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(Den Of Geek)   Roland Emmerich's 2012 reviewed: "After two more hours of skyscrapers collapsing, tidal waves consuming cities and the ground generally being torn asunder, the slightest sniff of one trick pony-ism does start to permeate"   (denofgeek.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Roland Emmerich, John Cusack, Woody Harrelson, Independence Day, Danny Glover, The Day After Tomorrow, plot holes, filmmaking  
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4210 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Nov 2009 at 10:00 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-09 09:12:21 AM  
This review makes is sound like pretty much what I was expecting.


THIS is a disaster movie. No, wait, let me rephrase that: This movie is a disaster. At least it would be if it didn't fall into the "so bad it's good" category.


Jackson has so many close calls - roads disintegrating under him, skyscrapers collapsing over him, fireballs crashing around him - it is laughable. Unintentional comedy at its best.

The special effects, though, are astounding. Farewell White House, goodbye Christ the Redeemer, arrivederci Vatican City, au revoir Eiffel Tower . . . you get the picture.



I'll admit it, disaster porn is a weakness of mine. I blame the nuclear holocaust movies of my youth.
 
2009-11-09 09:25:05 AM  
Other quotes from the same review were much more promising:

Roland Emmerich blows the world up again, as his latest effects opus, 2012, proves to be his best film since Independence Day...

The levels of stunt coordination and lavish CG work on display are certainly the most impressive I have ever seen. You may even start feeling nauseous, as your eyes relentlessly track across the screen in an effort to keep up with the unfolding action. As far as pure spectacle goes, it doesn't get any better than this.

////I have to wonder what the joy is in trashing something you haven't seen.
 
2009-11-09 10:02:49 AM  
How did the Statue of Liberty fare? Roland hates the Statue of Liberty.

I kind of like disaster porn too. Mostly because I'm an FX guy and appreciate decent FX, even if the movie itself sucks. The melodramatic human drama they use as filler is usually pretty funny too.
 
2009-11-09 10:04:49 AM  

Mugato: How did the Statue of Liberty fare? Roland hates the Statue of Liberty.

I kind of like disaster porn too. Mostly because I'm an FX guy and appreciate decent FX, even if the movie itself sucks. The melodramatic human drama they use as filler is usually pretty funny too.

They better drown the folks from A Perfect Storm while they are at it.
 
2009-11-09 10:08:16 AM  
I think anyone who has seen any of the trailers could easily conclude that this movie isn't going to win awards for acting or anything like that.

But damn it looks like fun, but I'll easily admit that disaster movies (as well as creature features) are a huge weakness of mine.

I also really liked The Day After Tomorrow.
 
2009-11-09 10:12:56 AM  
Too bad he was too much of a pussy to destroy the Kaaba.
 
2009-11-09 10:13:12 AM  
I like this ridiculous bullshiat if only because it is so ridiculous.


My one problem with the movie is the commercials for it. One had "confirmed by science" as part of the commercial. First of all, what does that even mean? Second of all, is this really something the country needs to see at a point where we are giving so many retards face time?
 
2009-11-09 10:16:21 AM  
The special effects, though, are astounding. Farewell White House, goodbye Christ the Redeemer, arrivederci Vatican City, au revoir Eiffel Tower . . . you get the picture.

This is what I'm going to see.
Anything else is gravy.
 
2009-11-09 10:22:23 AM  
The best part is the passage of mandatory universal healthcare. Disaster movies need at least some basis in reality, and this is one area that I think Emmerich took advantage of recent fears.

/The Mayans had universal health coverage too...sure, it looks like human sacrifice but it was really government sponsored heart transplants.
 
2009-11-09 10:23:14 AM  
Soooo, smoke a joint before the movie? Will do.
 
2009-11-09 10:27:15 AM  
I told my father this would be out when I was home for Thanksgiving. He said he'd seen the trailers and it looked like pointless destruction and ridiculous amounts of SFX and that we were TOTALLY going to go see it.

We're pretty sure we'll get our admissions' worth of snark ALONE, let along the fun that is disaster porn. It looks like they're trying to set a new record for "total number of landmarks destroyed in a film".
 
2009-11-09 10:27:22 AM  
One doesn't go to these types of films to deeply think about them, you go for the same reason you get on roller-coasters.
 
2009-11-09 10:32:58 AM  
The only thing the Mayan calendar warned about was that a really shiatty movie would open this Friday:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/mayan_calendar_warns_of
 
2009-11-09 10:35:03 AM  
I especially like the fact the the big Christ the Redeemer statue is front and center getting toasted on the posters, given the film's release close to Christmas.

I dunno if I'll blow money on seeing it in the theatre, though. Maybe. If I'm bored.
 
2009-11-09 10:35:15 AM  
I saw the trailers. That movie looks
So.
Farking.
Stupid.
There are about fifty other movies I'd rather go see than that idiotic piece of poo.
 
2009-11-09 10:35:32 AM  
"If you were thrilled by "The Towering Inferno"... if you were terrified by "Earthquake"... then you will be SCARED SHIATLESS at the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of "That's Armageddon!"

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2009-11-09 10:41:00 AM  

Dissociater: I also really liked The Day After Tomorrow.


"Another ice age could occur within a hundred years. Or perhaps even in our grandchildren's...oh shiat, it's happening right now!. That's some farked up timing!"

...and the Statue of Liberty is again all farked up!
 
2009-11-09 10:43:32 AM  

rikdanger: "If you were thrilled by "The Towering Inferno"... if you were terrified by "Earthquake"... then you will be SCARED SHIATLESS at the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of "That's Armageddon!"


I personally like Catholic High School Girls in Trouble.
 
2009-11-09 10:45:34 AM  
Whenever one of these apocalyptic movies crops up, I always wonder whether the filmmakers will try to go for a last-minute happy ending, and how they'll try to pull it off. 'Cause if the ending is simply that everyone dies, where's the suspense? On the other hand, any happy ending after all that chaos and trauma would of course be incredibly phony. Either way, it's got to be a real bummer to watch.
 
2009-11-09 10:49:15 AM  

eagles95: I personally like Catholic High School Girls in Trouble.


And the copious amount of boobies don't exist in today's movies, rated R or not. The violence in PG-13 movies however has been ramped up. What's happening to our society?
 
2009-11-09 10:49:36 AM  

WhileAmericaBurns: Whenever one of these apocalyptic movies crops up, I always wonder whether the filmmakers will try to go for a last-minute happy ending, and how they'll try to pull it off. 'Cause if the ending is simply that everyone dies, where's the suspense? On the other hand, any happy ending after all that chaos and trauma would of course be incredibly phony. Either way, it's got to be a real bummer to watch.


Nobody left except an old man and his 3 legged pet pig would be a good ending. And he's just pissed he didn't die.
 
2009-11-09 10:53:30 AM  

drewkumo: Too bad he was too much of a pussy to destroy the Kaaba.


Can't really blame him- who wants to have to worry about being killed by someone insulted by fiction? He obviously isn't worried about Americans [White House, Statue of Liberty] or Catholics [Vatican, Christ the Redeemer] or the French -Eiffel Tower
 
2009-11-09 10:54:57 AM  

rikdanger: "If you were thrilled by "The Towering Inferno"... if you were terrified by "Earthquake"... then you will be SCARED SHIATLESS at the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of "That's Armageddon!"


*golf clap*
 
2009-11-09 10:55:09 AM  

schattenteufel: I saw the trailers. That movie looks
So.
Farking.
Stupid.
There are about fifty other movies I'd rather go see than that idiotic piece of poo.


Cool, then I won't have to fight you for the center seats behind the handicapped section.

:D
 
2009-11-09 10:56:32 AM  

BigSnatch: I like this ridiculous bullshiat if only because it is so ridiculous.


My one problem with the movie is the commercials for it. One had "confirmed by science" as part of the commercial. First of all, what does that even mean? Second of all, is this really something the country needs to see at a point where we are giving so many retards face time?


Well astronomy tells us that in 2012 a rare galactic alignment of planets in our solar system and as near as we can figure the galactic center will occur. What does this really mean? Retards, nut jobs, and movie makers get to scream "Oh my god! THE APOCOLYPSE IS NIGH!" Meanwhile astronomers go hey that is interesting.

Also the Mayans are kind of like "Wtf are you talking about? You Christian freak."
 
2009-11-09 10:58:31 AM  
What's the take on Ninja Assassin around here?
 
2009-11-09 10:59:35 AM  

WhileAmericaBurns: Whenever one of these apocalyptic movies crops up, I always wonder whether the filmmakers will try to go for a last-minute happy ending, and how they'll try to pull it off. 'Cause if the ending is simply that everyone dies, where's the suspense?


**cough**TheKnowing**ahem**cough**
/hated the ending
 
2009-11-09 10:59:45 AM  
So like Independence Day, will the director have the world saved by an Apple Laptop? Or will it be updated to an iPhone this time around?
 
2009-11-09 11:03:58 AM  

Sybarite: I'll admit it, disaster porn is a weakness of mine. I blame the nuclear holocaust movies of my youth.


Totally agree. I remember one from when I was forced to hang out at my grandfather's house and all i wanted to do was watch tv and pretend I was somewhere else. Anyway, there was a movie that I caught the tail end of and it looked amazing! (memory is most assuredly distorted at this point) but it ended with a bunch of people crawling out of smoldering ruins and you see the world reduced to ash. i think there was a red haze to the whole thing... i fear that i waill die never having seen that movie again.

but i do love disaster movies... REAL disaster movies. "Twister" and the like do not count.
 
2009-11-09 11:07:51 AM  
Best quote of the article:

"a two-and-a-half hour balls out moneyshot"

Has there even been a two and a half hour stowed-balls moneyshot?
 
2009-11-09 11:13:27 AM  
Meh, I'll go see this.

My buddy works for Regal as a manager and I see them all for free anyways. This looks entertaining at best and may be a fun way to get the weekend started.
 
2009-11-09 11:16:01 AM  

Slaves2Darkness: BigSnatch: I like this ridiculous bullshiat if only because it is so ridiculous.


My one problem with the movie is the commercials for it. One had "confirmed by science" as part of the commercial. First of all, what does that even mean? Second of all, is this really something the country needs to see at a point where we are giving so many retards face time?

Well astronomy tells us that in 2012 a rare galactic alignment of planets in our solar system and as near as we can figure the galactic center will occur. What does this really mean? Retards, nut jobs, and movie makers get to scream "Oh my god! THE APOCOLYPSE IS NIGH!" Meanwhile astronomers go hey that is interesting.

Also the Mayans are kind of like "Wtf are you talking about? You Christian freak."


Actually astronomy doesnt even tell us that:

The alignment in question is not exclusive to 2012 but takes place over a 36-year period, corresponding to the diameter of the Sun, with the most precise convergence having already occurred in 1998.[49]

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_phenomenon

But 2012'ers dont like to bother themselves with little details like that.
 
2009-11-09 11:16:47 AM  

Slaves2Darkness: Well astronomy tells us that in 2012 a rare galactic alignment of planets in our solar system and as near as we can figure the galactic center will occur. What does this really mean? Retards, nut jobs, and movie makers get to scream "Oh my god! THE APOCOLYPSE IS NIGH!" Meanwhile astronomers go hey that is interesting.



False.

There is no "alignment" happening. At least, none other than the usual, utterly inconsequential, regular winter solstice which happens every year - and not just in 2012. In fact, this same "alignment" is happening this year on 12/21/9 at 9:47 am. And it will then repeat in 2010 and 2011 as well.

The movie looks kinda pretty.... but I'm already soooooo tired of how with CGI special effects - filmmakers these days make every digitally enhanced calamity be a bloated series of death-defying, millimeter-margin near misses. It would be nice to see a little more skill and artistry using this new tech... It just pulls me out of the movie when I see the protagonist have the 350th gigantic object fly just past his head and miss crushing him by an inch. ONCE in the movie, sure. Twice, you're pushing it. Every 5 minutes? It just looks ridiculously cartoony to me.

That bus sent hurtling through the air can't just land across the farking street once in a while?
 
2009-11-09 11:21:35 AM  

Sybarite: The special effects, though, are astounding. Farewell White House, goodbye Christ the Redeemer, arrivederci Vatican City, au revoir Eiffel Tower . . . you get the picture.


But does the Capitol Records building buy it? It's not a disaster movie unless the Capitol Records building is blown to pieces.
 
2009-11-09 11:26:42 AM  

Sybarite: I'll admit it, disaster porn is a weakness of mine. I blame the nuclear holocaust movies of my youth.


I hear ya.

I actually liked "The Day After Tomorrow," it had good eye candy. The science bit was way over the top (yeah, the current thing is real, but it's not disaster-day fast, people). If the cause had been just left to "Well, God got mad, and so it's time for FLOOD 2!!!" it would have been better IMHO.
 
2009-11-09 11:28:08 AM  
I saw the clip of them escaping the earthquake in a limo. I don't mind suspending my disbelief for a movie, but that was just so over the top that I felt insulted. Not to mention the acting may as well have been a special effect. But I guess you don't go to those types of movies hoping for anything transcendent. You just expect things to blow up real good.
 
2009-11-09 11:30:21 AM  

BigSnatch: My one problem with the movie is the commercials for it. One had "confirmed by science" as part of the commercial. First of all, what does that even mean? Second of all, is this really something the country needs to see at a point where we are giving so many retards face time?


Yeah. I first heard of this movie by seeing an ad for it on TV in a bar. I looked up, stuff was blowing up and flooding etc like CRAZY, I thought, hey, w00, I'll go see that! Then I see it's about the Mayan thing, okay, well, I'll still go see that.

The tacked on science is always utter cheese. Better just have it an angry god.
 
2009-11-09 11:38:05 AM  

jlawn001: What's the take on Ninja Assassin around here?


Quite simply, I cannot farking wait.
 
2009-11-09 11:40:00 AM  
This looks like the best comedy of the summer. I saw a trailer where the lead starts saying "When they tell you it's okay that when you know it's wrong!" right before California starts to sink into the ground.

This isn't a disaster movie. It's armageddon slapstick style. I'm looking forward to it.
 
2009-11-09 11:44:23 AM  
oh good, a 'turn off your brain and watch the flashing colors' retard-fest, they hardly ever make movies like that any more.
 
2009-11-09 11:48:10 AM  

jlawn001: What's the take on Ninja Assassin around here?


My roommate threatened death to anyone who stood in her way of seeing that movie.

/it does look pretty sweet
 
2009-11-09 11:49:33 AM  

spyderqueen: My roommate threatened death to anyone who stood in her way of seeing that movie.


Seconded.
 
2009-11-09 11:51:32 AM  

Marshmallow Jones: oh good, a 'turn off your brain and watch the flashing colors' retard-fest, they hardly ever make movies like that any more.


Film school reject, are we?
 
2009-11-09 11:52:20 AM  

Marshmallow Jones: oh good, a 'turn off your brain and watch the flashing colors' retard-fest, they hardly ever make movies like that any more.


heh, point taken.
 
2009-11-09 11:56:06 AM  
I demand to know why they show USS JFK crushing the white house whilst hornets slide off her deck.

Especially considering the JFK isn't in the Navy anymore.
 
2009-11-09 12:05:01 PM  
Interested, but not impressed...
www.staggeringstories.net

/"I, myself, would trust him to the end of the world."
//"Yes? And how far is that?"
///"About 12 minutes away."
 
2009-11-09 12:06:10 PM  

Mugato: How did the Statue of Liberty fare? Roland hates the Statue of Liberty.

I kind of like disaster porn too. Mostly because I'm an FX guy and appreciate decent FX, even if the movie itself sucks. The melodramatic human drama they use as filler is usually pretty funny too.


Agreed. I absolutely adore Armageddon and I'll probably like this too. Bring on the splosions. How far away are we from fx houses just making a 90 minute explosion reel with no actors? Hopefully, not too far.
 
2009-11-09 12:08:25 PM  

towatchoverme: Marshmallow Jones: oh good, a 'turn off your brain and watch the flashing colors' retard-fest, they hardly ever make movies like that any more.

Film school reject, are we?



He might just be someone who watched movie trailers this year. Or any year, for the last........ ever. Movies sure are getting prettier - but also dumber.
 
2009-11-09 12:17:33 PM  
LATER MOVIE SNOBS! Stay home with a Box of tissues and watch The Notebook again.

more room at he theater for me. Cant Wait!
 
2009-11-09 12:20:02 PM  
I've decided to despise anyone who goes to see this movie.

By giving them box-office take-in, you're only encouraging them to keep making mindless, artless special-effects laden garbage without any sort of plot, character development, or intellect.

Hollywood needs to learn that crap like this isn't worth $10+ per person.

Stop encouraging them!
 
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