdoor dirt.

You know, outdoor dirt, where the animals pee. If that freaks you out, I hope you never swim in the ocean or touch trees.

It's urine, not uranium.


Another thing about urine is that it's mostly sterile. Being acidic and full of ammonia will do that to a liquid. It actually had/has use as an antiseptic.

In short, unless you can see or smell it, you really have no reason to be grossed out beyond irrational fear.
 
2009-11-13 12:13:43 PM  
Third In Line: dhudd: Third In Line: Okay, this makes sense in a way. I mean, manure is good fertilizer, right? And picture cattle grazing a pasture. they stop and pee when they need to. And the grass grows...


My mom always crushed up eggshells and sprinkled them around the azaleas.

Then your mom is an idiot. Azaleas like acidic soil and egg shells make it alkaline.

Gee, I'll let her know she's an idiot. However, it may be me who is thinking of the wrong plant...

i'm an idiot, you idiot


Yo mom just got da snap!
 
2009-11-13 12:14:55 PM  
katerbug72: medius: skammie: Urine kills plants because of it's salt content.

what makes the grass grow? pee. pee. pee.

it alway seems greener where the drunks and the dogs go

No, that's poop. My dog has killed a lot of spots on our lawn with her pee. Where she poops it's nice and lush.


Oddly, it's only female dogs urine that does that; even if a male dog "squats" his pee doesn't have the same hormones in it that biatches have that kills the grass. Although it makes brown spot, there is a very nice darker green around the dead spot.
 
2009-11-13 12:16:26 PM  
If your hands are freezing cold, it's as if a stranger were doing it for you...
 
2009-11-13 12:17:22 PM  
My friend's son struggled to learn how to pee in the potty. He could control his bladder, he just hated peeing in a toilet. So they let him pee in the backyard along the fence (where nobody would walk or sit). My friend said that if his son peed once in a spot, the grass in that area would have a growth spurt. If his son peed more than once, the grass would die. It was very strange.

/it took a looooooong time for Christopher to become fully potty trained. He especially hated pooping on the toilet.
 
2009-11-13 12:17:42 PM  
Okay, y'all. I just called my mom, it's the lilac bushes that she puts eggshells under.

That does not make me an idiot. That makes me scatter-brained.
hmph

And dhudd, try not to be quite so nice, and so polite to people...
 
2009-11-13 12:18:52 PM  
This modern gardening lark eh, it's a piece of piss.
 
2009-11-13 12:20:22 PM  
Heard it was the number 1 way to stimulate plant growth.
 
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