Sorry subby, I didn't see "Making Unwatchable Movies" on the list.

Rule 9: ???????
Rule 10: Profit

mdbuff12: Sorry subby, I didn't see "Making Unwatchable Movies" on the list.

Came here for this, kind sir.

/adjusts monocle

Even as a pretentious Herzog-loving film BFA major, I can't pretend that I don't like Roland Emmerich. I can't pretend I don't love Roland Emmerich.

Among other things, he certainly understands how to capture an audience's heart.

Jonathan Hohensee: Among other things, he certainly understands how to capture an audience's heart money.

FTFY

Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

That sounds awesome.

Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

I LIKE IT!
I will pay you $3 million for a treatment.

I like disaster movies. I am unashamed of this and will be seeing this movie opening night, by myself if my girlfriend has no interest in it. Seeing stuff blow up is good clean fun and I will not hear otherwise.

NuclearPenguins: I like disaster movies. I am unashamed of this and will be seeing this movie opening night, by myself if my girlfriend has no interest in it. Seeing stuff blow up is good clean fun and I will not hear otherwise.

Same here. While I tend to prefer my mindless entertainment between Memorial and Labor Day, I am flexible.

Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

Sorry, that's not ridiculous enough. What if it goes flying through the air and lands in the courtyard of the Pentagon? Also, in an earlier establishing shot show a top-secret fusion generator below the location, that goes into a runaway chain reaction. Then we can show a pressure wave that rips through the entire city!

hogans: Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

Sorry, that's not ridiculous enough. What if it goes flying through the air and lands in the courtyard of the Pentagon? Also, in an earlier establishing shot show a top-secret fusion generator below the location, that goes into a runaway chain reaction. Then we can show a pressure wave that rips through the entire city!

No no no.

A volcano blasts the Washington Monument, sending it flying into the courtyard of the Pentagon. This acts as a key to the lock of the earth, as the Pentagon was secretly built by a joint collaboration by the Creators and the US Government. The earth cracks in half and opens up to reveal a giant doomsday laser that fires pulses of anti-matter directly into our sun, causing it to Supernova, releasing one GIANT blast wave.

hogans: Sorry, that's not ridiculous enough. What if it goes flying through the air and lands in the courtyard of the Pentagon?

This is a non-starter if we want to keep the movie at a PG rating.

Rules 1-8: Asploshuns!

And Roland Emmerich wept, for he had no more worlds to blow up.

Fano: And Roland Emmerich wept, for he had no more worlds to blow up.

You may think that. But just wait. 2 years from now, a new series will debut.

Stargate: Explosions, starring Roland Emmerich.

The world wasn't destroyed in 2012. Only the non-muslim parts.

Allah wiped out those infidels.

I love Roland Emmerich movies. Don't care who knows it.

Rickerkioz: I love Roland Emmerich movies. Don't care who knows it.

Me too, but let me ask you... or anyone else? Was 10,000 BC worth the time?

Clarence Potter: Rickerkioz: I love Roland Emmerich movies. Don't care who knows it.

Me too, but let me ask you... or anyone else? Was 10,000 BC worth the time?

You know I found it to be a pretty fun movie, check your history major at the door and settle in for some good action. Of course this is coming from a guy who really enjoyed 300 as well so take my opinion as that.

BumpInTheNight: Clarence Potter: Rickerkioz: I love Roland Emmerich movies. Don't care who knows it.

Me too, but let me ask you... or anyone else? Was 10,000 BC worth the time?

You know I found it to be a pretty fun movie, check your history major at the door and settle in for some good action. Of course this is coming from a guy who really enjoyed 300 as well so take my opinion as that.

Sold. I am hoping for something like Apocalypto, but with more unintentional laughs.

Clarence Potter:
Sold. I am hoping for something like Apocalypto, but with more unintentional laughs.

Right on, I found that movie to be very engaging as well. Btw I just watched a little gem called Mongol last night which fits into this movie category too, a foreign film loosely based around the early life of a certain 12th century Mongolian warlord, more in the Apocalypto camp then the 300/10K BC camp.

keithreed01: hogans: Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

Sorry, that's not ridiculous enough. What if it goes flying through the air and lands in the courtyard of the Pentagon? Also, in an earlier establishing shot show a top-secret fusion generator below the location, that goes into a runaway chain reaction. Then we can show a pressure wave that rips through the entire city!

No no no.

A volcano blasts the Washington Monument, sending it flying into the courtyard of the Pentagon. This acts as a key to the lock of the earth, as the Pentagon was secretly built by a joint collaboration by the Creators and the US Government. The earth cracks in half and opens up to reveal a giant doomsday laser that fires pulses of anti-matter directly into our sun, causing it to Supernova, releasing one GIANT blast wave.

You assholes just gave Nicolas Cage 3 more years on his career knock it off.

I'm seeing the shiat out of this. As will 95% of the sanctimonious vag found herein.

keithreed01: hogans: Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

Sorry, that's not ridiculous enough. What if it goes flying through the air and lands in the courtyard of the Pentagon? Also, in an earlier establishing shot show a top-secret fusion generator below the location, that goes into a runaway chain reaction. Then we can show a pressure wave that rips through the entire city!

No no no.

A volcano blasts the Washington Monument, sending it flying into the courtyard of the Pentagon. This acts as a key to the lock of the earth, as the Pentagon was secretly built by a joint collaboration by the Creators and the US Government. The earth cracks in half and opens up to reveal a giant doomsday laser that fires pulses of anti-matter directly into our sun, causing it to Supernova, releasing one GIANT blast wave.

I would see this movie.

BumpInTheNight: Clarence Potter: Rickerkioz: I love Roland Emmerich movies. Don't care who knows it.

Me too, but let me ask you... or anyone else? Was 10,000 BC worth the time?

You know I found it to be a pretty fun movie, check your history major at the door and settle in for some good action. Of course this is coming from a guy who really enjoyed 300 as well so take my opinion as that.

I laughed at my friend who walked out on 10,000BC because it wasn't "historically accurate".
I told him I walked out on Year One for the same reason.

Also, Roland forgot to mention, put kids in harms way.
Little girls are better at pulling your heartstrings.

And ya, I'll be watching this one also. Disaster movies are no different than people who like horror or monster movies.
I love the genre.

Rule 9: Destroy a non-American city (preferably Tokyo or Paris) early in the movie to prove the situation is serious.

Heroic Poser: And ya, I'll be watching this one also. Disaster movies are no different than people who like horror or monster movies.
I love the genre.

They'll never be able to top James Frawley's magnum opus, The Big Bus.

BumpInTheNight: Clarence Potter: Rickerkioz: I love Roland Emmerich movies. Don't care who knows it.

Me too, but let me ask you... or anyone else? Was 10,000 BC worth the time?

You know I found it to be a pretty fun movie, check your history major at the door and settle in for some good action. Of course this is coming from a guy who really enjoyed 300 as well so take my opinion as that.

I didn't hate it. I knew what it was when I walked in, and walked out with a smile on my face. You can't really ask for much more on 10 bucks nowadays.

Arkanaut: Then we came up with image of [the aircraft carrier John F. Kennedy crashing into the White House, which is like] JFK returns to the White House. I was reading about the Kennedy family a lot at the time and thought that was sort of ironic and interesting in a way.

"Then I read a book about George Washington so I thought it would be ironic and interesting if a giant pair of wooden dentures came flying through the air and bit the current president on the ass."


hoots_toot_ochaye: I'm thinking that 2012 may wind up being the disaster pron movie that turns out to be unbeatable, as disaster pron goes. So, I don't care how absolutely redonkulous it is, I'm ponying up the cash to see it on the big screen.

When they fly the plane through the city as buildings are toppling left and right I expected to see megalodon come flying through the air to bite the plane.


It really sounds like this guy directs movies the way I played with my G.I. Joes as a kid.

The Asylum did this last year .(pops)

titwrench: keithreed01: hogans: Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

Sorry, that's not ridiculous enough. What if it goes flying through the air and lands in the courtyard of the Pentagon? Also, in an earlier establishing shot show a top-secret fusion generator below the location, that goes into a runaway chain reaction. Then we can show a pressure wave that rips through the entire city!

No no no.

A volcano blasts the Washington Monument, sending it flying into the courtyard of the Pentagon. This acts as a key to the lock of the earth, as the Pentagon was secretly built by a joint collaboration by the Creators and the US Government. The earth cracks in half and opens up to reveal a giant doomsday laser that fires pulses of anti-matter directly into our sun, causing it to Supernova, releasing one GIANT blast wave.

You assholes just gave Nicolas Cage 3 more years on his career knock it off.

WRONG, it will star Danny Devito as President, Bruce Cambell as the lowly former government scientist with a plan, Dakota Fanning as the scientist's estranged daughter, Haley Joel Osmand as the President's son and love interest of Fanning, a black guy/girl, and Chris Klein as the stubborn ex-military go to when all else fails guy!

/Patrick Swayze was originally up for the part of President, but he hasn't returned my calls.
/Too soon?

INeedAName:
/Patrick Swayze was originally up for the part of President, but he hasn't returned my calls.
/Too soon?

More like too late :P

INeedAName: titwrench: keithreed01: hogans: Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

Sorry, that's not ridiculous enough. What if it goes flying through the air and lands in the courtyard of the Pentagon? Also, in an earlier establishing shot show a top-secret fusion generator below the location, that goes into a runaway chain reaction. Then we can show a pressure wave that rips through the entire city!

No no no.

A volcano blasts the Washington Monument, sending it flying into the courtyard of the Pentagon. This acts as a key to the lock of the earth, as the Pentagon was secretly built by a joint collaboration by the Creators and the US Government. The earth cracks in half and opens up to reveal a giant doomsday laser that fires pulses of anti-matter directly into our sun, causing it to Supernova, releasing one GIANT blast wave.

You assholes just gave Nicolas Cage 3 more years on his career knock it off.

WRONG, it will star Danny Devito as President, Bruce Cambell as the lowly former government scientist with a plan, Dakota Fanning as the scientist's estranged daughter, Haley Joel Osmand as the President's son and love interest of Fanning, a black guy/girl, and Chris Klein as the stubborn ex-military go to when all else fails guy!

/Patrick Swayze was originally up for the part of President, but he hasn't returned my calls.
/Too soon?

No it is not too soon. However you forgot to include Michael Ironside as the renegade Army officer who *appears* treasonous but really this is only the way it looks because one of the Baldwin Brothers (I forget which), who has the President's ear, is seeking to use the chaos to of the events to overthrow the government.

It's about time for a Planet X movie. I'm not happy with just an asteroid... I want to see a Mars-sized object smack the earth with enough force to cancel out orbital velocity and have the resulting molten goo fall into the Sun.

/For bonus points, have it hit the moon on the way in.
//For extra bonus points, have Planet X be mountainous and have the biggest mountain spear the White House as part of the impact.

Came here for the Roland-bashing. Leaving satisfied.

/would love to read a news article about flensing beetles devouring his eyeballs while he slept.

I really want to see 2012 actually. I can honestly say it looks to be the funniest film of the year.

Slapstick disaster anyone?

Roook: But honestly, we're running out of cities for this guy to destroy,

New York City is a bunch of cities?

Kinda like how the internet is a series of tubes.

Roland Emmerich has had 4 or 5 submissions here in the past week. Is he a farker now under an assumed name?

Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

I would think, in an attempt to play to the homosexual voters, it would go right up Obama's ass. And Obama would like it. Whether the homo voters did or not.

Clarence Potter: INeedAName: titwrench: keithreed01: hogans: Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

Sorry, that's not ridiculous enough. What if it goes flying through the air and lands in the courtyard of the Pentagon? Also, in an earlier establishing shot show a top-secret fusion generator below the location, that goes into a runaway chain reaction. Then we can show a pressure wave that rips through the entire city!

No no no.

A volcano blasts the Washington Monument, sending it flying into the courtyard of the Pentagon. This acts as a key to the lock of the earth, as the Pentagon was secretly built by a joint collaboration by the Creators and the US Government. The earth cracks in half and opens up to reveal a giant doomsday laser that fires pulses of anti-matter directly into our sun, causing it to Supernova, releasing one GIANT blast wave.

You assholes just gave Nicolas Cage 3 more years on his career knock it off.

WRONG, it will star Danny Devito as President, Bruce Cambell as the lowly former government scientist with a plan, Dakota Fanning as the scientist's estranged daughter, Haley Joel Osmand as the President's son and love interest of Fanning, a black guy/girl, and Chris Klein as the stubborn ex-military go to when all else fails guy!

/Patrick Swayze was originally up for the part of President, but he hasn't returned my calls.
/Too soon?

No it is not too soon. However you forgot to include Michael Ironside as the renegade Army officer who *appears* treasonous but really this is only the way it looks because one of the Baldwin Brothers (I forget which), who has the President's ear, is seeking to use the chaos to of the events to overthrow the government.


Shoehorn a couple of vampires into that flick and you got yourself a Golden Globe.

Fark me, I have to confess that the included chase scene was one goddamn intene apocalyporno money shot. Thanks, Roland. For these ridiculous DISASTER!! movies of yours, their pubescent plotlines backed up by grade-school science and grad-level gobbledygook... they're entertaining as hell and they have touched my soul. I want to experience this flick in IMAX right the hell now.

Lee451: Mentat: I want to see a movie where a volcano erupts under the Washington Monument but instead of destroying it, the Washington Monument flies in the air and impales THE WHITE HOUSE!

I would think, in an attempt to play to the homosexual voters, it would go right up Obama's ass. And Obama would like it. Whether the homo voters did or not.

What an incredibly Christian thing to say.