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(Washington Post) Asinine The DMV is destroying the hearts and minds of married women who've changed their names   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 247
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25938 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2009 at 12:32 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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Tom_Slick
2009-11-06 10:31:52 AM
You know it is stories like this that make very afraid of Government health care.
 
Eat_At_Milliways
2009-11-06 10:39:30 AM
Tom_Slick: You know it is stories like this that make very afraid of Government health care.

Almost a complete thought! Good job!
 
Gamer Grrrl
2009-11-06 10:51:32 AM
Perhaps it's just VA that's retarded. When I got married, the CA DMV had me present my old driver's license and my marriage certificate and that was it.

Unfortunately I picked the day the Governator chose to lay off all the temporary help because the budget hadn't yet been passed, and it took me 4 hours to get my last name changed.
 
oi_piss_me_off [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 10:57:50 AM
i'm glad i kept my name. it sounds like a pain in the ass.
 
Eat_At_Milliways
2009-11-06 11:02:04 AM
oi_piss_me_off: i'm glad i kept my name. it sounds like a pain in the ass.

Meh, I'm operating under the plan of, should I get married, she'll keep her name, any progeny will take mine. Seems to work out.
 
oi_piss_me_off [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 11:26:05 AM
Eat_At_Milliways
oi_piss_me_off: i'm glad i kept my name. it sounds like a pain in the ass.

Meh, I'm operating under the plan of, should I get married, she'll keep her name, any progeny will take mine. Seems to work out.

that's my thought too, but i think my husband was a little miffed about it, and honestly, he has a lame last name.
 
toddalmighty [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 11:58:12 AM
FTFA: the passage of the Real ID law, which created standardized, federal identification standards

Uh, this sure isn't the case in my state.
 
noYOUare
2009-11-06 12:27:30 PM
When I moved out of state (TN to OK) and tried to get a new license, I had in my possession at the time: my birth certificate (maiden name), a current TN driver's license in my married name, an expired OK driver's license in my married name, and a current passport in my married name.

Apparently that wasn't good enough, because they asked for five-year-old documentation that I wasn't married any more.
 
FishInABowl
2009-11-06 12:34:48 PM
God knows Petula Dvorak needs a name change.
 
atomic-age
2009-11-06 12:35:35 PM
oi_piss_me_off: i'm glad i kept my name. it sounds like a pain in the ass.

Kept my name. Never had a moment's hassle regarding my ID.

Plenty of hassle from his idiot sister, however.
 
dramboxf [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 12:36:22 PM
I was surprised that my wife took my last name (Rambo) but she loves it. We were married in 2000, before all this hysteria, so it was fairly simple to get her name changed.

But on the topic, I had a girlfriend that was adamant that she wouldn't take my last name if we married. I asked her why, and she said that as an ultra-uber-black-belt-weapons-grade feminist, she absolutely REFUSED to take a man's name, and would keep her own, thankyouverymuch.

"So..." I said, biting my cheeks not to smile "...you'll be keeping your dad's name then?"

Her eyes got really big and she said, "Fine! If we get married, I'll take my mother's maiden name!"

"So..." I said, trying really hard not to laugh, "you'll be taking *her* Dad's name?"

Oh man was she mad. It was quite funny actually.

This was also the woman that told me that if I were to come home from work one and discover her being raped, she'd rather let the rapist continue his dastardly deed than allow me to defend her honor with a legally purchased and owned firearm. THAT'S how anti-gun (and, frankly, nutty) she was.
 
interluder
2009-11-06 12:36:28 PM
It's the damn hyphen, always the fookin hyphen.
Ladies/lesbians, just let go.
 
Third In Line [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 12:38:29 PM
No shiat, this is annoying. When I was taking a trip to Mexico with some friends a few years ago, I just got a passport. I was not going to present my birth certificate, marriage license AND divorce papers at the border. Fook that.
 
Nogale
2009-11-06 12:38:41 PM
Solution: don't take your husband's name!

Duh. Stupid custom.
 
grizzlyjohnson
2009-11-06 12:39:01 PM
I suffered the horrible writing ("standardized federal identification standards") until the second use of "kafkaesque" and then I couldn't take it any more. Married women having to change their name is an outdated relic from the days of patriarchical oppression. It should go away.
 
ihatedumbpeople
2009-11-06 12:39:21 PM
It's not a pain in the ass if you have common sense. The DMV doesn't know you're married unless you bring a marriage certificate. If your birth certificate doesn't have the same name as your current info, guess what...you aren't you until you prove it.

If it were any easier, ID theft would be a snap, and people would have authentic DMV docs to prove they're you.
 
interluder
2009-11-06 12:39:54 PM
Sorry, should have also stated..... "We Marry? , Now we own you" Deal with it
 
ihatedumbpeople
2009-11-06 12:40:08 PM
grizzlyjohnson: I suffered the horrible writing ("standardized federal identification standards") until the second use of "kafkaesque" and then I couldn't take it any more. Married women having to change their name is an outdated relic from the days of patriarchical oppression. It should go away.

If alimony/spousal support goes with it, I'm behind you 100%.
 
Nogale
2009-11-06 12:40:36 PM
oi_piss_me_off: Eat_At_Milliways
oi_piss_me_off: i'm glad i kept my name. it sounds like a pain in the ass.

Meh, I'm operating under the plan of, should I get married, she'll keep her name, any progeny will take mine. Seems to work out.

that's my thought too, but i think my husband was a little miffed about it, and honestly, he has a lame last name.

I really wouldn't marry anyone who had a problem with my decision not to take his name. Would seem to indicate control issues and a certain lack of ability to distinguish between what matters and what doesn't.
 
coxinha
2009-11-06 12:41:06 PM
I've moved a lot in the past 3 years and have had to get a new license 3 times. Birth certificate, social security card, and a copy of my marriage certificate from the state I married in has worked every time.
 
Corvus
2009-11-06 12:41:43 PM
Tom_Slick: You know it is stories like this that make very afraid of Government health care.

Well you are lucky then since NO ONE at all is trying to have government run health care system.

Stop being a reactionary ass and repeating these tired talking points that are lies.

an OPTIONAL health care INSURANCE plan is not OMG THE GOVERNMENT IS TAKING OVER HEALTH CARE!!!!!!
 
therhinodep
2009-11-06 12:41:56 PM
Eat_At_Milliways: Tom_Slick: You know it is stories like this that make very afraid of Government health care.

Almost a complete thought! Good job!

Actually, Tom_Slick's post was not only a complete thought, but a complete sentence, unlike your own.
 
mjoven1975
2009-11-06 12:41:57 PM
My wife and I got married on October 10th. When we got back from the honeymoon, she went down to Social Security with a copy of our marriage license, got her name changed and immediately went to the DMV. She had absolutely no problems and had her new SS card and driver's license in the mail in less than a week.
 
vernonFL [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 12:42:03 PM
The Nazis had 'Real ID' laws too.

www.usmbooks.com

/hot
 
Contrabulous Flabtraption [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 12:42:06 PM
FishInABowl: God knows Petula Dvorak needs a name change.

damn it, that was to be my joke. MINE!

/women prolly shouldn't be allowed to drive anyway.
 
Nogale
2009-11-06 12:42:26 PM
ihatedumbpeople: grizzlyjohnson: I suffered the horrible writing ("standardized federal identification standards") until the second use of "kafkaesque" and then I couldn't take it any more. Married women having to change their name is an outdated relic from the days of patriarchical oppression. It should go away.

If alimony/spousal support goes with it, I'm behind you 100%.

Alimony, sure. Child support - no way.
 
fenianfark
2009-11-06 12:42:33 PM
When my wife married me, she needed to submit something to the Social Security Administration to get a new card. Then she could take that, along with the required documents and get her name changed at the DMV. With a new SS card, the wedding license and the basic forms (birth certificate, passport, etc) anyone can do this.

It's not rocket science, nor does it require a story. Call the DMV and they will tell you how to go about it.
 
Ashley Schaeffer BMW
2009-11-06 12:42:56 PM
Gamer Grrrl: Perhaps it's just VA that's retarded. When I got married, the CA DMV had me present my old driver's license and my marriage certificate and that was it.

Unfortunately I picked the day the Governator chose to lay off all the temporary help because the budget hadn't yet been passed, and it took me 4 hours to get my last name changed.

I do think it's just VA that's retarded... when the missus and I got married they told her to call social security and change it. She couldn't change her social security without a photo ID. Their response was "sometimes you'll get someone at the DMV who will let you"... needless to say my wife doesn't share in the Schaeffer BMW family name.

/Would bother me if we didn't have a child who has my last name.
 
KhamanV
2009-11-06 12:43:21 PM
I thought I was being lazy when I never took my husband's last name. Turns out I was being progressive and avoiding hassle.

Never let it be said that procrastination never did anything for anybody.

/I had another thought but I'll come up with it later
 
DaJesus
2009-11-06 12:44:04 PM
dramboxf: This was also the woman that told me that if I were to come home from work one and discover her being raped, she'd rather let the rapist continue his dastardly deed than allow me to defend her honor with a legally purchased and owned firearm. THAT'S how anti-gun (and, frankly, nutty) she was.

Sounds to me like she was gauging your interest in rape role-playing.

/Didn't even need to look at your profile to figure out that she is from California.
 
ttintagel
2009-11-06 12:44:10 PM
I work with a lot of educators, and the majority of them are women. It drives me absolutely bananas trying to keep up with their name changes. professional women: KEEP THE NAME YOU GOT YOUR DEGREE/CERTIFICATION UNDER. You'll find yourselves being taken far more seriously.

Part of my old job was keeping a statewide database of teachers of a certain subject. Every year I would scramble to get all the women's last names right, and every year I would get complaints.

Once I was making phone calls to get everyone's information. I said to one woman, "I have you listed as Mary Smith, but I've heard a few people mention that a Mary Jones teaches X at your school. Do I just have your last name down wrong?"

Her response was to burst into tears and mutter something I couldn't understand. I asked around and found out she was in the middle of the divorce.

Changing your name in a society where half of marriages end in divorce is a schoolgirl-silly-romantic-rose-colored notion that needs to go away.
 
wmoonfox
2009-11-06 12:44:32 PM
I refuse to support click-whoring. Put your article on one page, or I'm gone -- either way, you are only getting one visit out of me.
 
Fast Thick Pants
2009-11-06 12:45:16 PM
Petula is an extremely unfortunate name. Though I guess Intolera would be even worse. Or Absorba.

I think I'd be ok with Aberra, Significa, Blata, or even Buoya.
 
Kazan [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 12:45:20 PM
Tom_Slick: You know it is stories like this that make very afraid of Government health care.

yes, because the government owning a not-for-profit insurance companies is in any way going to remotely cause anything like this in a hospital

you sir, are a retard.
 
Prank Call of Cthulhu
2009-11-06 12:45:30 PM
From the original article (new window) written about this:

After living in several states and traveling overseas to at least a dozen countries, Earley had never encountered anyone who doubted her paperwork or identity. Well, she admits that once, when she was pulled aside for random screening by the Transportation Security Agency before boarding a flight, she snapped at the latex-glove-wearing officer: "Terrorists don't live to be 90."

LOL.

Also, there was this gem:

"We didn't just randomly make that up. It's the state law," Stokes said. "And the Department of Motor Vehicles can't make exceptions for certain people. We cannot just violate the law."

which was followed later by:

Turns out, the persnickety DMV clerk who stuck to the letter of the law when it came to the whole ordeal spelled Earley's name wrong. Earley is now Jean Patterson Early.


You know, I could be wrong, but it's probably also illegal to issue someone an ID that doesn't have their correct name. Dumbasses.

Once again bureaucratic small-mindedness and an unwillingness for a moran to get a brain triumphs over common sense.
 
grizzlyjohnson
2009-11-06 12:45:42 PM
ihatedumbpeople: grizzlyjohnson: I suffered the horrible writing ("standardized federal identification standards") until the second use of "kafkaesque" and then I couldn't take it any more. Married women having to change their name is an outdated relic from the days of patriarchical oppression. It should go away.

If alimony/spousal support goes with it, I'm behind you 100%.

Depends, I think. If spouse A is supporting spouse B, and spouse A does something to fark it up through no fault of spouse B, then I think A owes B something. For a while at least. It's like jobs, if you lose yours without cause, you get unemployment.

However, here in Utah, the woman always wins no matter what. I would run over her with my car before I'd get a divorce in this state.
 
Corvus
2009-11-06 12:46:13 PM
mjoven1975: My wife and I got married on October 10th. When we got back from the honeymoon, she went down to Social Security with a copy of our marriage license, got her name changed and immediately went to the DMV. She had absolutely no problems and had her new SS card and driver's license in the mail in less than a week.

It took a little bit for my wife to get it all done but it was not some horrific experience like this article tries to make it.

I haven't needed to go to a DMV for like 10 years. At least in my state most things can be done online.

To me most people I know who complain, don't turn the things in the need to in the mail, don't look on-line to see if they can do it on-line, don't make an appointment and then complain when it takes them a long time. People need to take a little responsibility on their own.
 
Kazan [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 12:46:18 PM
oi_piss_me_off: Eat_At_Milliways
oi_piss_me_off: i'm glad i kept my name. it sounds like a pain in the ass.

Meh, I'm operating under the plan of, should I get married, she'll keep her name, any progeny will take mine. Seems to work out.

that's my thought too, but i think my husband was a little miffed about it, and honestly, he has a lame last name.

my real last name is Meek

talk about lame last name.
 
vygramul [TotalFark]
2009-11-06 12:46:38 PM
So much for the sanctity of marriage.
 
Zircrom
2009-11-06 12:47:02 PM
Came for the women driver comments. Leaving disappointed.

But I do agree that this is a pain in the ass.
 
Mnemia
2009-11-06 12:47:54 PM
Nogale: I really wouldn't marry anyone who had a problem with my decision not to take his name. Would seem to indicate control issues and a certain lack of ability to distinguish between what matters and what doesn't.

Seriously. My wife told me that she'd rather keep her own last name (my last name is an "interesting" one), and I didn't give a crap. Why would anyone care about this issue at all? It's her name after all, not mine, and not mine to dictate. It's just not a big deal, and I've now heard a number of similar horror stories similar to the one in this article from friends who did change their names. Why bother at all if you're risking this kind of garbage happening? I mean, it's not like you can't go by whatever name you want socially, and then just not bother with the legal change.
 
fappomatic
2009-11-06 12:48:12 PM
Anyone who has ever been to a Virginia DMV leaves feeling violated. Something as simple as requesting a copy of your driving record will require a descent to hell from which your soul may never escape.
 
TheOriginalEd
2009-11-06 12:48:13 PM
came in for the obama birth certificate flame. leaving disappointed.
 
dead_dangler
2009-11-06 12:48:26 PM
I wouldn't call them "women". I'd call them spineless victims of a misogynistic, phallocentric patriarchy.
 
Deucednuisance
2009-11-06 12:49:04 PM
Well, this would never happen across the Mighty Potomac in the People's Republic of Maryland!

We don't have a DMV!

We gots an MVA!

/XYZ, PDQ!
 
The Crack Kid
2009-11-06 12:49:14 PM
My father was paid alimony by my mother after their divorce, and I don't intend to let my hypothetical future wife "take my name", so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/Mom makes roughly twice as much as Dad.
 
Corvus
2009-11-06 12:49:49 PM
Prank Call of Cthulhu: From the original article (new window) written about this:

After living in several states and traveling overseas to at least a dozen countries, Earley had never encountered anyone who doubted her paperwork or identity. Well, she admits that once, when she was pulled aside for random screening by the Transportation Security Agency before boarding a flight, she snapped at the latex-glove-wearing officer: "Terrorists don't live to be 90."

LOL.

Also, there was this gem:

"We didn't just randomly make that up. It's the state law," Stokes said. "And the Department of Motor Vehicles can't make exceptions for certain people. We cannot just violate the law."

which was followed later by:

Turns out, the persnickety DMV clerk who stuck to the letter of the law when it came to the whole ordeal spelled Earley's name wrong. Earley is now Jean Patterson Early.


You know, I could be wrong, but it's probably also illegal to issue someone an ID that doesn't have their correct name. Dumbasses.

Once again bureaucratic small-mindedness and an unwillingness for a moran to get a brain triumphs over common sense.

So you think federal employees should not follow security rules if they "think it's ok". Because that is what you are saying.

Do you understand the "weakest link" idea about security.

If their are exceptions, then if their is a security attack people will go for these exceptions. On 9/11 they were dressed like business men so they wouldn't be scrutinized for example. Having security with "exceptions" means you have no security.
 
Maggie_Luna
2009-11-06 12:50:20 PM
Urgh, I never plan to taken any possible future husband's name. Not just because I'm a feminist, which really is beside the point, it's just my dang name. I like my name. I'm keeping it and passing it on to progeny in some form. I also hate paper work so that's part of the reason. If husband wanted to take my name, if by some rare instance he wanted to, I would discourage it. I just hate paperwork in general: seeing it, hearing about it, filling out, filing it, etc.

If I every have a biological child I'm going to "visit my mother" when labor comes about then come back with the progeny, named and such in the way I see fit. It's because I'm evil, that's why, before you ask.

/would actually just do double surname with children
//Hispanic so legitimate option, probably sound odd though
///Slashies
 
Oznog
2009-11-06 12:50:39 PM
WE MUST PRESERVE THE SANCTITY OF BIRTH NAMES!!

Vote Yes on Proposition Fark
 
mjoven1975
2009-11-06 12:50:42 PM
Corvus: mjoven1975: My wife and I got married on October 10th. When we got back from the honeymoon, she went down to Social Security with a copy of our marriage license, got her name changed and immediately went to the DMV. She had absolutely no problems and had her new SS card and driver's license in the mail in less than a week.

It took a little bit for my wife to get it all done but it was not some horrific experience like this article tries to make it.

I haven't needed to go to a DMV for like 10 years. At least in my state most things can be done online.

To me most people I know who complain, don't turn the things in the need to in the mail, don't look on-line to see if they can do it on-line, don't make an appointment and then complain when it takes them a long time. People need to take a little responsibility on their own.

We live in California. I'm guessing most women who have problems don't bring their marriage license with them when they go to change their name. It isn't that difficult if you bring the proper documents with you.
 
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